Chapter Twenty-Three
In the morning, she awakened to find Broc beside the bed, watching her sleep. No emotion showed on his face. She could not tell if he was pleased or displeased with her. He just stood there.
The sheets rustled beside her, making her aware of Colwyn’s wakefulness. He saw his father and gurgled happily. Broc bent and picked up Colwyn.
He immediately grimaced. “It would seem someone has a very wet bottom.”
Ariel lifted herself onto her elbows and struggled to get out of bed. “Give him to me. I will change him.”
Broc gently pushed her back down. “Rest. I had lots of practice when you were gone. Colwyn slept with me on a regular basis. Most mornings he woke up in this condition.”
He opened the chest at the end of the bed and then pulled out a clean changing cloth. He went to a table that held a pitcher of water and soaked the cloth. Coming back to the bed, he lay Colwyn down and proceeded to change his son’s bottom. Ariel was pleasantly surprised.
After Colwyn was once again dry, Broc picked him up. “I will feed him, if my mother allows me to, that is. Sleep as long as you wish. I will see you in the hall after you have rested a bit more.”
So a truce began. With Lily gone to London with Ranulf, Broc stepped in to help Ariel, though at times he had to fight his mother to gain his son’s attention. It turned out Lord Eustance could be just as determined as his wife. Many times he would sneak Colwyn away from Ariel, leaving the other two empty-handed.
The three St. Ceneris provided Ariel and her father with a vast amount of entertainment. Swein would burst into laughter at the sight of Lord Eustance holding Colwyn, trying to sneak past his wife before she noticed what he carried. Most of the time he would make it past her, but not all. Once Lady Mary spotted him, he would hold Colwyn close and take off at a run. Lady Mary could be seen running through the village with her skirts hiked to her ankles, chasing her husband.
On one such occasion Broc was with Ariel. He laughed along with her at his parents’ antics. He snaked out his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. He pulled her close against his side. It was the first time in a very long time he had held her like that, displaying any kind of affection. Much to her disappointment he did not hold her very long. He stiffened and then withdrew.
Not wanting Broc to see how much she would have liked for him to hold her again, Ariel turned away to look for his parents. She noticed something had stopped their play. She looked past them and sucked in her breath with surprise. It explained Broc’s reaction. Two people walked toward them from the direction of the main hall. It was Lisette and Geoffrey.
Ariel was happy to see them, but their presence at Elmstead would only destroy what little closeness she had found with Broc. She could only hope he would be able to forget the past, but it was obvious he was not willing to let it lie. He curled his lip in disgust and walked away.
Ariel pasted on a smile and went to greet the new arrivals. Broc’s parents had already introduced themselves. “Lisette, Geoffrey, I am glad you decided to come.”
Lisette kissed Ariel on the cheek. “I promised I would come when your time drew near.”
Hesitantly, Geoffrey kissed her on the cheek as well. His gaze shifted to Lord Eustance. He appeared as if he expected some retaliation brought on by his actions.
Lady Mary chuckled. “Have no fear, young man. My husband and I do not share the same point of view as our son.”
“I must admit I was a little worried about how well our visit would be received. If Broc’s leave-taking is any indication, I assume he still does not think too highly of me.”
Ariel was not going to lie to Geoffrey. “He still believes the babe is yours, and William did nothing to alleviate the problem. He forced Broc to marry me when we reached London.”
A look of pity crossed his face. “I am so sorry, Ariel. I wish I had never laid eyes on Theodoric.”
“Enough of this talk,” Lady Mary interrupted. “There is no point in dwelling on what could have been. What is done is done. Have you met our grandson?” Before Lord Eustance could protest, Lady Mary took Colwyn from his arms.
Lord Eustance moved to reclaim his grandson, but Lady Mary was quicker. She stepped out of her husband’s reach, picked up her skirts, and hurriedly walked away. Lord Eustance went after her. Lady Mary shrieked and took off at a run while her husband gave chase.
At Lisette’s and Geoffrey’s shocked expressions, she giggled. “Never mind them. They do that on a regular basis. It is a game they play. They take great joy in vying for the right to have Colwyn. You will get used to it.”
* * * *
The once fragile peace shattered with the de la Roches’ arrival. Geoffrey and Lisette stayed with Ariel and her father. There was no question of them staying in the main hall. Whenever Broc came anywhere near Geoffrey, he looked ready to kill him.
What little ground Ariel had managed to gain with Broc, she lost. He no longer came to see Colwyn. His mother and father had to bring his son to him. The looks Broc sent Ariel’s way were far from warm. They were as frigid as a cold winter day. A week went by and his facade of indifference never faltered. Her hopes of having a real marriage died a silent death.
