My second night in the lovely Rose Room was every bit as lacking in R&R as the first, even though Dorothy had gone to the trouble of making me one of her, usually unfailing, mugs of soothing, sweet Horlicks. Every time I found myself teetering on the precipice and about to fall asleep, my tempestuous thoughts dragged me back and left me tossing and turning and wrapping myself even more tightly in the high-thread-count sheets.
Not content with just mulling over my own problems, I found myself dissecting snatches of the conversation I had overheard between Jamie and Gabe after lunch. It was Jamie’s concerned tone that first attracted my attention and his words quickly ensured my curiosity was well and truly piqued.
‘Are you absolutely sure you’re up to doing this, Gabe?’ he had asked.
Initially, I had thought there was some hiccup with him helping out with my impending move. If that were the case, he needn’t worry, because I was fairly certain that if push came to shove, Mick and I would be able to manage it between us. Most of my things were in the Wynthorpe attics already. However, it quickly became obvious that wasn’t what he was getting at at all.
‘Yes, mate,’ Gabe responded sounding resolute. ‘I told you, I can handle it. Otherwise I wouldn’t have said yes, would I?’
‘Because this job isn’t for the faint-hearted,’ Jamie continued. ‘It’s been a steep learning curve, even for me, and even after everything I dealt with out in Africa.’
‘I know,’ Gabe sighed. ‘You said.’
‘And those kids we were talking about over lunch, they’re just the tip of the iceberg, and I would hate to—’
‘I know exactly what you would hate to do,’ Gabe cut in. He was beginning to sound frustrated. ‘You’ve told me a hundred times, at least.’
I couldn’t help but wonder what it was they had been talking about. Surely if Jamie had doubts about his friend’s ability to do the job, he wouldn’t have offered it to him in the first place? The children who benefited from the charity needed stability, routine and the reassurance that, if they needed to return to us, they would come back to the team they had already bonded with. If Jamie didn’t think that Gabe could offer that then I was fairly certain he wouldn’t have asked him to join the workforce at all.
‘I can do this,’ said Gabe, sounding calmer again and, if anything, even more determined. ‘I need to do it for myself as much as the kids. I know what they need. I can help them.’
This exchange obviously had something to do with the baggage Gabe insisted upon keeping zipped. As curious as I was to know the finer details, eavesdropping was underhand and I decided it was time to draw a line under my listening-in.
‘Have you two finished clearing those dishes yet?’ I called through from the kitchen.
My timely prod stemmed the chat and got them back on task, but it didn’t stop me from wondering during the wee small hours what it had all been about.
‘Right!’ said Mick, clapping his hands together at the kitchen table the next morning. ‘Are we all ready for this then?’
‘Have you made a list, Hayley?’ Dorothy asked, shoving a pen and shopping pad under my nose, ‘because I reckon that, after today, you won’t want to go back again, will you? This is your one chance to get everything out.’
‘The truck’s all set,’ said Gabe, marching in, ‘and Bran’s going to stay here. He takes up too much space to be involved in Operation Rescue.’
‘Operation Rescue?’ I frowned.
My friends might have been excited that I was finally joining them under the Wynthorpe roof, but I was still trying to get my head around the fact that Mum had asked me to stay away.
‘And have you thought about what you’re going to say to Gavin if you bump into him?’ asked Anna.
They had obviously all been chatting in my absence and had planned the trip into town with military precision, factoring in every possible scenario.
‘Guys,’ I said, holding up my hands. ‘As much as I appreciate your help, there’s really no need for all this fuss. Everything’s going to be swift and simple: Mum will be at work, Dad’s too lazy to get out of his bed, Gavin will have long been on-site, and I’ve already moved more stuff here than I’ve left behind. An SAS-style manoeuvre is really not required.’
‘Yeah, I’ve heard that before,’ said Mick, no doubt harking back to his time in the armed forces. ‘We leave in precisely ten minutes.’
‘Good luck,’ said Anna, squeezing my shoulder and kissing my cheek. ‘I know Catherine and Angus have been asking you to do this for ever and I really believe that now’s the perfect time for you to start living life for yourself, Hayley.’
She seemed to have forgotten that my hand was being somewhat forced into taking the independent route.
‘I suppose it will be convenient to be more on-hand for work,’ I shrugged, making light of the positive spin she was trying to put on the situation. ‘The vacuum cleaner will never be far from sight if I’m living here, will it?’
