Eli was keeping something big from me… from all of us. And he kept it under lock and key, which meant it was something that would either shock us, or cause a whole lot of grief.

The problem was that no matter how I approached the question, he found a way around it. He’d crack, eventually. Most did when something was too overwhelming to keep to themselves. Until then, I’d bide my time and enjoy every moment we got to spend together.

Once Christmas was over and we headed back to Chicago, I’d be diving head-first into my career. It excited and scared me all at the same time. But that was the future… scary and unpredictable, no matter how much promise was thrown into it. No one truly knew what the next day, or the next year, would bring. All I did know was at that moment in time, I was stronger than I’d ever been, and it was all because of Eli, as well as the rest of the Six.

“What do you think, Nova?” Murphy asked, holding up a string of garland in her hand. “The blue and silver for the fireplace mantle, or for the stair bannister?”

“Um, either will work,” I answered. I was not a decorator. Color coordinating stopped at my wardrobe. And I always chose easy-to-pair colors to keep it simple. My motto was nobody could go wrong with jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts because everything went with denim.

Murphy groaned. “Not you, too.”

“Hey, that’s a good band,” Jared said. He came in behind Murphy, gathering her against his chest as he sang to her and swayed the both of them.

Murphy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I can’t live with or without you either. Which one for the bannister?”

Jared plucked the garland from her hand and looped it around her. “I think it looks good right here.”

She rolled her eyes. “Jared—”

“Of course, you could be the tree topper, too. My own angel.”

Her eyes softened. “Flatterer.”

“Oh, look, mistletoe!” Jared said, backing her up under a row of it hanging between the kitchen and the living room.

“Who’s coming along to pick out the tree?” Paige called as she jogged down the stairs.

Several more pairs of feet came down the stairs, one behind the other.

“Hey, look at that, Airen,” Aiden said, guiding her by the shoulders.

“What?” she asked, giving him an odd look.

“Mistletoe,” he said, pointing up. As soon as her face tipped upward, Aiden kissed her soundly.

Mark spun Paige in a circle and moved her over, lining up with the others.

It was then I realized there were six strategically placed balls of mistletoe strung along the ceiling in a line.

“What the heck are y’all doing?” Riley asked from the top of the stairs as Ace and Eli came through the front door.

“Hey, Riles, come down here for a second,” Ace said, crooking his finger.

Eli walked over to where I stood and chuckled as he bent in to whisper against my neck. “I’d lay odds that this was Mark’s doing.”

Josh and Ella were the last to join us, and they looked a bit flushed as they hurried down the stairs.

“Wonder what put the glow on their faces?” Jared said, grunting when Murphy poked him in the side.

“What are y’all doing?” Josh asked, looking between the row of couples and then over to where Eli and I stood in the center of the room.

It was almost like they’d planned it, because each of them pointed at the ceiling.

“Hey, look… mistletoe,” Josh said. Turning to Ella, he wiggled his eyebrows and then pulled her in line with the rest of them.

I squirmed, shifting under the eyes of ten other people.

Eli laughed. Putting his hand against my lower back, he said, “Hey, look at that. Mistletoe.”

“Yeesh, took you long enough,” Jared said. “Mark, I took the liberty of setting up your camera, so…”

“You touched my camera?” Mark asked, leaning out to spear Jared with a look.

“Oh, come on… This is the perfect picture opportunity, and you know it!” Jared huffed. “I mean, you are the photographer… Jeez.”

Paige chuckled. “Well, he does have a point there.”

Mark smirked as he moved across the room where a camera sat on a tripod. He fiddled with it for a minute, looked through the view finder, and then tipped his head in Jared’s direction. “That’s okay, Jared. Fair is fair. Just remember that when I have Stella in my hands.”

Jared sucked in a sharp breath. “You wouldn’t.”

Mark winked and snapped a candid picture of Jared with his mouth hanging open. “Care to make a bet on that?”

I leaned in close to Eli and asked, “Who is Stella?”

“Jared’s—”

“Everyone back in place,” Mark said, touching a button on the camera that made a red light flash on the front. “And look happy, damn it!”

“Say mistletoe,” Jared shouted, and then bent Murphy over his arm.

I caught the pose briefly over Eli’s shoulder as he moved in and tipped my face up to his.

“And that’s a wrap,” Mark called, breaking Eli and me apart.

“Wow, I thought we were going to have to douse you two with ice water,” Jared said, jabbing Eli in the arm with a fake punch.

“Let’s go! The tree isn’t going to pick itself,” Riley said, shooing us toward the door.

“Put your name on this and then write up to five gift ideas,” Riley said, handing out a half sheet of paper to everyone.

“Are we drawing names?” Aiden asked.

“I figured it would be easier than shopping for eleven people,” Riley answered.

“Good idea,” Mark chimed in.

