It took Tori all of Saturday to sleep off the doozy of a hangover. By Sunday she was finally feeling more human. Too bad it was time for her to leave town.
“You sure you can’t stay a little longer?” Judith rubbed Tori’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze as she zipped up her suitcase.
“I really wish I could,” Tori said. She meant it. She’d grown so fond of Wayne, Judith and the entire Harris family. So much so, she’d even gone to church with them that morning as promised.
Thankfully, the roof didn’t cave in and not a single person tried to pray for faith healing. Yes, this had actually happened to her once in the past when a random stranger came up to her in DC, asking to pray for her. Tori had told them to fuck off.
Scott’s childhood church was a bit different from the stand, kneel, pray lethargic stuff she was used to growing up. In fact, she actually kinda enjoyed it. Much more lively. Well, she at least enjoyed it until she almost came emotionally unglued when they sang It Is Well With My Soul. That song touched her on such a personal level that it nearly made her unravel.
“I can’t justify another week off work. I was lucky they gave me the time they did,” Tori said.
Her director had given her one week, meanwhile Scott still had another week full of training so she’d be returning with Keith on the flight home. She knew that was another one of Scott’s sneaky reasons for bringing Keith out, but for that bit of overbearing protectiveness she’d forgive him. Flying was a pain in the ass enough for a sighted person, for her it was a three-ring circus and she may as well be the bearded lady.
“You ready, gorgeous?” Keith asked as he walked into the room.
“Yeah. All packed up.” Tori patted her thighs.
Judith gave her another big squeeze. “Oh, I’m so glad that Scotty brought you home to meet us,” Judith’s voice cracked. “We love you so much and are glad to have you as family.”
Family.
She was getting an entire family. Something she’d never had.
Tori’s throat clogged.
“You’ll come for Thanksgiving, right?” Tori swallowed the lump in her throat and pulled back.
“Yes. We’ll come out for Thanksgiving.” Judith squeezed her hands then dropped them. “Oh, I almost forgot.” A paper sack rustled next to her. “I knitted you both matching scarves.”
Tori’s brows went up as Judith wrapped a thick scarf around her neck.
“That’s, um, very thoughtful.” She plastered on a grin. There was no way they would ever wear matching scarves.
“It’s so dreadfully cold there in the winter. Scotty won’t ever let on that the winter bothers him, but his leg aches so bad when he gets chilled.”
“I promise to keep him warm.” Tori reached out and squeezed Judith’s shoulders.
Judith gave her another big hug. “Oh, I know you’ll take good care of him. You always have.”
Tori stepped out of Judith’s hold.
“You know, Vic, those scarves would look great for a couple’s Christmas card,” Keith chimed.
“Oh, that would be lovely!” Judith agreed. “I need a photo of you two for my gallery wall.”
Great, now she was going to have to take photos in the scarves or else risk offending Judith. If Tori could give Keith a death stare, he’d be six feet under at that moment. She could just imagine the stupid grin plastered over his face.
Wayne hollered down the hall for Judith. “We need to go!” They were headed to Dawn’s house to love on Ray.
“I better run. Gotta go see that grandbaby. You take care, sweetie.” Judith patted her arm and left the room.
She sucked in a breath and tapped her Apple watch and it blared the time. They needed to get moving. Tori liked to add an extra hour onto her travel time in case things went amiss which, with her, they typically did.
Footsteps echoed down the hall, one heavier than the other. She loved that sound. It always painted a picture in her mind of his sexy swagger.
“A little warm for a scarf, don’t you think?” Scott asked as he snaked his arm around her waist.
A smile tugged at her lips as she slipped from his hold and pulled the scarf off. “Your mom made us matching scarves.”
“I suggested to her that you two wear them for Christmas card photos,” Keith added.
Scott laughed. “Oh God, that’s dorky.”
God, she loved that laugh of his. An ache filled her chest at how much she was gonna miss hearing his voice. It’s only a week, she reminded herself. They’d survived much longer. It was ridiculous that she was getting emotional. She placed her hand on his cheek, blinked, and swallowed the lump forming in her throat as she lifted her chin. “We should get going.”
“Let’s take a quick walk outside before we leave,” Scott suggested as he checked his watch. She had almost three hours. That was more than enough time to get through security, especially with Keith on her arm.
