It was one of those perfect summer days. The trees were a shining, emerald green. The flowers were in full bloom.

I stood deep in the forest gathering twigs for kindling to be used in the fire. Even though the days were warmer, we still had to light fires at night to stay warm.

It had been a decent week. Uneventful, which is usually how I liked them. I taught Bible study to the children. Bastian helped. We hadn’t returned to the woods, choosing to stay at The Retreat. But the kids enjoyed having Bastian there, even if they knew better than to show it overtly.

He had thanked me for the sketchpad and pencils. I had found them at the bottom of a forgotten drawer in the gathering room. I had taken them before anyone could notice. I wasn’t sure what had come over me, but Bastian’s response to the modest gift felt good.

“Have you drawn the sunrise?” I asked him.

He gave me a strange look. “No. Not yet.”

I hadn’t pressed him further.

I felt as though I had made a new friend. One I hadn’t necessarily wanted. One that I knew I shouldn’t trust. But there was a contentment to his presence that I enjoyed. And I wasn’t the only one.

Little Rosie had become enamored with him.

I could understand her infatuation.

When I wasn’t busy with the children and my other duties, I read the scriptures. I prayed. I prepared meals. I spent time with Anne knitting a new sweater for Pastor.

The routine was the same as always. The days rolled on, one after another, but I found that I no longer craved the consistency.

Dead leaves crunched beneath my feet and I hummed under my breath as I bent over to retrieve more kindling.

Last night after, long after Mom had gone to bed, I had sat on the floor, the oil light as dim as possible but still providing light. I had torn out a few pieces of paper from the sketchpad I had given Bastian. With a pencil I had taken from the gathering room I drew a picture. The first I had completed since I was eight years old.

Unlike Bastian, I was no artist. It was a very crude and elementary depiction of buildings and cars. Of every detail from my imagination.

Of the New York City Bastian told me about that day in the garden.

And when I was finished I stared at it for a long time. Tears welled up in my eyes and I inexplicably wanted to cry.

I balled up the picture and threw it in the fire. Watching it turn to ash as I hated myself for longing for something I shouldn’t.

For imagining a world that I knew was dangerous.

No matter how beautiful Bastian portrayed it.

I had gone to bed and prayed for hours. Asking God for forgiveness. To wash away my sinful thoughts. I dug my nails into my skin, the pain reminding me of my purpose. Of the plan.

Pastor Carter would be so disappointed…

The shame overwhelmed me.

I bit my lip, teeth piercing soft flesh.

I had fallen asleep with the taste of blood in my mouth.

The sound of noisy footsteps interrupted my thoughts. I could hear them before I saw them. The Scott brothers pushed through branches, trouncing over undergrowth. They were talking low. Bastian seemed intent on what he was saying. David looked tired. Every time I saw him he seemed to be fading away. He had obviously lost weight to the point his skin was hanging from his bones.

They didn’t notice me at first, too focused on their conversation.

“I just don’t see why we can’t call Mom and Dad and let them know we’re all right. What is Pastor Carter’s big issue with us using the phone?” Bastian was saying.

David shrugged. “They’re his rules. We shouldn’t question them.”

It sounded like something I would have said. I would be the first to remind someone that we should adhere to Pastor’s dictates. They were in our best interests. I had subscribed to this mode of thinking for ten years. Yet hearing it from the older Scott brother’s mouth bothered me. It sounded distorted and wrong.

Why shouldn’t Bastian be able to contact his parents?

Why did we have to cut off ties with family? With friends? The more I thought about it the less sense it made.

“Right. They’re his rules. He’s not a damn dictator—” He stopped short when he saw me standing there, my arms full of sticks. “Uh, hi.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “How’s it going?”

I dropped the wood onto the pile I had made and dusted off my hands. “It’s going just fine. How about you?”

Bastian and David shared a look I couldn’t read. “We’re just peachy. Thought we’d come out here for a little bit before the rest of our day was micromanaged.”

“Baz—” David said his name with a note of angry warning.

