Chapter Twenty-Four
Unsure how long they lay there, bodies still joined in the aftermath, it wasn’t until Heath stirred and lifted his weight from her that she noticed the cold. Then it came with a rush, chilling her damp skin. Too preoccupied with Heath, she hadn’t cared about the lack of a fire in the vacant house. As he withdrew from her body, she lost the rest of his heat and shivered.
“Let’s get you covered up,” he murmured. As he helped her up, her skirts fell around her and his fingers quickly fastened the buttons of her blouse. Once he was done, he closed her wool coat and began to button it, though he did it blindly as his head dipped for a kiss.
“So, which do you prefer, darlin’? Slow and steady, where we take our time to savor every movement and sensation, or fast and frantic, with an urgency that takes your breath away?”
She blinked up at him as her face flamed. His candid manner about their intimacy never failed to amaze her. No longer a timid virgin, she urged herself to get over it and met his eyes directly. “Both. Fast or slow doesn’t matter because being with you always takes my breath away.”
His slow smile was her reward for being straightforward and truthful, as well as the tender yet smoldering kiss that followed. They didn’t come up for air for several minutes and when they did, he hugged her tight. “I was frantic with worry today, sweetheart. I love you, but if you put me through something like this again, your butt will feel the business end of my belt. Understand?”
Shocked, she pushed back in his arms until she could see his face. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes. I don’t want to be severe, but your bottom will continue to pay the price until you learn to be more mindful of your safety.”
“No, I didn’t mean that,” she redirected, her head shaking furiously. “I was referring to the other.”
He cocked his head sideways, obviously replaying his words. Too impatient to wait for him to figure it out, she demanded, “You said you love me, Heath Jackson. Did you mean it?”
It was his turn to show surprise as his brows arched high. “After what we just shared, you have to ask?”
“Yes.” Her hands came up to cup his face, holding his beard-roughened cheeks. “I’ve never heard those words from any man before, so how am I supposed to know?”
“Do you think I’d traipse all over town with a snowstorm brewing, or give a damn what you were up to on Sixth Street, or wear out your behind as a lesson if I didn’t love and care for you?”
“Yes. That’s just it,” she exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. “From what I’ve seen of you Jacksons, you’d help a woman in need, however you could. Whether by rescuing a soiled dove from two idiots at the Red Eye or marrying a woman to save her and her brother, and their family farm. And I recall you wearing out my behind before we got married, so how was I to know I was special?”
“Do you think I go around spanking women I don’t care about?”
“I don’t know, do you?”
“Jenny.” Her name came out in a growl as his gaze narrowed.
“Oh, alright, of course I don’t think you do.”
“Then what foolishness is this? I show you every single day that you’re loved.”
“But you’ve never said those words before today,” she shot back.
“Actions speak more than three little words, darlin’. I kiss you before I leave you every morning, and upon my return each evening. Except for the one where you were plotting an annulment, there hasn’t been a night since I made you mine that I haven’t held you in my arms and loved you breathless.”
“That shows you want me. That’s a commodity I saw easily bought for a price at the Red Eye and can be had at any other brothel on Sixth Street.” She knew it was a mistake, but too late, her ill-considered words had already slipped out.
His face darkened and his voice filled with indignation. “Since you were innocent when you came to me and haven’t experienced the coldness of sex without love and affection, I’ll tell you that there is definitely a difference and that it’s not something that can be bought for any price upstairs at a saloon.”
Seeing the hurt in his deep brown eyes, Jenny felt two inches tall. She lowered her gaze to his chin. “I’m sorry. That was tactless and insensitive. It’s only that I know you are a good, kind, generous man, Heath, selfless to a fault, in fact. Forgive me for thinking you would do every one of those things, even if you didn’t care for me, because that’s the kind of man you are.”
“Good God, woman! I’m neither a martyr nor a saint.” His head fell back and he gazed at the ceiling, speaking as if to himself. “It amazes me how women twist things around in their heads.” Heath’s chin lowered an instant later and he tugged her close, until their noses nearly brushed. “I love you, Jenny, more than I ever thought I could love a woman, but if showing you can’t convince you and telling you doesn’t do it, I’m at a loss to what will. Hell, we’re sitting here arguing after I’ve come hard inside you. What do you think that was about—self-sacrifice?”