He could see that this goodbye was weighing on her. As much as he hated to see those tears in her eyes, it spoke volumes for how far they’d come. It used to be that goodbyes never got to her, and those prior goodbyes lasted much longer than one week. He took that as a good sign.
“Scott, I need to get going.”
He kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger. “How about I leave you with a big grin on your face,” he whispered in her ear. “One for the road?”
A sultry grin crept over her face. “Fine.”
That’s my girl.
Both giggling, they retreated from the house. He took her out to the barn and wandered over to one of the empty stalls, grabbing the horse blanket draped over the railing on his way.
He spread the blanket with his free hand and laid her down on the soft pile of hay.
“I don’t believe I’ve ever had sex in a barn before.” She slid her hand down her belly, underneath the waistband of her jeans. He admired his view for only a moment, then lay down next to her.
“It may be the only place you’ve never fucked.” He chuckled as she jabbed him in the side.
“I get it.” She giggled as she rested her other hand on top of her forehead. “I’m a ho.”
“But you’re my ho.” He kissed her gently, tucking her hair behind her ear. “All mine.”
“All yours,” she whispered as she planted her hand on his cheek.
“So, does that mean that you’re ready to marry me?”
“We’re getting close.”
“You’ve met my family. I’ve met yours. I love you, you love me. What else is there?”
“Do you have a ring yet?” her brow wrinkled.
“Ah, so you want the fairy tale. Down on one knee. I get it.” He shrugged, playing it cool. In truth, it stung that she was once again rejecting him. “I didn’t think you were that kind of girl. My untraditional, quirky artist is just a girly girl that wants the big, fancy proposal.”
“I just…” she bit her lip and swallowed hard as she ran her delicate fingers across his face. There was that look of hers again—the searching. Her eyes darting to and fro, trying to find something to hold onto, some sort of truth.
He closed his eyes, soaking in her soft touch. This was about much more than a ring. She was terrified that once she fully gave over trust to him that she’d lose him—just like everything else in her life. She’d had so much stripped away. She may have prided herself on always rising above what life threw at her, but one more loss would ruin her. She was more fragile than she let on. What she didn’t realize is that losing her would be his undoing as well.
He’d wait as long as it took for her to trust him. He knew they had good and bad times ahead. As much as he didn’t want the rough patches, he knew they needed to ride a few more rough waves to prove to her that he’d weather the storm.
“I’m gonna give you the fairy tale, Tori. I promise it.” He crushed his lips to hers and drank her in.
Tori kept her head turned toward the window of the plane, not for the view, obviously. Keith had a thing for heights and he’d refused to let her sit on the aisle. It worked to her benefit because at least she could shield her tear-streaked face somewhat from view.
Somehow, she’d been capable of saying goodbye to Scott on the curb without having a meltdown, although she was screaming on the inside. The hustle and bustle of getting through security had kept her mind somewhat distracted, but now, sitting in their first-class seats that Scott had sprung for (which she thought was a ridiculous waste of money), the wave of emotion came crashing over her, pulling her under.
“Oh my God, you have to stop picking at your lip.” Keith yanked Tori’s hand down. “You’re gonna have nothing left for Scott to kiss when he gets home.”
She turned to him. “What is wrong with me?” Her jaw quivered. “This isn’t me, Keith. I don’t do tearful goodbyes. It’s only a week. I’ve turned into a crazy person.” She wiped her face.
Keith took her hand into his and patted it lovingly. “Oh, honey, you’ve always been a loon. You always thought you were so damn good at hiding your crazy. Yet, those of us that love you could always see through the cracks in your walls. Those gaps have just gotten a little wider. All that cuckoo you keep bottled up is spewing out.”
Tori sniffled and let out a wry chuckle. “I feel like I’m drowning in crazy.” She grimaced. “I loathe being this raw and vulnerable. All those years I shut him out, thinking that I was protecting my heart from losing him. Oh, he was in there alright, turning my heart into a big balloon that’s gonna pop.” She clutched her chest. She was physically in pain, her heart tensing up, aching. “How do people live like this?”
