CARLYLE

Numb to the world flashing by around me, I let myself be pulled into Dair’s siphon.

He deposited me on the dove gray leather couch in the living room of the beach house, then Killian and Jai only a few seconds later. Sol was still driving the bus of kids south along the coast, with Jai tracking him on his phone just in case.

I coughed up a laugh at how normal it all looked, like we were just a bunch of friends, hanging out with nothing to do.

Not like we’d just killed a dozen or more people, rescued a bus load of kids, and burned a circus to the ground.

Kana joined us, and I kept staring around the group, counting and recounting. It just wasn’t enough. My eyes darted between them over and over, obsessively tallying our numbers. One, two, three...

I kept going, but every time I counted I came up short.

“What a goddamn mess,” said Killian quietly. "How did tha’ happen?"

None of us answered for way too long. None of them voiced their doubts, but they hung in the air between us like a black cloud of distrust. I knew Jack would never have betrayed us. Why didn’t they?

It worried me that I knew him less than his brothers, yet I trusted him more.

All I had to go on was a gut instinct. Although that had rarely failed me, I’d never been in shit quite this deep before. As I looked around at the others, I saw similar emotion flickering across their faces. None of us wanted to believe the worst of our friend, our brother. My mate.

My eyes snagged on Kana, and my heart stopped as I saw the hesitance lurking more heavily in her eyes.

"I know nobody wants to hear this," she began. Her voice trembled a little bit, and someone behind me let loose a low growl. I thought it might have been Killian, but I really didn't know for sure. It could have even been me. I couldn't take my eyes off the dark-haired girl.

"What if Jack has been gone too long? What if he's gone too far rogue?" she asked. Her gaze drifted to the beach, where Toro was still in his magical enclosure. He was prime evidence of how far going rogue could take a person. She’d already told us how he’d flipped out and tried to spear her when she was feeding him.

Could Jack have gone the same way, or worse?

"Jack would na do that," Killian insisted, his voice sharp. My heart went out to the redheaded fae, because he and I shared the same thought process. There was no fucking way Jack could have set us up for an ambush.

"The Ringmaster has to be just controlling him somehow," I insisted. If he had done anything against us, surely it was because he’d had no other choice. Knowing something had broken Jack that badly would still be hard to take, but not nearly as hard as the idea that he’d switched his loyalty.

"The Ringmaster is so much more powerful than any of you have seen," Kana said. Her voice was low and rough, filled with the sort of dark memories I wasn’t sure she’d ever want to tell us about. "He has ways to control people that none of you have even dreamed of. He has more people on his side than any of us know. There are even rumors that he’s in league with the Haretian Council."

Jai snarled and slammed his fist against the coffee table, cracking the thick wood. "If that hell spawn mage is somehow in league with the Haretian Council, then we will cut them all down together."

Kana sighed, her jaw clenched as she shook her head sadly at her brother. "Until we have other information, I think you need to assume the worst has happened with Jack. Either he's incapable of helping us, or he's unwilling to help us, which makes him a threat."

“We need to go after him. He’s in trouble,” I insisted. “He would never side with the Ringmaster - I know it.”

“The Ringmaster has his dragon ring,” Dair said, his tone firm. Everyone else seemed to nod, as though that decided everything.

“Explain,” I demanded.

“A dragon’s ring is his immortality, Cariño. His single greatest treasure. It cannot be taken by force - only gifted by the dragon who owns it.”

I gaped at him. Well, fuck. Jack had given the Ringmaster his immortality? His life, effectively?

“Why would he do such a thing?”

Nobody answered me, and the silence dragged on.

Something the harpy girl had said came back to me - that Jack had chosen himself this time. I shook my head. If he’d chosen himself over any of us, there had to be a good reason. I wasn’t ready to abandon him.

“We need to go after him - we have to at least find out why,” I begged.

“No,” Jai said, the word like a gut punch. “We are too weak. Whatever choice Jack has made, he must now live with. I refuse to continue placing my team in danger for him. Your safety is more important than his.” He gave me a hard look, showing why he was leader - so he could make the toughest calls.

Fury began to simmer in my chest, though, and all the energy the Ringmaster had pushed into me with that stupid ring came surging forward. I didn’t agree with his call. “Fine. I’ll go by myself.” I pushed out of my chair, ready to follow through immediately.

Jai’s voice was lethal. “If you want to remain part of this team, you’ll do as you’re told.”