‘That’s not what I meant and you know it,’ she said, adamantly shaking her head, before adding in a whispered undertone, ‘Besides, Molly reckons something amazing is going to come charging over the horizon for you very soon.’
‘Yes, well,’ I smiled ruefully, ‘she also reckoned love was going to feature in my life this year, didn’t she? I’m not so sure about our friend’s interpretation of the tarot anymore.’
‘She said it would feature dramatically,’ Anna reminded me with a nudge. ‘You can’t say she was wrong about that.’
‘That’s true,’ I relented, ‘but my guess is the only thing set to charge over my horizon is my father’s wrath, which will be heading straight for me when he realises I’m no longer going to be on-hand to sub his trips to the pub.’
Anna’s brow creased in concern and I wondered what else my two friends had been saying about me when I was out of earshot.
‘We want only good things for you,’ she said, echoing what I had heard Molly say to other people. ‘Because we love you,’ she added with a swallow.
‘Now, don’t start all that,’ I told her sternly. ‘The old Hayley is back, remember? Keep saying things like that and you’ll have me blubbing and turning soft again.’
My heart sank when I opened the back door and spotted Mum’s coat and bag in its allotted place, flung over a kitchen chair. I don’t know why she had a table and chairs in the kitchen; she rarely ate at it and Dad never did. It had been a tray in front of the TV for as long as I could remember.
I’d left Mick and Gabe parked in the truck outside, insisting that I needed to get the lay of the land before we put Operation Rescue into practice. If there were words to be had, I would rather they were done out of everyone else’s earshot, and the fact that Mum hadn’t gone into work warned me that words were imminent.
‘Hayley!’ she called furtively from one of the other rooms. ‘Is that you?’
I took a deep breath, pulled back my shoulders and checked my impenetrable superpower suit was still in situ.
‘Yep,’ I said, bracing myself for impact. ‘It’s me.’
‘What are you doing here?’ she muttered, racing through to the kitchen and closing the door behind her. ‘Did you not get my message?’
‘Of course I did,’ I hissed. ‘That’s why I’ve come.’
‘What?’
‘You’ve obviously sided with Dad over what’s happened,’ I sniffed, trying not to think about how hard I’d worked to repair my relationship with her, ‘and so I’ve decided to move out. I’m moving up to the hall.’
Her hands were shaking as she reached for a cigarette and lit it.
‘But what about Gavin?’ she asked.
‘What about him?’
‘He told me he’s prepared to forgive you for going off with some random fella and that he’s going to mend his ways.’
‘And you believe him?’
She took a long drag on her cigarette.
‘My god!’ I burst out, not caring whether I roused the snoring beast above or not. ‘I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that you think I’d just go off with some stranger to get my own back, or that I should just accept what Gavin has been up to and carry on like nothing happened!’
She shook her head and stubbed out her cigarette.
‘I don’t think that,’ she said, pointing at the ceiling to remind me to keep my voice down.
‘What?’ I frowned, lowering my voice.
‘I couldn’t say so in the message because your father blundered in,’ she said, ‘and I didn’t ring you again because I thought that if you believed I’d sided with him then you’d stay away and save yourself an ear bashing.’
‘So, you don’t think I should take Gavin back?’
‘And have him treat you little better than your father treats me?’ she said bitterly. ‘Certainly not!’
‘And what about moving out?’ I asked, trying to take in what she was saying. ‘Do you think I should?’
‘Oh, I do,’ she told me. ‘I want you to do that more than anything.’
‘But I don’t understand,’ I frowned. ‘You won’t be able to cope living here on your own with Dad. You need me here. I’m the go-between, remember?’
‘Exactly,’ she said, ‘and if you’re here then I’ll never find the strength to leave and even if I did, how could I go knowing I was leaving you here with him?’
‘Are you saying that you want me to go, so that you can go?’
‘That’s about the size of it,’ she said, lighting another cigarette.
I couldn’t believe it.
‘I’ve wasted the best part of twenty years siding with your father just to keep the peace,’ she said severely. ‘I’ve ruined my relationship with you because of him and I’ve never stood up for myself. Until now.’
‘You haven’t ruined our relationship, Mum,’ I swallowed.
She nodded but didn’t comment.
‘So, what will you do?’ I asked. ‘Have you thought it all through?’