“You gotta learn to release the vent every once in a while, and let it air out.” Keith sighed wistfully. “Ok, give me a little of your crazy. Tell me one thing that you keep locked in that deep, dark vault of yours.”
Tori’s brow knitted. “You just want to find out how I was arrested.”
“Well yeah, but we can circle back around to that in a bit.” He chuckled. “Come on. Spew that molten, hot, crazy lava all over me. I can take it,” he urged.
Tori thought a moment. “My dad’s death makes me terrified to lose people, so I keep them at a distance.”
“There’s more to it than that, though, right? He died in a fire, saving your family. Scott’s heroism and willingness to sacrifice himself for others reminds you too much of your dad. Am I right?”
Tori’s jaw dropped, and the tears flowed again. “How did you know?”
“Jane told me when we were sitting by your bed in the hospital, praying you’d wake up. She unloaded on me. Told me all about how after your dad died saving your mom from your house, that you were the one who took care of her after your mom went nutty.”
Keith wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close. “Jane knows you had to steal, beg, and borrow when there wasn’t food in the house. She really looks up to you and from the sound of it you have a lot of your dad in you.”
“I’m scared when he finds out how damaged I am—hears the things that I’ve done to survive—that he won’t love me,” she mumbled into Keith’s chest.
“Eh, Scott’s a big boy and the most patient man on the planet. He doesn’t need to know all that until you’re ready to talk about it. Has he disclosed all the details surrounding his injury? Everything that shook him to his core in that godforsaken desert?”
“No.”
“Do you want him to?”
Tori shrugged. “If he wants to or needs to. But his past doesn’t matter to me.”
“Scott is the same. He just wants your heart. He’s only looking forward.” Keith squeezed her a little tighter.
“I do wish he would have clued me in on Brandi a little more,” she quipped.
“We all have secrets that we keep, to protect those we love. Things we’ve done that we’re not proud of…” Keith’s voice thinned.
She pulled away from his embrace and her mouth went into a tight line. “What do you mean by that?”
Keith was quiet. Too quiet.
“Keith? What do you know?” Her heart pounded in her chest.
“Ok, I need to tell you something else I know, but promise me you won’t get in your head about this.” He squeezed her hands. There was no way she could promise that, but she nodded anyway, swallowing down the lump in her throat. “Do you remember that exhibition you had years ago? The one where you were with that French dude?”
“The one where you sneakily bought my painting? The one of Scott and I?” Tori had painted a masterpiece of her and Scott making love that spread across five canvases. It was at a time in her life when she thought things were pretty much over with Scott. With Bastien’s prodding she put it up for sale, although she really didn’t want to part with it. Keith was the silent bidder that night and kept that painting secret all these years, saving it as a wedding gift. He had finally told her he had it two weeks ago. Tori still couldn’t express her gratitude.
“How much do you remember about that night?” Keith asked.
“Oh lord, I was pretty drunk on champagne…” She racked her brain wondering what secrets came tumbling out of her lips that night.
“You weren’t the only one drunk on champagne that night,” Keith prompted.
“Oh, yeah.” A light bulb went off in Tori’s head. “I met some girl that night puking up champagne in the bathroom. She was the sweetest little thing, positively adorable. Totally out of her element.” Tori chuckled. “I felt so terrible for her. I can still remember her soft, southern accent…” Tori’s voice thinned, and all the color drained from her body.
The same southern accent she’d heard the other day.
“Brandi?” Tori whispered as her lunch churned in her stomach.
“Yes, it was Brandi you met that night.”
“What… how?” Tori couldn’t find words.
“I ran into Scott the day before that exhibition at the Natural History museum with Brandi. The moment I walked in that night and saw you’d taken in a stray I knew exactly who she was. She told you her name was Lynne because she didn’t want you to know she was sizing up the competition.”
All the blood pounded in Tori’s ears. “Oh Jesus, Keith, what did you do?”
Because what it sounded like Keith did was sabotage Scott and Brandi. She thought about Scott and how protective he seemed to be of this girl. She meant something to him and that was obvious, but something had happened. Tori’s mind flashed to another life for him. A life in Texas with Brandi and a slew of kids and her stomach grew sick. Even though she was sitting, she suddenly grew dizzy. She struggled for air and clutched her chest. “Did you break them up?” she croaked.
