Curtis wondered how many more times he’d be able to visit his sister. He wasn’t giving up on God, because he would never do that, but the human side of him couldn’t stop thinking, What if? What if God’s will was different from his and the rest of his family’s? What if Trina’s time on earth was nearly complete? Yes, it was true that God never caused tragedy, suffering, or even death, and that this was all the work of the enemy, but He still had a certain will and destiny for every one of his children. God also didn’t cause harm to anyone, however, He did allow certain things to happen—even if we didn’t always understand the reason.
And there was another truth that Curtis thought about, too: Every person born into this world would in fact die one day. There was no getting around it, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to change it. Of course, none of us knew exactly when our time here would be up, but at some point, it would be, and it was best to be ready. It was important to have your life in order, just as he’d always told his congregation—just the way Trina had talked about herself only two days ago.
Curtis relaxed more comfortably into the seat of his SUV, took a deep breath, and continued down I-90 east, heading to see his sister. But just as he reached to turn up the volume of his radio, his phone rang.
He smiled when he saw that it was his father-in-law. “Good morning, Joe, how are you?”
“I’m good, Curtis, what about you?”
“Hanging in there.”
“I’m glad to hear it, and I’m very sorry to hear about your sister. Noreen talked to Charlotte and told me what was going on. Such a shame.”
“I know. It really was the last thing I was expecting to hear.”
“I’m sure. And there’s nothing they can do?”
“I don’t think so. She’s had a number of treatments, but she’s decided not to try anything else. So, at this point, what we need is a miracle. We need God to save her life.”
“Well, Noreen and I have already been praying, and we’ll continue.”
“I really appreciate that. Prayers are what we need from everyone.”
“Indeed. Okay, then, I won’t hold you. Just wanted to let you know that we’re thinking about you.”
“Thank you, and I or Charlotte will keep you posted on how Trina is doing. I’m actually on my way to see her now.”
“Sounds good. And you be safe out there on the road.”
“I will. Talk to you soon.”
“Take care now, and I love you, son.”
“I love you, too,” Curtis said, pressing the Off button…and feeling emotional. At first, he wasn’t sure why, but then he realized it was because of how far he and Joe had come.
Over the years, so much had happened—some truly awful scenarios—and it was amazing just how drastically their relationship had changed for the better. For one, Joe no longer hated Curtis, and he loved him like a son. Yes, Curtis was only ten years younger than him, which was the reason he couldn’t bring himself to call Joe “Dad,” but Curtis loved him, too, and respected him like a father. This certainly hadn’t always been the case, though, as there had been a time when Curtis had disliked Joe just as much as Joe had disliked him. But Curtis knew he’d been completely in the wrong, and that Joe hadn’t felt the way he had without reason.
Curtis still cringed at the idea that he’d gotten Charlotte pregnant when she’d only been seventeen and while he’d been married to Tanya. For a long time, he’d tried to tell himself that he hadn’t committed a crime—no matter how many times Joe had threatened to have him arrested if he didn’t end all contact with Charlotte and Matthew. But what Curtis had eventually learned was that while Illinois law considered seventeen to be the legal age for consensual sex, this didn’t hold true for offenders who held a position of authority or trust over the victim—such as a coach, teacher, and yes, a church leader. For them, the legal age was eighteen. So there was no denying the fact that Curtis had committed a crime. He’d slept with a minor, and what no one knew was that the thought of it always made him sick to his stomach. He’d apologized profusely to Charlotte and her parents many times, but his actions still bothered him. All three of them had forgiven him, yet he sometimes couldn’t fathom the legion of terrible things he’d done so many years ago. It was the reason he now begged people to do right by others. To do the right thing no matter what. To live according to God’s Word daily. He knew most everyone had done something in the past that they were ashamed of, but what he wanted them to know more than anything was that there was always a chance to turn things around. He wanted them to see that change was always an option. That even if it took them a while to make things right, there was no time limit on doing so.
Curtis drove the rest of the way in deep thought, listening to gospel music, and before he knew it, he was pulling into Jason and Trina’s driveway. When he saw that Jason’s SUV was still parked in the garage, he got a little nervous. Still, he left his vehicle, walked up to the front door, hoping for the best, and rang the doorbell.
Jason opened the door almost immediately. “Good morning, Curtis.”
“Good morning,” he said, hugging his brother-in-law. “I expected you to already be at work.”
“Normally I would be, but Denise wasn’t able to come today. Her daughter isn’t feeling well, and it sounds like a bad case of the flu.”
“Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I do have a couple of afternoon meetings, though, so if you don’t mind, can you stay until I get back?”
“Absolutely. You don’t even have to ask.”
