Sunday 24th December
In Rose Hill village: Gone shopping
‘So what colour roses?’ Rory’s staring at the array of buckets in the village shop. ‘Pink?’
‘Definitely not, Freya wasn’t girlie.’ As I look at the blur of colours, I know why I don’t usually do this. It’s because somehow nothing ever seems beautiful enough. ‘I was thinking yellow, but since you found the holly plant, I think the smaller white rosebuds.’
It’s only a short walk from the shop to the churchyard, with Gracie hanging onto my hand and skipping, while Rory carries Teddie. Not that I come here often. But I can make my way to the pale headstone by the end wall without even looking.
Rory stoops down and gets the tiny bush out of the bag, and pushes the pot into the ground. ‘It’s nice to find a holly with so many berries on. Look, Berry, there’s still frost on the grass too.’
I take out the roses and bind them with a black and white ribbon that came from the tree at Sophie and Saffy’s wedding. As I bend down and put them beside the pot of holly I’m sniffing away my tears. Then, as I get up, Rory’s spare arm comes around me and I bury my face in the soft Diesel-scented folds of his windcheater, and stay there for a long time.
When I finally prise myself away, we walk around the paths between the graves, taking a while to wind our way back to the world outside.
‘Are you very sad, Holses?’ Gracie’s hopping now, pulling on my hand. ‘Do you want your mummy?’ She stops tugging and begins to rub the sleeve of my furry leopard coat. ‘Don’t worry, your Feather Christmas presents will make you better.’
The corners of Rory’s eyes crinkle as he smiles at me over her head. ‘Berry’s thinking about someone she loved very much. And promising she’s going to be brave from now on.’
Gracie does another lurch forward. ‘Brave like you … going to the shops?’
‘Did I say that, Gracie?’ He laughs as he holds her spare hand to help her down the worn stone steps that lead back down to the pavement. ‘I’ll let you know if I’m brave or crazy, once we’re back.’
* *
In fact it’s hours, and many twinkly shops later, before Rory’s satisfied that the pile of carriers in the back of the beer-mobile is huge enough. For a reluctant shopper, he turns out to have a knack for seeing past the tinsel to find perfect gifts. He also manages to dodge to the tills without Gracie noticing what he’s carrying. Then we pop into the Fun Palace at the Crab and Pilchard for a late lunch, where Gracie’s way more interested in the food than the play area. She demolishes her own pizza on a slate, then works her way through our beer-battered fish and chips too.
And afterwards we go back to Brides by the Sea for our final stop of the day. We’re with Sera in her studio, with its lovely brick walls and fabric swatches, measuring Gracie for my own surprise present, when Jess comes rushing up the stairs.
‘Lovely, now you’re all here, I can tell you about the new plans for Christmas.’ Somehow she’s purring and beaming both at the same time. ‘It’s obviously going to be too much for Poppy to entertain at the farm as she is. So it’s all settled. Everything’s transferring to the Manor. You’re all invited, and there’s quite enough room for everyone to stay overnight. Lily and Kip will be there. Who knows, we might even persuade Jules to come too.’
However thrilled Jess looks, and however practical this is, I’m still worried. ‘How’s Poppy taking it?’
Jess pulls the corners of her mouth down. ‘She’s not happy. But we’ve all decided it’s the best thing for her and the baby. She turns to Rory. ‘You and the children will come, won’t you?’
Rory sends her a grateful grin. ‘Thanks, we’d love to. Sorry we’re a last-minute addition.’
From the way Jess squeezes his hand, she doesn’t mind at all. She goes all twinkly when she looks at Sera too. ‘The Manor’s the perfect place for you and Johnny to celebrate your first anniversary.’ It was this time last year when Sera and Johnny got together at her sister, Alice’s massive country-house Christmas wedding.
Sera pushes back her tangle of blonde curls, puts the tape measure back on the bench, and wipes her hands on the back of her ragged denim shorts. ‘Thanks, Jess, that couldn’t be better. But a whole year? I can’t believe it’s gone so fast.’
Jess narrows her eyes as she looks at me. ‘So, Holly, what’s all this nonsense I hear about you spending the day on your own?’ She doesn’t leave room to explain. ‘Bart’s orders. Even if we have to drag you, you’re coming. We won’t take “no” for an answer, okay?’ When Jess is this fierce, she’s damned scary.
‘Okay. Thank you, that’ll be brill.’ I daren’t say anything else. But to my surprise, I find I mean it.
Rory jumps in. ‘Seeing we’re the early risers, we’ll be round to pick you up at ten, Berry. Snow permitting.’ He grins at Jess. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t let her wriggle out of it.’
Sera’s eyes light up. ‘It was so beautiful when it snowed for Alice’s wedding. Even though it blocked the roads so no one could get there. Is snow on the forecast, then?’
Rory nods. ‘It probably isn’t going to happen. But if it does, Berry, we promise to battle through the drifts to reach you. Although obviously we won’t be able to set off until after we’ve built a snowman.’
Jess’s eyes are shining. ‘You absolutely have to come, Holly. Dress code is anything goes, so long as it includes a Christmas jumper.’
Rory narrows his eyes at me. ‘If you haven’t got one here, I’ll lend you one of mine.’
‘Lovely.’ Hopefully my enthusiasm hides that he read my thought balloon, yet again.
Jess inclines her head to me. ‘By the way, Holly, did Sera tell you Luc popped in looking for you earlier?’
Sera clasps her hand to her mouth. ‘Oops! Sorry, Hols.’ She’s well known for being ditsy, and this is why.
At least her apology gives me the time to cover up that my stomach just plummeted to the basement, then bounced back up again. After waiting all day yesterday, I’d given up hope. All I manage in reply is a gulp.
Jess is chiding me. ‘Why on earth didn’t you tell us he looks like a film star? Now we’ve seen him, we completely understand what all the fuss is about. You’re a hundred per cent right not to give up on that one, Holly.’ Her eyebrows are wiggling excitedly. ‘He’s at the Harbourside with a group of friends. There’s still all the time in the world for him to come good.’
Rory’s face falls as he takes hold of Gracie’s hand. ‘We’d better be off, then. Immie’s promised us tea and cake in return for a cuddle with Teddie while I wrap. We can’t turn down offers like that.’ He lets out a sigh. ‘Thanks for all the help, HB. We’ll see you first thing, then.’
Whatever hopes Jess had for Luc returning, they come to nothing. I work in the White Room until ten p.m., just in case. As I take a final look down the mews, I’m concentrating so hard that at first I read the flecks falling from the sky as reflections. By the time I’ve logged them as snowfall, they’re already a blizzard.