The brothers seemed tense. Unhappy. There were no easy smiles on Bastian’s face. And David looked as though he were about to fall over.

“How was prayer group?” I asked. Bastian was clearly agitated. I instinctually wanted to tread carefully. I had learned through experience with my mother to manage the situation carefully.

But Bastian wasn’t Daphne Bishop. I had to remember that.

“We’re tired and my brain feels numb from boredom, but it was dandy,” Bastian complained.

“Tell me how you really feel,” I quipped. Bastian’s face cleared slightly and he smiled.

“I think I just did,” he replied. We shared a grin, though it faded too quickly.

David leaned down and gathered a few twigs, adding them to my pile. “Pastor Carter is an amazing man. He wants what’s best for all of us. He only wants to see that we are accepted by God. That we’re living our best lives.” His movements were sluggish and listless as though he were struggling to do the bare minimum. However, when he spoke, there was a fire there that I recognized in my fellow disciples. In myself. An absolute belief in the man who would lead us home.

“We can live our best lives without sequestering ourselves on the side of a mountain. Just sayin’,” Bastian added, his expression pinched and disapproving.

“That’s the toxicity of outside influences talking, Baz! That’s what Pastor warns us about. We have to expunge the negativity from our souls otherwise we’ll be left when our family ascends,” David exclaimed, showing more animation than I had ever seen from him. His zeal had me taking a step back.

Bastian seemed used to this. He barely flinched as David’s demeanor became more aggressive in an effort to make his point. “Pastor Carter is preparing us for The Awakening.” David’s face flushed red, his breathing labored.

I knew that for David, like the rest of us, his devotion to Pastor Carter was absolute. The wild expression in his eyes was one I was sure could be seen on my own face at times. He was practically regurgitating the same words I spoke. The same convictions.

And it bothered me.

For a brief moment, it didn’t sound sane. His extremism teetered dangerously and I felt ill.

Is that what I looked like? Is that what I sounded like?

Maybe you need to ask yourself what it is that you don’t want the rest of the world to see...

“I could use some help gathering firewood if you’re free,” I spoke up, feeling the need to intervene before something happened. Needing to change the subject before I went into freefall.

Did I sound that irrational?

I pushed the unwanted thoughts as far down as possible. Suppressed where I didn’t have to deal with them.

Bastian’s face relaxed marginally. He too seemed appreciative for the distraction. “Sure, we’d be happy to help you.” He bent over and started gathering an armful of thicker branches. “It’s a really nice day. Seems a shame to be stuck doing chores.”

“I’m almost done here, then it’s time for Daily Devotional,” I said. Though I didn’t feel the desire for prayer the way I usually did. I had had enough prayer.

“Right. Daily Devotional,” Bastian said, though he didn’t sound happy about it. David had wandered off and started to gather wood farther away. I noticed how Bastian watched his brother while trying not to be obvious about it.

“How’s he doing?” I asked softly, so David wouldn’t overhear me.

Bastian took the wood I had gathered and added it to his pile. “Not so great. He’s struggling. Though he seems to do well out here.” He looked around the densely wooded area. “He’s always been an outdoorsy guy. Being stuck inside in prayer groups isn’t good for him. He likes the fresh air and being surrounded by nature. When we were teenagers we’d spend weekends hiking trails around Ohio. He was really into those survival groups, where you’d take a backpack and live off the land for a week. It’s why the military was a perfect fit for him.”

I watched David as Bastian spoke and could see how much calmer he was out here, in the woods, than he was back at The Retreat. Even though he was throwing himself into his new life, it was obvious this is where he was happiest.

There’s so much good. So much beauty. And you’re missing it all.

I made a decision. It was spontaneous and out of character. But in that instant, it felt right.

“Remember I told you about the waterfall a few miles from here?” I bundled up the pile of kindling, done with the task.

Bastian frowned. “I think so.”

“Would you like to see it?”

Bastian’s lip quirked. “You mean right now?”

I nodded. “Yes. Right now.”