“Thanks, man. I shouldn’t be gone past five or six.”
“Take all the time you need. Charlotte knew I was planning to stay most of the day anyway, so we’re good.”
“Denise should be back tomorrow, but if she isn’t I’ll just plan on taking the day off.”
Curtis followed Jason down the hallway. “No, definitely not. I can drive back over tomorrow, and Friday, too, if need be. All you have to do is tell me.”
Jason stopped and turned around. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. I want to spend as much time here as I can, and if I’m able to help you out in the process, that’s even better.”
Jason swallowed hard, and Curtis could tell he was fighting back tears. “You have no idea how much this means.”
Curtis patted his shoulder and spoke a little quieter. “I know this is hard, but I’m here for you. I’m here for all of you, and don’t you forget that.”
Jason nodded and continued toward the master bedroom. The door was already open, so he and Curtis walked in.
“Well, sweetie,” Jason said to Trina, who was sitting in bed against a stack of pillows, “I’m about to head down to the office.”
She smiled. “Okay. And hey, Curtis.”
“Hey, sis.”
Jason kissed his wife on the lips. “I’ll check in with both of you in a couple of hours.”
“Sounds good,” Curtis told him.
“Oh, and if either of you get hungry, there’s a dish of lasagna in the fridge. Amber made it last night before she went home.”
“Okay,” Curtis said, and soon he heard Jason leaving.
“So you just can’t stay away, I guess, huh?” Trina teased.
Curtis leaned down and hugged her. “Nope, which means you’re stuck with me. Like it or not.”
“Sounds to me like you’re trying to be the boss of me again. You know, the way you thought you were when we were kids.”
Curtis sat down in the plush brown recliner next to the bed. “I didn’t think anything. I knew I was the boss of you.”
“Yeah, whatever. Think what you want.”
“You know it’s true. Especially when all those knucklehead boys thought they were going to date you.”
“Don’t remind me. You scared off every boy I liked. And for no reason.”
“Big brothers are supposed to protect their little sisters, and I was no different.”
Trina shook her head. “You were terrible. You acted like you were my dad or something.”
“Somebody had to,” Curtis said, and immediately regretted his comment.
Trina looked at him with sad eyes. “Yeah, I know.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him up, and from now on I’m going to try my best not to.”
“No, it’s fine. Because maybe talking about him and our childhood will help you get past all the pain you’re still dealing with. I have pain, too, but I’ve forgiven Daddy. I forgave him a long time ago, because if I hadn’t, it would have killed me. And do you want to know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I had so much animosity toward you, too, and I couldn’t handle despising two people at the same time. Two people who I loved…and almost hated.”
“I’ll never be able to make up for that, and I’m sorry. I wish I’d done things differently, but I couldn’t see past my own feelings. I didn’t think about you or Mom or how it would affect both of you.”
“I already told you that I’ve forgiven you. And Mom forgave you many years before she died. At the time, I just couldn’t, but now that I’m a mother I understand how unconditional her love was for her children. She couldn’t stay mad at you or blame you for leaving.”
“I will always regret not coming to see her. The last few years of her life, I sent her monetary gifts, but I remember when you told me the day of the funeral that she never spent any of it. And that she saved all of it for Alicia, Matthew, and your children.”
“She still loved the fact that you thought about her on all the special days of the year. At the time, it made me angry, but she was always happy when your cards came in the mail.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that when she died. But I just couldn’t. I couldn’t tell you anything that might give you peace about walking out of our lives the way you did.”
“I understand. You had every right to feel the way you did.”
“But thank God, I’m finally past those feelings. I know it’s likely only because I became ill, but better late than never, right?”
“Exactly.”
“And as much as I know you might not want to hear this, Curtis, you’re going to have to forgive Dad.”
Curtis looked at her and then away. Partly because he knew she was right, and partly because he could never see himself doing that. The man had beaten him more times than he could remember, and in order to forgive him, Curtis would have to relive everything. It was bad enough that his conversations with Trina were dredging up painful memories and opening raw wounds, but to have to face his whole childhood and then forgive a monstrous father? He just couldn’t see it. He knew not forgiving every single person in your life, dead or alive, went against God’s Word, but…
“I know how hard it’ll be, but I really think it’s best,” Trina said. “And you’ll feel so much better when you do. You’ll be free. Just like I am, now that I’ve forgiven you.”
Curtis heard what his sister was saying, and although he couldn’t imagine doing any of what she was suggesting, he nodded anyway. He led her to think that he agreed with her, and all he could hope was that she wouldn’t bring this up again. Especially when he wasn’t planning to forgive their father—ever.