"Tell me," Jesse said. "How did you get published?"

Annika pulled her scarf tighter around her and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"I guess a few years ago. I was sitting around reading a book in Wet Ink and I thought, this book totally sucks. I can totally write a better story than this. And then I did."

"That easy, huh?"

She snorted. "You know nothing about the publishing industry if you think writing is easy."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"It's like every college football player thinking it will be easy to be drafted into the NFL."

Ouch. He inclined his head. "Touché."

"Anyway. After I wrote my first book I did a ton of research and from there I realized how little practical application was taught for writing in college. So, I started teaching classes on writing and marketing, and publishing as well."

Not a nurse but she'd done dang well for herself. It made him happy to see that. "I'm impressed. You've made a great career for yourself."

"Did you think I couldn't?"

He stopped walking and his mouth gaped open. She laughed and pushed her body into his.

"I'm teasing, Jess."

He chose his next words carefully. "I always knew you were destined for big things. It's just when I came back and saw you as a teacher I thought... I don't know."

"You thought I'd become a mom and wife and given up my dreams?"

Busted. "Something like that."

"Being a mom is what made me want to make something of myself. I wanted to show my-" She stopped.

Again, he got the feeling there was something she was hiding from him. "You okay?"

She coughed. "Yeah. I wanted to show that being a mom didn't mean you had to give up on your dreams."

"That sure sounds like you."

They laughed and headed to the entrance of Jerry's Burger shop. She stepped up to grab the door and her foot slipped on a patch of ice. She fell backward and Jesse caught her under her armpits. His knee groaned, but thankfully he kept his feet under him.

"Some things never change." He helped her upright and pointed to her footwear. "Do you even own a pair of boots?"

"What are you talking about? These are boots."

"Cowboy boots. Not snow boots." He shook his head. "Typical woman."

"Excuse you?"

"Fashion over function. Carrie's the same way. You should see some of the stuff she wears. Like that corset the other night? She couldn't bend or breathe in that thing. It was silly."

"Yeah, well these boots have lasted me since before the first time I met you."

"Those are the same boots?"

She lifted one and showed him a scrape down the back of it.

"Seriously? Those are the boots I accidentally scuffed with my cleats?"

She nodded. "These boots and I have been through a lot together. Even you trying to rip open my heel with your cleats."

He shook his head. "Damn. Well then, I apologize. Those are some great boots."

He opened the door and was struck with the scent of grilled meat and fries. Several patrons stopped to say hello to her and dozens more stared at Jesse.

"Do you ever get used to that?" She sat in a booth. "The staring?"

"Do you?"

"Oh, hey Professor Marshall, how are you tonight?" A hunky waiter approached smiling at Annika.

"I'm great, Austin. How are you?"

He winked at her like she was his cougar fantasy. "Wonderful. How did your signing go? Packed as usual?"

"There was a good crowd."

"I'm sorry I missed it." He looked Jesse up and down. "You guys decided on what you want?"

Jesse coughed to cover a laugh. The guy gushed all over Annika, but didn't even give Jesse the time of day.

"Yeah give us two Jerry burgers with grilled onions, extra pickles and two large orders of fries. I'll have a strawberry shake and a water, and she'll have a coke."

The waiter nodded and walked away but glanced back and smiled again.

Jesse leaned across the table. "See what I mean?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "No."

She really didn't have any idea how guys saw her. Even ones ten years younger. He snorted. "Of course you don't."

"You know, I think football was good for your brain," she said after a minute.

"What do you mean?"

"All those hits seem to have given you a fabulous memory."

"It's not hard to remember things about those you love. It's trying to forget that's the hard part." Cheesy Jesse. Way to make her uncomfortable.

She blushed again. "So, tell me something about your life. Something I couldn't read in the tabloids or be told by ESPN."

Jesse wracked his brain for something to tell her. "Well. I'm starting my own clothing line."

An incredulous smile crossed her face. "I don't remember you being such a fashionista."

"It's for kids. Part of the proceeds of every purchase will go to help buy proper helmets and padding for kids in underprivileged areas."

She sat in silence for a moment. "Jesse that's amazing."

He shrugged. "Kids get hurt all the time playing ball without the proper gear. I want to make sure no kids end up seriously injured because they couldn't afford a helmet that wasn't made twenty years ago."

She nodded. "Well... tell me as soon as the line goes live and I'll be your first customer."

Warmth spread through him. "I'll be sure to do that."