* * * *
For late September, the day was pleasant. It seemed summer made one last valiant attempt to hold back the cool autumn weather, but it would be a losing battle. Broc was in the yard with his father. They each stood next to their horses as they prepared to leave. Bows and arrows hung from their saddles. Ariel assumed they were going hunting.
After taking a deep breath, she confronted Broc. “I would like a word with you.”
Broc did not bother to turn his head. “Can it not wait? I am going hunting with my father.”
“Nay.” Ariel looked at Lord Eustance. “You do not mind if I borrow Broc for a moment?” Smiling, he led his horse a short distance away.
With eyes that blazed, Broc turned on Ariel. “What can be so important you must interfere with my plans for the day?”
After being ignored for days, Ariel’s anger flared to life. “It is important to me,” she said sharply. “It has to do with your attitude toward me. I am your wife. Could you at least give me a modicum of respect?”
“Not likely when you persist on having that man sleep under your roof.”
“His wife is with him. What do you think is going on?”
“Oh, I do not know. Maybe he would like to sample your wares again.”
A resounding crack echoed through the yard as Ariel’s palm connected with Broc’s cheek. “How dare you insinuate I would break my marriage vows to you. If you think any man would find me appealing while I am fat with your babe, you must be blind.”
There was an imprint of her hand on his face. Broc rubbed it. “He had you once. He might want you again.”
“Unlike you.” Ariel could not resist making that barbed remark. “You had me once, but now you avoid me at all costs. Fine, I give up. Have it your way. I only thought of Colwyn. When he is old enough to understand, you can explain to him why his father hates his mother so.”
Ariel swung away from Broc. She was not going to waste any more time on him. She was tired. Cramps had plagued her off and on since she had woken up this morning. As she took a step away from him, a shooting pain raced across her stomach. A moment later, a gush of warm liquid followed by another sharp pain. Unable to hold back, a moan escaped her lips. She clutched her belly and gasped. The pains came fast, not giving her much time in between before another hit her.
After the third, she noticed Broc was in front of her with concern etched on his face. “Ariel?”
“The babe has decided now would be a good time for it to come into the world.” Moaning, another pain hit her. This one stronger than the last.
Broc picked up Ariel and yelled at his father. “Go to the village and get the healer. Find Mother and tell her Ariel has need of her.” Lord Eustance left at a run.
Broc kicked open the door to the smaller hall. Lady Mary sat inside, visiting Lisette, Geoffrey, and her father. Ever observant, Lady Mary quickly assessed the situation and took control.
“Take her into her chamber. Geoffrey, fetch the healer.”
Broc shook his head. “No need, Mother. I sent Father for her.”
“Good lad. Lisette, come with us. I will need your help.”
Once in the chamber, Broc laid Ariel on her bed. He backed away to allow his mother to take his place. The two women started to remove Ariel’s gown.
Ariel held out her hand and called to him. “Stay. I want you here. Please.”
Broc stepped away. “Do not ask this of me.”
Ariel’s eyes begged him. “Please.”
“Nay.”
A pain overtook Ariel, causing her to gasp. “Then get out. I do not need you. I hate you.” The last part she yelled at his back before he closed the door behind him.
* * * *
After giving a final push, Ariel’s child slid from her body. The sound of a newborn’s cries filled the chamber. She collapsed onto the pillows and closed her eyes. Though her labor had not been long, she was glad to have it over.
Ariel opened her eyes and found Lady Mary hovering nearby with a mewling bundle in her arms. “Here is your daughter, love. She is beautiful.”
She accepted the bundle and stared at the new life she had created. She was indeed perfect. She kissed the velvety soft cheek before she passed her daughter back to Lady Mary.
“Take her to Broc. He needs to know how much of a fool he has been. You can tell the high and mighty lord I would rather walk over hot coals in bare feet before I have any intention of seeing him again.”
It was no secret that Lady Mary was not at all pleased with her son’s behavior, either. She nodded. “With pleasure.”
* * * *
Broc had finally stopped his pacing once the cries of a babe came from Ariel’s chamber. His mother stepped out with a well-wrapped bundle in her arms. He felt uneasy. His mother was not happy, and her anger seemed to be solely directed at him.
Without asking permission, Lady Mary placed the bundle into his arms. “It is a girl. Look at her.”
Obediently, Broc looked down. The first thing he noticed was the tufts of blonde hair that appeared almost white, so much like Ariel’s own. The little face tugged at his heart. He had never been this close to a newborn child. He was amazed at how small she seemed. Her hands were tiny with perfectly-shaped fingers. Tentatively, he touched a small fist. It opened and then she clasped his finger. He smiled at the strength one so small could display.
