Jake
How stupid could he get?
Jake couldn’t believe he’d been thinking about proposing to Emma and now he was standing at the side of The Clock House stage in a tux, waiting to do his song in the Christmas show and she was back at Wren Cottage probably packing.
Earlier, when he’d looked up from the chairs he’d been setting out and spied her through the window, running across the green like she was running to a better life, he’d felt as if his heart was being ripped out.
He was so used to being dealt the hand of something or someone ‘better’ coming along but now he knew he’d started believing that they were each other’s ‘better’ coming along. Poking his head around the curtain at the side of the stage, he looked out past the audience, and as his gaze caught on the chandelier – that bloody chandelier – he cursed. Could not have been more wrong, could he?
‘Did you just use a profanity in the presence of a minor?’
Startled, Jake looked down at his side to see a boy about the age of eight or nine dressed as an elf.
The sight made him want to swear again. The last thing he was in the mood for was company.
Biting back another curse, he admitted, ‘You’re right, I did. And that was very wrong of me. Very wrong indeed.’
‘It’s all right.’ The boy grinned up at him. ‘I’m an elf anyway, so I’ll let it pass.’
‘Right.’
Jake went back to staring at the chandelier. He had to do the show … for the children, as Emma loved to say. But the end of this show – the end of this Christmas – now couldn’t come soon enough as far as he was concerned.
‘So have you got stage-fright?’ the elf whispered. ‘Is that why you swore?’
Jake gritted his teeth and said under his breath, ‘No, I swore because I let the love of my life slip through my fingers.’
He should have told Emma he loved her before practically shoving her back in the direction of Hollywood, shouldn’t he?
Should at least have given her the choice and given himself the chance of her choosing him.
‘That was pretty careless. Why didn’t you hold on tighter?’ said the boy, like he had the wisdom of Solomon or at least Old Man Isaac.
‘Because,’ Jake answered testily, ‘if you love someone you’re supposed to set them free.’
‘Huh?’
He’d wanted her to be happy.
And she’d been rejected for part after part yet every time she’d risen back up, all Terminator like, to brush off the hurt, and put herself out there again.
Someone who showed that much resilience deserved their happy ending.
‘Why don’t you just go and catch her again?’ asked the boy.
‘Because you can’t catch people who don’t want to be caught.’
‘Except for if you’re the police.’
Jake’s mouth formed a half-smile at the faultless logic and then found himself sighing again when his shadow said, ‘So you seriously let the love of your life slip through your fingers? Just like that?’
Jake looked down to find the boy shaking his head sadly at him and adding, ‘Because even I knew at age five when I asked Poppy Druthers on a play-date and she said no, that I should ask her if that was her final answer.’
‘And was it?’ he found himself asking.
The boy rolled his eyes. ‘You know I’m beginning to worry there’s not enough time between acts to tell you all the things you should already know by now – what with you being the adult here and me being an elf.’
‘Interesting. I’m not sure where a sarcasm act fits in a Christmas show,’ Jake said, looking behind him for the boy’s parents and thinking that possibly Gloria Pavey had a son walking around Whispers Wood that she didn’t know about.
‘Good job my act is comedy then,’ replied the elf.
‘Comedy? You’re sure about that, are you?’
The elf huffed out a, ‘Suddenly everyone’s a comedian,’ then said, ‘I’m a last minute stand-in … I’m guessing for The Love of Your Life?’
Not wanting to be reminded of how stupid he’d been, Jake said, ‘Unless you get a lot funnier, and a lot taller, I’m not sure you’re going to be anyone’s love of their life.’
‘First the swearing, then the elfism … I sincerely hope your act isn’t comedy.’
‘It’s singing.’ And he was carrying on this ridiculous conversation, other than the fact that it stopped him dwelling on how this was possibly – no, definitely – worse than last Christmas … because? ‘Look, do you absolutely have to stand next to me? Shouldn’t you be off practising your act or something?’
‘I’m checking the audience vibe. If my material goes down well, I’m thinking of applying for LGT.’
‘Don’t you mean BGT – Britain’s Got Talent?
‘Hello?’ The elf rolled his eyes and indicated the clothes he was wearing, ‘LGT – Lapland’s Got Talent.’
‘Funny guy.’
‘Elf,’ the boy corrected. ‘Funny elf. Boy, you’re hard work, but I guess if you’ve just had your heart broken, you’re not really my core audience,’ and then as if feeling sorry for him, he muttered not so softly under his breath that Jake couldn’t hear him, ‘#concerned.’
‘And is that,’ Jake made the hash-tag sign with his fingers, ‘concerned for my heart or for your act?’
