I woke up with my legs tangled with Jed’s, splayed halfway across his chest. His body had slid down to a more reclined position, his head propped higher with pillows, but I was still wrapped around him like a monkey to a tree.

I glanced up at his face, surprised to see his eyes open.

“No nightmares?” he asked.

“No. It’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.”

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from my face. “Probably because you were so exhausted.”

No, more likely it was because of the man still holding me. I’d never felt safer than I did right now in his arms. In fact, I felt safer with Jed than I’d ever felt with anyone. Period.

Guilt quickly followed that thought. Rose had gone out of her way to make me feel safe and loved, especially after Ronnie left. Shoot, she’d let me move in with her. But deep down I had always known I wasn’t good enough for her. While we’d both been abused as kids, she’d only occasionally dipped off the straight and narrow path. I’d veered off it entirely, getting permanently stained in the process.

But Jed . . . Jed was more like me. We’d both done things we were ashamed of. And while he might think less of me by the conclusion of our Ardmore trip, I hoped he’d at least understand me. Maybe it was selfish, but I was glad he was here with me.

I lifted up on my elbow to check the time on the digital clock on the nightstand. “8:50!” I said in dismay. “How could I have slept that long? How long have you been awake?”

“Not that long.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up or, at the very least, shove me to the other side of the bed so you could get up?”

He put his free hand under the back of his head, propping it up. “I told you,” he said. “I haven’t been awake that long. It’s the first time in years that I haven’t had to get up for some purpose. It felt good to sleep in, and you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you.” His gaze drifted down, and I realized my dress had hiked up on my legs. My butt cheek was hanging out and revealing a hint of my nude-colored panties. They’d been intended for camouflage under my white and blue dress, not seduction.

The memory of my behavior in the parking lot last night rushed back with excruciating detail. Horrified, I started to snatch back my arm and my leg, but Jed wouldn’t let me.

“Neely Kate.”

I looked up into his face, my cheeks burning, then quickly looked away. “Last night . . . I have no excuse. I was . . . it’s just . . .”

“Hey, no apologies.”

“I . . .” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I humiliated myself. I disgusted you . . .”

His body stiffened. “How could you think I was disgusted?”

“You . . .” I couldn’t go on; his rejection still suffocated me, not that I blamed him. I had no desire to relive last night’s disgraceful performance.

He slowly rolled me over to my back, his leg spreading my legs apart. He propped up on one elbow, looking down into my face. For a man who’d lived hard, his eyes were incredibly soft when he looked at me. “You could never disgust me.”

“But I was ridiculous.”

“No. You were hurt and you came on to me for the wrong reasons. I want you to want me for the right ones.”

“And what are the right ones?”

His gaze lowered to my mouth and he lifted his hand to my neck, his thumb lightly tracing my jaw. “You’ll know when you’re ready.”

I held my breath as my body jumped to life. Jed hadn’t even kissed me, yet he’d made me feel more alive, more desired, than I’d ever felt with any man.

His gaze lifted to my eyes. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“What does that mean?” I forced out, struggling to focus as his hand slid to my collar bone, his thumb tracing a lazy path down my neck.

“Last night. You trusted me enough to take me into Slick Willy’s.”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“Not true,” he said softly, lowering his mouth to my ear. “You could have tried to make me stay in the car,” he whispered. His breath, hot on my neck, sent a shiver down my spine.

“Would you have stayed?” I asked, sounding breathless.

He chuckled. “Not a chance in hell.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt the lightest of kisses behind my ear.

I lifted my hands to his shoulders, wanting more, but he sat up slightly and put my hands back on the bed. Then he placed a soft kiss at the base of my jaw.

I closed my eyes, my body burning with lust and anticipation.

“You have got to be the sexiest woman I’ve ever known,” he murmured against my neck as he licked and nibbled his way to my collar bone. “It’s important you know that.” He moved his hand to my waist and lightly skimmed upward, stopping underneath the rise of my breast. “I don’t want you to think I rejected you last night.”

My breath came in hard pants. I was dying to touch him, but I grabbed handfuls of the bedspread to stop myself.

His mouth traced the scooped neckline of my sundress, lingering over the curve of my breast before dipping down the shallow valley of my cleavage and continuing up my other breast.

White-hot heat pooled between my legs, and it took everything in me to keep my hands off him.

He leisurely kissed a path up my neck. “I told you that you were in control, and that’s still true. But nothing has changed for me. I want you.” His mouth hovered over mine, and his tongue traced my full bottom lip before darting in for a second and then tracing my upper lip.

His hand lifted to my face again, and he gently held me in place as his lips brushed mine, his tongue still performing its dance, darting into my mouth and taunting my tongue to join in.