The child’s eyes had been closed, but they opened and looked up at him. He gasped. Gold eyes stared back at him. It had the same effect as having a fist slammed into his belly. Ariel had not been lying. This was his daughter.
Feeling knocked off kilter, he looked at his mother. “How fares Ariel?”
“She is fine. I have never seen a woman have such an easy time of it.”
“Can I see her now?”
His mother shook her head. “Nay.”
“Then when?”
“Ariel does not want to see you.”
Broc could understand Ariel not wanting to see him, but it did not make it hurt any less. “I know I was wrong.”
“Aye, you were wrong, but that does not make it right, either. What could you have been thinking? I am afraid you pushed Ariel too far this time. You have lost her, and maybe for good. To be honest, if it had been me, I would have had nothing to do with you long before now.”
His mother meant every word. It was he who had been in the wrong. “I know how much of an ass I have been. There is no need to tell me, Mother, but this is my daughter. She changes everything.”
“How stupid can you be? You called Ariel a liar and insinuated she was a whore for allowing another man take her. Would you have been happier if you found her beaten and broken?”
He was not very proud of himself at that moment. “Of course not. How I treated Ariel was unconscionable. I just could not seem to stop myself. Every time I picture her in Geoffrey’s arms my blood boils. I hate myself for it. I need to ask her for forgiveness, to see if we can start over.”
The baby squirmed. She turned her head and nuzzled Broc’s chest with her open mouth. When she did not find what she sought, she whimpered.
“Give me the babe. I have to take her to Ariel. She needs to be fed.”
Reluctantly, Broc handed his daughter to his mother. “Please talk to her. I never really stopped loving her, regardless of what I might have said. I want us to be a real family.”
Sighing, Lady Mary nodded. “I will try, but do not expect much. At least wait until tomorrow. She just gave you a daughter. Let her rest.”
“Fine. One more thing. Do you know if Ariel has chosen a name for our daughter?”
His mother shook her head. “She has not said anything about a name that I know of.”
“Ask her if she would not mind calling the baby Brianna.”
Lovingly caressing Broc’s cheek, his mother smiled. “It suits her. A pretty name for a pretty girl. I will suggest it to Ariel.”
* * * *
The next day found Ariel up and out of bed. Her labor had not been too strenuous, and the thought of lying around all day held no appeal. She put away her gowns and again wore her tunics and trews.
Against her better judgment, Ariel had allowed Lady Mary to talk her into seeing Broc that day. Her mother-in-law could be a very convincing woman when she set her mind to it. What had finally brought Ariel around had been Lady Mary telling her how guilty Broc felt over his past actions, and how he wanted to try to make a fresh start. Ariel had no intention of forgiving him that easily, but she was interested in seeing what he would do. He had yet to arrive.
Ariel spent a peaceful morning with her father and Colwyn. The baby had been asleep in her cradle near the hearth, but she now made fussing noises. Her daughter was in need of feeding. She spent a great deal of time eating and keeping Ariel awake half the night.
Colwyn, who had taken an instant liking to his sister, rushed to the cradle. He placed his small hands on the side of it, bent down, and gurgled something to the baby. The new face above her distracted her for only a moment. Once it became apparent Colwyn would not be feeding her, the baby let out a hearty wail. The stricken look on Colwyn’s face made Ariel laugh. She held out her arms and gathered Colwyn close when he came to her. Swein picked up the baby. Her cries stopped once she was held.
Ariel kissed Colwyn. “Give your sister a few months, then she will be able to play with you.” As if he had understood, Colwyn clapped.
The baby let loose with another earsplitting wail. Swein cringed. “I think you had better feed this one before she brings the hall down around us with her cries.”
“Aye, she really does have a good set of lungs.” She released Colwyn and then took the baby from her father. Swein grabbed Colwyn by the hand before he left Ariel alone.
Ariel unlaced the collar of her tunic and then pulled it down, releasing her breast. Eagerly the baby latched on and sucked. Ariel relaxed as her head fell against the back of her chair. The heat from the fire washed over her, making her drowsy. Her eyes fluttered closed.
With a jerk, she opened them. She could have only slept for a few seconds, but surprisingly she found Broc in front of her. The baby still nursed.
“What are you doing here?”
Broc smiled. “You said I could speak with you today.”
“I am feeding the baby.”
“I can see that.”
Knowing Broc was being deliberately obtuse, trying to get a rise out of her, Ariel took a deep breath. “I want you to leave. You can come back when I have finished.”
“I think not. I have never seen a woman nurse her child before.”
