Laura set down her beautiful fountain pen and reread what she’d just written. She thought it just about made sense but her mind was whirring. Perhaps she’d got it all wrong and was making a fuss about nothing. Indeed, if she didn’t have the physical evidence of the scrappy piece of paper now carefully flattened under her empty tea mug, she would have thought the whole thing was a figment of her imagination.
She couldn’t even write what she really wanted to say as the censor would block it out. Never mind, all she really needed to do was make sure it sounded sufficiently urgent for Kitty to take notice and to agree to meet her.
She stared out of the window of her new attic billet in Kentish Town, across the rooftops of northwest London towards the centre of town. How she and Kitty and Marjorie would have loved to have lived here during their training – they could have walked into Piccadilly at a push and gone to all those bars and clubs that Elliott had known. Now such venues held little interest for her. It would just be one more place to dodge the buzz bombs, the new German weapon that had been causing havoc over the summer, no doubt launched in retaliation for D-day.
Peter had survived the landings and had made it back to his base near Portsmouth, and so she’d been able to hear first hand about the horrors and successes of the operation. He had come through unscathed, and full of admiration for the way it had been planned. ‘That was down to you too, my darling,’ she’d told him, on the one night they’d managed to snatch at his uncle’s flat. ‘Those boring old meetings paid off.’ She was terribly proud of him, and mightily relieved he was back in one piece, but there was a strong likelihood he would be back at sea shortly. However, he had taken to persuading colleagues who were sent to London from their south coast base to seek her out if their paths looked likely to cross, passing her messages to cheer her up. It was an unconventional way of getting news, but it made her day to know that he was thinking about her.
It was one such encounter that had brought about her state of indecision. Yesterday she had just stood down from duty and had chosen to walk through Regent’s Park to make the most of the sunny day, glad to have finished her shift driving a particularly unpleasant naval officer, who seemed to think that her company later in the evening would be part of the service. She had put him right politely but firmly, wishing she could have told him exactly what she thought of him. If he tried it again she’d report him, she thought angrily. She’d been wandering down one of the less frequented paths when a man in a drab grey jacket had approached her, his distinguishing features blocked out by the brightness of the sun behind him. ‘Miss Fawcett?’ he’d asked, in a voice she could only have described as nondescript.
She’d looked directly at him, neither denying nor confirming her name – she had no idea who this was and the light was such she would have struggled to recognise even a reasonable acquaintance.
‘Message for you,’ he’d said, pressing a small piece of paper into her hand, then he was gone.
Well, that was a new twist from Peter, she’d thought, and made her way back to the rather grim little attic room, which was too hot in the summer and would probably be freezing in the winter. She’d opened the flaking window as far as it would go, and stood by it before taking out the paper and unfolding it.
If it was from Peter, it wasn’t his writing. It was a scrawl, almost as if it had been deliberately disguised.
Back soon. Safe and well. Don’t worry.
It had no name, date, or any way of telling where or who it was from.
She had stared at it, held it up to the light, sniffed it to see if it had any trace of lemon juice or substances said to be used in invisible ink, even while telling herself not to be so stupid. It was most likely a silly joke.
She’d put it to one side and left it overnight, half believing when she woke up that she’d dreamt the whole thing. But she hadn’t. It was still there, curling in the dry air. In the morning light the ink looked a little faded, as if the message had been written some while ago. Could this letter possibly be from the one person that she desperately wanted it to be? Freddy – her brother – missing presumed dead.
This was all too much to decipher on her own. She didn’t want to bother Peter – and he might not even be ashore right now. The only person she could think of who might have an idea was Kitty. There was no chance that she’d risk putting the details in a letter, but she could talk to her in person. She was owed some leave. She could go to see her parents, a long-overdue visit. And meet Kitty at Crewe, if they could co-ordinate it. She just had to stress how urgent it was, without unduly alarming her friend. She thought she’d got the tone about right, and with nothing that would annoy the censor. Nodding firmly, she slipped the letter into an envelope and made her way down the rickety uncarpeted stairs to post it.
She hated allowing herself to be taunted by false hope, but ever since Freddy had disappeared, she had thought about the ways in which he might make contact, if by a miracle he had survived. Of course it was a long shot. But she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that it was what she wanted to be behind this strange little note.
