Shayera

That was it.

I was nine years old.

Hopping out of bed with all the excitement that came with the knowledge that I was finally a woman, I ran to my mirror. My eyes glowed, and my cheeks were pink, but I felt a frown pull at my forehead and mouth the longer I stared at myself.

I shook my head. Surely, something had gone amiss during the night. Where are my boobs? Pinching at the baggy top on my chest, I felt my happiness beginning a slow deflation into annoyance. Maybe I need to look at myself from the side.

I twirled one way and then the other, but I was flat as a board. What is this nightmare? Frowning, I wondered why my face still looked like a kid’s, why my arms and legs were still skinny, and why I still had no shape to my body, unlike Mama, who looked pretty in everything she wore.

Even my hair was the same ugly shade it’d been when I’d gone to bed the night before. Picking up a lock of fiery-orange hair, I wrinkled my nose. Nothing had changed at all. I felt a little bit like crying because I was so sure that I’d be a beautiful swan that day, but instead I growled.

I felt a prickle and burst at my back, and without needing to turn, I knew exactly who was behind me. My godmother, Danika.

“I’m still ugly,” I wailed, tossing up my hands.

Danika’s laughter shivered through the air like Sunday morning church bells. “Oh, dear me. In such a hurry to grow up, are ye?”

I twirled on my heels, flinging out my scrawny arms and whining, “Kingdom is a land of fairy tales and magic, Danika. You’re my fairy godmother. Shouldn’t there be something better than this?” I brushed an angry hand down my front.

She snorted. “If ye only knew just how lovely ye are, sweet girl. Besides”—she zipped toward me and began to muss about with my hair—“if I were you, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry to grow up. With age comes pain. Be a kid, Shayera. Revel in the freedom of the not knowing.”

I wrinkled my nose, unsure why she’d said any of that to me. “What ‘not knowing’? What’s coming? Do you know?”

She scoffed. “Hush, hush, little one. This is your special day. No more talk of knowing the future or thinking of boobs.”

I laughed. “Well, would that be such a terrible wish? You’re my godmother, so aren’t you supposed to give me everything that makes me happy?”

She laughed. “And you can know what’ll do that at the wise age of nine, do ye?”

I squinched up my face. “I can’t think of a time when I won’t want boobs, Danika. Can’t I at least get one birthday wish?”

“Aye. Of course.” She winked, and my tummy fluttered. Here come the boobs. “Within reason, of course.”

I glowered. “That’s not fair.”

She chuckled. “Life rarely is, love.”

“So what you’re saying is no boobs.”

For some reason, what I’d just said made her laugh so hard that tears fell out her eyes. “My word, you’re a persistent wee gnat, aren’t ye? Then I’ll give it to you straight, Shay, aye, no bitties this year. They’ll come soon enough without the aid of magic, believe me.”

I plopped my hands onto my rail-thin hips, feeling terribly let down. “But how am I to attract the boys without them?”

She wrinkled her nose as though I’d said something dirty and offensive. “And who wants to attract them anyhow?”

“Well...” I kicked out my toe, rubbing it into the dark-blue carpet on my bedroom floor. “I do.”

“Pfft. Boys. Boys are just that, boys. Crude and vulgar, fluffy-headed ninnymuggins without a thought in their heads, save what their wee little meat puppets tell ’em to think. No, best to not think of the enemy just yet.”

I laughed, because none of what she’d said made a bit of sense to me. “What is a meat puppet? It sounds disgusting.”

Danika blushed. “Aye, well, it is. And let’s not tell Mam and Dad what I said, okay? Keep it between us. But listen, wee one, boys... no. Don’t think about them, and not just because they’re silly, juvenile twerps at your age, but because there is... well...” She rolled her wrist, looking suddenly nervous and unsure.

Instantly I stiffened, wondering why Danika, who never had a problem speaking, suddenly seemed so anxious. “Well, what, Dani?” I asked softly a moment later.

She blinked, looked up at me as though shocked that I was even there, blinked again, and then shook her head for good measure. Her perfect brunette ringlets bobbed prettily around her heart-shaped face. “More, Shayera. So much more.”