I was completely turned on and ready for his seduction to move to the next level, but his mouth continued its lazy plunder of mine. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, raking it between his teeth, and then gave me the gentlest of kisses. Then, as if sensing what he was doing to me, he lifted his head.

“I want you, Neely Kate, but not now. Not yet. I don’t want there to be any doubt in your head that I want you for you, not whatever sleazy image of yourself you have in your head.” He sat up and gave me a soft smile. “Now I’m going to go get us some breakfast. Do you want to shower while I’m gone? I can take a shower when I get back. Then we’ll come up with a plan for the day.

Gaping, I sat up in disbelief. He’d gotten me all worked up, but for all his big talk, he was going to walk out the door?

I suddenly realized that while I’d brought a bag with clothes and toiletries, he had nothing. “What are you going to do about a change of clothes?”

He stood. “I have a bag in the trunk. I never know when I’ll be gone overnight.”

“You’re like a Boy Scout.”

His smile got smaller, tighter, but it didn’t fall away. “Not even close.” He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and checked the screen.

I didn’t even remember him taking it out of his pocket. I’d still been too drunk and out of it. Great. The man had lost his job, maybe permanently damaged his relationship with his best friend, to haul me to the middle of nowhere and watch me make a drunken fool of myself. And here I was, moping because he wanted to grab a change of clothes and get me something to eat.

“Hey,” he said, stepping in front of me as he shoved his phone into his front jeans pocket. “No negative thoughts.” He cupped the side of my face again and tilted my head up so I was looking into his face. “Remember what I said? I see a sexy, smart, loyal, and loving woman. I’m not sure what you see in that head of yours, but if you don’t see those things, you need a new mirror.”

I gave him a soft smile. “I’m not sure if any man has ever told me anything so sweet before.”

His grin spread. “Then you obviously need to spend more time with me.” He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss. “I’ll be back in less than half an hour. Put the chain on the door after I leave. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s my girl.”

I watched him leave, then put the chain on the door. As I showered, I thought about the man I’d gotten to know over the last few months. If someone had told me three months ago that I’d spend the night in Jed Carlisle’s arms, I would have called them a liar. Yet here I was . . .

But where exactly was I?

From what little I knew about Jed, he didn’t have girlfriends. He dated, though perhaps that was a generous word. I’d asked around a little, overheard some, and it sounded like the most serious he got was still pretty casual—multiple-night stands rather than one-offs.

So where did that leave me?

Jed wasn’t acting like he was going for some short-term lay, but at the same time, I couldn’t see him in a real relationship. As for me . . . I was technically still married (a true technicality since Ronnie, wherever he was, had already moved on), and I wasn’t sure what I wanted. And now didn’t seem the time to dwell on it. I had bigger issues to deal with.

I was glad Jed was here with me, and I’d have to leave it at that for now. I couldn’t forget why I’d come here in the first place.

I wore another dressy dress, but I only put on mascara and a little bit of blush. It was July in southern Oklahoma. I would have sweated off any makeup in less than five minutes.

True to his word, Jed knocked on the door thirty minutes later and called out my name. I slid off the chain and opened the door a crack. “What’s that wonderful smell?”

His smiling face made my stomach flutter. “I found a place with real breakfast—none of that fast-food crap.” He held up two bags in one hand and a drink carrier with two large steaming cups in the other.

I stepped back and let him in. He gave me an appraising glance, taking in my white dress with its off-the-shoulder sleeves, and the look of appreciation in his eyes told me he did want me. “It’s already hot out there.”

“Welcome to summer in Oklahoma.”

As he set the food down on the dresser, his eyes landed on the notebook on the bed. He gave me an inquisitive look.

“I was making notes . . .” I said. “Coming up with a plan for today.”

He gave me a nod. “So if you plan to go back to the strip club tonight, we’ll be hanging around here for at least another day, right? I’m going to pay for tonight so we can leave our stuff while we’re out.”

I hesitated, but it was ridiculous to keep things from him. Besides, it was a legit question. “Yeah. But I’ll pay for it, Jed.”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll deal with it before we leave. But let’s eat and you can tell me your plan of attack.” He pulled out several containers. “I got pecan pancakes—it’s supposed to be their specialty—and then there’s an omelet, a waffle with sausage links, and I also got a Southern breakfast with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and grits.”

I laughed. “You must be starving.”

He gave me a half-shrug. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

He had bought four breakfast entrees so he’d be sure to get something I’d like. I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him, but instead I reached over and grabbed one of the coffee cups. “Black?”

“Cream and sugar added.”

“Perfect.” I popped up the little flap and took a sip.

He lifted a Styrofoam container. “Which one?”

“How about we set them all on the bed and share?”

“Sounds good.” He set them out—a great big breakfast buffet for the two of us—and we sat across from each other on the bed, plastic cutlery in hand.