‘Well, well, if it isn’t Tommy Callaghan.’
Tommy looked up from where he’d been kicking a stone along the dock road. He squinted into the sun. The voice sounded familiar but it took him a moment to put a name to the face. He realised that the man had changed since he’d last seen him – he’d almost gone bald. His scalp shone pink through the remainder of his closely cropped hair.
‘Hello, Alfie,’ he said.
‘How’s it going then?’ said Alfie. ‘I heard you were coming back. Home for good, are you?’
Tommy shrugged. ‘Suppose so.’
‘Bet you’re glad to be back in the thick of things and not stuck out in the sticks any more,’ Alfie went on.
Tommy looked dubious. ‘How do you know where I was?’
Alfie gave a big, open smile. ‘Oh, word gets round, you know how it is. I travel around a lot as well. It wouldn’t have been my sort of place, I can tell you that for nothing.’
Tommy wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. ‘It was all right,’ he said shortly. If he was honest, he missed the farm and Joan and Seth, who’d been like family to him. He also missed Michael and Megan more than he’d thought he would. Acting the big brother to them had made him feel important and grown-up. Round here he was back to being the little brother once more. He wasn’t going to say that to Alfie though.
‘So, got any plans?’ Alfie asked. ‘Smart lad like you, you’re bound to have something up your sleeve.’
Tommy perked up. ‘Well, yes, I have.’ He paused. ‘I might as well tell you, Alfie, ’cos you’ve known me since I was little.’
‘And I saved your life back in that warehouse fire, didn’t I?’ Alfie interjected, almost as if he’d just thought of it, rather than he’d been determined to get that little reminder in as soon as he’d clapped eyes on the boy.
‘Oh, mmm, thanks, Alfie.’ Tommy wasn’t sure what he should say to that. He felt awkward at the subject being brought up.
‘So, you were going to tell me about your plans,’ prompted Alfie.
‘Oh, right. Well. I just went to the GPO for an interview and I got the job.’ Tommy beamed with happiness and pride. ‘I’m starting delivering telegrams next week.’
Alfie raised his eyebrows and gave his big smile again. ‘Is that so? Congratulations. That’s a proper responsible job, that is.’
‘It is,’ said Tommy seriously. ‘I might have to bring people the news that someone they love has died. It’s not going to be easy. But I’m determined to do my bit.’
‘Quite right, Tommy, quite right.’ Alfie nodded solemnly. ‘You’ll do a good job, you will.’
‘I’ll have to.’ Tommy brightened. ‘And I’ll have to ride a bike all over the place. Danny said he’d get me one to have at home an’ all.’
‘Did he now?’ Alfie thought swiftly. ‘That’s kind of him. Aren’t you lucky to have such a kind brother?’
‘Suppose so,’ said Tommy.
‘You tell him that I can get hold of a bike for him if he wants,’ Alfie said confidently, without knowing if that was the case or not. Still, he reasoned, it couldn’t be that hard. If holier-than-thou Danny Callaghan could manage it, then surely he could too, and probably a much better model at a cheaper price. ‘Yes, I’ll do him a mate’s rate, like, seeing as it’s for you.’
‘Blimey, thanks, Alfie.’
‘It’s no trouble to me,’ Alfie said airily. ‘That’s what friends are for, right? And by the way, how’s your sister? She’s back home now, isn’t she?’
Something about the way the man asked the question made Tommy uneasy, even though Alfie’s expression hadn’t changed. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but he suddenly felt uncomfortable in his skin. ‘She’s all right,’ he said shortly. ‘I hardly see her, she’s at work all the time.’
‘Oh, that must be hard,’ said Alfie, oozing sympathy, but his eyes didn’t match his words as they stared at Tommy just a little too intently.
Tommy shrugged. ‘She’s happy enough,’ he said. ‘I must get on, Alfie. Got to tell Danny about my interview.’ He couldn’t wait to be gone now.
‘Oh, right,’ said Alfie, covering his disappointment that he wasn’t going to hear any juicy details about Kitty. ‘Yes, you’d best get back right away. Do say hello from me. And to Kitty, of course. Tell her I’m glad she’s back home after all this time.’ He gave what might have been meant as a broad smile, though it didn’t really look like one.