“But… but I had so many cool ideas for all of you,” Jared said, almost pouting. “Now you’re telling me I can’t do them?”

Ace busted out laughing. “Seriously, Jared? Don’t let this stop you. You want to go broke, knock yourself out, but I’m down with Riley’s idea.”

“Yeah, but what if I get Mark’s name?” Paige asked.

“Then you re-draw. Same goes if you get your own name. Okay, get to making your lists. When you’re done, crumple it into a ball and drop it in here,” Riley said, holding up a gift bag with a cheerful-looking snowman on it.

Everyone broke off in different directions to find a flat surface in which to write on, but kept the easy banter going.

I stared at the sheet resting on my knee. Other than my name, the page was blank. I had no idea what to write. Whenever I wanted something, I bought it. And it was usually something practical like new underwear or socks.

Riley was done first. Not surprising since it had been her idea, and she’d had more time to think about what to write. Catching my eye, she gave me a smile as she walked over and sat down beside me on the couch.

“The girl at the store? You can’t put that down, dumb ass,” Ace said to Jared.

“Girl? That says grill. You need glasses, for real,” Jared said, shaking his head.

“And where do you propose to put a grill when we get back to Chicago?” Murphy asked, looking at Jared as if he’d lost his mind.

His face scrunched, and then he sighed. “Good point. Damn.”

Riley’s shoulders shook with silent mirth. She reached out and plucked the paper from my knee, waving it at me. “The point, Nova, is to put down the things you want… not anything you need. Have fun with it. Like this,” she said, plucking the pen from my other hand and jotting something down.

“See, now you have the first thing on your list. Okay, what’s next?” she asked, holding my paper captive.

I leaned closer and gasped. “You can’t put that!”

Riley smirked. “And why not?”

I read the line again and felt my cheeks blush.

“Relax, Nova. It’s not like anyone would be selecting specific items for you. That’s why it’s called a gift card. You get to shop at your own discretion. Okay… what else?”

“What else, what?” I asked as Riley tapped the pen against her bottom lip and squinted at me.

“You could definitely use some warm-weather clothing. Your expedition-Alaska closet will have you roasting come summer,” she said, jotting down ‘T-shirts, size medium’.

“How the heck do you know my size?” I asked, wondering if she’d snuck into my closet.

She chuckled. “I’m a girl, too, remember? Okay, so besides these two things, what else can we put down? Do you like scented lotions or candles? What are the things you want… not things you need?”

I sighed. “But that’s just it… I don’t know what I want. I’ve never really been someone who had to have things. If that makes any sense.”

She nodded. “Actually, it does. Okay, so let’s go another route. Let’s go with your favorites. Everyone has favorites.”

Riley rattled off question after question, and I answered as best as I could. From my favorite color all the way down to my favorite animal. “Dogs. I like dogs.”

“Wait just a minute. If I can’t have a grill, you can’t have a dog,” Jared said, leaning over Riley’s shoulder as he eavesdropped on our conversation.

“No one said she was getting a dog, genius. We’re just going over the things she likes so she can finish up her list,” Riley huffed.

“Oh, well, in that case, Nova, you should put down something like a feather topper for your bed back in Chicago. Anyone else notice that it’s like sleeping on a brick?” Jared asked, looking around the room.

“Good idea,” Aiden said, jotting it on his list.

“Is there a budget to this, Riles? Because I’m thinking we should try to stick to a set amount to keep it fair for everyone,” Paige said, crumpling her paper into a ball and then tossing it in the snowman bag.

“Just be reasonable with what you’re spending. Try not to get too carried away. You don’t have to buy everything on someone’s list. This just helps when you’re picking out their gift,” Riley answered.

“It’s safe to say that no one’s buying you your own private island, Jared. So you might as well get the disappointment over now,” Eli said, ducking when Jared threw his balled-up paper at his head.

“Ha! You missed,” he crooned.

“What’s on your list, Eli? A year’s supply of junk food?” Jared asked. He bent over and picked up the ball of paper, tossing it in the bag.

“Maybe,” Eli said, smirking.

One by one, everyone’s list dropped into the bag, but mine still sat on my lap with three empty spots. I sighed, took the pen from Riley, and wrote ‘surprise me,’ before crumpling the paper. After getting up, I headed over to drop it in with the others.

“Who’s cooking?” Riley asked.

“Me,” Paige called from the kitchen. “I’m starting dinner, but it’ll be a little bit since this hamburger is still mostly frozen.”

“Yeesh, look at all that grease. Who bought the cheap meat?” Mark asked.

“Oh, yuck,” Riley said as she pushed up from the couch. “Be right back,” she called out as she rushed out of the room.

“Is she still not feeling well?” Paige asked, stepping back from the stove with the spatula in her hand.