Jed glanced over at my still-open notebook. “So where to first?”

“The trailer park where I used to live with my mother.”

He opened a container of syrup and set it to one side of the pancakes. “You hoping to find clues about where she went?”

“That trail went cold the day she left to dump me on my granny when I was twelve. She left and never came back.” He didn’t ask questions, just waited for me to continue. “When I graduated from high school, I took all $438 of my graduation money and bought a bus ticket to Ardmore, hoping to find my mother. The most logical place to look for her was where we used to live . . . only, she didn’t live there anymore.” I stabbed my fork into the scrambled eggs.

“Why didn’t you go back to Fenton County?”

“For one, I was pickpocketed on the bus. By the time I landed here, I had $21.09. Not enough to buy a return bus ticket, not that I would have anyway. My granny had told me not to come. My momma didn’t want me anymore, she said, so I shouldn’t waste my time and money. I was stubborn enough that I wasn’t about to go home and eat a heapin’ slice of humble pie. Besides . . . when I got off the bus that day, I didn’t know she wasn’t here. For all I knew, she was sleepin’ off the previous night’s drunk in the La-Z-Boy. So I got a ride from some guy at the bus stop, and he dropped me off at the entrance of the trailer park. When I found someone else living in her trailer, with no idea who she even was, I sat down on the steps and had a good cry. That’s when Zelda found me.”

“Zelda?”

“She was our next-door neighbor when I was a kid, and she was still there when I came back. She took me in.”

“So you lived with Zelda?”

“Yeah, for nearly a year . . . until I met Branson.” But I didn’t want to talk about Branson. I wasn’t ready to go to that dark place yet. “Zelda’s niece Stella came to live with us after I showed up. She was a couple of years older than me, and despite everything my momma had put me through, I wasn’t as worldly as I thought.”

Jed’s gaze stayed on me—interested but not judgmental.

“I was lookin’ for jobs at the grocery store and retail stores, but Stella wasn’t havin’ none of that. She wanted a more glamorous job, so she started workin’ at Slick Willy’s. Miss Zelda knew Stella had some kind of night job, but she didn’t know what. Stella told her she was workin’ in a bar, which was technically true, just not the full truth. So Stella claimed she was makin’ all this money, while I was still broke and desperate. I’d find a job, but it would never last because I didn’t have a car and my rides didn’t always come through. Stella started trying to convince me to work with her. She promised to give me a ride every night. Finally, after two months and havin’ even less money than I showed up with, if you can believe that’s possible, I told her yes.”

“So you became an exotic dancer.” His voice had a strange tone of detachment.

“I know how it sounds.”

Jed leaned closer. “Neely Kate. I’ve spent more time running the Bunny Ranch than Skeeter. I know the girls who work there. Most are down on their luck, and some of them are supporting kids because their loser partners left them with no financial support. That’s why Skeeter and I insist on paying them a set wage and giving them benefits.”

“How can you afford it?” I asked. “Stan hardly paid us anything. All our money was from tips . . . and extras.” I tried not to shudder at the thought.

Jed’s eyes darkened. “There are no extras at the Bunny Ranch except for lap dances. There’s no sex in the club. Period. And we encourage the dancers not to arrange it after working hours. You’re right, though, the business can’t afford it. It loses money just about every month.”

“And yet you keep it open?”

“What would happen to those women if we closed it? They’d end up working for some shady place like the exotic club that opened in Fenton County last fall. Or worse.”

Skeeter Malcolm purposely hung on to a business that was losing him money so he could give desperate women jobs? Truth was, I’d never thought much of Skeeter. I’d always lumped him into the same category as Stan, who didn’t give a fig about the women who worked in his club. Sometimes Skeeter had served as a means to an end, but Rose’s friendship with him had never sat easily with me.

Maybe there was more to him than I had thought. Rose always told me there was goodness in him, and here was Jed saying the same thing.

Jed gave me a wry smile. “Before you think Skeeter is completely altruistic, he uses the deficit as a tax deduction. Still, it’s a pain in the ass to run. The sheriff’s always sticking his nose in the business. It would be easier to close it, but Skeeter insists on keeping it open.”

The sheriff. Had Joe been there? What did he think of the women there? Did he find them disgusting? Would he think the same of me?

How about Rose?

I glanced up at Jed. “When Rose and I went to Gems last fall . . . I told her I learned how to pole dance in my cousin’s garage. I don’t want her to know the truth.”

“I’m not gonna tell Rose anything about our trip. Whatever she learns will come from you. I’m a vault.”

“I suppose you’d have to be, after working for Skeeter all these years. So many secrets . . .”

“Including the fact that the Bunny Ranch is losing money. We like to keep that info under wraps.”