‘Okey doke, then, Alfie.’ Tommy turned and headed off, relieved to have got away from the man, though he couldn’t have said why. Then he brightened again as he rounded the corner into Empire Street. What was he worried about? He’d got the job. He’d have a red GPO bike for work and a smart uniform. He’d have to do PT drill first thing every morning with the other telegraph boys, and he’d be doing his bit. Life was getting better by the minute.
Sarah Feeny was about to go in through her front door when she caught sight of him. ‘Well?’ she demanded, coming across the street to greet him, her nurse’s cloak slung over her arm as it was too hot to wear it. ‘Did you get it?’
‘Course I did!’ Tommy was almost jumping up and down with pride.
‘Course you did!’ Sarah echoed. ‘That’s wonderful news, Tommy. When do you start?’
‘Next week.’ Then Tommy remembered his manners. ‘Please say thank you to Pop for getting Mr Mawdsley to put in a word for me.’
‘I will, but he was happy to do it,’ Sarah said, recalling that Pop had called in a favour from the husband of one of her mother’s close friends. Mr Mawdsley was a respectable civil servant, but he wasn’t above drinking the occasional pint in the Sailor’s Rest. His word would have carried some weight. Sometimes it was all about who you knew.
‘Guess who I just saw,’ Tommy said.
‘No idea.’ Sarah raised her eyebrows in encouragement.
‘Alfie Delaney!’ Tommy announced. ‘I almost didn’t know it was him. He’s gone bald and his head is burnt so it’s like a red snooker ball.’
Sarah drew in a sharp breath. ‘Is it now? That’s a turn-up for the books. No, not his head, the fact that he’s back after all those years away.’
‘Oh, has he been away?’ asked Tommy. ‘He didn’t say. Sounded as if he was back here all right, though. He said he could get me a bike. Mate’s rates an’ all.’
‘Did he?’ Sarah shook her head. ‘You know what, Tommy, if he’s still got the same mates as before he left, I might be inclined to wonder where he’d get a bike from.’
Tommy’s face fell.
‘But don’t mind me,’ she said hurriedly, not wanting to spoil his triumph. ‘You go on in and tell Danny about the new job. I expect he’ll get you a bike, won’t he?’
‘Oh, yes, he said he would,’ said Tommy, brightening again. ‘Right, see you then, Sarah.’
‘Bye, Tommy.’ Sarah watched as he ran to his own front door and burst through. She was delighted and relieved to hear he’d passed his interview, as she knew how worried Danny had been about his young brother. He was a hothead – but so was Danny, even if he’d mellowed over the years, especially with the heavy responsibility of his work. Perhaps the same would be true for Tommy. She hoped so. Still, she couldn’t shake the chill that had come over her at the mention of Alfie Delaney’s name. She wondered if Danny knew he was back; he hadn’t said anything. Then again, perhaps he wouldn’t have told her even if he’d seen the odious man recently. Sarah was aware that Alfie had some kind of hold over Danny but she didn’t know what it was. She only knew that his return could mean nothing good – and might well portend something very bad indeed.
‘That seems to be all. Thank you, gentlemen – I do beg your pardon, ladies and gentlemen.’ The senior officer rose, and everyone crowded around the table in the meeting room rose as he headed out of the door. The others filed out behind him, but Frank put out a hand to detain Kitty. The only other Wren, Moira Butcher, turned to catch her eye, but Kitty shook her head. ‘I’ll catch up with you in a moment,’ she said, slightly annoyed as she was very busy, and yet conscious that the slightest touch of Frank’s hand had burnt through her uniform jacket like fire. That annoyed her too – she still couldn’t prevent it happening, couldn’t break that circuit.
‘I won’t keep you long,’ he said, his warm eyes gazing into hers.
‘Thank you, I have a lot to do this morning as I’m sure you will appreciate,’ she said in her most firm and professional manner.
‘Of course.’ Her heavy workload seemed to amuse him, and she felt like saying he could offer to share it if he found it so funny. ‘I must get back to my desk soon as well. No, I just wanted to say that I might have found your Tommy a bike.’