Ace shook his head. “It’s on again, off again. I really hope she hasn’t picked up some crazy virus, or worse, something like malaria.”

Eli and I shook our heads as he explained, “Wouldn’t be malaria. Besides, she’s been vaccinated for everything under the sun. But if she’s not feeling better by the time we get back to Chicago, I’ll draw some blood and we’ll figure out what’s going on. She hasn’t been running a fever, has she?”

“No fever. Just random bouts of dizziness. Sometimes, she breaks out into a cold sweat. At first, thought she’d had a touch of food poisoning, but that doesn’t last as long as this has. Could be a food allergy.” He shrugged. “Whatever it is, it isn’t agreeing with her.”

Eli nodded before changing the subject. “Since all of us are home, are we getting in touch with our parents? You know they’ll be mad if they find out we were here at Christmas and didn’t say anything.”

There was a murmur of agreement around the room.

“Maybe we can do something here with them on Christmas Eve?” Paige said as she returned to jabbing at the block of cooking meat.

“Y’all know as well as I do that if they find out we’re here, they’ll demand Christmas day be spent with them. It will split us all up. If we invite them here, we can all stay together.”

“So we just need to decide which day to spring it on them… This could get interesting,” Josh said, chuckling as he pulled Ella into his arms. “I wonder if I’ll get yelled at for being home and not saying anything, or coming home with a wife they know nothing about?”

“Ye didn’t tell yer parents that ye married?” Airen asked, eyes widening as her mouth gaped.

“Haven’t really had the… ahh… courage to make that call,” Josh said, looking sheepish.

“I’m still a notary,” Jared said.

“What does that have to—”

Jared wiggled his eyebrows. “Could do a Christmas wedding and make it all official… for them.”

Ella shook her head. “No. Absolutely not. Not another wedding. If I have to, I’ll put my ring away and we’ll keep quiet. When Josh is ready, then he can tell them.”

“What the hell is it with you women and marriage?” Jared said, scowling at Murphy.

She scowled right back. “Don’t start.”

“Oh, this should be good,” Eli murmured as he moved closer to me and caught my hand in his with a wink. “I expect an explosion at any moment… from one of them,” he whispered.

Confused, I looked at him, expecting him to explain what he meant, but he just held up one finger and then another in his own silent countdown.

“Don’t start? Why not? You act like marrying me would be the worst thing in the world. I mean, seriously… what the hell? We live together. We sleep together. We’re already together. So why is it the minute I want to change your last name, you get gun shy and freak out?”

Jared sounded really upset. I looked to Eli and pointed toward the stairs. Jared and Murphy’s argument should be between the two of them. The rest of us should disperse.

Eli shook his head, holding my hand tight. We weren’t going anywhere.

“Why isn’t this enough, Jared? Why does it have to be all or nothing?” Murphy fired back.

“I never said I wanted all or nothing. I said I wanted you to be my wife. What are you so afraid of?” he asked, bringing his tone down a bit and sounding more reasonable.

Murphy crossed her arms. “I’m not afraid. I just don’t see why it’s so important.”

“God, you two are backward,” Aiden said, getting a dirty look from Airen.

Jared’s cheeks flushed with another wave of anger. “Oh, yeah? Would Airen say no if you asked her to marry you?”

“Airen, will you marry me?” Aiden asked.

Eli squeezed my hand as we waited for her to answer.

“Ye ken the answer to that already, Aiden. But just to be clear with everyone here, Aiden and I have talked about it. If we ever decide to make that commitment to one another, you’ll be the first to know,” she answered, moving close to him.

He draped his arm over her shoulder and kissed her on the forehead. Smirking, he turned to Jared. “Does that answer your question?”

“Fine. Whatever. What about you, Eli?” Jared asked, turning to us. “If you asked Nova—”

“Whoa there, brother. You forget, Nova and I are just starting out here. Sure, maybe one day we’ll talk about that. But for right now, we’re still learning about each other.”

“See? Your point isn’t going over very well, Jared.” Murphy’s cheeks blazed along with his.

“So, what? I’m supposed to just forget what I want, Murph? I’m supposed to just pretend like I didn’t ask you or pretend you didn’t say no?” he asked.

Defeat etched his face. His shoulders slumped as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“That’s not it at all… I—”

“Don’t, Murph. Just don’t,” he said, walking away.

The room quieted when Murphy dropped the spatula on the counter and then dashed out the front door.

“Damn,” Josh said and then sighed. “That’s not what I expected out of those two.”

Ella was up the stairs and then back down again with Murphy’s jacket in her hand. “Someone want to finish cooking the hamburger and start the noodles?” she asked, but disappeared out the door before anyone answered.

I wiggled my hand. When Eli let go, I went into the kitchen to help finish dinner. Murphy would be okay. Jared would, too. They just needed to talk about it and then put it to rest, one way or the other.