Bastian glanced back at his brother who had stopped gathering wood and was now leaning against a tree, his eyes closed. As though he were taking strength from it. “What about Daily whatever?”

I didn’t correct him this time. “You can connect with God out here too. Isn’t that what you told Clement and Stanley?”

He smirked. “Yeah, but I was saying what I thought would get you guys out of trouble.”

“Yeah, well whatever it was, it’s true. So, come on.”

He didn’t hesitate. He dropped the sticks he had been collecting, dusting off his hands.

“Dave, come on, buddy. Sara has something she wants to show us.”

David had been resistant to missing Daily Devotional. I understood why. We were conditioned to never deviate from routine.

But I didn’t care.

I wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

It was a bonus to have company.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll talk to Pastor Carter. Tell him we spent time in the woods together. He’ll understand,” I promised. Though I wasn’t so sure Pastor Carter would understand at all. The likelihood of him being incredibly unhappy about what he would see as a defiance made a tremor go through me.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Bastian was like an excited puppy. His mood was infectious. I smiled.

“Okay, it’ll take a while to get there. It’s about two miles from here,” I warned.

Bastian searched around and found a good sized walking stick, large enough to grip sturdily in one hand. “Okay, all set.”

David still seemed unsure, but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips when Bastian handed him a walking stick. “As long as you think it’s okay.”

He wanted to go. I could tell. There was a flush on his face that had nothing to do with fanatical preaching.

“Absolutely,” I told him. Even if, deep down there was a niggling of doubt. Of worry that—

“It’s totally okay,” I said more firmly.

“All right then, come on—”

There was the crunch of leaves. Before I had a chance to panic I caught sight of familiar brown hair. “Anne, what are you doing out here?”

Anne stopped, seeming surprised at the sight of me with the Scott brothers. “I was looking for you actually.” She looked from me to David and Bastian. “What are you guys doing?”

“Sara was going to take us to a waterfall,” Bastian answered for me.

Anne raised her eyebrows and gave me a pointed look. “She was?”

I shrugged. “I thought it’d be nice to show them.”

“Would you like to come?” David asked, his voice gruff. Yet hopeful.

“Yes. I’d love that,” my friend said without pause. I knew she would never lecture me about attending Daily Devotional instead.

I would have though. If the roles were reversed, I would have berated her for breaking the rules.

The realization didn’t sit well with me.

Piosity was not attractive on anyone.

“Let me find you a walking stick,” David insisted, rooting around on the ground until he found one the perfect size for Anne. He handed it to her with a shy smile. She smiled back. I could see their fingers touch briefly. He was so much taller than she was. She looked small and delicate standing next to him.

“Come on, the day’s not getting any younger.” Bastian clapped his hands together like a schoolteacher.

“We have to go that way,” I instructed, pointing north.

“It’s quite a long way if I remember. It’s been a few years since Sara and I have been out here,” Anne added as we started to hike through the trees.

“No worries. I like getting sweaty.” Bastian wiggled his eyebrows and I couldn’t help but snort.

David and Anne were ahead of us, talking together. David bent his head low so he could hear whatever it was Anne was saying. Their arms brushed together. The longer we walked, the more alert David became. Like a burden was lifted from his very heavy shoulders.

“I like her,” Bastian said, holding a branch up so I could walk beneath it. “When they’re together I see a little of the old David Scott.”

“Anne’s been through a lot. She understands how hard this transition is,” I responded. Bastian waited as I hopped over a fallen log, steadying me when I tripped.

“I thought the people who came here wanted to be here.” He sounded slightly sarcastic. As if he were throwing my words back at me. I deserved it though.

Though it didn’t stop me from feeling defensive. I swallowed the angry retort that bubbled up my throat. Because I had said that. And it wasn’t true. Not always.

Not for me.

Not for Anne either.

And especially not for Bastian.

“Sometimes it’s not our choice to be here. But we learn to adapt,” I admitted softly. David and Anne moved farther ahead and we had almost lost sight of them. The murmur of their voices disappearing in the thick wood.

