After a week of successfully carrying out Rin’s wishes, Saeed finally felt as though he was beginning to earn the mage’s trust. In fact, it couldn’t have turned out better had he planned it. Rin had entrusted the care and protection of his most prized possession in Saeed’s hands, which just happened to be the very thing he coveted.
Since that night in his penthouse when he’d taken her vein, Cerys had become increasingly distant. Infuriating, not to mention frustrating, but Saeed had never been one to back down from a challenge. She wasn’t afraid of him. On the contrary, her scent became even more fragrant and heady every time she arrived at his door to pick him up for the night. She remained stoic though, never mentioning their previous conversations regarding his admission that he’d come to Seattle specifically for her, or that he’d had her blood.
Like clockwork, she arrived at his door every night at ten o’clock, and tonight was no different. Saeed opened the front door before she even had a chance to ring the bell. She tried to appear annoyed but amusement sparkled in her unusually light eyes.
“Maybe it’s not such a good thing to be a creature of habit.”
Saeed’s lips quirked in a smile. Her scent invaded his nostrils and ignited his thirst. He’d had her blood a mere week ago, and could presumably go a couple more weeks or longer before he needed it again. Still, he craved her taste. Longed to sink his fangs into her tender flesh. He might’ve been holding it together physically, but his clarity of mind was another matter altogether. Saeed still couldn’t understand why Cerys had failed to tether him. He’d counted on the return of his soul to banish the madness that had plagued him these many months. Instead, he was emptier than he’d ever been, more lost, and even more obsessed.
The Collective refused to release its hold on him. The backdrop of his penthouse blurred out of focus and was replaced with an image of Cerys bathed in early morning sunlight. She stood on the balcony that overlooked the sea while Rin spoke in hushed tones with a vampire seated beside him. Through the dead vampire’s memories, Saeed sensed Rin’s interest in Cerys. Jealousy burned in Saeed’s chest and he rubbed at his sternum as though to banish the sensation.
“I told you, she’s not for sale.”
The vampire laughed. “Nonsense. Everything has a price.”
“Not her,” Rin replied. “She is priceless.”
Saeed let out a violent growl. His secondary fangs pushed down through his gums, and he was possessed of an urge to bite and tear flesh. For centuries, she had been treated as a commodity. A resource of great value. Had he known about her sooner, he would have done everything in his power to free her from this life of servitude.
“Saeed?”
He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes in an effort to banish the torturous visions that refused to release their hold.
“Saeed?”
Cerys’s voice came to him as though reaching out through time and space. He held onto the sound, let it become his entire world, as he fought his way through the tangled web of memories and back to reality.
“Hey!” Her earlier concern transformed as she issued the command. “Snap out of it.”
Gods, if only it were that easy. The Collective called to him and he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the churning sea of memories. No. He didn’t. He couldn’t. That time had passed. He needed to stay in the now. She was here with him in the present, and the past no longer mattered. “Leave me be,” he murmured to the memories that called to him. “I no longer need your guidance.”
He no longer needed the Collective, but apparently it still needed him. Saeed cradled his head in his hands and gnashed his teeth. His knees buckled and crashed to the floor a second later. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, unwilling to witness his reality once again fall out from beneath him. A hand wrapped around his collar and Saeed was hauled to his feet. His back met the wall with a violent shove that rattled his teeth.
“We don’t have time for this.” Desperation leaked into Cerys’s voice. “You need to get your shit together. Now.”
Against his better judgment, he allowed his eyes to slowly come open. The details of his penthouse apartment came into focus in the periphery of his vision, and directly in front of him, Cerys pinned him against the wall. Her brows cut angry slashes above her bright eyes and her lip pulled back in a sneer. The tang of her agitation caused him to blow out a quick breath through his nose to clear it of the offensive scent. Get his shit together? Not a chance. At least, not until his soul was returned.
“Saeed.” Her voice no longer bore any trace of concern. “Did you hear me? Pull it together!”
Gods, how weak he must’ve appeared to her. Her blood had fortified him, given him strength, but without the tether to bind them, he would remain lost. The deep cavern where his soul should have been seemed to open even wider. An endless black hole that devoured anything that came near it.
