How could she have let that slip?
Now what? How do you take back that what you just blurted out caused him to freeze, then roll away and walk to the bathroom without saying a word?
How do you stop the hurt?
She flopped her head back on the pillow and tried to figure out what to do.
When he came back into the bedroom, he climbed into bed next to her and pulled her close. “Gavin?”
“Don’t talk,” he said, and though his voice wasn’t soft, it wasn’t hard either. Just.... detached. “There’s nothing to be said right now.”
But there was in her eyes. She took it as his way to let it go. She didn’t want to. It went against everything she was to not keep talking, but since she didn’t know how to explain it, she listened to what he said and then fell asleep in his arms.
***
The next morning Gavin went downstairs to brew coffee while Jolene stayed in his bed.
What the hell was he supposed to do now? Did he feel something for her more than a one-night stand? Sure.
Did he love her? How the hell did he know?
He’d never been in a relationship before. Not anything serious.
He’d always had his eye on his future. On working and helping his mother and brothers. Being the man of the house.
Now that he didn’t feel the need to do that as much, he was ready for some freedom. But how do you tell that to a woman you just spent the most incredible night of your life with?
How do you tell her that you really don’t know what you want or feel and want to go back to the way things were before last night happened?
You don’t. Not without losing your best staff and hurting her feelings in the process. Two things he’d rather not have happen.
“About last night.”
He turned and saw her standing in the doorway to the kitchen with one of his shirts on hanging down to her knees. She looked all rumpled and sexy and all he wanted to do was carry her back upstairs and put her on her back again and do everything he did last night.
“What about it?” he asked. There was no way he could get her to stop talking about it twice.
“I didn’t mean to say that. It just slipped. The heat of the moment.”
He frowned. “Really?”
“Yeah. I kind of got lost in the feelings of what was going on. I haven’t even known you for two months. How could I possibly know if I love you or not?”
She smiled at him. Then she laughed. Should he feel insulted by that comment? If he wasn’t supposed to then someone should tell him because he wanted to call her a liar.
Only he didn’t because maybe he was making more out of the whole thing than it was. Maybe he was seeing something that wasn’t there.
Maybe he was stressing for no reason at all.
“I don’t want you to say that because you think I panicked.”
She laughed at him again. “There was no thinking at all. You did panic. Then you told me to stop talking.” She walked over and put her arms around him. “Really, Gavin. I didn’t even say I loved you. Just that I thought I did. What I really loved was how you made me feel and how I want you to make me feel again after you feed me breakfast.”
He leaned back and looked at her face. He wanted to believe her. She sounded sincere. She was giving him the out he’d been hoping for. Only for some reason, he was disappointed by it. “I can do that.”
***
Now Jolene truly knew what the walk of shame felt like as she made her way back into her apartment Sunday morning. Thankfully she didn’t have to work today and could nap.
“What happened to you last night?” April said. “I was worried. I tried to call the bar, but no one answered. I was afraid something happened.”
“Sorry,” she said, sitting on the couch across from April. “I spent the night with Gavin.”
“You did?” April asked all excited. As shy as April was, she wasn’t a virgin and hadn’t been for a long time. She’d been with a few guys in her quest to find a man to take care of her.
“I did. It was wonderful. I can’t believe I haven’t done it before.”
“You wanted it to mean something. It’s always better when it means something.”
“How many men have you slept with that didn’t mean something to you?” Jolene asked. She knew April had two boyfriends, one she’d lived with, one she hadn’t.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing I want to talk about. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way though.”
Jolene knew April wouldn’t say anymore, so she let it drop. “I hope it’s not awkward with us at work now.”
“Why would it be?”
“I slipped and told him I thought I was falling in love with him.”
“Oh boy. How did he react?”
She sighed. “He froze. Then when I went to talk about it, he said we didn’t need to. He wouldn’t give me a chance to explain. I fell asleep right after.”
“That had to hurt,” April said, sympathy filling her face.
“It did. But I realized that though he needs to be nudged now and again, it wasn’t the time to do it. I decided to go the opposite route and see how it plays out.”
“How’s that?”
“This morning I told him that there was no way I could know if I was in love with him or not. We hadn’t even known each other that long. That I just loved what he did more than anything and got my words all jumbled around.”
April laughed. “He bought that?”
“He seemed to. Brought me back upstairs and gave it to me better than the night before. Then he kissed me when I left and said he’d see me on Monday.”
“Good luck with that,” April said.
“Why?”
“Because it seems to me you’ve got your work cut out for you. First he kisses you, then he ignores you. Then he pretends like he didn’t ignore you. He kisses you again, you spend the night with him and then he hushes you when you want to talk about feelings. Sounds like high maintenance to me.”
She thought of what April just said, never realizing a man could be high maintenance before. “Nah. I’m not sure about that. He’s got some hurt feelings deep inside that need time to come out.”
“If you say so. I just hope you aren’t the one hurt in the end while you try to help him.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this under control.”