There was no point in arguing with him, for it would only upset the baby. “Stay if you want. She is almost finished, anyway.” Which was true. The baby’s sucking came in fits and spurts. Sleep would claim her soon.
“Did you have a chance to think about the name I suggested?” He stared at the sight of his daughter nursing. The baby’s little hand lay on Ariel’s breast.
“Aye, I did. Brianna is fine with me. I had no other name chosen.”
“Then Brianna it is.”
The silence stretched between them. Broc grabbed the chair opposite from Ariel and moved it so he sat a few inches from her knees. He leaned forward and quietly watched Brianna.
With her belly full, Brianna released Ariel’s nipple and dozed off. Ariel pulled her tunic closed before she propped her daughter into a sitting position and gently patted her back.
“Can I try?”
Finding no real reason to deny him, Ariel nodded. She placed the baby on Broc’s knee and set one of his hands onto Brianna’s chest so her chin rested on it. The other she settled on the small back.
Brianna looked so tiny held in Broc’s large hands. As if he were almost afraid he would hurt her, he lightly patted her back. Ariel quietly laughed, which caused him to look at her.
“What is so funny?”
“You are. What do you think you will accomplish with that tapping?”
“I am burping her.”
“Well, you had better put some strength behind those taps or you will never move the gas.”
Broc looked decidedly uneasy. “I do not want to hurt her.”
“You will not. Here, I will show you.”
Ariel wrapped her fingers around Broc’s wrist and then moved his hand on and off Brianna’s back. After she figured he had the hang of it, she let him continue while she still held his wrist. A couple of good pats and a loud belch escaped the baby’s lips. At his shocked look, Ariel laughed.
Joining in on the laughter, Broc stared at Ariel. One moment he laughed and the next the laughter fell away from his face. Flames of passion flickered in his gold eyes. She released his wrist. If things had been different, she would have responded in kind. The rejection she had received from him in the past held her back. Feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze, she went to take Brianna.
“Give her to me. I will put her in her cradle. She will sleep until her next feeding.”
After relinquishing the baby, Broc followed Ariel to the cradle. Once Brianna as all tucked in, he grabbed Ariel around the waist. He turned her and pulled her against him.
“Now we can have our talk.”
Ariel shoved against his chest, hoping he would release her. He did not. “Let me go and I will speak with you.”
Broc appeared to think over her request, then shook his head. “Nay, this way you cannot walk away.”
Not having the energy to fight with him right now, Ariel made no other overtures for her release. “Very well, speak.”
“I know my behavior toward you has been unacceptable, but I hope you can overlook it. I wish for us to start over, make a fresh start.”
Ariel stiffened. He could not be serious. After months of being treated as low as the mud on his boots, he wanted her to forget what had happened. It could not be done. The wounds were still too fresh.
“How can you expect me to let the past go so easily? You are asking me to do something I find impossible.”
Broc pushed on. “Why not? I am willing to forget what passed between you and Geoffrey. It goes against the grain, but I will push it from my mind.”
The audacity of the man knew no bounds. He really needed to be knocked down a notch or two. Ariel would happily oblige by giving Broc the sharp edge of her tongue, but first she could no longer stand the close contact. She threw all her weight behind her and shoved him with both hands on his chest. Caught off guard, he lost his balance and landed on his rump with a thud. If she had not been so angry, she would have found the sight of him rubbing his abused backside amusing, but not that day.
“How generous of you to forgive me for something that never even happened. You can take your fresh start and go to hell.”
Standing, Broc intently looked at her. “What do you mean it never happened? You slept with Geoffrey.”
“Aye, but not in that way. You have never given me a chance to explain. The first night he wanted sex, but when I stayed unresponsive, he let me be. After that, I just slept in the bed next to him. He wanted to protect me from his men. If they assumed we were having sex, I would be safe from their advances.”
Broc paled slightly. “It looks as if I have to apologize to Geoffrey as well as to you. I am sorry. I just do not want to lose you.”
“You already have. How can I trust you again after this? If I accept you back, what are the chances of you turning on me once more? The one time I needed your understanding and support you withheld it.”
Broc sadly looked at her. “I would give anything to go back to that first day and change how I handled the situation. The right thing to do was for me to ignore the pain I felt and be there for you. Yours had to have been the greater.”
Sadly, Ariel shook her head. “You cannot go back. The hurt has been done, and I find myself unable to forget the pain you caused me. For the sake of my heart, I must keep you out.”
“What about the children?”
“You know how I feel about that. They are as much yours as they are mine. I will not keep them from you. We might not have a relationship, but I would like us to share our children.”
“I will take whatever you can give me.” After pressing a kiss to Ariel’s forehead, Broc left the hall.