“No, I guess when you’re eight, it’s not your choice at all.” I didn’t like the sympathy on his face. I didn’t need it. I wasn’t someone to feel sorry for.

“My mother brought us here. Yes, I hated it at first. But after a while, I realized she was right to bring us to Pastor Carter. He only wants—”

“What’s best for everyone. Yeah, I’ve heard it a million times,” Bastian deadpanned.

We came to a steep drop off. David and Anne were already making their way to the bottom. Carefully I started to follow, thankful for the walking stick Bastian had found for me. I had forgotten how treacherous it was getting to the waterfall. As a kid, it hadn’t seemed so daunting. It was a bit different as an adult. I was clumsier. Less sure on my feet.

“Hold on to me. It’ll be easier that way.” Bastian held out his hand and I took it, needing the support. He held onto me tightly. Not letting go even when I stumbled.

“Do you think you’d feel the same way about Pastor Carter’s sermons if you heard them for the first time now? You’ve been raised on it, so you’ve come to accept it as the gospel truth. You are made to recite the same principles, the same beliefs over and over again until there is no other way to think. No other way to live. That’s called indoctrination.” Instinctually I felt angry. Any suggestion that what I was raised to believe wasn’t true brought out vicious emotions in me.

Bastian must have recognized the ire in my expression. He squeezed my hand. A warm, secure gesture. Skin on skin. “I’m not saying what Pastor Carter teaches is wrong. I understand that to you, it’s absolute. But there’s more than one truth, Sara. There’s more than one path. You have to be open to what else is out there.”

I felt lightheaded. The sun was hotter now than it had been. I could tell by the way it was dipping in the sky that it was now early afternoon. We had totally lost sight of Anne and David but I wasn’t worried. Anne knew where she was going.

“Pastor Carter says there’s one path. One plan. God’s plan.” I repeated the words I’d always said. Always been told.

It sounded hollow to my ears.

Bastian nodded. “Maybe that’s true. Or maybe it’s not. The ideology of one man doesn’t have to dictate your entire life, you know. You’re eighteen. You’re an adult. You can make your own choices.”

Make my own choices?

That had never been an option for me.

I had known from the time I was a child that my life wasn’t my own. That I had one unquestionable fate. I had never doubted it. Perhaps because those around me accepted it too.

Bastian didn’t accept it.

He asked me questions that I didn’t know how to answer.

I had known for the very beginning there was something different about him.

I had thought it dangerous at first.

Did I still?

“I’m preparing my soul for The Awakening—”

“About this Awakening. What is it exactly? You all talk about it enough, but I have no idea what it is. No one will tell me.”

Because none of us, aside from Pastor Carter, really knew.

I hesitated. Bastian instantly picked up on it. “You don’t know, do you,” he stated flatly.

“I—we—it’s when we ascend,” I finally said lamely. It sounded ridiculous. Even to me.

We came to a break in the trees. Ahead of us lay a large open field. David and Anne were dots in the distance. Bastian grabbed my arm, holding me back. Not roughly. But with persistence. “Sara, you’ve lived the past ten years believing you are destined for this great event, yet you don’t know what it is?” He wasn’t mocking me. Instead he looked desolate.

It was the desolation that almost pierced my heart.

“Pastor Carter knows,” was all I could say.

Only Pastor Carter.

“Is that enough though? To take the word of one man? Why is it okay for him to hold all the cards? Why is it okay for him to dictate how you live just because he says so?” I felt myself quake inside. From anger at his presumption.

At fear that he may be right…

“No. That’s not how it is.”

I thought of the dark walls of The Refuge. Of the day I had stopped crying. Blood on my wrist.

Then Pastor Carter’s face above me.

He saved me from myself.

That’s what he told me.

“Only I can save you, Sara. Lean on me. Listen to me. I’ll never leave you…”

“Why do you do that?” Bastian asked suddenly, pulling me out of my darkest memories.

“Do what?” I asked in confusion.

“Rub your wrist when you’re upset.”

I dropped my hand, not realizing what I was doing. “I’m not upset.”

Lies. So many of them.

