CHAPTER NINE

Renner

Renner rang the doorbell at 6:32 p.m., bags in hand. His heartrate jacked, he’d applied an extra layer of antiperspirant and cologne. Shit, I’m like a frat pledge here.

The doorknob turned, and he forced a deep breath with his charming smile.

The door swung open, and a pair of brilliant blue eyes blinked up at him. Only four-feet tall, with wavy blond hair and adorably large front teeth.

Renner blinked. Words evaporated, but he couldn’t help smiling at the kid. The same soft, oval face and sweet smile as Cassie.

“Who are you?” Such an innocent question out of the small voice, but he didn’t know how to answer.

“I’m Renner.”

“I’m Landon.” The boy looked at the takeout food, and his eyes lit up. “Mommy, the chicken guy is here!” He ran back into the house, his feet clomping on the wood floors.

Renner chuckled. The chicken guy?

Cassie came out of the kitchen, phone in hand. Her jaw dropped. “Hi. I…I was literally about to call you.”

Her teal shirt hugged her torso in all the perfect places, with only a sliver of cleavage showing. Leaving him with plenty of imagination to remember the plump softness underneath.

Her simple dark jeans were loose around her thighs, but still somehow cradled her waist and butt. And her adorable bare feet begged to be kissed. But with two bags of food and an oblivious five-year-old between them…

Maybe this night is over before it starts.

The boy started jumping up and down, with a huge lopsided grin. “Chicken and rice! Chicken and rice! I’m so hungry! Thank you, Mommy.” Landon ran to the kitchen, leaving Cassie with a dumfounded expression.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “Their camping trip got rained out, and they showed up an hour ago. This is the first chance I’ve had to call.”

“Are your parents here, too?”

“They just left. Come in.”

Renner stepped inside, and despite the Chinese food, caught her perfume. Sweet, a touch of floral, and delectably feminine. Her hair was down, loosely curled, and a light layer of eye shadow graced her soft face. Perfectly accentuating the aqua tinge in her green irises.

“Is the chicken guy staying for dinner?” The little boy stood in the hallway, holding a fork and spoon in each hand.

She closed the door behind him and approached her son.

Renner kept his mouth shut, and followed her lead. They’d inadvertently jumped twelve steps forward in the relationship, if that’s what they could call it.

“Landon, this is my friend, Renner. He’s brought dinner for us. What do you say?”

“Thank you, Renner.”

“You like chicken and rice, kid?”

His eyes lit up again. “Yes! It’s my favorite!”

Renner followed the boy into the kitchen, tossing Cassie a wink as he passed. The wrinkles on her forehead revealed her unease at the situation.

Time to roll with it.

“Your mom said you went camping.”

“Uh huh!” Landon climbed onto one of the stools. “Granddad took me fishing. I caught four fish. He showed me how to skin ‘em and cook ‘em. They tasted awful!”

“Where did you go?”

“Clipper Campgrounds, about an hour away.” Cassie filled her plate with teriyaki chicken and brown rice.

“I know that place.” He grinned. “Used to go there in Boy Scouts.”

“You were in Boy Scouts?” Landon asked, dropping more rice from his spoon than getting in his mouth.

“Long time ago. What did you do up there?”

The kid barely took a breath between sentences as he described his camping trip at warp speed.

Renner was fascinated. As an adolescent, he’d loved camping and learning survival skills in the wild outdoors.

Landon’s words brought him right back to his tent-throwing days, building campfires, tracking raccoons, and navigating by the stars.

More importantly, throughout the conversation, Cassie’s shoulders had slowly dropped and her smile widened. Finally, her eyes started to glow with a brilliant jade.

It took all his resolve not to grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. Probably not ready for that show of affection in front of her son.

“Granddad said he’d take me again next year. I might be big enough to do the rafting part, too.”

“We’ll see,” Cassie replied.

The sky darkened fast, and rain slowly patted against the windows. A few moments later, it grew to a deluge with a few lightning flashes and rumbling thunder.

“Stupid storm,” Landon muttered and lowered a frown to his plate.

“Storms are good, pal.” Renner wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Lowers the temperature on hot days, brings new life to the forest, and there’s really cool stuff to find in the creek beds.”

The little boy looked at him with big round eyes, but didn’t say anything.

