“Stop fidgeting,” Selene said, glancing at Jason. The east-facing balcony was bathed in the warming light of sunrise but the calming effect of the blue skies and singing birds above seemed lost on him. His face gleamed with fresh sweat and he squirmed on the yoga mat as if he were sitting on a bed of nails.

A few days had passed since she’d found his trigger. He was stronger now. He could handle more. But the wolf was back this morning with a vengeance.

They’d been experimenting with intense exercise to work off the extra physical energy related to his vice, making use of his home gym several hours a day. But all the push-ups and miles on the treadmill hadn’t seemed to placate Jason’s wolf today. Clearly, he wanted sex. His entire body seemed to protest for it. Selene needed to find another way to help him.

“How is this supposed to work again?” he asked.

“Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and begin the mantra I taught you. Let it pull you down into deep meditation. It will help with your withdrawal symptoms.”

His shoulders slumped, his presence heavy beside her. “Every time I close my eyes, I see…”

“You see what?”

“I see myself attacking you, grabbing you by the throat, pushing you against the wall.”

Selene glanced toward the door. “Now? You’re fantasizing about this now?”

“No! I’m not fantasizing. I’m ashamed. That night, when I forced you to let me go to the bordello… You don’t want to be here any more than I do. You certainly don’t want my disgusting hands all over your body. Fuck.” He scrubbed his face, turning slightly away from her. “You don’t understand. I couldn’t help myself. What if I lose control again?”

There was a long stretch of silence. “Jason… Jason, look at me.” She reached over and tugged his chin so that he faced her, although his gaze remained focused on a segment of the balcony railing over her right shoulder. “When I took this assignment, I expected that your vice would take control at some point. I was prepared. You’re dealing with intense withdrawal. It’s to be expected.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m dangerous. I liked the feel of you against me. My skin is crawling with need.” He pushed off the mat and paced to the other side of the balcony. “What if it happens again and I can’t stop? After what you’ve been through in your past…” He shook his head.

“My past is in my past. You are not a part of that.” It was true that part of her still feared Jason on some level, and on an even deeper level, some part of her had enjoyed his touch. Saying either of those things out loud, however, wouldn’t help him get better or earn her a promotion to Preotka. She had to stay objective. “You know firsthand that I can defend myself. I knocked you on your ass for four days.”

“Yes.”

“Literally knocked you into tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

“I can do it again.”

“Please don’t.”

“The important thing is you didn’t try to slit my throat when you woke up. You were barely angry with me.”

“What good would it do to be angry at you for defending yourself from…” He pointed his hands at himself.

“That means, on some level you want to get better. You understand what we’re doing here and want to succeed.”

“Or I just feel disgusting for throwing myself at you.”

She moistened her lips. “You’re not disgusting,” she said. “You have a problem and we’re fixing it. That’s all. You won’t hurt me.”

A storm moved in behind Jason’s eyes, the color of his irises flashing from green to amber. He clung to the railing behind him with a white-knuckled death grip as if it were the only thing keeping him from attacking her. The darkness was back. He was a predator again.

“You don’t know what you do to me. Even now, I want to slide inside you, Selene. I want to feel the heat of your skin on my tongue. I want to run my hand up the inside of your thigh.” He looked her straight in the eye, and he seemed taller than a moment before. The intensity of his stare made her shiver. “Don’t tell me it’s okay. Tell me you understand the risks of being here and that you forgive me for wanting you.”

Chest tight, Selene held his gaze. She hoped the mild breeze masked her arousal as the images he painted in her brain quickened her breath. “I… I forgive you,” she said. “And I know it could happen again… but I don’t think it will. You can control this. What I’m teaching you today will help.”

For a long time, he simply stared at her, breathing. Slowly, his amber eyes turned green again. He lowered himself to the mat, crossed his legs, and straightened his spine.

“Close your eyes,” she said quietly. He did.

With a deep, cleansing breath, Selene centered herself. “Let’s try again.”

This time Jason got it right. The space beside her grew quiet and cool. His fidgeting stopped. Her ears lost the thump of his racing heart. But he’d need help to go deeper, to that place of healing she knew he must go. That’s where she came in.

Closing her eyes, she threaded her fingers into his, ignoring the way the touch of his hand sent a warm current of heat up her arm. He must have felt it too because his body stiffened. She began her mantra.

Meditation was a grounding force in Selene’s life, a way of centering herself that had saved her from the shame of being homeless and the shame of all the things she’d done to survive. It had helped her transition into the order and strengthened her mind. Desperately, she wanted to give Jason this tool to ease the suffering she’d seen in him. She reached out from her center, psychically surrounded him, and lowered him into that space between sleep and awake.

In that wide-open consciousness, color, emotion, and pure mindfulness were all that existed. The muddy-green color of his aura became palpable, clouding the pale blue of her own. Jason’s aura was dark, but at the heart of it, a spark of bright green burned, crystal clear and lit from within. This was what she was trying to save. This was Jason. The real Jason.

