Chapter 12
Harper woke up sore. Her butt, legs, and back hurt from the sledding the day before. It had been fun, even though she hadn’t wanted it to be. Cody’s best friend, Samuel, had come over and had carried her sled up the big hill so she wouldn’t have to lug it herself. Sometimes, Justin did it too. Harper had caught his girlfriend, Cynthia, rolling her eyes. She was pretty with dark hair and super long lashes and could probably be a model. She was also kind of stuck up and annoyingly mushy around Justin.
When they’d gone shopping in Reno, Harper and Cody saw Cynthia and Justin kissing in the Macy’s parking lot. Cody made gagging noises and Harper laughed. Then they went and got lunch at a restaurant and Cody ordered two hamburgers and ate her leftover fries. Afterwards, they stopped at this giant store near the ranch and Clay got her cowboy boots—pink because that’s what she wanted—and a warm jacket because he said her red coat was too nice for feeding the horses. Kind of weird to buy something brand new to save something old but she wasn’t going to argue because she’d really wanted the jacket. It was just like Missy Templeton’s, only silver with pink trim to go with the boots.
Kristy had tried to talk her into the black jacket because she said silver would get dirty in the barn. But Drew said that’s what washing machines were for. Emily spent the whole time wiping her eyes and sniffling as if buying boots and a jacket were the most momentous thing in the world.
When they got home, they carried in more shopping bags than Harper had ever seen in her life. Emily told her and Cody not to peek and she and Kristy wrapped them while they were out sledding. When they came back there was hot chocolate and apple cake and Samuel got to stay for dinner.
She felt guilty for enjoying herself but told herself that her mom would want her to have a good Christmas even though she was dead. Harper just wished Maureen could see this place and wondered if she was looking down from heaven. What scared her was that maybe her mom hadn’t gone to heaven because she was a kidnapper and God had rules about that. But she wasn’t going to think about it now, especially because it was almost seven and she had to feed the horses.
She quickly put on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and her new boots and jacket and ran down the stairs. Something smelled amazing, like sugar and cinnamon, and it brought back a flood of hazy memories of her mother baking, which was odd because Maureen didn’t bake. Harper had been the baker. She’d learned in Girl Scouts and loved making the Toll House cookies from the back of the chocolate chip bag.
“You’re up?” Emily was in the kitchen.
“Clay said seven to feed the horses.” She hoped she hadn’t gotten it wrong.
“That’s great.” She gave Harper a quick glance, noted the new boots and jacket and smiled. “The boys are already out there. We’ll have breakfast as soon as you get back. You want one of us to go with you?”
“No,” she said, though she was a little nervous about doing it herself.
“Okay. Be careful.” Emily bent down to take whatever was baking out of the oven.
“What are those?”
Emily straightened and looked at her. “Snickerdoodles.”
“I think my mom used to make them when I was little. I used to love them so much that one year she made a giant one for my birthday party instead of a cake.”
“That was me,” Emily said and her voice trembled. “Wait here.”
She returned a few minutes later with a big photo album, set it down on the table, and began thumbing through the pages. Harper was getting nervous about the horses. She didn’t want to screw up her first time and have Clay think she was lame. Emily finally found what she was looking for and pointed to a picture of a bunch of kids sitting around a table. Sure enough, in the middle was a giant snickerdoodle.
“That’s you,” Emily said, and put her finger on a little girl in a yellow dress. “There’s Drew and me. Do you remember?”
Harper didn’t know why but she lied and said no, even though she sort of did. “Can I go now?”
Emily nodded and Harper was pretty sure she was crying. By the time Harper got outside, she realized she was crying too.
Later that afternoon, they went to town for a thing called a cookie swap. Harper had never heard of one before but everyone seemed pretty excited about it, even Drew and Kristy. There were tons of people walking from table to table, eating cookies, right in the middle of this park where all the shops and a big fancy inn were. Samuel’s brother’s wife owned the inn and he said she could go inside and look around at all the holiday decorations if she wanted to. Cody introduced her to a bunch of people as his sister, which was bizarre but kind of nice, even though they weren’t really related. A lady from the newspaper took their picture and said it would be on-line later. The counselor had warned her that reporters would be interested in her story and that she shouldn’t be afraid, that people would be happy for her. Happy? Her mother was dead, but whatever.
“Let me have a look at you.” An older woman who everyone seemed to know squatted down to stare at Harper. “You’re the spitting image of your mother. Just gorgeous.”
“Donna, give the girl some room to breathe,” Clay told the woman.
A bunch more people came to meet her, including Samuel’s brother, who was the police chief. He gave her a little squeeze and said, “Welcome to Nugget, Harper. We’re sure glad to have you.” His eyes got wet. To Harper he didn’t seem like the kind of man who cried but maybe he had allergies or something.
The police chief’s sister was even prettier than Cynthia and her boyfriend’s name was Griffin. He fixed cars for a living just like her dad used to do. He also owned a ton of houses and told Drew and Kristy they should buy one. There were so many people that Harper couldn’t remember all their names. She met some of the kids she’d be going to school with, including Katie who was a couple of years younger than Harper and lived at the ranch next to Clay’s.