“Cheer up. You’ll get a chance to go back soon.” He tossed him a wink, and the boy’s frown disappeared. “I can’t believe that place is still around. They had awesome wilderness obstacle courses. Zip lines, rope ladders, even a paintball course.”

Cassie pointed at Landon, who now wore an envious smile. “Which you’re not old enough for. Yet.”

He took the last bite of chicken off his plate, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Do you like blueberry muffins?” he asked, still chewing.

Cassie stopped drinking her water mid-sip, and stared at her son.

“Sure do,” Renner replied.

“Will you make some with me?” The boy’s pleading eyes were wide and bright.

Cassie appeared to be holding her breath.

“Uh…that’s up to your mom.”

“Can I?” he begged.

“We just finished dinner, sweetie,” she said, her obvious concern expanding. The sky outside was now completely dark.

“Please!” Landon whined. “Renner said he likes them. I want to show him how good I am at cooking.”

“I don’t mind,” he whispered to Cassie. “If it’s okay with you.”

The hesitation she gave him perked up the hairs on his arms.

She bit her lip and sighed. Then finally nodded.

Her son jumped down from the stool, and ran to the cupboard.

“Put your plate in the sink, sweetheart,” she called.

As the boy complied, Renner peered into the pantry and stopped. The entire top shelf was full of blueberry muffin mix. Stacked two boxes high. He glanced at Cassie, who seemed to have adopted a permanent expression of self-consciousness.

Roll with it. He grabbed a box.

Landon reached into one of the lower cabinets and pulled out a ceramic mixing bowl along with a few muffin tins.

“You’ve done this before, huh?”

“Yep. Lots and lots.” After they put the ingredients together, Renner grabbed the whisk, but Landon stopped him. “That’s my job.”

He raised an eyebrow, and handed the boy the whisk. “Have at it.”

The kid stirred with a frenzy, dropping powder mix all over the counter. The tongue sticking out of his mouth as he worked was worthy of a Hallmark card.

Renner helped him scoop the batter into the muffin tins, and switched on the oven.

When Landon watched the trays slide in, he grinned. “The next best thing to heaven.”

He gave him a smile. The smell was delicious, he’d give that to the little chef. When he turned to Cassie, her eyes had filled with tears, and she kept herself out of Landon’s view.

“All right, kid,” he announced. “Go wash up. I’ll start cleaning the mess.”

“Don’t start without me!” Landon ran upstairs, and Cassie beat Renner to his curiosity.

“Thank you for playing along. But you don’t have to stay.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “I’ll clean this. I’m sure you have appointments to make.”

“Cassie, look at me.”

“Dinner was a huge win,” she continued, her voice a little higher. “He loved it. Thank you.” She moved back and forth, carrying plates and bowls to the sink and wiping the counter, until Renner grabbed her elbow and gently pulled her to him.

“Relax, just for a minute.”

Her pulse raced under his fingers, and her breathing quickened. Not to mention, she kept looking everywhere else but at him.

“He’s awesome.” Renner smoothed down the goosebumps that had popped up on her arms. “Full of energy.”

That dragged a smile from her, however small. But it faded quickly. “He’s had a really hard time with everything. I’m glad he’s in a good mood.”

“Look at me.”

With a deep sigh, she finally did. A glisten formed in her eyes again. “You don’t have to stay. I understand if this is too much reality for you.”

“Cassie, I want to be here.”

She pressed her lips together. “It’s okay, really.”

“And miss out on the kick-ass blueberry muffins? No way.”

Cassie arched a delicate eyebrow. “Language.”

He grimaced. “Sorry. Easy fix.”

Landon ran down the stairs in mismatched pajamas with muffin mix still on his face and hands. He carried a picture frame.

“Whatcha got there, bud—” she asked. Her face dropped instantly.

“This is my daddy,” the kid announced proudly, and shoved the photo in Renner’s face, holding it up on his tiptoes.

His jaw went slack, staring at his blurry reflection in the glass that contained the man’s photo. Dark blue eyes, wavy blond hair and easy smile. He swallowed.

Cassie’s face had turned white.

Play it cool. Keep it easy. “That’s one good lookin’ guy.” He ruffled the kid’s hair. “Just like you.”

“His name is Kyle. Did you know my daddy?”

Renner shook his head. “Nope. Did he like blueberry muffins, too?”

