Tommy stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to whistle, but his mouth was dry. The wind had got up, bringing the familiar smell of the river into the streets around the docks. Autumn was here, and he wondered where he’d left his scarf. Kitty wouldn’t be happy with him if he needed a new one.
He’d finished work and would normally have cycled back on the bike Frank had managed to get him, but its tyres needed pumping up and he hadn’t been able find the pump this morning, so he had caught the bus instead. He hoped he hadn’t lost the pump for good – that would be another thing Kitty would be cross about. It was the whole business of having to get up so early and in to work on time – he still wasn’t used to it, and as the mornings began to get darker it was harder still. He’d managed not to be late so far, as he couldn’t have borne the shame of it, but it was touch and go. It didn’t leave any spare time to find anything he’d mislaid.
He hadn’t really noticed the change of temperature and the note of chill in the air as he cycled about the city on his rounds. He was too busy, and needed to move as fast as possible between jobs, so he was plenty warm enough. He was gradually getting used to the notion that he was a harbinger of bad news, and as the Allies continued their successes in France, the stream of casualties kept rising. Now that he was strolling along he began to shiver.
A car drew up.
‘All right, Tommy?’
Tommy looked up. It was Alfie Delaney. He wondered if he could get away without answering, but there weren’t many people around and he couldn’t exactly pretend he hadn’t seen him. ‘Hello, Alfie,’ he said cautiously.
‘How’s the new job going?’ Alfie asked, leaning across the front seat and talking through the wound-down passenger window. ‘Got the hang of it yet?’
‘I think so,’ said Tommy, brightening. ‘There’s lots to do and I have to get it right every time, so I’m very busy.’
‘I bet you are,’ said Alfie approvingly. ‘Tell you what, I’d love to hear more about it. Why don’t you get in? We could go somewhere and you can tell me what you get up to. How about that?’
Tommy hesitated. He wasn’t at all sure spending time with Alfie would be a good idea. On the other hand, Kitty wouldn’t be back yet and he’d be kicking his heels around the house on his own, now that Danny had gone on his course down south. Alfie’s car would be warmer than the street as well. ‘All right,’ he said and climbed in.
‘I reckon that you’re a proper man now you’ve got a full-time job,’ Alfie said, slipping into gear. ‘We should go to the pub, celebrate you not being a boy any longer.’
‘What, the Sailor’s Rest?’ asked Tommy, his voice rising in alarm. He’d never been in a pub and knew Kitty would have a fit if she found out – and if they went to the pub at the end of Empire Street, it was a one hundred per cent certainty that she would.
‘No, no, we can do better than that,’ said Alfie, not mentioning the real reason he didn’t want to go there – he’d been banned ages ago, after the poisonous meat episode.
‘Bent Nose Jake’s, then?’ Tommy asked. That was the second-nearest pub, and he knew Danny used to go there, but he’d said it was a bit rough. When Danny said somewhere was a bit rough, it was definitely true. It took a lot to shock Danny. Tommy wasn’t sure it was a place he particularly wanted to go to.
‘Trust me, Tommy,’ said Alfie easily. ‘No, you don’t want to go down there. I know a new place so we can have a nice private word. No chance of anyone from Empire Street seeing you – that’s what’s on your mind, isn’t it?’
Tommy muttered but didn’t want to admit it out loud. He’d sound like a boy, no matter what Alfie said. He gazed out of the window as the ruined streets of Bootle went by, so many of the houses damaged or destroyed by the raids of the blitz.
Alfie pulled off the dock road and on to a side street, coming to a halt by a brick building with a newly painted sign outside. Tommy squinted at it but the breeze had got up and the sign swung too much for him to pick out what was on it. Alfie didn’t want to wait around. ‘Come on, Tom. Get your skates on. Sooner we get inside, the sooner we can have something to warm us up good and proper.’
Tommy leapt out and Alfie urged him inside. It was a dimly lit room, with a wooden counter in the corner, and a couple of mirrors that hung behind it over some shelves which held a few bottles. Tommy thought that for his first pub, it was a bit miserable. Still, Alfie was buying.