I gave him a soft smile, honored that he’d shared it with me. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“So you started working for Stan . . .” Jed encouraged.

My mind went back to that first night and how scared I had been. I couldn’t go there, not right now. I felt too content sitting here with Jed. I wasn’t willing to lose that feeling yet. Still, he deserved answers. Skeeter was forever making him do things, and Jed didn’t always know the why of it. It was obvious Jed hated it. He deserved better than that from me.

“Neely Kate.”

My eyes lifted to his again.

“You tell me what you want when you want. Okay? Only when you’re ready.”

“But you need to know to help me.”

“You’re an investigator and you haven’t done half bad. I’m content to be your backup until you’re ready to talk. All I ask is that you give me warning before we walk into something dangerous.”

“You really think I’m an investigator?” I asked. I was still trying to convince Rose of it.

“You and Rose have solved a heap of mysteries, and then you found that necklace half the county was lookin’ for. No one else figured out where it was.”

I grinned. “Sorry about shoving you into that pile of pig crap.”

He grinned back. “I have to admit, I didn’t see it comin’.”

“I can’t believe you’re smilin’ about it now. You weren’t so happy at the time.”

He laughed. “I wasn’t. But a couple of weeks removed, I can see the humor in it. I remember the look on your face right before you shoved me. You were furious.”

“I’d just found out you were double-crossing me for Skeeter.”

“I never even thought about the cell phone in my pocket. But when you realized . . . I knew there would be hell to pay.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “And you think that’s funny?”

His grin faded, but there was merriment in his eyes. “There is nothing funny about you when you’re riled up and ready to take on the world.”

I cocked my head. “And when have you seen me like that?”

“Countless times with Rose. With Merv . . .” His smile fell. “Merv blames Rose for the changes in Skeeter, and he’s becoming more and more out of control. When he saw you walk into the pool hall alone, I think he figured he’d teach you a lesson about meddling in Skeeter’s business.” He set down his fork, then grabbed my hand. “I had no idea I’d find him manhandlin’ you. If you hadn’t broken his nose and his hand defending yourself, I would have beaten him to a bloody pulp myself.”

I turned his hand over to display the bruises and scrapes on his knuckles. “And how did you get these?”

His grin returned. “Okay, so I may have made sure he got the message that if he ever touches you again, he’s a dead man.” His look turned sober. “But I’m telling you, Neely Kate—if you hadn’t beat him up first, I probably would have beaten him to near death.” He paused and released my hand. “There’s a darkness inside me. You may have done some bad things, but you ran from them. I’ve been marinating in mine for years.”

I shook my head. “Not anymore. Skeeter cut you loose. You can do anything now. What do you want?”

Lust filled his eyes, and I was sure he was going to kiss me, but he stood. “I better take my shower.”

I crawled off the bed, blocking his path to the restroom. “Jed, wait.”

He glanced down at me but didn’t say a word.

“You said you thought you were irredeemable. Do you really believe that?”

“Neely Kate . . .”

He didn’t need to tell me. I knew. I reached up on my tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss, worried about rejection but willing to take the risk. “You’re not irredeemable, Jed. You’re a good man, and you keep showin’ me that man over and over again. You . . . you told me that you see something different in me than I see in myself. Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see someone strong and brave. A man who’s willing to risk his job and his life to help the people he’s loyal to. I see a man with a heart so full of goodness he doesn’t see strippers and prostitutes as whores—he sees them as women doin’ the best they can to get by. Let me be your mirror, Jed. See the man that I see.”

His mouth covered mine with a raw hunger that caught me by surprise, but I quickly met him in kind. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me up and then pressed my back to the wall as his mouth ravaged mine. I wrapped my arms around his hips, and my dress gathered up to my waist. The cool, air-conditioned air hit my scantily clad butt, but his large hands quickly warmed me as he held me to him.

His pelvis pushed into mine, his erection pressing in at exactly the right spot to make me moan. But my response must have set off some alarm. He lifted his head and horror filled his eyes. “I swore I wouldn’t do this.”

“You kissed me before,” I reminded him.

“Not like this. Before it was to show you how beautiful you are inside and out. This . . .”

He tried to put me down, but I locked my feet together behind his back. “Jed, I changed my mind. I want you to touch me.”

He shook his head and gave me a tug to dislodge me. “Not like this.”

I let him slide me down, but I hung on to his neck, refusing to let go. “Not like what?”

“Not with anger and recklessness.”

I gasped in surprise. “Are you angry with me?”

“Not you, Neely Kate. God, not you, but I’m angry with the world, and I refuse to punish you for it.” Then he pulled my hands loose and escaped to the bathroom.

I watched the door shut, wondering what had happened. If Jed’s kiss had been fueled by anger, what had fueled mine?