“Oh, Lord no. I’m not a monster.” He rubbed her arm. “As Brandi and I stood there eyeing the painting that was so obviously you and Scott naked, she was pretty intimidated. I told her that you were not after Scott in any way, shape, or form, and that Scott was a big boy, and if he wanted Vic, he could of said so as well. I told her that as much as I would’ve loved to see the two of you get together, that you both had made your dirty, little beds and now had to lie in them. I squeezed her tight and told her that jealously wasn’t flattering on her one bit, that she was far too pretty and sweet for that.”
“Oh my god, the club…” The events of that night rolled through her head. Tori had invited Brandi out for drinks with them. Scott had texted Tori that night, while she was at the club, and told her he was seeing someone and their “friendship” was over. Brandi was literally across the table when she got that text. Tori had even read it aloud to her.
“She saw how sad I was when Scott texted me and told me it was over,” Tori whispered and wiped a tear from her face. That touched a soft spot in Tori’s heart. “So, you’re saying that Brandi backed down because of me?” That realization hit her like a brick wall. “Yet she didn’t say a word to me the other day when she ran into me at the store?”
“She was humiliated. What did you expect her to say in that awkward moment?”
“She totally used my blindness to deceive me,” Tori snapped.
“Do you blame her?”
Tori paused. “Not really.” Tori chuckled. She didn’t know whether to hate the girl for being so deceitful or respect her for having so much tact and dignity. That entire night must have gutted Brandi. Good God, girls in love did some crazy shit. Brandi’s whole stunt made Tori feel a little less bonkers.
“Please tell me you didn’t say anything to hurt her.” Even though Brandi and her may have been pining for the same man, she felt sorry for the girl. Tori despised girls being mean to other girls. It’s one reason she never had a lot of friends growing up. She never fed into girl drama.
“I swear it, Vic.”
“But you said we all have secrets we’re not proud of…” Tori shook her head, still trying to make sense of it all.
“Yes, I kept this secret for Brandi, because she wasn’t proud of that moment. And you and Scott didn’t need to know any of this. It would’ve muddied the waters too much. I needed to let fate take its course.” Keith continued, “Brandi was smart. She saw what everyone else did—what you two boneheads were too stupid and stubborn to realize.”
Tori remembered the next morning. Scott had texted her that the girl he was seeing broke it off with him. Much to her surprise, he’d tracked her down at the train station. She’d been kinda irked that he was only looking for some rebound sex. Tori could still remember the sexy smirk on his face from the distance as she shrugged and held out her hand as if to say: give me the panties. Scott had just grinned and shook his head no—probably because she was stupidly with another man. A man she would’ve dropped like a hat if Scott had professed his love to her. Instead, Tori had shrugged to him as if to say your loss and got on that godforsaken train.
As she waited for the train to depart everything inside her screamed to run after him.
She should have gotten off the train.
She should have told Scott she loved him.
What would have happened if she’d gotten off the train? She tugged at her lip, pondering. Was Scott just there for rebound sex? Or was he there to profess his love to her? She’d never know because of her own damn pride.
It didn’t matter why he’d been there. She had him now and she was done letting stubbornness and fear keep them apart.
The plane she was on could crash right now.
Scott could get into the car and wreck while driving down the highway to work.
Then what would she have? Only her regrets? Fuck that. She didn’t want the last memory they had to be her saying no to his proposal. She never wanted that man to question how much she loved him, never again.
“Vic?” He yanked her arm down to once again stop her from pulling on her lip. “Do you hate me for not telling you this sooner?”
Tori gave him a thin smile. “I could never hate you.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, yawned, and closed her eyes.
As she drifted off to sleep, she could see herself, sitting out on a porch, painting and overlooking the yard as a little boy with Scott’s dark hair and her blue eyes played in the sand. Another child grew in her belly, maybe it was a boy, maybe it was a girl. It didn’t matter because it was part of him and her—together.
She may not have been ready for it back then, but she was ready for that now. Sure, now the scene would probably look a bit different. The child in the yard may not resemble either of them, and maybe there was no growing baby in her belly, but adoption papers on the kitchen table. Regardless of what the scene was, she was ready to grab onto her happily ever after.