The kid grinned into the frame. “Next best thing to heaven.”

Then it hit him.

Renner swallowed a gasp and looked at Cassie, who held her arms to keep from shaking. It wasn’t working.

The next best thing to heaven.

Landon set the frame on the coffee table and curled up on the couch.

Renner’s heart cracked.

The kid baked blueberry muffins to try and get closer to his dead father. To get closer to heaven. Landon had to settle for the next best thing.

“He makes those every day, doesn’t he?” he asked.

Cassie nodded and turned toward the kitchen. To grab a tissue.

Which explained why the cabinet was full of blueberry muffin mix, top to bottom.

“Renner, will you play a video game with me?” The kid held two remote controls on the couch, propping one out to him.

The innocence of the request, and the cute pleading voice added an extra rip in Renner’s heart. “Sure, kid.” He sat on the couch beside him, and took the remote. “What do you want to play?”

“Super Mario Brothers. I want to be Luigi. You can be Yoshi.”

For the next hour, Landon routinely beat him, one level after another. The boy jumped off the couch in sync with his character, only to plop down on the cushion and tell Renner where to grab the next gold coin, or find a secret tube. With each level, the kid had moved closer and closer to his side.

Only a few times when the mustached character had fallen into a pool of lava, Landon threw a small tantrum. They were over as quickly as they’d started. Every now and then, they’d scarf down a blueberry muffin, tart and scrumptious.

Renner had cast glances at Cassie throughout the game. Permanent creases dug into her forehead. He wanted to swipe them away with his thumb. Or his lips. She’d sat in the side armchair, watching them, instead of the television. A mother’s worry never ceased.

Eventually, the video game turned to an animated movie, and shortly thereafter Landon’s quiet snore rumbled against Renner’s shoulder.

Cassie set her tea mug on the table, and walked over to brush the hair out of her son’s face. “He’s so tired. I should take him upstairs.”

“I can do it.” He gave her a smile, hoping she’d relax.

It only made the corners of her mouth turn down. “No, I should.”

“It’s okay, Cassie,” Renner whispered. “He’s lighter than flypaper. Sit and enjoy your tea.”

She stepped back, reluctance dominating her expression.

He shifted Landon’s limp body into his arms, and stood with the boy’s head on his shoulder. Still snoring. He carried the matchstick upstairs, remembering his room was the first one on the left. The only sound was the rain pattering against the roofline, soft and soothing.

Gently pushing the stuffed animals and frames to the side of the mattress, he pulled down the covers and laid Landon down. The kid never woke.

Cassie’s deceased husband, Kyle, stared at him through a dozen picture frames throughout the boy’s room. Memories of a deeply loved man swirled between all these toys, promises from a father to a son dashed, and the idealistic childhood taken away.

“I’m so sorry, kid,” he whispered.

With quiet steps, Renner descended the stairs to see Cassie hugging herself and staring out the window. Her shoulders had scrunched up to her mid-neck again. Tense and pale.

He had no idea what to say. There were no words for some things. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around her, make her relax and feel comforted. Everything about her posture said don’t touch me.

Renner sighed, and shoved his hands in his pockets. And waited. Her eyes caught his gaze in the reflection from the window.

“Thank you,” she finally said with a shaky breath. “Those emotional outbursts of his have been happening more often, ever since…”

“Completely expected,” he answered for her. “You’re doing great.”

Cassie blinked several times, and pursed her lips. Probably swallowing her emotions as hard as she could manage. “I don’t have the heart to tell him that Clipper Campgrounds will probably close before next spring. This was his last camping trip out there.”

Renner shrugged. “There are other camping places around here.”

“This was supposed to help him get away from everything. Do something fun.”

“It won’t be the last time he has fun. Kids are more resilient than you think.”

She bit her lip and watched the rain slow to a drizzle. She was only an arm’s length away, but the space between them felt as wide as an ocean.

As he watched the storm of emotions fill her body, he desperately wanted to find a way to cross that ocean, pull her out of it.

To be happy.

“Do you want me to stay, Cassie?”

Her pause clawed at his heart. What hurt worse was that she didn’t even look at him. The word no was only a heartbeat away.

Whenever she said it, Renner’s stomach would swallow him whole.

“Yes. Until I fall asleep,” she finally replied, her eyes full of hope.