I scratched the side of my face. “Wha—”

“Argh,” Danika mock-growled as she swatted my words away. “Never you mind. Now today is your birthday, and we’re all headed to the waters for a bit of fun.”

“The lake!” I clapped my hands, instantly forgetting about the weirdness just a moment before. “Oh, my gosh, that’s so exciting. Mama and Papa never let me go to the lake.”

“Aye, well, it’s a certain girl’s birthday, so today is just a wee bit special.”

She slipped her star-shaped wand out from a fold in her sleeve and pointed it directly at me. “Boopity, bloopity, blah,” she said, before crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue at me.

A bolt of pink fairy light engulfed me, prickling my skin and making me giggle because it suddenly felt as though I was being tickled by dozens of hands. As I laughed, I watched the magic work.

I was always in awe at how awesome it was to live in a place in which Danika, with just three words, could craft a gown of fluffy, shimmering green-and-pink fluff that draped over my body like a cloud and gave me the illusion of curves that I did not naturally have. Vines of pink-teacup roses and ivy wrapped around me and cinched the gown tightly. When I walked, their scent was released and became a natural perfume.

I bolted to the mirror and gasped at the pretty girl staring back at me. Though I was still as skinny as ever, my hair was caught up in a princess bun, and dozens of tiny baby’s-breath clippings were tucked into my hair. A wreath of it had also turned into a living necklace, which dangled prettily down my chest.

The gown came to my ankles. I had no shoes on, but I never much cared for them, and Dani knew it. Gasping, I twirled left and right then squealed, zipped toward Dani’s diminutive form, and yanked her to me, giving her tiny face a kiss.

“Yeck!” she cried, shoving me off her. “Girl drool!”

I giggled. “I don’t care what you say, I still love you.”

“Of course you do, doll.” She winked with fondness glowing in her blue eyes, even as she continued to rub at her cheeks with her wrist.

I pouted.

Danika rolled her eyes. “Of course I love you too, nutters. Now, are you ready to be presented?”

I grinned, patted my gown with shaky fingers one last time, and said, “Always.”

~*~

THE LAKE WAS FUN. MAMA and Papa had packed a lovely basket for us to share, Uncle Kelly had brought his girlfriend, and even Briley had invited a friend to the lake, a girl who smiled at him all the time. He smiled at her constantly too, and it was cute. I loved them together.

At first, everyone had seemed to be a bit on edge, which made me anxious. I would try to walk close to the water’s edge and there would be at least three of them surrounding me. If I turned to go down a path, suddenly everyone and their brother wanted to take a walk too. It’d felt stifling and annoying, and even Prince hadn’t been real happy about it. He’d growled at everyone—except me—at least once that day, and at Papa and Uncle Kelly more than once.

But as the day wore on, my family and friends had begun to laugh more frequently, until eventually no one was keeping an eagle eye on me all the time.

The sun wasn’t at its zenith, the temperatures had cooled a little from the earlier heat, and I felt restless. Plucking at the yellow petals of a woefully mangled-looking dandelion in my hand, I sighed. Prince, always seeming to understand my moods, looked up at me with a whining sort of question. What’s the matter?

I looked at his eyes, which burned through me as intelligently as my Papa’s would. I shrugged. “I feel restless today.”

He snuggled back into my lap, giving my fingers a tiny lick to let me know I could begin petting him again. I smiled despite my irritation. For a time the rhythmic motion of the waters lulled me, but as I gazed at the hidden lake and the spires of red rocky outcroppings that jutted up from the dark depths, I began to wonder.

Mama and Papa had only ever let me visit the hidden lake three times in my life, including that day. I wanted to climb the fat fingers of sediment and feel its cool smoothness rub beneath my hand, imagining that pirates and other dastardly sorts had hidden treasure in their strangely ornamental crevices. No matter how often I begged to go explore the strange formations, they’d never let me close enough. I cocked my head, squinting as a bright spot of light caught my eye. Not once had I ever seen anything that even remotely resembled a cave in the maze-like spires.