She bowed her head, allowing his words to sink in as she tried to blink back her tears. When she answered, her voice had softened, almost to a whisper. “I love you too, Heath. I have since the first time I saw you when I was eleven. I guess I dreamed it for so long, not believing it would ever be possible, that I’ve started making up reasons for it not to be true.” The dam of tears burst as she flung her arms around his neck. “I’m an idiot.”
She thought she heard him grumble ‘women’ in exasperation before his arms closed around her, holding her tight as he patiently waited while she cried a river of tears against his chest. It seemed to go on forever, until finally he shushed her.
“Darlin’, you’ll make yourself sick.”
“I can’t believe I acted so foolish. Of all times, after you told me you loved me for the first time, ever.” Shudders racked her body as she tried to catch her breath and calm herself. She accepted his handkerchief and mopped up her face. “Please, don’t be mad at me for being so stupid.”
“I’m not mad, but I will be if you keep calling yourself stupid or an idiot. You’re far from it. You simply need to start making better choices.”
“I’ll work on that.” She cuddled against his chest, enjoying the feel of his strong arms. “Heath?”
“Mm-hm?” His distracted response came as his lips explored the skin above her collar and behind her ear.
“Although I enjoy you showing me, if it’s all right, can you give me those words every now and then? A girl needs to hear them, especially one like me, who’s not well versed in reading a man’s clues.”
“You’ll hear them every day,” he vowed as his lips brushed hers. “I love you, Jennifer Lynn Jackson. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I think I started falling for you the day at Ivinson’s when that tower of flour bags almost flattened you.”
“I don’t want to think about that day. I was mortified.”
“You were as cute as a bug’s ear, surrounded by a cloud of flour and all befuddled. You skedaddled out of there as if your tail was on fire, leaving a trail of destruction in your wake. Our paths kept crossing after that, like at the dance. I’ll never forget how beautiful you looked that night, and so grown up.”
“I heard you tell Marion that you were only being nice by dancing with a family friend.”
“You little hypocrite,” he chuckled. “You eavesdropped. Don’t be fussing at Will for doing as you do.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
His lips were at her ear when he whispered, “I lied,” soft and low.
“You said you never lie.”
“I wasn’t aware I was at the time. I was the one being stupid back then, thinking you were too young, but that was a lie too. You scared me, darlin’, straight down to the tips of my Rios. I thought I had my life planned out, and then a pretty little redhead with green eyes kept popping up, getting into one scrape after another. Soon, she was under my skin, but I didn’t want her to be. It soon changed.”
“You became quite high-handed like when you spanked me in the middle of the street or in my own kitchen with that breadboard,” she accused.
He pulled back, grinning down at her. “How could I resist? You were full of sass and your naughty rump desperately needed my attention.”
“I was so mad at you. I convinced myself not to love you ever again. Then you helped me with ma, and the farm, and got me out of that mess with Eugene. Before I knew it, I was head over heels right back in love with you.”
“I convinced myself for two years that you weren’t for me.”
“What do you mean, two years? The incident at Ivinson’s was just a few months ago.”
“I started falling in love with you then, but I fell in lust with you well before that.”
“In lust?” She sounded like a parrot, but was having a hard time focusing with his lips brushing against hers as he spoke.
“Yes,” he breathed as he moved his mouth along her jaw. “You were wearing a navy blue dress clear up to your chin, but you bent over to hug old Mrs. Forsythe and the material hugged your hips and rational thought flew clear out of my head. I couldn’t keep myself from imagining what your behind looked like beneath the annoying bustle you were wearing.”
“Old Mrs. Forsythe died almost two years ago, Heath.”
“Mm-hm,” he murmured as he spread kisses along the side of her neck.
“And I never saw her except in church.”
“That’d be right too.” His mouth found her ear and became quite distracting as his tongue teased around the shell, his breath warm and heavy.
Her eyes popped open wide. “Are you telling me you lusted after me in church?”
“Yep.”
