Chapter Twelve
The Christ mass revels had come and gone and William was now truly the King of England. The coronation had taken place on the day of Christ’s birth. It had been a moving sight for Broc, to finally see William’s dreams realized. All had culminated in the placing of the crown onto his head. That was what they had all fought for, to see this day come to be.
To get the Saxons to more readily accept him as their king, William had used the ancient English rites. He had only made a few changes to it, thinking of his Norman nobles. All went smoothly, and no one could deny William his throne.
With some misgivings, Broc was on the road, heading to Elmstead. It would be interesting to see the boy’s reaction at the sight of him arriving with the others who traveled with him. He looked over his shoulder at the four people who followed him. His betrothed was among them. She was Lady Alwen, a Saxon lady, whose father had been the Earl of Essex. Her father, Lord Theodoric, rode beside her with two of his men acting as guards.
Broc had met the lady and her father while at court. The earl had found accommodations in London shortly after losing his lands to another. Once settled, he promptly wormed his way into William’s good graces.
The man disgusted Broc. In his middle years, Theodoric looked his age. His brown hair had thinned and was cut quite close to his head. He might have been well-built during his youth, but he had let his body go to fat. It was not too hard for Broc to guess Theodoric had taken full advantage of his high status. The man’s eyes always looked red and puffy from too much drink.
Lady Alwen was nothing like her father. In fact, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even prettier than the Saxon girl, and that was the only reason Broc had chosen her for his wife. She would give him beautiful children, and not much else could be said about her.
The lady’s blonde hair fell in waves down her back. Her eyes were blue, but not as blue as the other Saxon girl’s. She had skin so white Broc figured she never allowed the sun’s rays to touch it.
Alwen gave him a shy smile. Broc quickly looked away. He had no love for the lady and probably never would. She would only serve one purpose. All he expected of her was to bear him children and take care of his home. He wanted nothing more. They were to be married at Elmstead after they arrived. He wanted to get it over with as soon as he could.
William had given his consent to the marriage, but Broc had sensed his friend had not been too pleased with his choice of bride. He had gone as far as to say Broc would be miserable if he went through with it. He warned Broc life at Elmstead would be turbulent with Lady Alwen in residence. He still had no idea what William had meant.
Up ahead, Elmstead came into view. Broc kicked his horse into a canter to step up the pace. Without looking back, he knew the others would keep up.
* * * *
Ariel stepped out of the main hall as Broc charged through the village with four strangers following him. After all the horses came to a halt in the yard, only then did she realize a woman was among the strangers.
Broc went to the woman and helped her dismount. She was very beautiful. From the way she smiled at him, her appearance heralded changes at Elmstead. He took the girl by the hand and led her to Ariel. She wanted to run, but it wouldn’t change the inevitable.
“I am glad you are here, Wulf. It will save me the time in sending for you. I would like to introduce you to Lady Alwen, my betrothed.”
At those two words, my betrothed, Ariel felt as if Broc had slammed his fist into her stomach. “Nice to meet you. When is the wedding to take place?”
Broc smiled at Alwen. “Just before the evening meal, tonight.”
He was slowly killing her, and Broc had no idea what his words were doing to her. “Well, I will leave you. You have much to do before the ceremony.”
Broc stopped Ariel from making a quick retreat. “There is one more thing, Wulf. I have chosen you to act as my witness to the marriage. I will expect you at the hall.” She tried to refuse, but he would not allow it. “You have no say in the matter. I am your lord, and you will do as I wish.”
Ariel gave way and nodded. She roughly brushed past him and then stomped to her father’s hall.
* * * *
Swein found her there a little while later. Ariel paced the floor, cursing Broc one moment and wailing in anguish the next.
“You can stop the marriage, Ariel.”
Ariel stopped her pacing and looked at her father. Her eyes showed how much Broc had hurt her. “I will not do it.”
“Then you will watch the man you love marry another.”
His daughter silently started to cry. He wanted to go to her and hold her, but right now, she had to get her emotions under control. She tried to pull herself together as she took a deep breath and lifted her head.
“I made a vow never to tell Broc. No matter how much he means to me, I will not stop the marriage.”