‘Oh, really?’ That stopped her in her tracks. Danny had all but promised one to Tommy, but they were hard to come by, and he’d been asking around everyone he knew these past few days. So far the only lead had come from Tommy himself, claiming that Alfie Delaney, no less, had offered to get him one. She and Danny were determined to avoid that at all costs. Nothing Alfie did was ever out of the goodness of his heart – that was if he even had one.
‘Yes, you know Commander Stephens has a young family? Maybe not; he doesn’t say much about them, as they’re over in Cheshire most of the time now and he misses them.’
‘He must do,’ said Kitty, remembering that the superior officer was a kind man, although he didn’t suffer fools gladly. But then Frank was no fool, and would only have seen the good side of him, she suspected.
‘His younger son was given a bike for his birthday, but it’s far too big for him,’ Frank went on. ‘They’ve found him a better one, one that’s the right size, and he’ll sell the first one at a bargain price as they don’t have room to keep it until the lad’s grown into it. How about that?’
Kitty felt a rush of happiness, knowing how much it would mean to Tommy. She felt she owed it to him to get this right, as he’d been so desperate to join the Merchant Navy and she didn’t want him to feel that his new situation was second best in any way. ‘Frank, that would be wonderful,’ she said.
‘I’ll let him know you’d like it, shall I?’ Frank offered, trying not to be distracted by the sudden gleam of delight in Kitty’s eyes and the way her cheeks blushed rosy pink at the idea of giving a present to her little brother. He knew how responsible she felt for him.
‘Oh, yes, please do that. I’m so grateful,’ she said, all her previous annoyance gone.
‘Right, I’ll see him later today. Come, let me hold the door for you, you have so many files in that stack you’re holding,’ he said.
Kitty expertly balanced the manila files on her hip as she manoeuvred through the door, relieved Frank was holding it open, knowing it would have been tricky on her own. The idea of dropping them all and their contents spilling out was mortifying. She brushed past him, but the narrowness of the doorframe meant that for one brief moment his arm was around her shoulder. She tried not to notice, but wondered if he had spotted it too. She took a quick breath and moved along the corridor.
Frank let the door swing closed behind him, relieved that for a moment he was behind Kitty and she couldn’t see his face. Just for a second there it was as if he’d had her in his arms. He told himself not to be silly. Why was he allowing himself to think like this? He had a date with Sylvia to look forward to this evening, and he had no business letting such thoughts enter his head. He took a longer stride to catch up with her.
The corridor was far from wide and he found himself holding back a little so he didn’t come into contact with her again, not wanting to cause her embarrassment. But he couldn’t come to a complete halt either; what if she thought his leg was bothering him? His pride wouldn’t allow that. So he carefully kept a respectable distance, while being ever more aware of how neatly her uniform fitted her. From this slight distance he could appreciate her curves, although he was trying hard not to notice. She was no longer the slim girl over the road he’d grown up with, that was for sure. Wartime diet or not, she had filled out in all the right places.
‘Frank?’ She turned a little to face him as she walked and he almost stumbled. He hoped there was no trace of his thoughts on his face but couldn’t be certain. ‘I have a few days of leave coming, but perhaps Commander Stephens could arrange everything with Danny?’
‘Yes, of course, that would be easy to do,’ Frank assured her, regaining his balance.
Kitty nodded. ‘That’s so kind of you to think of Tommy, Frank. He’ll appreciate it, he really will. We can’t keep him cooped up at home, and at least this way I’ll know he’ll get back safely.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ he said. ‘It’s no trouble—’
‘We couldn’t think how—’ she began, then she blushed even more in embarrassment as they both apologised for speaking over each other.
She paused to make sure he had finished, and gave an awkward laugh. ‘We were struggling to find a way to get a bike,’ she began again, ‘so thanks a lot, Frank …’ She looked as if she was about to say something more, when Moira from the meeting came striding back along the corridor to look for her.
‘Callaghan. There you are. Do you think you can spare a minute? One of the newer recruits has got herself in a right pickle.’
Kitty smiled at Frank and hurried after the other woman, leaving him with a strange mixture of emotions. He was pleased to help out, and Tommy was almost like a young brother to him, their two families had been so close for so long. But he couldn’t deny that the main feeling rushing through him was pleasure at bringing that look of happiness to Kitty’s face.