Kana bristled beside me, but I shoved a finger into her arm, warning her to let me fight her brother on my own.

I fixed him in my gaze, my hands on my hips. “Exactly how many fucks do you think I give about your orders? Team or not, you’re wrong, boss. I’m just the only one with the balls to tell you so.”

His eyes began to dilate, the black spreading past his pupils and irises, taking over the white space. “We need more intel,” he said, emphasizing each word carefully, as though he was fucking close to losing control.

Yeah, well, he wasn’t the only one. “I don’t give a good goddamn about your fucking intel,” I yelled. “Sometimes you just have to move your shit and hope the world doesn’t fall down around you.”

“How exactly are you going to get to Texas, Car?” Kana asked, trying to be the voice of reason. I just shrugged. I could figure it out - I’d gotten myself from city to city plenty of times before meeting all of them and their magic.

“I’m not going to leave him behind. I don’t care what the fuck the rest of you do, but I’m going right back in,” I said, my voice like steel. I loved each of these men in their own way, but I’d be goddamned if I was going to let them forget how much Jack was part of their team, and part of my heart.

“Don’t even think this is like last time, either. I’m not lying about what I’m doing or tricking anyone - but you still can’t stop me from doing it.”

I stalked the hell out of the living room, ignoring Dair’s entreaties for me to return, and the low-key hissing that I thought was coming from Jai’s throat.

Well, what the fuck ever.

They might have been a team for a hundred years, but I knew parts of Jack’s heart they’d never glimpsed.

I carried a piece of him inside me right now, and no matter what, I wasn’t leaving my man behind.

I didn't wait around to hear the rest of the argument, because nothing they might decide would matter one fucking bit. I shoved past everyone, out the door, and onto the cold sand of the moonlit beach. I hoped to fuck nobody followed me, because I would probably tear them a new hole.

Sure enough, though, footsteps echoed on the deck above me, and I whirled, ready to fight

“Don’t try to stop me,” I snapped up at Killian, even though he was the last one I’d expected to try.

“Donna expect me to try,” he sneered, confirming my suspicions. “Me, I just want to know your plan of action.”

I narrowed my eyes up at him, considering. Then I started down toward the water’s edge, on the opposite side of where Toro was being kept. If Killian really wanted to talk, he could follow me. I grinned to myself when I heard him curse and hustle to catch up.

“I saw where they were going when I got pulled into their siphon. I could find it,” I said, slipping off my shoes and wading into the water. It was soothing to let the waves suck at my ankles.

“You donna have the magic for siphoning,” he pointed out. I nodded, knowing that was my biggest hurdle. We didn’t have a vehicle at all right now, since we’d left the van in Savannah. Sol would arrive soon enough with the bus, but that thing would take forever to get to Texas.

“Too bad we haven’t picked up your car,” I joked half-heartedly. He huffed out a breath, picking up a flat piece of shell and skipping it across the water.

“Guess you’ll have ta hitch,” he said.

“I’ve done it before. It would be even easier now, with Sol’s strength to protect me.” It wasn’t a threat, but he flinched like I’d smacked him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but a shout from the house pulled our attention backward. Sol stood on the deck, calling my name. Behind him, I could see a flurry of movement through the house’s lighted windows.

“The kids,” I murmured, sighing. We had too much to deal with. I wanted to help these kids, really I did. I just didn’t want to push Jack aside again. We’d done it to save Toro, and we’d done it to gather more intel to be safe.

Neither had given us any advantage.

I started for the house, my eyes on the sand. “I’m going tonight,” I whispered to Killian. “You can tell the others or not, but I’m not waiting again.” My dragon needed me.

Killian was silent as we reached the house and Sol swept me into his arms, checking me over and over for any injuries. He leaned in and kissed me, but I barely had the heart to respond. My injuries were on the inside now, and I didn’t think any magic would heal them.

Breaking away from Sol’s kiss as gently as I could get away with, I caught Killian watching us. He nodded slightly, then slipped into the house.

“Thank you for saving them,” I said to Sol. His eyes grew wide.

“Of course - why wouldn’t I?”

I shrugged. “You would. I just wanted to say it. It’s important to save people who can’t save themselves.”

With that, I pushed back into the house, leaving him watching me with confusion on his handsome face. I knew he’d figure out my veiled apology soon enough, as soon as he figured out I wouldn’t be in his bed tonight.