‘What’s your poison?’
Tommy hesitated. He knew he should say lemonade, but he could get that from Kitty. ‘I’ll have a beer,’ he said boldly.
‘Pint of your finest,’ said Alfie to the barman with a broad wink. The barman glared at him but made no comment about Tommy’s age. ‘Come to think of it, make it two.’
The barman grunted and slowly pulled two pints. Alfie picked up the glasses and carried them over to a table on the far side of the room, away from the big window at the front.
‘There you go, Tom. Get stuck in to that.’
Tommy sipped at the drink and had to stop himself from pulling a face. He’d snatched swigs of beer before, whenever there had been parties at home – the last time had been for little Ellen’s christening. He didn’t mind the stuff Danny got in bottles. This wasn’t as nice, it was bitter and smelt odd, but Alfie seemed to like it. He was smiling broadly, though Tommy couldn’t make out what he was so happy about.
Alfie began by cross-examining Tommy about every aspect of the job – the bike, the PT beforehand, the bosses, the other telegraph boys, what it was like to be the bearer of bad news. He seemed sympathetic enough, and Tommy began to grow more at ease. The beer was slipping down nicely. ‘Tom, what a thirst you have on you,’ Alfie observed. ‘Must be all that cycling around. I’ll get you another.’ He was back at the bar before Tommy could object. Never mind, it was warm in here, even if the floor was a bit sticky.
Alfie put the fresh pint in front of him and carried on with his questions. Tommy’s answers grew longer and more rambling. Alfie didn’t seem to mind. ‘And how are things at home now?’ he wondered. ‘Settled back in, have you?’
‘It’s nice,’ said Tommy. ‘A bit quiet. Kitty’s always at work.’
‘And what about Danny?’ asked Alfie innocently.
‘Oh, he’s on some course thing,’ said Tommy. Didn’t Alfie already know that? Half of Bootle seemed to. ‘He’s off staying in an old house somewhere down south. So it’s even quieter.’
‘Must be a bit on the slow side for a young fellow like you,’ Alfie sympathised.
Tommy shrugged.
‘It’s just you and Kitty there, then. I’d be bored if I were you.’ Alfie took a swig of his drink, which didn’t seem to be going down very quickly.
‘S’all right,’ Tommy said, and burped loudly. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Good job Kitty wasn’t here to see him.
‘Her boyfriend doesn’t come round often, then?’ Alfie asked.
‘Boyfriend?’ Tommy looked at him, puzzled. ‘No, you got that wrong. Kitty hasn’t got a boyfriend.’
‘Oh,’ said Alfie, keeping any emotion from his voice. ‘My mistake. Only a while back in town one night, I thought she was meeting what’s-his-name, used to live near you.’ He drummed his fingers on the table, as if trying to remember. ‘Frank. Frank Feeny.’
Tommy laughed and spilt some of his beer. ‘Oh, no, you got that very wrong. He’s not her boyfriend.’
‘No?’ Alfie looked doubtful. ‘They seemed very friendly.’
Tommy shook his head. ‘They are friends; he’s like another brother to all of us. That’s all. I’d know if not. I think he’s got a girlfriend anyway, from where he works.’ He gave a small hiccough. Alfie didn’t seem to be sitting as steadily on his stool as he had been. His outline was becoming a little blurry. The whole room felt blurry. It wasn’t unpleasant, just odd.
‘Careful now, Tommy,’ said Alfie. ‘Nearly came off your seat there, you did. Don’t want you cracking your head on the floor now, do we?’
Tommy grunted. He was feeling odder still.
‘Well, I’m sure you’re right about Kitty,’ said Alfie. He realised he’d overplayed his hand. He had planned to get Tommy on his side, maybe persuade him to report back on when Kitty’s shifts were or which friends she was seeing, so he could get a better idea of her movements, but the boy must be completely unused to drink as he was swaying where he sat. ‘Come on, best get you back. I’ve places to go, I can’t be sitting around drinking beer all evening, much as I’d like to.’ He hauled Tommy to his feet and guided him across the near-empty bar and back to the car.