Swein nodded. “It would be a blessing if you did tell him. His betrothed will only make problems for Elmstead.”
“Why? She looks harmless enough.”
“Aye, she is. You left before you saw who her father is. It is Theodoric, Earl of Essex. Well, at least he used to be.”
Ariel gasped. She had seen Theodoric’s cruelty to others firsthand during the summer. She had found him revolting, to say the least. His presence at Elmstead boded ill for both of them.
* * * *
At the time specified by Broc, Ariel returned to the main hall. He watched her every move. Letting him know she would not be intimidated by him, she stared back.
“You can stare at him all you want, but Broc will still marry the girl.”
Ariel tore her gaze from Broc and turned to look at Ranulf. “I know. He was the one watching me. I do believe Broc thought I would go against his wishes.”
He gave her a sad look. “Can you go through with it?”
Ariel lightly shrugged. “Of course. I am not a coward. Besides, I have no choice in the matter.”
A look of pity washed over Ranulf’s face, but it quickly became replaced with rage. “How could he do this to you? Has he no feelings? He must be able to see what you actually are.”
Deep down inside Ariel asked herself those very things, but what good would it do. “That is exactly the problem when it comes to Broc—he does not see. He probably never will. It just shows how much our short time together had meant to him.”
Ranulf took a step closer. He moved so he was a mere inch away, then lowered his voice so only she heard what he said. “If it had been me, I would never have forgotten. Ariel, you need not be alone. I would be proud to have you as my wife.”
At first, Ariel didn’t know what to say. To be truthful, she could not find much wrong with Ranulf. He was virile and handsome. The fault lay with her. She was just not ready to accept another man in her life.
“I cannot accept your offer, at least not yet. I can tell you one thing that will never change. I will never go back to what I once was. I am as much a knight as you are. I will not give that up for any man.”
Ranulf bent his head so he could whisper into her ear. “I would have you any way you choose. I have seen you fight. You might be better than I. It is in your blood. I would be a fool to make you give it up. It would only drive you away.”
Before she could answer, a hand grabbed Ranulf by the neck and roughly pushed him away from Ariel. She knew who it was without even looking. Broc stood where Ranulf had been a moment before. His eyes practically shot sparks. If Broc had the ability to kill with a stare, Ranulf would have been a dead man. Once more her temper rose to the surface. Lately, the most prominent emotion he elicited from her was rage.
“Leave Ranulf alone. You have no rights over him.”
That only made Broc’s eyes flash sparks in her direction. “So it would seem, but the same cannot be said for you. It is time. Come with me now.”
Tamping down her fury, Ariel silently followed Broc to the dais where a priest, Lady Alwen, and her father waited. After reaching the others, Broc took Alwen’s hand, and the priest started to say the words that would bind them together.
With each word the priest spoke, Ariel’s rage turned to despair. When the couple kissed to seal their vows, she felt the sensation of drowning in a deep dark lake wash over her. It killed any hopes she had of one day sharing her life with Broc. Now it was too late.
After signing her male name to the marriage document, Ariel sat on a bench next to Ranulf. She felt completely numb.
Once the newly-married couple sat, the serfs served a lavish meal. None of it passed Ariel’s lips. Afterward, she would not even remember what had been served. A full goblet was all that mattered. She never once looked at the raised dais where Broc sat with his bride.
The time for the bedding approached, and Lady Alwen left the hall with some of the village women. They took her to Broc’s chamber where she would be prepared to receive her husband. He did not even look up when she stood to leave. The two guards who had come with his now father-in-law came to stand on either side of the bridegroom’s chair. They had to gain his attention by giving his shoulder a tap. He jerked and turned to look up at one of the men.
“Come, my lord. It is time for you to join your new bride in your chamber.”
At the man’s words, Broc drank a whole goblet of mead practically in one gulp. He tried to stand and failed. In the end, the two men had to each take one of his arms and half carry him to his chamber.
* * * *
With a flick of her wrist, Alwen dismissed the village women. They had disrobed her and then helped her into her husband’s bed. She had no further use of them. She had only allowed them that close because there were no other women of her class available. Now she waited for her husband.