“I’m all right.” He gave one more shake of his head to clear the fog from his mind. The voices of the Collective faded until they were nothing more than static sound. His thirst raged with dry heat and his fangs throbbed painfully in his gums. He drew in a deep breath but all it managed to do was tease him with Cerys’s tantalizing scent. “You need to back away from me.” His voice rasped in his throat. “Now.”
The anger melted from her expression, replaced by gentle curiosity. “Why?”
“Because if you don’t,” he said, “nothing will stop me from burying my fangs deep in your throat.”
Her scent changed yet again, blooming with desire. Saeed swallowed down a tortured groan as his head dropped between his shoulders. How could she not know the effect she had on him? Especially after the confession he’d made to her. “Back away, Cerys,” he warned once again. “Now.”
She released her hold on his shoulders in an instant and took several wary steps back. She was smart enough to be cautious and he appreciated that. Saeed braced his palms on his thighs and leaned over, drawing in deep breaths through his mouth so as not to tempt himself once again with the sweet scent of Cerys’s blood. He’d assured her he was fine but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He hung on to his control by the barest of threads. At any second, it could snap and he didn’t know if it would be his restraint or his mind that went first.
“I appreciate that you’re having some sort of a meltdown,” Cerys said from across the room. “But we’re on a schedule. You might not know Rin well, but I do, and the last thing he’ll tolerate is me showing up late.”
Her words helped to calm him. He wondered what sort of punishment she’d have to endure if she angered Rin. Myriad possibilities cropped up in Saeed’s mind, and he did his best to curb his thoughts lest he be tempted to go straight to Rin and rip out the bastard’s throat. Cerys continued to study him, wary. Her anxiety thickened the air, lent a sharp tang to it. He would protect her with his dying breath and she didn’t even understand why. Was there anything in this world more frustrating? To know in his heart of hearts she was his, when she didn’t have a single clue.
“I wouldn’t dream of keeping Rin waiting.” Saeed straightened and dusted his hands down the front of his jeans. He stretched his neck from side to side in an effort to release some of the tension that gathered between his shoulder blades. Cerys shifted her weight, placed her right palm on the pommel of the dagger sheathed at her hip. She watched him with an intensity that tied his gut into knots. How could she not feel this connection when it was the most real thing Saeed had ever felt?
Why in the gods’ names had she not tethered him?
“You good?” Cerys asked as she looked him up and down.
Saeed blew out a forceful breath. “I am. What’s on the agenda for tonight?”
* * *
Holy shit balls, the vampire was seriously a few crackers short of a stack. Cerys wanted to be annoyed. She wanted to be angry. All she could muster was a deep concern that constricted her chest and left her limbs weak and shaky. She’d heard the rumors that Saeed had lost his marbles. Hell, he’d admitted it himself. But up until now she’d yet to witness it with her own eyes.
He’d completely checked out. His eyes glazed over, unfocused. His expression grew wild. He muttered under his breath, words she couldn’t comprehend as it seemed he attempted to work through some unfathomable problem that had no solution. She had no idea what to say, how to help him. Likewise, she was incapable of offering comfort, and he’d find no solidarity with her. Cerys had lost her capacity for compassion the day she’d lost her soul. And yet, whenever Saeed was near, she felt a ghost of emotion as though he alone could evoke those things in her that Rin had stolen.
When he was near, she felt something akin to hope. And that was a very dangerous thing for her to feel when she knew she had none.
Cerys headed for the door, more than ready to put this fucked up night behind her. She didn’t need to look back to know Saeed followed her. His gaze touched every inch of her like the caresses of thousands of fingers. She’d come to a decision tonight, Saeed had to go. Problem was, Rin was already pretty damned infatuated. He’d gone on and on about how refreshing it was to have the company of a vampire once again. Cerys had almost suggested that Rin make Saeed his slave instead but bit back the words before they could escape her lips. She wasn’t looking for trouble. She’d gone decades without managing to piss Rin off. She wasn’t about to ruin her track record now.
Cerys could get through tonight. And then she’d do her best to convince Rin to cut the vampire loose and send him on his way.
“I want to explain.”
Cerys’s step faltered. Saeed’s voice reached out from behind her and the distress in his tone nearly stole her breath. “I don’t need an explanation.” Cerys kept walking, her gaze straight ahead.