Tommy gave up after a few attempts to continue the conversation and dozed off, coming to with a start as Alfie pulled up at the kerb on the corner of the dock road, just down from the junction with Empire Street.
‘I’ll drop you here if you don’t mind,’ he said. ‘Save me going out of my way. You all right to walk back from here?’
Tommy shrugged and squinted hard to make out where he was. It looked familiar. ‘Yes, course,’ he said, trying to open the car door and failing. Alfie leant across and did it for him.
‘Right you are then.’
Tommy scrambled out of the car and stood unsteadily. ‘Ummm … thanks, Alfie.’ Kitty would be pleased with him, remembering his manners like that, he thought. The cold breeze reddened his cheeks and helped sober him up a little as he turned to wave goodbye.
‘Make sure you tell Kitty I was asking after her,’ called Alfie as he sped off.
Tommy wasn’t sure he would say anything of the sort. He would have to explain where and how he’d been talking to Alfie, and he knew that would be a bad idea. He made his way along the main road and turned up into Empire Street, his feet unsteady. He wove along, narrowly avoiding falling over his shoelaces.
Sarah stood at the top of the road, watching the swaying figure’s progress, growing more alarmed by the second as she realised who it was. At first she thought she must be mistaken. The person was obviously drunk and it couldn’t be Tommy – he was far too young to get served in a pub. And yet the closer he got, the plainer his identity became. Sarah groaned under her breath. She couldn’t let him cope on his own. Even though she was exhausted after a shift that had gone on three hours longer than it should have, she knew it was her duty to see to him. Kitty wouldn’t be home yet and now there was no Danny to help his little brother.
Tommy looked up at her as he approached, his face confused. He squinted as if trying to make out who she was. ‘Sarah,’ he said at last.
‘Well done, Tommy,’ she said in exasperation. ‘Who did you think it was? Of course it’s me.’
‘Nurse’s coat,’ Tommy said, pointing.
‘Yes, I’ve just come from work.’ Sarah stepped closer and then recoiled at the smell of alcohol. ‘Tommy, where have you been? You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?’
‘I … I …’ Tommy appeared to be trying to explain but not getting very far.
‘Don’t bother, I can see you have been,’ Sarah said firmly. ‘Right, we’d best get you indoors. Do you have your key?’ Danny had told her they’d got one cut for his little brother for his first week at work, reasoning that if he was responsible enough to deliver telegrams, then he could be trusted with his own door key. Tommy had been proud and tied it to a cord around his neck. Now he brought it out.
‘I can do it,’ he said, but as he stumbled to the front door he missed the keyhole by a mile. He tried again but it was no good.
Sarah reached over. ‘Here. Let me.’ The sooner he was inside the better. She didn’t want anyone else to see him in this state – the likes of Vera Delaney would have a field day, and Kitty and Danny would like as not get the blame. She didn’t want that.
She took him by the shoulders and guided him into the kitchen, where she lit the gas lamp and bent to set fire to the kindling left in the grate. Tommy slumped into a chair and rested his head on the table. ‘I’m not very well,’ he moaned.
‘No, you’re drunk,’ Sarah pointed out. ‘Here, have a glass of water. Now, tell me, what’s going on?’
Tommy looked up at her and clearly decided he wasn’t going to get away with not explaining what had happened. So he recounted meeting Alfie and agreeing to get in the car, and ending up at the pub with him. ‘I didn’t mean anything by it,’ he said mournfully. ‘He was being nice, that’s all.’
Sarah gazed up at the ceiling in frustration. ‘Tommy, this is Alfie Delaney we’re talking about. He’s never nice – or if he is there’ll be some other reason behind it. What did he want?’
Tommy’s face contorted with the effort of remembering. ‘Wanted to know about my job,’ he said slowly. ‘And asked if Kitty had a boyfriend. I said no, she didn’t.’
Sarah gave an involuntary shiver. The man had had no business taking Tommy into a pub – he was far too young. Maybe, just maybe, he’d done it as a gesture of friendship, she told herself. Then she shook her head. That wasn’t likely. What had he really wanted? It was unlikely to be anything good.