It had been unbelievably easy to hook Broc St. Ceneri. Almost too easy, if the truth was told. For some unknown reason, he seemed to need her. Theirs would not be a love match, by any means, but she found her husband attractive and counted herself lucky to even have that.
The chamber door crashed open. Her father’s men dragged Broc into the room and then roughly dumped him onto the bed beside her. Without a backward glance, they left her alone with her new husband.
A person would have had to be blind not to see Broc had managed to drink himself into a stupor during the meal. Only Alwen had not realized how much he had consumed. It had to have been a great quantity for him to be in such a state. Looking at him, she found him asleep and dead to the world.
* * * *
A week had gone by since Broc had brought his bride to Elmstead, and life was a far cry from being normal. The presence of the former overlord and his men made everyone jumpy. The biggest problem was worrying over Theodoric. He was not making any preparations to leave.
The days after the marriage Ariel found to be exceedingly hard. Having to watch Broc take his vows had made her come to grips with how she felt about him. She had started to fall for him during her training. Her feelings for him had not changed, no matter how many times she told herself he meant nothing to her. Now it was too late to tell him. Every night, in the privacy of her own chamber, she mourned her lost chance.
If Ranulf had not been such a steadying force in her life, Ariel probably would have run from Elmstead. The sight of Broc and Alwen together tore her apart. At times, it became almost too much for her to bear. During those instances, Ranulf would make her put on her armor and then take her to the practice field. There, he let her vent her frustrations out on him. After a few hours of steady sword play, she felt ready to once more face Broc.
Today was no exception. Sensing her mood, Ranulf had donned his armor and told Ariel to meet him on the field when she was ready. Instead of going directly to him, she slung her armor over her shoulder before going to the meadow. The day was cold, but the sun shone brightly, giving a slight reprieve from the winter dullness. A light dusting of snow covered the ground.
Not until she reached the meadow did Ariel realize she was not alone. The earl’s guards were a short distance behind her. Ignoring them, she hoped they would go away and leave her in peace, but they were not to be put off so easily. She refused to acknowledge their presence, but they forced her to. She steeled herself as they slowly approached.
“Well, the little knight is alone. Where is your Norman friend? Did he finally get tired of looking after you?” Ariel did not respond, and the man grew angry. “It looks as if this boy thinks he is better than us. Is that not right, Godwin?”
“It would seem so.”
The one named Godwin stepped in front of Ariel and pulled her amour out of her hands. It clanged when it landed near her feet. He laughed. The one who had spoken first went to stand beside his companion.
“What do you think, Godwin? Should we teach this young one to respect his elders?”
“Aye, Hugh. I think he needs to be taught a lesson.”
Before Ariel could move away, both men lunged at her. They were larger than her, but she fought them with all her might. In the ensuing scuffle, the front of her tunic ripped open. She automatically tried to clutch the material together with her fist. Her attackers took the advantage of her distraction. They grabbed her and threw her to the ground. The air left her lungs in a whoosh as she landed in the snow. Gasping for breath, she realized the two men had seen what was under her tunic.
The one called Hugh straddled Ariel’s middle and then grabbed her by the throat. “I think this is our lucky day, Godwin. I think we have stumbled on to something here.”
His friend didn’t seem to understand, so Hugh took out his dagger from its sheath. He hooked it into Ariel’s tunic and cut it and the bindings around her chest. At the sight of her bared breasts, Godwin sucked in a breath.
Ariel panicked as Hugh worked on her belt buckle. She arched her hips as she tried to throw him off, but it was no good. All it accomplished was having Hugh put more pressure on her throat. Still she struggled until lack of air made the world blacken.
One minute Ariel struggled to take her next breath, and then the next, she sucked in large amounts of air. She remained oblivious to what went on around her. All that mattered was getting her breath back. The silence that suddenly fell was ominous.
Able to breathe normally again, Ariel looked around. Her attackers had gone, but she was far from alone. Broc stood above her with his gaze glued to her chest. While fighting to get her breath back, she had made no attempt to cover her breasts.
Ariel jerked the material together as she shot to her feet and then backed away from Broc. His gaze bored into her with each step she took. She had to get away. He now knew who she was. Turning, she ran and brushed past Ranulf who had just reached the meadow.