That night, as I lay curled up against Eli’s chest, my mind wandered back over the day. It had been good for the most part. Jared and Murphy had bristled over their earlier argument, but weren’t being rude to one another. I had a feeling it wasn’t the first time they’d got into it over marriage. And more than likely, it wouldn’t be the last.

I let it go and moved onto happier thoughts. I’d never been part of a big Christmas gathering. It was usually just Noni and me for most of the day until Stanley popped by.

Thinking of Noni swamped me with sadness, but also with love. She’d been everything to me. There wasn’t one moment of our time together that hadn’t counted for something, even when we did nothing but sit and watch TV together. I’d miss her for the rest of my days, but she’d never be gone because I carried her in my heart and thought of her often.

Eli sighed, arm tightening slightly.

“You okay?” I asked, turning over to face him.

He smiled, but it wasn’t quite right. “Just thinking.”

“I’d ask you to talk to me about it, but I can tell by the look on your face that you won’t.”

He moved, propping on his elbow and resting his head on his palm. He sighed deeply again. “It isn’t that I don’t want to talk to you about it, Nova. It’s that… well, I can’t. See, I made a promise. Only, I hadn’t thought it would be so hard to keep it.”

That was news to me. “Everyone is allowed their secrets, Eli. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over them. As long as they aren’t hurting someone else, you shouldn’t feel guilty.”

He gave me a real smile and then rolled onto his back, arm stretching out to gather me against him.

His body was warm. His heart a steady beat under my cheek. “It’s hurting you, though. To keep the secret, I mean,” I said.

“It’s eating me alive, and I don’t know how to let it not. I feel like I’ll burst if I don’t tell you. And then I feel ashamed of myself for even thinking about telling you because of the promise I made,” he explained.

His hand moved with slow strokes up and down my arm. I breathed in the silence. There wasn’t much I could say to make him feel better. Whatever Eli struggled with, he had to work it out on his own, or with whomever it was he promised to keep the secret for.

“What bothers me the most,” he said, settling further into his pillow, “is that even if I did talk about it, I don’t think anyone would understand.”

He shifted and blew out a long breath. “I don’t even understand it.”

“Eli, maybe you should talk to whoever it is who swore you to secrecy. Maybe if you talk to them about what it is that’s bothering you, it might make you feel better. I mean, it’s possible that’s all you need—just someone to talk to.”

“Nova, this goes so much further than talking to someone. I—” He cut himself off, then drew in a deep breath that lifted my face as his chest rose. A long rush of words came out of him. Words that hit me hard enough to take my breath away as he explained what had really happened to him in Mongolia.

We both sat up as he took my hands in his, unable to let one another go. Unable to break the connection between us because if we did, death might creep back in and take him once more.

“I’m sorry,” he said. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

“Don’t do that. Don’t apologize. How can you be sorry for something out of your control? Was it your choice to go to Siberia? No. Was it you who fired the gun? No. Whatever Cole did… however he did it… it brought you back to us. It brought you back to me.” Tears blurred my vision, and I brought our hands up to dash them away.

“We can’t tell anyone, Nova. I broke my promise by telling you, but I couldn’t hold it back from you. Not anymore. Not when it feels like you’re everything I was missing. Having you here, knowing you’ll be wherever I am? That’s more than I could have ever hoped for in this lifetime. I didn’t just want to tell you… I had to tell you. Now, when it sets heavy on me, I know I can talk to you about it and push it back into the recess of my mind.”

I leaned forward and kissed him. “And I’ll make you a promise. I’ll never say a word. I know what it cost you to talk to me about it. To tell me when you weren’t supposed to tell anyone at all.”

He let go of my hand and cupped my face. “You are my heart. Do you know that? You’ve been my heart since the moment I met you, Nova. And for a brief moment in time, you were the star who guided me back home.”

“I dreamed of you,” I said, remembering the odd dream I’d had of us sitting side by side while we watched the northern lights. “It was the oddest dream, too.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. “You called my name. The light got really bright, and you called my name.”

I nodded, blinking more tears away and leaving them to roll down my cheeks. Even in death, we’d somehow been connected.

“I saw her,” he said.

“Who?”

“Noni. She was so beautiful, Nova. Her eyes were so clear. She’s at peace. I know that without a doubt,” he said, leaning forward until our foreheads met.

I cried, and he let me without trying to gather me close or shush me. He let me feel the pain and then, when I was ready, he held his arms out. I moved to his lap. My head rested on his shoulder, and his arms went around me. Together, we sighed. We healed.

“This is turning out to be one hell of a Christmas, huh?” he asked.

I chuckled. “You can say that again. But you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

A sound of contentment pushed past his lips. “Me either.”

“I love you, Eli. Today, tomorrow… always.”

“Love you too, my Nova.”