The boy had almost dozed off at the table. ‘Tommy, when is Kitty due back?’ She shook him by the shoulder.
‘Dunno,’ he said dully, slumping back down against the table. He looked pathetically young in the dim gaslight.
Sarah thought quickly. ‘You should have something to eat, soak up all the beer,’ she said. ‘I’ll go home and see what Mam has got and bring something over. All right? Probably best you don’t come over and let everyone see you like this.’
Tommy mumbled something and Sarah took it for agreement. She didn’t want to leave him alone, but knew that Dolly would have a fit if she knew the boy was in this state. That wouldn’t help matters. If she could nip across and grab a bowl of something hot, she might manage to help him improve a little before Kitty returned. She couldn’t leave him alone for long though. What if he was sick? She was pretty sure he wasn’t used to alcohol. He’d never been allowed it at home, or not officially anyway, and there was no way on earth that Joan and Seth would have given him any. She could not tell how much he’d had now, but she wanted to keep an eye on him, or at least until his sister finished her shift. Sarah knew from several cases at the hospital how dangerous a large intake of alcohol could be. She couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Tommy.
She let herself out of the front door and made sure it was left so she could easily come back in. Moonlight was now flooding Empire Street, picking out all the details of the bomb damage – the missing tiles, splintered frames and the empty space where a house had once stood. She leant against the wall for a moment. If only Danny were here.
Briefly she closed her eyes. She missed him, and he hadn’t even been gone for very long. She’d come to rely on their almost daily conversations, his humour, the knowledge that she could ask him anything – and that he would ask her too. There had been a bond between them for years. She had been the only one apart from him and the doctors who had known about his heart condition, and he’d sworn her to secrecy. She’d said nothing to anyone until the accident, when he’d been so badly affected and the cat was well and truly out of the bag.
She also knew, although Danny hadn’t realised she knew, that Alfie had some underhand interest in him. That was one reason she was so alarmed that Alfie had sought out Tommy. She’d overheard the occasional comment over the years and put two and two together. That was why Alfie’s return could not mean anything good.
She was also deeply uneasy about his ongoing interest in Kitty. However, she wasn’t sure what she could do about it. In the usual run of things she would have immediately turned to Danny for advice, or as a sounding board to talk through her own thoughts. Sometimes he understood her better than she did herself. She realised she’d taken this for granted; it was as normal as breathing, until the day he’d packed his bags and gone on that blasted course.
Sarah had always known that she had strong feelings for Danny, but, being an unusually steady and responsible teenager, she’d told herself that things might change as she got older and she should do nothing hasty. After all, the Feenys and the Callaghans had grown up almost as one big family, so it was no wonder she felt so close to him. Then her sister Rita had married his brother Jack, to further cement the bonds between them.
But the feelings she now had for him were anything but sisterly. She had to admit it. While he was here every day she could go on as usual, enjoying his company, trusting him with her innermost thoughts, loving the way they seemed to agree on just about everything. Now he wasn’t here she was lonely even in the midst of her friends, family and colleagues. None of them came close to him.
She couldn’t tell him about Tommy now. What would he do if he read about this evening in a letter? He’d worry, but be unable to come up to sort things out, and that would be the worst of all worlds. It was better to say nothing. Kitty could make that decision, if it came to it. She could just imagine Danny’s fury, fuelled by deep concern for his young brother. She knew how responsible he felt for him, how anxious he’d been that this course would take him away just when he was needed at home.
Did Danny feel the same about her as she did for him? She didn’t know. She wouldn’t force the issue when he came back. She dreaded losing his friendship, and suspected that he still thought of her as another sister. Besides, he was so clever. Nobody had recognised this when he was growing up, least of all his teachers, but now look at him, doing this really hard hush-hush job and being sent off to learn even more complicated work. He might think she was too stupid for him. She had been no great shakes at school either, but she loved what she did and nursing came easily to her. That was enough for her; but would it be enough for Danny?
Sarah looked up at the moon. Time to go and see what her mother had in the way of a meal so she could make sure Tommy recovered from his ordeal. Her feelings for Danny would have to wait – but they showed no signs of going away.