“Whether you need it or don’t,” Saeed replied. “I want to give it.”
If he was looking for compassion, she had none to give. “Don’t worry about it.” She wasn’t interested in explanations, sob stories, or anything else. Everyone had problems. And whereas she wasn’t interested in hearing his, that didn’t mean she was about to judge. Her own existence was anything but ideal. “Let’s focus instead on what needs to be done so we can put Rin’s business to bed and call it a night.”
“And what business is that, exactly?”
Saeed looked up the street and down, Cerys assumed in search of the black Lexus. Tonight’s task required a little more stealth and a lot less flash ’n’ flare. The only transportation they’d have tonight was their own two feet.
“Rin did a favor for someone a few months ago,” Cerys began. “And this particular individual didn’t return the gesture when Rin asked. We’re delivering a reminder that when Rin asks you to do something, you do it.”
Saeed turned his head to look at her but Cerys kept her gaze straight ahead. “This is what you do for him?” The words ended on a growl. “Exact punishment on those who have wronged him.”
“More or less.” Cerys was careful not to give anything away in her own tone.
Saeed didn’t seem content with a simple explanation. “What is it that you do that makes you so valuable to him?”
Anxiety fueled adrenaline leaked into her bloodstream. If Saeed knew the truth about her, about what she could do, would he be afraid of her too? Would he shy from her as everyone else already did?
“Nothing in particular,” she replied.
Cerys didn’t bother waiting for the traffic light to change. She darted across Summit, avoiding the oncoming traffic with preternatural speed. Saeed followed close behind, his own speed and agility impressive. She’d forgotten how fast a vampire could move. She hit the sidewalk and kept walking, all but ignoring Saeed. He fell into step beside her, didn’t even miss a beat.
“You insult my intelligence if you think I’d actually buy that response.”
Cerys cringed. Whether he’d lost his marbles or not, she knew Saeed was no fool. That didn’t mean she hadn’t hoped he’d accept her response and leave it at that. Something about Saeed made her want to tell him everything. If she’d still possessed her soul, she would have gladly bared it to him. Cerys had never been very trusting. By their very nature, the fae were a suspicious lot. From the moment she laid eyes on Saeed, she’d wanted to trust him. Had inexplicably felt safe when he was near. The words sat at the edge of her tongue, and she wanted so much to tell him the truth. What did it matter? Everyone in the city knew what she was. He might as well hear it from her rather than someone else.
“I’m an enaid dwyn.” Admitting what she was hurt much more than she thought it would. “Do you know what that is?”
Saeed reached out and seized her by the wrist. He stopped dead in his tracks and spun her around to face him. A deep groove cut through his forehead and his dark irises were rimmed with silver, making his skin seem so much darker. Saeed embodied that dark intensity, and a pleasant shiver rippled over her skin. White hot need flared in her stomach and Cerys swallowed against the lump in her throat.
“Enaid dwyn are creatures of myth,” Saeed said.
Cerys cocked a dubious brow. “Says the vampire.”
He continued to study her as if he could see right inside of her. Her stomach curled in on itself, twisting and turning until it formed an unyielding knot. She waited for the look of shock to cross his features, and then the judgment, and finally fear. She’d grown used to it over the centuries but somehow it would be worse coming from him.
“Soul thief.” The words left Saeed’s mouth in the barest of whispers as he released his hold on her wrist.
Cerys looked away. She clutched her stomach as though to banish the empty, gnawing hunger that never left her. Saeed continued to stare and she wrapped her arms around her middle. Gods, she wished she’d never opened her damned mouth. She should’ve told him to mind his own fucking business and stay out of hers.
“With power like yours,” Saeed said, “you could master anyone. Anything.” Cerys looked up at his wondrous tone. His expression softened and he regarded her with a newfound respect and admiration that left her breathless, shaking, and not a little scared. That admiration quickly transformed to concern. “What leverage does Rin have over you that would cause you to bow to him?”
No one had ever asked her that before. Over the thousands of years she’d been Rinieri de Rege’s slave, not one single individual had ever wondered how the mage had managed to master her. Everyone simply assumed she was as cold and heartless as he was. The words left Cerys’s lips before she could stop herself, “He has my soul.”