By the time they went home, she’d eaten so many cookies she felt like barfing. Emily and Drew kept hugging her, which creeped her out but at the same time was okay she guessed. If someone stole her child she’d probably act the same way.
Emily made fried chicken for dinner and even Cody was too full to eat it. The adults did, though, and oohed and aahed so much that it made Harper curious about what she was missing. Emily promised to save her some for later, kissed her forehead, and told her to cuddle up on the couch to watch a Christmas movie. She said it used to be their tradition when Harper was a little girl. Again, Harper had a vague memory of it but couldn’t remember if it had just been a dream.
During the movie—the one about Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer—Emily and Drew sat with her and shared a blanket. When she looked over at Clay in the recliner he looked mad. But then he winked at her and she decided she was being a drama queen.
* * *
Christmas morning came too soon and Emily didn’t know how she’d managed to get everything done on time. Between the cookie swap, last-minute shopping, and meal preparations, she’d barely had time to get stockings stuffed and everything wrapped and under the tree. There’d also been a never-ending trail of visitors who’d come to meet Hope and wish them holiday cheer. Ordinarily, she would’ve reveled in a Nugget-style Christmas, where neighbors and friends showed up to deliver gifts and food offerings without calling first. But having Hope home was so new and precious that she wanted her all to herself. Then there was the fact that she was exhausted. Paige still kept them up at night. Although Clay had been great about shouldering the late feedings, even he was starting to fray around the edges.
She suspected it was more than just Paige’s sleeping habits or lack thereof, though he’d been wonderful with Hope. Of all of them, Emily got the feeling that Hope was most comfortable with Clay. Probably because he didn’t tiptoe around her. She and Drew were trying so hard to please her that sometimes it had the opposite effect. Still, even Drew seemed to have a better rapport with her than Emily did.
And soon, they’d have to hash out a custody arrangement, which Emily knew was going to kill her. She never wanted to be separated from her daughter again. It was bad enough that she was a stranger to Hope and that every piece of history they had together had been erased by Maureen and Duke.
“The kids went out to do their chores and Drew and Kristy are on their way over from the barn.” Clay took his field coat off and hung it on a hook in the mudroom.
“The French toast soufflé is in the oven. Coffee’s made, table is set, and Paige has been fed and changed. I’m good to go. How’s everything outside?”
“Snowy.”
He didn’t kiss her like he usually did when he came in from the barn.
“Something wrong?”
“Nope. Harper’s doing a good job. She’s still skittish around the animals though.”
“I don’t think Maureen and Duke had pets.” She went up on tiptoes and brushed her lips over his. “Merry Christmas.”
He hooked his arm around her waist. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
“I know it’s been stressful but things will calm down soon.” All she wanted was for Hope to fall into a rhythm on the ranch and for them to find their way back to being mother and daughter.
“Are you and Drew going to be able to come to terms on Hope’s living situation?”
Before she could answer the doorbell rang.
“That’s them,” Clay said. “I’ll let ’em in.”
“I’ll start the bacon.”
After breakfast, they began the gift opening ritual. Despite the admonition from the counselor not to overwhelm Hope with gifts, she’d gone a little nuts. With the boys and Paige too. Between that and Drew and Kristy’s presents, the kids were still tearing open wrapping paper well past noon. She loved the jacket, scarf, and earrings Clay had gotten her. In all the upheaval these past couple of weeks, the boys had managed to surprise her with a charm bracelet with miniature pictures of Justin, Cody, and Paige.
“We’ll have to add Harper,” Justin said, and the room got quiet. Hope suddenly became fixated on programming the new phone Drew had gotten her.
After everything was cleaned up they put Paige down for a nap and the kids went outside to try out Justin and Cody’s new drones. It was nice that they included Hope but Emily worried whether they would include her in the future. She was so different from the ranch kids they knew.
“I hate to do this on Christmas but we have to talk, Em.” Drew threw the last of the wrapping paper and mangled boxes into a garbage bag. “Kristy and I have to be at work on Tuesday, which means we have to leave sometime tomorrow.”
Emily’s heart sank and she looked to Clay for moral support.
“You want to discuss it in here or in my office in case the kids come back?” he asked.
“Your office sounds good.” Drew put his hand at the small of Kristy’s back and followed Clay through the hallway into a set of double doors. “This is nice.” He looked around at the framed pictures of the ranch harkening back to the Gold Rush and at the brown leather furniture that had worn well over multiple generations.
“Thanks,” Clay said, and pointed to the sofa. “Make yourselves comfortable. Anyone want a drink?” He walked to the small wet bar at the far end of the room and poured himself a healthy glass of Jack Daniels, Emily noticed.
The three of them shook their heads no. She took one of the wing chairs next to Clay and braced herself.