‘Not yet,’ she said, ‘but I’m starting to. I began mulling it all over when we got back from the party and he started slagging you off for leaving.’
‘Good on you, Mum,’ I interrupted. I didn’t want to hear any more about what had been said. ‘It’s about time!’
She looked almost excited. Now her decision had been made, a weight had been lifted and I knew that, when the time came, she wouldn’t have any regrets about going.
‘I better get on,’ she said, jumping up and grabbing her coat and bag. ‘I’m going to need the best references I can get if I want another job. Don’t tell anyone about this, will you, Hayley?’
‘Of course not.’
I knew we couldn’t risk word getting back to Dad.
‘And don’t worry about me, love,’ she said, opening the back door before I had time to say anything. ‘I’m going to be fine. I’ll be in touch.’
Needless to say, I didn’t speak to my father who was still snoring in bed despite the raised words Mum and I had earlier, and with Mick and Gabe waiting outside to ferry what little I wanted to take to the truck, I was packed and done in no time.
‘If you aren’t in a rush,’ I said to my removal team after I had tossed my key on the table and slammed the ill-fitting door for what I guessed would be the last time, ‘I have just one more thing I need to do.’
‘Hayley,’ said Evelyn, when I popped my head around the pub’s back door. ‘Come on in.’
I was rather pleased I had turned up ahead of opening time. I didn’t have quite enough swagger to manage a walk through the bar just yet.
‘Jim’s in the cellar,’ she told me, ‘he’ll be up in a minute. Come in and have a coffee.’
‘I don’t want to put you to any trouble,’ I told her.
Evelyn wasn’t known around Wynbridge for her hearty hospitality, even though she was the landlady of the most popular pub in town.
‘It’s no bother,’ she told me. ‘I’m in the middle of making one for us.’
‘I’ve come to settle up,’ I told her and Jim a few minutes later as we sat in the empty bar. With no access to our savings, I knew Gavin wouldn’t have done it, even if he did have some money left from Angus’s loan. ‘I want to pay for the buffet and any damage you may have incurred ejecting certain punters from the premises.’
Jim shook his head.
‘There was no damage,’ he told me. ‘Unless you count the dent I gave to Gavin’s ego as I bumped him out of the gents and into the bar.’
‘And I don’t think we can put a price on that,’ winked Evelyn.
I knew it wasn’t funny, especially given the situation, but I couldn’t stop the laughter escaping my lips as I imagined my pathetic Prince Charming being frog-marched into the bar with his jeans around his knees.
‘But the buffet,’ I insisted, ‘and the cake?’
‘The buffet is on me,’ said Evelyn. ‘It was a timely reminder of why I stopped serving eggs. The kitchen still stinks.’
I didn’t mention that I had heard that she’d launched most of them, which no doubt accounted for the lingering pong.
‘But there was a lot of food,’ I tried again.
‘And it all got eaten,’ Jim told me. ‘It’s all done. Forget it.’
‘Well, thank you,’ I said. ‘Thank you, both. It was hardly how I expected the evening to end.’
‘You’re better off without him,’ Jim blurted out. ‘I did try to tell you.’
‘Indeed, you did,’ I agreed, thinking back to the quiet word he’d had with me all those months ago, when Gavin and I came in together for a drink.
Like Mick, Jim had warned me that my date had a reputation, but I had shrugged it off.
‘I for one have never liked the lad,’ put in Evelyn. ‘And not just because of his reputation. You mark my words,’ she told me, ‘if you’d married him you’d have ended up just like your mother.’
I shuddered at the thought.
‘Evelyn!’ scolded Jim.
‘No,’ I said, ‘she’s right. Perish the thought.’
I thought of the struggle Mum would now face. Finding another job to make ends meet wasn’t going to be easy. She didn’t drive and I hadn’t thought to ask if she was planning to stay in the area. Part of me hoped she wouldn’t. A completely fresh start out of Dad’s reach would be the best thing for her.
‘Thank you, both, for being so understanding,’ I said, finishing my coffee. ‘I’d better head off. I need to go and settle up with Jemma.’
‘Oh,’ said Jim, shifting in his seat, ‘about the cake.’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve paid for that as well?’
‘Had to,’ he shrugged.
‘What?’ This really was too much. There was no need for him to have done that.
‘After he’d shoved Gavin’s face in it,’ Evelyn tutted, ‘he didn’t have much choice, did he? He all but obliterated the frosting.’