He must have seen her disheveled condition. He shouted as she ran by him. “Ariel, wait! What did those two do to you?”
Ariel did not stop or even let on that she had heard him. She had to get away from Broc. Behind her, he bellowed for her to stop.
She didn’t until she reached her father’s hall. She had nowhere else to go. Knowing Broc, he would search for her. He would want answers, and Ariel had no choice but to tell him. At least there his wife would not overhear what they would say to each other.
Ariel threw open the door. Lily was the only one there. “Where is Colwyn?”
Lily gasped at the state of Ariel’s clothes. “He is asleep in your chamber. What happened to you?”
“I will explain later. Right now, I need you to leave.”
Lily hesitated. “Are you sure you are all right?”
“Aye, just go. I will be fine.”
After giving her a reassuring hug, Lily silently walked out of the hall. A minute later, Broc burst through the door.
Once he came to stand just inside, he looked her up and down, taking her measure. “Why? Why would you pretend to be a boy?”
He tried to step closer, but Ariel held up a hand to stop him. “Do not come any closer. I will not be able to say what needs to be said if you come any nearer.” Broc had heeded her words. “It was the only way I could fight with the fryd. My father needed to stay at Elmstead, so I took his place.”
Broc roughly ran his hands through his hair. “Why not tell me who you are? You had to have known me.”
Ariel made a sad little chuckle. “Aye, I did, but you did not know me. No matter how close you came, you were blind to what was in front of you.”
That statement caused a groan to slip past Broc’s lips. “Oh, god. The women and what I did to you in London. You could have told me.”
Ariel pulled herself up straighter. “Nay, I wanted you to see me as I am. I knew you the instant I saw your face on that battlefield. I have never forgotten you.”
At Ariel’s words, Broc seemed unable to stay away any longer. He crossed the room and then tried to wrap his arms around her, but she would not allow it. She backed out of reach.
“Aye, I was blind, but that does not mean I had forgotten you. You have been in my dreams since I left. That was the reason I asked for Elmstead. I wanted to look for you. You have become a part of me.”
Ariel cringed at his words. “Really? Yet you can take another as your wife?” Knowing she had hit a sore spot, she continued. “Well, now you will have to forget about me. You belong to another. You were never really mine in the first place.”
Broc’s face turned white. “I could have been. If you had only told me who you were, I would never have married Alwen.”
Ariel found this harder to do than she had first thought, but she pushed on. “As I said before, it is too late. Alwen is your wife, not I.” Broc opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly cut him off. “I refuse to be your mistress. I have other people in my life to think about, and someone in particular who could be hurt if I did.”
She could see her words hurt him, but Broc had brought much of this on himself through his inability to see clearly. He looked at her now, his expression showing her that he realized how stupid he had been not to see through her disguise. With the truth out in the open, he would never see her as a boy again. It was through his stupidity alone that he had ended up with a woman he apparently did not want.
Neither one of them seemed to know what to do next. Ariel did not want him to comfort her. If he touched her, she would not be able to let him go. It hurt that he could not be hers. He had to realize he had to forget about her. It was the only way.
Broc opened his mouth to say something, but stopped at the sound of a child crying. Ariel’s eyes widened in panic. Without speaking, she went to the chamber where the cries came from.
Broc stepped through the open chamber door. Ariel sat on the bed with Colwyn in her arms. She bent her head over his face, obscuring it. After a few seconds, she lifted it. A single tear slipped down her cheek.
“I never meant for you to find out this way. After your marriage, I planned never to tell you.”
*
It was not until Ariel turned the child to face him that Broc saw what she had truly meant. The baby’s face spoke volumes. It was an exact miniature of his.
Unable to stop himself, Broc sat beside Ariel. His gaze never left the child’s face. “He is mine?”
Ariel swallowed. “Aye. His name is Colwyn.”
Without asking, Ariel lifted Colwyn and placed him onto his lap for the first time. At first, Broc held his son, feeling a bit uncomfortable, but as Colwyn turned and looked at him, giving him a winning smile, he relaxed.
He had a son. That thought almost overwhelmed him. He had never been this close to a small child, until now, that is. Broc had never realized a baby could smell so good. They actually had a scent all their own.