Drew turned to Emily. “I don’t want to be away from our daughter any more than you do but it makes sense that she goes to school here. It’s a safe, caring environment. Kristy and I can see that. The cookie swap Friday . . . well, it was like something out of Mayberry. And I’m afraid after Morton a place like the Bay Area will overwhelm Hope. But I can’t just be a Disneyland dad, Emily. And seven years is a lot time to catch up on. I’d like her on weekends but the drive back and forth will eat a whole day. So . . . I don’t know what to do.” He threw up his hands. “We’re thinking of getting a second place here, maybe telecommuting a day or two to work from Nugget.”
Emily couldn’t believe her ears. It was a hell of sacrifice, knowing that both he and Kristy were ambitious career lawyers. But it certainly worked in Emily’s favor. She glanced at Clay to see what he was thinking only to get a poker face.
“That would be wonderful. Can you afford a second home, though?” It really wasn’t her business. But she knew it cost a fortune to live in the Bay Area even on their big salaries and Kristy’s IVF treatments had probably eaten a good chunk of their savings.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, and she looked at Kristy for a read on her feelings about all this. Nothing. Her face was blank, which led Emily to believe that this transition was going to be tough on her.
Clay cleared his throat. “I have a plane. I can fly Hope back and forth.”
Emily wanted to nudge him into closing his mouth. She didn’t want to give her daughter up on weekends or holidays or summers where she’d be four hours away. It was selfish but she preferred the situation Drew proposed. That way Hope could hop from house to house just a few miles apart.
“Our friend, Griffin . . . his Sierra Heights . . . has beautiful homes. Homes you’d pay a few million for in Silicon Valley. They’re wonderful investments,” she said.
Clay seemed to stiffen and she had no idea why. This was the perfect solution.
“Kristy and I thought we’d drive over there tomorrow before we leave and take a look. If those are out of our budget, we’ll look in town.” Drew turned to Clay. “Thanks for the plane offer. It’s above and beyond but it’s not your responsibility to shuttle my kid.”
She could feel Clay chafe at the response, even though she knew Drew hadn’t said it to make him feel like an outsider. On numerous occasions, Drew had mentioned to her how generous Clay had been throughout the whole ordeal and what a good guy he was. She would tell Clay later when they had a moment to themselves.
“I can call Dana, our local real estate agent, and have her set something up for you tomorrow.”
“Emily, today’s Christmas,” Drew said.
“She won’t mind because it’s for Hope. That’s how this town works. We look out for one another.”
“Yeah, I noticed. That’s why I think it’s a good place for Hope,” he said. “Kristy and I are going to take a walk. Anything you’d like us to do before we go?”
“Nope. I’ve got dinner under control. What do you say we eat at five?”
“Sounds perfect.” Drew nodded at both Clay and Emily. “Thanks again for hosting us. This has been . . .” He choked up and Emily reached for his hand but Kristy briskly took it and pulled him out of the chair.
“We’ll see you at dinner,” she said.
After they left, Emily said, “Was it my imagination or was that weird?”
“What part of it?” Clay got up and poured himself another Jack. He usually didn’t drink hard liquor in the middle of the day. “The fact that your ex-husband wants to live next door or that his wife feels threatened? Because frankly I don’t blame her.”
Emily reeled back in surprise. “Threatened? By what?”
“Don’t tell me you’re that dense? Now that you have your daughter back what’s to stop the two of you from getting back together?”
“Is that what you think Kristy’s worried about or are you crazy enough to go there, too? My God, Clay. You, the boys, Paige, Hope are my everything. I love Drew like family but I’m madly in love with you. You’re the last person I want to see before I go to sleep at night and the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning. You’re my life. And everything we’ve built together here, on this ranch . . . I wouldn’t give up for anything. You’re my heart and soul and if you feel even one ounce of insecurity, I’ve failed you.”
In two steps, he had her wrapped in his arms. “Not you, me. I just love you so much. I never knew life could be this good until I met you. And when we had Paige and then found Hope in Morton . . . well, damn, it didn’t get any better than that.”
“No, it didn’t.” She breathed him in. Soap, whiskey, man. “And it’s only going to get better. But are you going to have a problem with Drew living here?”
He was quiet for a long time. Nestled against his wide chest all she could hear was his heartbeat. Then finally he said, “For your and Hope’s sake I’ll get used to it.”
“It won’t be full-time and I promise he’ll never come between us. Ever. As much as I’m in love with you, he’s in love with Kristy. I just hope she’s as understanding as you, because not having Hope go back and forth from here to the Bay Area means the world to me. The change for her is already so much. Living between two places with two different families after losing Maureen and Duke . . .” She let out a breath. “I just want her to feel that bond with me again.”
He lifted her chin and held her gaze. “She will. Just give her time.”
“And you? Are we good, Clay?”
“We are now. I guess I just needed some reassurance, which is stupid.”
Given that his late wife had been unfaithful throughout their marriage, Emily understood. The last few weeks would’ve been trying for any couple. But Clay was her rock and she wanted to be his.
“Good, because my feelings for you are unshakable.”
“Yeah?” His lips curved up in that signature cowboy grin that never failed to make her tummy dip and then he kissed her long and passionately.