Curtis had driven over to Trina’s a little earlier than usual, but it was mostly because he’d needed to think. He’d also tossed and turned all last night, worrying about Curtina and hoping Charlotte wasn’t drinking again. At one point, he’d thought about asking Charlotte, but if it turned out that he was accusing her of something she wasn’t doing, he knew it would mean trouble. Charlotte would become angry and defensive, and one thing would lead to another. And he didn’t want that. So instead of hanging around the house, he’d gotten up at three, worked out on the treadmill, showered, and slipped on a sweater and a pair of jeans. He’d left the house by six, and while he’d half expected Charlotte to ask him why he was leaving so early, she hadn’t. This also made him think that she was glad he’d be gone for the day, but on the other hand, she did now completely support his visits to Chicago to see his sister. So maybe he was just being paranoid.
Trina tried positioning herself in bed so that she wasn’t lying so far back, and Curtis added two more pillows to help her. For the past couple of weeks, she’d been getting up and spending most of her time in the family room, but today she’d wanted to stay in her pajamas—today, she not only looked weak, she was exhausted, and the circles around her eyes were much darker. Curtis had only missed three days of seeing her, yet her health seemed to have turned for the worse in that short period of time. Her blood pressure was dropping, and her bladder wasn’t producing much output, which meant her organs were slowly shutting down. So much so that Denise had advised Jason that it might not be long before Trina would need hospice services. Curtis hadn’t wanted to hear that kind of news and neither had Jason, but Jason had still decided that today would be his last day of work for a while. He was even planning to get off earlier than usual.
“So what did you think of the chapter I asked you to read?” Trina asked.
“I thought it was good.”
“Then have you considered going to Dad’s grave site to forgive him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But I’d need to come to terms with quite a few more things before I do.”
“Like what?” she said, covering her mouth and coughing.
“Well, for one thing, why didn’t Mom protect me from Dad? Why didn’t she take us out of that madness? And why did Dad take all of his anger out on me? Why was I the only one who got beaten? Why didn’t he beat Mom? Because most men who beat their children always beat their wives and girlfriends.”
Trina stared at him. “I know why. And the only reason I’ve debated telling you is because I’ve been so afraid it would hurt you even more and make you angrier than you already are.”
Curtis couldn’t imagine what was so bad that Trina didn’t want to tell him, but he wanted to know what it was. He needed to know what it was. “Just go ahead and tell me. It’ll be fine.”
Trina sighed. “Remember when Daddy used to say to Mom all the time that she’d better be glad he didn’t believe in hitting women or she’d be a dead woman?”
“I remember every word.”
“Yeah, well, truth is, Uncle Bradley made Daddy not believe in hitting women.”
Curtis scrunched his forehead. “How?”
“Before you were born, even while Mom was carrying you, Daddy would beat her, and then when I was born and you were two years old, he beat her so badly that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Both her eyes were swollen shut, and she had bruises all over her body. And that’s when Uncle Bradley and one of his friends came to the house and beat Daddy nearly to death. They left him for dead, and he ended up being in the hospital for a lot longer than Mom. He was there for three weeks.”
“And Mom told you all of this?”
Trina coughed again a couple of times. “Yes. She wanted me to know what life was really like for her, and then she apologized for bringing you and me into a violent situation we didn’t ask for.”
“Gosh, I hate that she had to go through that. And now I’m even sorrier for not seeing her for so many years. There’s still something I don’t understand, though.”
“What’s that?”
“Why he stopped beating her.”
“He stopped because Uncle Bradley told him that if he ever saw another bruise, cut, or anything on Mom ever again, he would kill him. He would shoot him dead and then turn himself in to the police.”
“Yeah, but Thomas Black was crazy. So it’s hard for me to believe he just up and stopped abusing Mom simply because someone threatened him.”
“Well, according to Mom, he did. He was really afraid of Uncle Bradley, but Mom also said that she believed it was more about Daddy’s ego, too. By saying that he didn’t believe in hitting women, that made him feel like it was his decision not to hit Mom instead of it being because he was afraid of his brother-in-law. Daddy would never have wanted to be seen as a coward. Not when he was so used to being a bully who controlled everybody. And to be honest, I think Daddy was bipolar. And then by the time we were older, his illness had gotten much worse, which made him more violent than he’d ever been.”
Curtis wasn’t sure he believed that theory. “Mmm, I don’t know about that.”
“You said yourself he was crazy, but I think he had real mental issues, because Mom told me that right after Uncle Bradley and his friend beat him up, he tried to change. He even went to see a doctor and started taking medicine. And it was the only time he treated her like he loved her. But after a few months, he told her that he didn’t like the way those ‘crazy pills’ made him feel, and he threw them out. And, of course, all the drinking started up again. But then instead of beating Mom, he took his frustrations out on her in a whole other way.”
“How?”
“He raped her whenever he felt like it. And she let him, because she didn’t want us to know about it. She never screamed or did anything. She just let him rape her for all those years.”
Curtis felt as though he was having an out-of-body experience. “This is totally insane.”
“I know, but at least it explains why Mom couldn’t leave. She was terrified of Daddy, and she was also afraid that if Uncle Bradley ever found out that Daddy was beating you, he would kill him and end up in prison. So that’s why she never wanted him to know. She said she went out of her way to keep everything hidden from Uncle Bradley.”
Curtis stared at Trina but didn’t respond to what she’d just told him.
“I know this is a lot to take in, but you’re never going to be okay until you forgive Daddy,” she told him. “And Mom, too, because I know as a parent, you still feel like she should have protected you before protecting Daddy or Uncle Bradley. But, Curtis, Mom had battered wife syndrome. I know that doesn’t make up for what happened to you, but she did.”
Curtis heard what his sister was saying, but he still didn’t speak. The reason: He didn’t have words, and he could barely believe what Trina had just shared with him. But what stood out more than anything else was the fact that his mom had been raped repeatedly by his father. The man had raped his own wife and thought nothing of it. He’d terrorized all of them, Curtis, Trina and their mother, and now after all these years, Curtis was still suffering the consequences. He was still hurting like a small child, and he wondered when he would finally get over it. When he would finally be able to leave his past where it belonged and focus on all the blessings God had given him as an adult. Although, sadly, as he looked at his sister, he was reminded of how ill she was and how when she died, he would find himself feeling more pain than he already was. His childhood trauma had been one thing, but losing his sister was the kind of devastating loss that he just wasn’t ready for.