Looking at his beautiful little son, Broc felt the loss of not seeing him grow to what he was today. It saddened him and made him angry as well. So angry, in fact, he stood and walked out of the chamber with Colwyn still in his arms. He made it as far as the hall before Ariel let out a shout of surprise.
“Stop, Broc! You cannot take Colwyn.”
Broc turned on his heels and gave Ariel the blast of his anger. “Whyever not? He is my son as well. A son you have kept from me. I had a right to know!”
Ariel walked slowly toward Broc as she spoke. “Maybe I should have told you, but it was my decision to make. Most of Colwyn’s life you have not been a part of.”
Broc paced the room. “Through no fault of my own, I might add. So in my absence you arbitrarily took away my rights to my son.”
“You gave up those so-called rights when you left. Do you know how I felt when you just turned and walked away? It became quite clear to me that you had had your fun and nothing else seemed to matter to you.”
Broc he stopped pacing. “That is not true.”
“Aye, it is. You mistakenly took me for a peasant, therefore, fair game. You never even asked me my name. You assumed I did not speak French. You could have taken the time to find out those things.”
Broc was about to tell Ariel he had made more than a few mistakes with her when the hall door opened and Swein came inside. He walked to Broc and took Colwyn out of him arms.
“I will take the child. He should not be listening to the two of you go at each other like this. The sound of your yelling can be heard outside.” Swein gave Broc and Ariel a pointed stare. “Settle this in a quieter manner. We do not want what is going on here to reach the ears of those who have no business knowing.”
They remained in silence after the hall door shut behind Swein. They just looked at each other. Broc broke the quietness between them.
“At our first meeting, I might have gone about it the wrong way. Do you honestly believe I make a practice of using peasant women for my own pleasure? Well, I can tell you I do not.” Broc snaked his hand through Ariel’s hair and pulled her close so her body was flush against his own.
“I wanted you. I still do. You have always been with me, even after I left. I have wished to go back to that day, to do things differently, but I cannot. Please, do not push me away.”
He had to kiss her. Desire pounded through him now that he held her so close. He slowly lowered his head, letting his mouth hover a hairbreadth above hers. Ariel stiffened, but as his lips closed over hers, she relaxed against him.
Broc released Ariel’s hair, then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. He swept his tongue along her bottom lip. She opened her mouth, allowing him entrance, which caused his body to crave her even more. A moan escaped her. He shifted so she felt the full, hard length of his cock pressed against her belly. He wanted her. She had to be able to feel the proof of it.
Broc reached inside the rip in her tunic and placed his palm on her bare breast. Her skin was soft and warm. His touch had Ariel stiffening once again. She wrenched his hand away from her breast and then gave him a hard shove. Not expecting her to reject him so violently, he lost contact with her lips.
“We have to stop this, Broc. We cannot do this. It can go no further.”
Desire pulsed through him. His heart beat wildly. No other woman made him feel that way. Broc had felt strong desire before, but not to the extreme that existed between Ariel and himself. He wanted not to just possess her body, but her soul as well. Emptiness washed over him now that he no longer held her in his arms. He needed her. It was as simple as that. Nothing could ever change that.
“What would you have me do? I need you and Colwyn to be a part of my life.”
Tears came to Ariel’s eyes once more. “I will not keep Colwyn from you any longer. You can be a part of his life. There will have to be some conditions made. If you break them, I will make sure you never see him again.”
Broc would do anything to see his son, and as much as she would allow, still be a part of Ariel’s life as well. “I understand.”
“You must never tell your wife about Colwyn or me. I will still be Wulf, if those guards have not already spoken to the earl.”
A spark of anger surged through Broc at the mention of Ariel’s attackers. “I agree with the conditions. Do not worry about those two. Let me assure you, they will be taken care of.”
The door opened before Broc could finish all he wanted to say. Much to his disgust, Ranulf stood in the doorway. The man gazed so intently at Ariel it made Broc tremble with anger. What hurt the most was seeing her look at Ranulf with such familiarity. If he did not leave now, he would in all likelihood do something to upset her. Broc gently caressed her cheek and then left the hall.