The waiter brought their food and Annika thanked him. The two sipped their drinks.

She poured some ketchup. "You could've gone to any college in the country. Why did you come back here?"

"The best two years of my life were here."

"But what about you're hometown?"

"Stanford said they'd be happy to have me, but I just… It's not who I am. One thing being in the NFL taught me, above everything else, is that I'm a simple guy. I don't need a movie star lifestyle to be happy."

She shoved several fries into her mouth. "Yeah, your house sure doesn't say movie star at all."

"Okay, I admit I got a bit more than I needed with the house, but it was a good investment. Under market, it needed some work. In the long run I'll be able to get more out of it than I paid."

He bit into his burger.

"What about you? I looked you up. Your books are a big deal. Bestseller lists all over the place. I'm sure you could provide a nice big house for yourself as well. Where do you live?"

"I'm in the townhouse."

His brows furrowed together. "The one down by campus?"

She nodded. It was the one they would have shared while finishing school if… he hadn't been drafted.

"It suites TJ and me. We don't need anything bigger."

"I didn't realize you had it."

"I rented it out to students when I was married but when we divorced we sold the house and split the money and I paid off the townhouse, and TJ and I moved into it. Makes things easier."

"A writer, a professor and a good businesswoman. Is there anything you don't do?"

"I don't cook."

He almost choked on his burger from laughing. "Yeah, I remember a lot of ramen nights at your place."

"I'll have you know TJ loves ramen."

He nodded. "I'm sure he does."

They sat in silence for several minutes eating their food. He tried to find the best way to form his next question, but no matter how he asked it, she'd see right through the disguise so he figured straightforward was the way to go.

"Soooo... Are you and Alistair..."

"Dating? Nope."

Relief washed through him. "Are you dating anyone?"

"Why?"

Because I am hoping you aren't. "I just wondered."

"Well, not that it's any of your business but no. I'm not."

"That's a surprise."

"Why?"

"Well, you're beautiful, smart, funny, talented. I would have assumed guys would be calling you left and right." He glanced around for the waiter and then leaned across the table and lowered his voice. "Please tell me there are no student boy toys you're hiding."

Annika couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Sorry, I'm not one of those kinds of girls. Trust me. Having kids tends to turn guys off."

"What? TJ's a great kid. If other guys can't see that, they don't deserve you. Or him."

She reached over and brushed the corner of his mouth with her thumb. The sensation shot straight to his groin and he choked back the words he wanted to say. The things he wanted to tell her.

"You… had ketchup… on your cheek..." She coughed and pulled her hand back but he caught it with his own.

"Anna." He caressed the back of her hand.

She slid her hand away and her gaze instantly cooled. "You surprise me."

Her words struck an unnaturally eerie chord with him. "How?"

"The guy I knew was way more honorable than this."

"Honorable? I don't follow."

She shook her head. "Sorry, but I have stuff I need to do before TJ comes home."

"Wait." He stood. "I don't understand. What just happened here?"

She stared at him for a moment as if searching his face. "You don't, do you?"

"Get what? Anna don't go. Tell me what I did, please."

"Carrie."

"What about her? Did she say something?" What did Carrie have to do with anything?

"Say something? You're concerned about her saying something to me? Wow, you're more like my ex, than I thought."

"Wait a minute, Anna-"

"This has to stop Jesse. And if you aren't willing to do it I am. What kind of woman do you think I am that I'd sit here and flirt with you while-" She held up her hands. "Tell Carrie I said Merry Christmas and when the new semester starts I think it would be best if we kept things strictly professional. No dropping in my class. No asking me for burgers and no getting my son's hopes up to go to your house. Please. Leave me alone." She passed him heading for the door.

"Wait. Anna. What did I do?" His gut wound tight and he forced himself not to chase after her. "Why won't you tell me?" he called.

He watched Annika burst out the door and across the street. He pulled on his hair and plopped back into his seat. What the hell had he done? He replayed their conversation trying to figure out what he'd done this time. And why was she comparing him to her ex-husband?

"Another failed date huh?"

His head whipped up to find the little blonde girl sitting across from him eating Annika's fries. Where had she come from?

She popped a fry into her mouth. "You don't seem to be very good at this."

"I thought I was, but I guess I was wrong." He stared at her for a minute. "You show up at the weirdest moments. Who are you?"

She smiled. "Lizzy."