‘Hey, us broken-hearted have to stick together.’
Ah. So Poppy Druthers had given him her final answer then. ‘She probably wasn’t sophisticated enough to understand the elf thing,’ he consoled.
‘Yeah, but back in ’13 I mostly dressed as Batman.’
Jake laughed and said with commiseration, ‘Girls!’
‘Unfathomable,’ the boy replied.
Yeah. He should have talked it out with Emma then and there, he thought. Why had he thought giving himself time to collect his words was a good thing?
Because she mattered and he hadn’t wanted to stuff up.
Hadn’t wanted to hear her argue on the side of going back to Hollywood and then hear himself lecture as he started to panic.
Adrenaline rushed through him as the knowledge that he should have thrown everything he had at trying to persuade her that she should stay slapped him about the face.
‘Hey, kid,’ he said, suddenly knowing what he had to do.
‘Elf!’
‘Right. Elf … How’s your singing voice?’
‘Not too bad. If the comedy doesn’t work out I’ve been thinking I could go the Zayn route.’
‘Okay, I kind of think the girls would be into that, but first, you want to sing my song for me?’
‘What’s your song?’
‘I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.’
‘Definitely not.’
‘It’ll make the girls go crazy.’
‘I couldn’t just do my comedy act?’
‘That would work too. I have to be somewhere. Tell Mrs McTravers something came up but that you’re taking my spot as well as The Love of My Life’s spot.’
He turned to go and there she was.
The Love of His Life.
Standing right in front of him.
She was breathing hard like she’d run all the way from Wren Cottage and his heart started beating really, alarmingly, fast.
Elf tugged on his sleeve. ‘Is this her?’
‘Yes,’ Jake replied, hating that he could see that she’d been crying but also thinking that she’d never looked more beautiful.
‘I’m no expert yet,’ Elf said, looking up at him, ‘but don’t you think you should do something other than stand here?’
‘Yes.’
As soon as he could get his act together he was going to drag her into his arms and tell her he loved her and ask her to stay and—
‘Jake? Oh, there you are sweetie,’ Trudie said. ‘Two minutes until you’re on—’ she stopped abruptly when she saw Emma standing in front of him. ‘Wow. Okay, well, um … yay,’ she said, lifting her hands in a sort of cheer as she stared at them uncertainly. ‘Um … so this is your two minute warning.’ She made hurrying motions with her hands. ‘Life’s short, talk fast.’
‘I choose you,’ Emma stated loudly.
‘I said talk fast, not talk loudly,’ Trudie whispered, pointing manically towards the act on stage.
‘Sorry,’ Emma whispered. ‘I choose you, Jake Knightley. I know you feel as if you don’t get chosen – that you didn’t get chosen to run the Hall and well, Alice…’
‘Who the—’
Jake put his hand over Elf’s mouth to stop the words and explained, ‘As a wise elf just taught me: Let’s not with the profanity when there’s children around.’
Elf gave a thumbs up and Jake removed his hand.
‘I know what it feels like not to get chosen, Jake, and I’m telling you that I choose you and Knightley Hall.’ She looked at him and when he didn’t speak, tossed her hair determinedly back over her shoulder, licked her lips and repeated, ‘I choose both – if you’ll both have me.’
‘You know it’s actually okay to choose everything,’ Jake finally answered. ‘If doing the film is really what you want … you’ll always have a home here … with me. You could fly back on weekends. I could fly to you.’
She shook her head. ‘Acting isn’t what I want to do. I didn’t really choose it – it chose me. When I was too young to really understand the spell I was casting and I clung to that magic because it was too scary to choose something real and I was too proud to let go. I’m not letting you go, Jake, so if you really don’t want to be with me, you’re going to have to do some pretty hardcore convincing.’
‘Don’t take his final answer unless it’s a “yes”,’ Elf helpfully asserted.
‘So,’ Trudie said, brushing away tears, ‘this all seems like it’s going really well but it’s time for you to get on that stage and sing your heart out, Jake.’
He had so much he wanted to say to Emma. So many kisses he needed to give her but Trudie was literally pushing him towards the stage now.
‘Stop,’ Emma insisted. ‘Don’t sing the song. Read this letter out instead.’
‘What?’ he looked down at the letter she thrust into his hand.
‘Trudie,’ Emma pleaded, ‘don’t cue the song. Let him read the letter, okay?’
‘Okay, but get on that stage now so I don’t have to fill.’
In a daze Jake walked to the edge of the curtain and stopped as Elf came up beside him, slipped his hand into his, and tugging him onto the stage, announced to the crowd, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, a guy in a tux and an elf walked into a bar…’