I decided there was no answer to that and, promising that I would come back and brave a proper drink at the pub soon, I left.
I had just emerged when Gavin’s van screeched into the market square and shuddered to a halt, drawing curious glances from the traders.
‘Hayley! Wait up!’
I ignored him.
‘Wait!’ he called again as I tried to spot where Gabe had parked. ‘We need to talk.’
‘No,’ I said, pulling free as he caught up with me and made a grab for my hand, ‘we don’t. What could we possibly have to say to each other, and anyway, how did you know I was here?’
‘Your neighbour Tracey called me. She said you were moving your stuff out. I’ve just been round to yours. What’s going on?’
I didn’t bother asking why my pretty neighbour had my ex’s number.
‘I’m moving to Wynthorpe Hall.’
‘But what about us?’
‘There is no us, you idiot,’ I all but screeched. ‘Have you already forgotten what you did, Gavin? Have you forgotten the messages you left on my phone?’
‘I was upset,’ he said, his tone suggesting that I should have factored his feelings into the equation. ‘I was angry.’
‘But you had no right to be,’ I tried to tell him, ‘you were the one in the wrong and yet you blamed me! Surely I should be the one to have first dibs on feeling upset and angry.’
‘I found out you’d been seen going off with some other bloke,’ he said, ‘I was pissed off.’
‘What?’ That was no doubt the moment that kicked off the change of tone in his texts. ‘But you were the one who had been seen with your knob . . .’ I began, but then stopped myself.
‘Look,’ he said, ‘can we forget about that, just for a second.’
‘Believe me,’ I told him, ‘I would love to.’
‘I thought,’ he said, fixing me with the blue gaze I had once found so beguiling, ‘that if I left you alone, once you’d calmed down and got your own back with this other guy, then we’d be able to work things out.’
He really didn’t know me at all.
‘So, let me get this straight: you fired off those texts in a fit of temper after you assumed I had gone off with some other bloke as payback, and now you’re thinking we can put it behind us, go to the vicar and set a date?’
For the first time since he’d jumped out of his van, the idiot looked slightly less sure of himself.
‘Is that not what you want?’ he still had the audacity to ask. ‘I’m willing to forgive and forget if you are.’
I didn’t have the impetus to try to tell him that I’d done nothing wrong; that I didn’t need his absolution because I hadn’t committed a crime.
‘No, Gavin,’ I said, simply, instead. ‘That isn’t what I want. Our engagement is off, our relationship is over.’
I was amazed that he could look so surprised. Did the fool really expect me to commit to spending the rest of my life with him in light of everything he’d done? He chewed his lip for a second as a steely glaze crept over his eyes.
‘In that case, I’ll need the ring back,’ he said gruffly, thrusting his hands into his work trouser pockets and rocking back on his heels.
‘I haven’t got it,’ I told him, showing him my fingers, which were devoid of any adornment.
‘But I’m still paying for it,’ he moaned. ‘I’m going to have to flog it and put the money towards the repayments.’
‘Hang on,’ I said. ‘You had a more than generous loan from Angus to buy that ring so how come you’re making repayments?’
He didn’t answer.
‘What did you do with the money he gave you?’ I demanded.
‘That’s none of your business now,’ he snapped, ‘but I’ll need that ring.’
‘I haven’t got it,’ I said again, thrusting out my chin.
‘Well, you’d better get it,’ he said, darting forward and making a grab for my wrist.
I was about to jump back when he was suddenly knocked to the ground.
‘What the hell?’ I heard him squawk, face down on the pavement with Gabe’s hand around the back of his head.
‘Sorry, mate,’ said Gabe, pulling him up roughly by the scruff of his neck. ‘I wasn’t watching where I was going. No harm done, is there?’
Apparently, Gabe the guardian angel could slip unseen into any situation. It was quite a party trick for someone his size.
‘No,’ said Gavin, brushing down his trousers, and glaring at Gabe, ‘no harm done.’
‘Hayley!’ called Mick. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Yep,’ I called back. ‘On my way.’
As I walked over to the truck with Gabe hot on my heels, I could feel Gavin’s gaze burning into the back of my head.
‘Hopefully that’ll be the end of it,’ said Mick, opening the door so I could climb in.
‘Hopefully,’ I said back, but I wasn’t so sure.