"Lizzy? Lizzy who? Where are your parents? Do they know you are talking to a weird grown man? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"

"Serial killers are better at dating. They know all the right things to say to put a woman at ease. From your track record I'd say if you want to be a serial killer you need to get way better at it."

Jesse couldn't help but laugh. "You have a point. But seriously, where are your parents?"

"So what did you do this time?" She sipped the cola.

"How do you know it was my fault? Maybe it's her. She makes no sense."

"Tell me." Lizzy took the bun off Annika's burger and picked at the meat.

As strange as it was to talk to the little girl, Jesse had to talk to someone. "I'm not sure. I went to her book signing and it was great. I got her to sign the book basically admitting the story was about her and me, and then she said yes to burgers and things were great until I touched her- then it was just like the other night. She pulled away suddenly but this time she said something about my friend Carrie and how I wasn't honorable and I just... I don't know."

"Wait. Who's Carrie?" Lizzy's eyes widened with interest.

"She's my assistant and is helping me get settled here."

"Is she from here?"

"No she’s from Texas. She’s staying with me until she saves up enough money to go back to school."

Lizzy shook her head. "Oh, you poor silly man."

He leaned in. "Tell me. What am I missing?"

Lizzy stared at him for a minute. "Did you ever tell Annika about your situation with Carrie?"

"Our situation?"

"Yeah. Like the fact that you two aren't together? You're just friends."

He dipped a fry in his shake. "Well... no. Isn't it obvious?"

"Bless your heart." Lizzy drew the words out so long that Jesse knew exactly what she meant. "Jesse you are an idiot."

"I think maybe you might want to clear that up. When a man and woman live together and do everything together, people tend to think they are together. Annika’s father cheated on her mother. Her husband cheated on her. See where I’m going with this?"

Annika thought that he was with Carrie? All blood drained from his body. She thought he was cheating on Carrie the same way her own father had cheated on her mother. The way her ex had done to her.

"I thought you were more honorable than that." The words replayed in his head and he finally understood.

"Oh my gosh, I am a total idiot."

Lizzy giggled. "At least you're a teachable idiot."

"Lizzy, I love you."

She made a face like she'd smelled something rotten. "Okay, now that was creepy."

Without waiting Jesse pulled two twenties from his wallet, threw them on the table and ran for the door. He had to find Annika.

Halfway through a tub of frozen yogurt Annika's doorbell rang, and she looked up at the clock. Getting home she'd changed straight into her favorite pair of ratty pajamas, and headed for the freezer and that had been at ten fifteen. No one stopped by her place. Ever. It was too late for a social call. The bell rang again and she sighed. Whomever it was would just have to deal with her pajamas if they wanted her attention. She set the yogurt on the counter and crossed to the door. She squinted at the peephole and froze. Jesse.

"Anna, I know you're in there. Bettie is sitting outside next to your mommy car and the lights are on in your front room."

She looked around for a place to hide.

"Come on. I just want to talk."

Dammit. She finger-combed her hair and opened the door a crack.

"Jess. I’ve said everything I had to say."

"Yeah, you did. Like always. But I need to tell you something."

Annika leaned her head against the door and he knocked again. She shouldn't open it. Shouldn't let him try to explain whatever it was he felt he needed to this time. But maybe if she heard him out he'd finally let this thing go with her. Resigned she opened the door a crack.

“Jesse. I think-"

"I'm not dating Carrie."

Annika blinked several times. "What?"

"Carrie. She and I aren't together."

The information bombarded her like a bulldozer. “But… you two live together.”

“As friends. Good friends.”

“But, you came to Colorado together.”

“Yeah, I needed an assistant to help me get set up and she wanted to go back to school. I got her free tuition so she offered to work for me until next fall and then once she’s situated she'll have enough money to do what she wants.”

The words floated around in Annika’s head and she tried to organize them so she understood.

“You aren’t in a relationship?”

He leaned on the door, stepping closer to her. “No. We dated briefly a few years ago but she said she didn't want to be with me because she was sick of being compared to you.”

Thoughts and emotions swirled inside her. He wasn't with Carrie. He wasn't with Carrie.

"Annika, I know I left, but I'm not like your dad. I never cheated on you. I hope you know I'd never do something like that to anyone. But especially you."

"Todd did." Her heart thundered and she fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her.

Jesse pressed against the door and she backed up allowing it to open fully. He cupped her face. "I'm not Todd."

No. He wasn't. Without thinking she reached up and yanked his mouth to hers. He kissed her softly, his lips brushing hers, but he pulled him to her, hungry to feel his arms around her.