She gripped his hand tighter, her bright blue light coming to rest next to his bright green one. And that’s where she stayed. There was nothing sexual about the encounter, but there could be nothing more intimate. Her soul rested with his in a place beyond time or space. They revolved around each other, two stars orbiting, held in the other’s gravitational pull.

When it was time to kick off the bottom and float back to the real world, Selene had to do the kicking. She’d practiced this. It would take Jason time to learn to go this deep and know when it was time to come back to reality.

A deep breath drew into her lungs as she broke the surface. But when she turned to check on Jason, her breath hitched in her throat. His face was serene, all the fear, longing, and bitterness his body had held only moments ago replaced by a deep peace. He’d even stopped sweating.

She opened her hand, releasing his fingers. No tremors. No pain. No wanting. The muscles of his jaw were relaxed. She almost hated to bring him out of it, but the beneficial effects would diminish if he stayed where he was. Softly, she whispered his name, “Jason.”

* * *

He was safe. Safe and warm and cared for. There was no endless wanting, no bottomless pit of shame or ache of need. And the source of this serenity was in his hand, nestled between his fingers. Then it was gone.

Desperate to return to that place of peace, he tried to reach for the hand again. But she denied him. He opened his eyes. There was an angel hovering over him, a bright blue angel with the sunrise spilling through a curtain of her hair like liquid gold. For a moment, he lost himself in the connection they shared. Pure light poured into his heart and filled him. He wasn’t alone.

“Welcome back,” the angel said. Selene. Her name was Selene.

And then the blue faded and his hands began to shake again. His mouth went as dry as a stone. A muscle in his leg cramped to the point of pain, and a hardcore throb began between his temples as if a little man was building a railroad between his eyes.

“I need a drink.”

“How about an aspirin?” She held out her hand to help him up.

The corner of his mouth lifted and he shook his head. “I think I’d better get up on my own.” He avoided her touch as he stood.

She sighed and let him go.

* * *

Weeks later, Jason woke, knowing the full moon was just around the corner. It was a good thing he’d made slow and steady progress with Selene’s help, because his wolf would be close to the surface today. In two days, he’d have to endure the shift and face dozens of women he’d slept with at Rivergate. He’d thrown himself into his therapy with the same determination and fortitude he’d always devoted to his business. And he was healing. Controlling himself around Selene was getting easier, despite wanting her every minute of the day. They’d fallen into a kind of routine, a routine he could get used to.

This morning, as usual, he drifted to the coffee machine while Selene started chopping vegetables for omelets. He’d just filled the water reservoir when she said something that chilled him to the bone. “I think we should try aura manipulation again today.”

Aura manipulation. That’s what she’d done to him before, the thing that had almost killed him. His neck craned and his eyes locked onto hers. “Why? I thought you found the source of my vice the first time. If there’s something more, I sure as hell don’t know what it is.”

“My first time in your psyche, I was looking for the source of the darkness within you. This time, I want to look for the source of the light, an anchor you can hold onto if you feel like you might lose control. If you become aware of what strengthens your soul and you foster it, Nickelova’s curse won’t be able to take root in you. If she comes back, she won’t be able to control you.”

He switched on the coffee pot, then realized he’d forgotten to add coffee and switched it back off. As he pulled the ground beans from the pantry, he asked, “What if you can’t find any light in me? What if you drift down my lightbulb aisle and find nothing but an assortment of coal and cinders?”

She snorted. “You have light. I saw it while we were meditating. I just couldn’t see the source. It’s bright green. Your soul is beautiful.”

Jason stared at her for a moment. “Is yours blue?”

She nodded excitedly. “Yes! Yes. You saw it? That’s really good, Jason. The scrolls say that if you can sense someone’s aura you’re in the presence of the goddess herself. That type of meditation is as good as a prayer.”

“The goddess, huh.” He took a deep breath. “I never actually believed in the goddess. I’m still not sure there isn’t another explanation for what you do.”

“How do you explain how I saved you from the curse? I’m not a witch. My only power comes from my connection to the goddess through our religious order.”

His brow furrowed. “How did you lift my curse?”

“I didn’t lift it, exactly. I performed a ritual asking the goddess to transfer it into me.” She pointed at her chest.

“Then why aren’t you catatonic in bed like I was?”

“My training and lifestyle keep me pure. Nickelova’s curse was attached to your vice, but when I transferred it into me, there was no place for it to take root. It fizzled and died like a seed on concrete.”

“Your innocence saved you.”

“I told you last night, I’m not exactly innocent, but my way of life is powerful.”

“Virtue is powerful,” he murmured more to himself than to her. It had been a long time since he’d thought of the goddess or his place in the universe. What was it about Selene? Every moment he spent with her challenged him to be a better person. “Thank you for risking yourself for me.”

Selene blushed and turned toward the frying pan.

“Are you all right? Did I say something wrong?”

She plated the eggs. “Just fine. Let’s eat. I want to get started as soon as possible.”