“Heath, that’s…”
“Purely unholy… blasphemous… downright sinful?” He punctuated his words with little nibbles along her neck, spurring her own lust even though only minutes before he’d brought her to climax. “I was prepared to be smote for my impure thoughts right there where I sat. But I couldn’t help it. When I saw gorgeous red-gold hair atop a curvy body, and nicely rounded hips that made my mouth water, I got sucked into a fantasy right there in the sanctuary while sitting next to my mother. It was quite uncomfortable.”
“What did you fantasize about?”
“Bending you over the back of a pew, bare ass naked, and spanking you for making me hard in church.”
“Heath!” She cried and laughed at the same time.
“I sat there forever, staring up at your profile in the gallery. You were every bit as distracting from that angle. I had to leave out of there with my Stetson covering my fly. So clearly I’ve had you on my mind for a very long time and not as a child, as a woman.”
The hand threaded in her hair gave a gentle tug until her head fell back, giving him free access to her throat. His breath tickled her skin lightly as he spoke. “It’s funny how life and love interfere with our plans. If I knew then what I know now—how sweet, generous, and loving you are, or that you burn hotter than blue fire in my arms—I’d have given Sheldon and Charles a run for their money or followed you around like lovesick Jed Boyd, begging for your attention.”
“The way I followed you around lovesick for years. Poor Jed never had a chance. Everyone knew I loved you.”
“Except me. From the way you were tagging along after Aaron all the time, I thought you had a crush on him.”
“I followed Aaron because he was always following you.”
He smirked. “Maybe I am obtuse, after all. You turned into a woman right before my eyes and I didn’t notice.” His hand cupped a full breast, molding it to his palm. As his thumb slid across the firm peak, he added, “I’m not confused about you being full-grown any longer, sweetheart. Trust me on that.”
As her blush spread across her face and up to her ears where the heat nearly singed the tips, she buried her face in his chest to hide it, but quickly jerked away, finding the cloth cold and damp. “I soaked your collar with my blubbering.”
“It’ll dry soon enough.” He glanced at the drapery-covered windows. Her eyes followed. It was unusually dark in the room with evening yet a few hours away. “We better get going. It’s getting dark early tonight with the storm.”
With one last kiss, Heath stepped away. Taking one look at her hat, he tossed it aside and returned with only her scarf and gloves.
“My hat!”
“That frilly bit of nonsense is not a hat.” He then covered her head with her woolen scarf, crossed it beneath her chin and coiled the length around her neck. The fringed ends, he tucked inside her collar. She thought about comparing him to his pa, but the caring way he helped her get ready for the cold ride home had her melting.
As she tried to keep from throwing herself in his arms and begging him to take her again, she busied herself with her gloves instead. Her eyes kept drifting to Heath, staring as he shrugged his broad shoulders into his heavy winter coat. His overlong hair lay dark against the sheepskin collar and even with the bulky fleece lining, the leather hugged his long body, outlining it nicely to where it ended at mid-thigh. Lips gone dry, she licked them as his long fingers combed the hair back off his forehead and settled his black Stetson on his head.
Their eyes met, his gleaming with humor having caught her staring. She took a deep breath to steady her racing heart and without thought, licked her lips again. His eyes dipped to her mouth and his smile faded. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight.
“Keep doing that and those lips will be chapped.”
Her gloved fingers rose, touching her mouth gently. “From the cold?”
“From my kisses,” he growled before his mouth hungrily claimed hers. It was hot, thorough, and over too quickly. Giving her a last cursory glance, he flipped up her collar and adjusted her scarf to cover her face. With a hum of approval, he pulled her along to the front door and flung it wide. They both stared in amazement. At least three inches of snow had fallen in the hour or so they’d been in the house.
“Papa has a cutter in the back of the barn.” She eyed Heath’s chestnut stallion tied to the front rail. Snow dusted his dark mane and tail, sitting inches deep on Heath’s saddle. “Is Baron up for the task?”
“He’s done it before. Stay here and keep warm while I hitch him up to the sleigh.”
“It’s as cold in the house as it is outside, honey.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t want your feet getting wet. It might take us a bit longer to get home in the snow.”
“I could start a fire and warm some bricks.”
“Find more blankets instead. It won’t take me long to hook up the sleigh.” Pressing a kiss to her temple, he hurried down the steps and led Baron toward the barn.