She parted her lips and their tongues met. Moaning he tangled his fingers in her hair. His scent invaded her and suddenly all she'd wanted for over a decade rushed back to her. Jesse. She wanted Jesse.

He closed the door behind them. Grabbing and kissing him she pulled him to the edge of the couch and fell back on it. Jesse fell on top of her and grunted. His weight atop hers was more familiar than she'd anticipated.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just my damn knee." He kissed his way down her throat to her collarbone.

Annika pressed his coat from his shoulders and began to untuck his shirt.

"Whoa. Anna. We should take this slow."

"Why? Fifteen years wasn’t slow enough?"

"True." Jesse grasped the back of his Henley and pulled it off. Then he lifted Annika's pajama top and carefully kissed his way up her belly to her breasts. He kissed over the tops of them nipping at her flesh through her lacy bra. Annika shivered as goosebumps pebbled her skin. She raked her fingers through his hair and pulled his mouth to hers again.

Jesse rolled off the couch and lifted Annika to her feet. His fingers caressed every inch of her flesh and his eyes devoured her as he peeled the remainder of her clothing off. Inch by inch he slid them across her bare skin making her belly pool with heat. Pregnancy had filled out her hips and when she wrapped her arms around herself he unfolded them and traced her lines with his palms.

"Don’t hide," he whispered in her ear. "You're beautiful." He nipped her ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth.

Annika moaned and her hands went to his belt buckle and fumbled with it. Man it had been a while since she'd done this.

"I've missed every inch of you," he said. "Missed the hollow of your throat. The freckles on your nose. The dip at the small of your back. The way your skin smells. Your hair spread across my pillow."

She unzipped his jeans and drove them and his underwear down. They caught on his leg brace and he stopped kissing her. She looked into his eyes and sadness assaulted her at the shame on his face.

She sat him down and unstrapped his leg brace, kissing over his scar. He watched her without saying a word.

"Do you know what I missed about you?" she asked. "I missed laying my head on your chest and swirling my fingers in your hair." She kissed up his thigh. "I missed feeling your warm body pressed against mine in the night." She kissed his hard abs. "I missed your one cold foot touching mine in the morning because you just had to have it out of the covers." She stood, looking into his eyes. "I missed the way you looked at me like I was your everything."

He cupped her face. "You still are my everything."

Jesse lifted her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers in such a way that her heart squeezed and left her with no doubt.

He shucked off his jeans the rest of the way and stepped out of his underwear. Holding her tight he carried her up the stairs. She worried that he might fall but he kept in complete control until he entered her room and laid her on the bed. She hadn't been with anyone in over two years and her body craved his touch.

Jesse had been her first. He'd taught her things that she'd never done before. And even now he still knew exactly what drove her to the edge of ecstasy.

She dug her fingers deep into his hair and pulled him up to meet her mouth.

"Jesse, make love to me," she panted.

He crawled atop her his body hard and ready.

She reached down and stroked him, making his breathing shudder.

His head dropped to her shoulder and he bit her lightly. "Do you have any protection?"

Annika kissed his ear, swirling her tongue around the outer rim knowing just how much that drove him crazy. He grabbed her hip tightly. "I have an IUD."

"Is that like birth control?"

She laughed and guided him to her core. "Yes."

"I just want you to know, I've always been safe," he said. "I'm clean."

"I've only ever been with you and Todd. And I got tested after he told me."

He kissed her hard as she swirled him closer and closer to her core.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to regret this."

Regret? There would be no regret. She needed this. Needed him.

She pushed her hips up to meet his. Jesse rocked forward and Annika struggled to keep back the tears of pain and happiness that having him again brought her.

He eased inside her, circling his hips gently. Annika gripped his firm backside, allowing her hands to mold to his muscles. Hard and tense, every magnificent inch of his body had been made even better by his time in the NFL. His butt tighter. His abs more packed than before. His shoulders chiseled and cut with precision.

Jess' rhythm increased and he kissed her harder. All the anguish, loneliness, and betrayals fell away. Quickly her body wound tight, it'd been too long since it'd experienced the release it so desperately craved.

Jesse rolled his hips higher on top of hers and she clutched him tight. She pulled his body into hers, faster and harder drawing closer to the edge. Pulsing started deep inside her and spread out in shockwaves until her body exploded and every muscle pulled taut. Jesse's head reared back as he climaxed alongside her. She rocked them both through their climaxes until they were spent.