There was a flicker. My heart sped, and I hopped to my knees, causing Prince’s head to tumble to the ground with a hard plop. He huffed.

“Sorry. Sorry,” I mumbled but didn’t look down at him. He was okay. And there was definitely a flickering of light, radiant and golden.

Excited, feeling as though I’d just discovered something new and possibly even dangerous, I was on my feet before I was even aware I’d stood up.

Prince growled.

I shook my head. “I’m perfectly fine, Prince. Just looking.” As I spoke, I began walking. I could hear my family laughing and affectionately jeering at one another. None of them were paying me any mind, so I could explore. I could go and just check it out. My brain was nothing but questions. What is that flicker? What is the play of shadows and darkness I see the closer I draw to the rocky formations that sometimes make me think of Poseidon’s crown, with the way they pointed into the sky?

Prince was tugging on my gown, shaking his head from side to side.

“Stop it, Prince. Stop it,” I hissed and snatched my train away from him. “You’re going to rip it.”

Darkly intelligent eyes gazed back at me, and a low whining throbbed through his chest.

I wrinkled my nose. “Oh, stop being such a baby. There’s nothing scary in this lake. There aren’t even any fish, you big fluffy boy.” I started walking again, drawing closer to the grainy demarcation between the beach line and the grass. I licked my lips, my heart hammering violently in my chest. This was the closest I’d ever gotten to the outcroppings.

I chanced a glance over my shoulder. Mama was looking over at the spot where I’d been. I grimaced. She would find me soon, as exposed as I was. I jogged, trying to move faster before the inevitable happened. I just had to see what was making that light.

I was less than a step away from the beach when an unholy shriek sounded, making me clench my jaw and cringe.

“Shayera Madison Caron!” Mama yelled. “Don’t you dare take another step onto that dirty beach. You’ll ruin your gown.”

I stared at the powdery-fine granules of sand and frowned pitifully. I’d gotten so close .

“I said step back! Right this very instant.” Mama’s voice grew louder. She was coming for me.

Prince tugged on my gown once again.

It was my turn to growl. I moved him off me, feeling annoyed and even kind of betrayed. No doubt Mama had looked for me because she’d sensed Prince’s reticence. It was stupid of me to think, because Mama wasn’t a mind reader, but I was suddenly in a foul mood and didn’t care.

A second later, Mama’s fingers clamped tightly about my forearm, and she yanked me back away from the beach. Her face was set in a rigid line of displeasure. “I told you not to go onto the beach. Did I or did I not tell you that, Shayera?”

My shoulders slumped. I truly hated when Mama grew vexed with me. “Yes, Mama.”

“And you deliberately disobeyed me. Shayera, you don’t know how to swim—”

“I can too!”

“Not well enough,” she said with a hard shake of her head. But there was no anger in her words or written upon her face. Instead, there was pain and disappointment.

Anger would have fanned my own. But Mama’s disapproval cut me to the bone and had me wrapping my arms tightly around her middle. “I’m sorry, Mama. I just saw a light.”

“And you thought you’d go explore?” She sounded exasperated. But finally she rolled her eyes, pulled me in close to her body, and kissed the crown of my head. “What am I going to do with you, my wildling? By the gods, you’ll be the death of me someday.”

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

She sighed deeply, patted my back, and gently set me away so that she could lock gazes with me. “I’m sorry I startled you. But your safety is my number one priority above all else. Now”—she shucked my chin—“how about some cake?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling terribly close to tears. Prince crept up behind me, bumping his head against my lower back. I laced my fingers into the scruff of his neck. “Yes, Mama,” I said, forcing a smile. Though I could tell Mama knew I was bitterly disappointed, she said no more about it. Instead, she walked us back toward the picnic spot.

“Who wants cake?” she cried.

They all came running up to us, wearing big goofy smiles and clamoring, “Me! Me! Me!”

While they weren’t looking at me, I turned around to look at the beach, searching for the flickering light.

But it was gone.