Sweaty and vibrating with happiness she sucked in a huge breath and dragged his lips to hers. He wrapped his large arm around her and rolled on his side, pulling her with him.

Being with him was like the one thing she'd never felt before him or since. Home.

Jesse lay in Annika's bed with her wrapped in his arms as the sun peeked through the curtains. They'd made love half a dozen times throughout the night. Each time better than the last. They'd laughed. She'd cried. He'd held her until they'd fallen asleep. As he lay holding her once more a feeling of complete happiness rolled over him. She was his once more.

He kissed her head and slid out from underneath her. As much as he hated to leave her warm bed, he had to use the bathroom.

After using the restroom, he crept down the stairs and pulled on his underwear. Jesse searched the kitchen for a coffee maker and remembered Annika didn't drink coffee. So he headed to the cabinet and found the tea and two mugs. He set the kettle on to boil and wandered back into the front room. Picking up his clothes he put them in a pile on the coffee table. He stared at the old beast for a moment remembering when they'd found it on the side of the road and she'd insisted she'd make it into something great if they brought it home. But in fifteen years of having it, and she still hadn't done a thing to it.

He stopped at the bookcase in the corner and ran his fingers over the covers of Annika's novels that lined the top shelf. It'd been weird but also enlightening to read Dead Heat and see how she remembered him and had written him into her book. Even little mannerisms had made it into the book. It was strangely familiar the way she remembered him so well.

He stepped over to the mantel above the fireplace and searched the photos that adorned it. Photos of TJ, and photos of Annika and TJ. At Halloween. When he was a baby. At Disneyland. Jesse's gaze stopped at the photo on the end, and he froze. Annika stood holding TJ. He couldn't have been more than four at the time. Next to her, clinging to Annika's leg was a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed little girl.

Jesse plucked the frame from the mantel and snorted. "No way."

"Whatcha doing?" Annika descended the stairs wrapped in the bed sheet.

"This makes so much sense now."

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned. "What does?"

He showed her the photo. "The little girl. Lizzy. She's yours."

Annika's eyebrows drew together and she looked from him to the photo and back. "What are you talking about?"

"Lizzy. She's your daughter. Man, for a while there I thought I was going crazy, but this actually explains a lot. But... why have I never seen you with her. Does she live with her dad most of the time?"

Annika stared at him. Her mouth opened and closed, and then opened again. "Is this a joke?" The words came out barely above a whisper.

He laughed. "I have no idea. But man, it explains why she knows you as well as she does. She's amazingly intuitive for a child her age."

Annika raced across the front room and grabbed the picture frame, cradling it close to her chest. "Why are you talking like you know her?"

Tears formed in the corners of Annika's eyes and her breathing shuddered.

Something was wrong.

Jesse reached for her. "Because I've met her several times since coming back to town. She's the one who gave me the rosemary plant that I gave you."

"Stop."

"She's the one who helped me out the window the day I ran into you. And-"

"Stop! Just stop! This is sick, Jesse."

"Anna. I don't understand. What's wrong? You're shaking." He reached for her again but she backed away.

"She's dead, Jesse! Lizzy has been dead for three years."

All blood drained from Jesse's body as a chill ran through him. That made no sense.

"No... I.... I saw her yesterday. She's the one who told me to come talk to you about Carrie."

Annika shook her head and looked at the photo. "We were sledding before going to the town tree lighting ceremony. The sun was setting and Todd said she could go one more time. I told him no but he wouldn’t listen. Her sled veered off course. She ran head first into a tree."

"I'm not lying."

"You asked me what I’ve lost faith in. I lost faith in life. I’ve lost faith in the fact that my daughter will grow up to be a poet or a lawyer or a mom. I’ve lost faith in the powers that be that would take a poor innocent girl like that before her life had even begun."

"Anna-"

"Please, just... go." She raced up the stairs and slammed a door closed.

What the hell was going on? It wasn't possible. He'd seen the little girl. He'd talked to her. How could she be dead?

His heart hammered as he stared at the floor. The kettle whistled and Jesse let the noise fill him, drowning out the sounds of his heartbeat. Dead. Her daughter, Lizzy was dead.

Finally, he removed the kettle from the heat. He turned off the stove and then walked in a daze to his clothes and put them on.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He wanted to say something that would make it better, but he couldn't even understand what was happening himself.

Without a word Jesse snatched up his coat and headed out the door.