They devoured me.

Bastian lifted my wrist. Ran his thumb over the thin, raised scar. His eyes lifted to mine. They shattered me. “Sara…”

I snatched my hand back, wrapping my fingers around my wrist. “It’s nothing.”

Realizing he had stepped over a line, he let it go. Though there was an awareness now when he looked at me that was unsettling. As though he could see straight through me. To the darkest, most desperate part of me.

He looked as though he wanted to say something more.

Maybe I wanted him to. Maybe I wanted to share the burden.

Instead he sighed, the softest of noises. The saddest of sounds.

“How much farther do we need to go?” He tried to smile. It was bleak and pointless.

“Only another fifteen minutes or so.” My voice was brittle and weak. As though all the air had been taken from my lungs.

I could almost still feel his fingers on my wrist. On the secret I kept hidden there.

He took my hand. “Show me the way, Sara.”

We walked across the meadow. The soft heat of the summer day bearing down on us. I didn’t take his hand. I wished I was brave enough to.

The sun was so bright it was blinding. It scorched my skin. It tasted like fire.

I imagined dying that way. With his hand in mine.

I could hear the waterfall before I saw it. The roar as it hit the rocks. We all but ran down a hill to the river below. I could see David and Anne sitting on the bank, shoes off, feet dangling into the water.

Anne waved as we approached. “Took you long enough,” she called out.

“It was farther than I remembered.” I kicked my shoes off and waded in up to my ankles. The water was chilly, but not too cold.

“Wow,” Bastian breathed beside me. The waterfall was no Niagara Falls, but it was difficult to hear each other over the crash. We were close enough to feel the spray.

“There’s a great fishing spot just down the river. We used to go swimming there when we were younger.” I pointed downstream.

“Why don’t you come here anymore?” he asked, taking off his socks and shoes and joining me in the water.

“With my other duties, I don’t really have time to run off and play in the woods.” I felt the weight of that statement. These woods had made my early days at The Retreat almost bearable. Anne and I had spent hours by this waterfall after she arrived. Sometimes talking. Sometimes silent. The distance between here and what lay behind us felt huge at the time. And important.

I hadn’t realized I missed the waterfall. The respite from the immensity I wore around my heart. I hadn’t known it was even there. Until now.

“You should always make time to run off and play in the woods. Like the kids did the other day,” Bastian said, kicking water in my direction.

“Hey!” I squealed, my skirt soaked.

“Oops, sorry,” Bastian chuckled, splashing me again. The water was cold as it dried but I didn’t care.

For once…it really didn’t matter.

“You don’t want to start something you can’t finish, Bastian Scott,” I warned, leaning down and filling my cupped hands with water.

Bastian, seeing what I was doing, started to back away from me. “I can finish whatever you start, Sara Bishop.”

I threw the water at him, dousing his face before he could turn away. He shouted as the cold droplets slid down his shirt. “Fucking hell!”

I splashed him again, laughing, not even caring about his foul language.

“Wait a minute, Sara, give a guy a second to—” He pulled on my arm and then both of us were falling into the river.

“Bastian!” I yelled. But I wasn’t angry. Far from it. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Bastian started to swim away from me. I went after him, grabbing his leg and yanking hard, pulling him beneath the water. He rose up, sputtering, shaking his head like a dog.

“You’re in for it now,” he teased. His dark hair hung in wet curtains around his face. His blue eyes sparkled with glee.

My breath caught in my throat.

I couldn’t look away…

And then he dunked me.

So, I pulled him under the water with me.

We both bobbed to the surface. He pushed my hair out of my eyes. “Much better,” he murmured. “I like seeing your face. It’s the kind of face that’s meant to be looked at.”

My heart thudded. Painfully. Purposefully. I ducked my head back under the water, mostly to cool the heat in my cheeks. When I came back up Bastian took my hand and pulled me towards the bank.

“Come on. There’s something we have to do.” He climbed out of the water and I clamored after him.

“What are we doing?” I asked, out of breath.

Bastian stopped at the foot of the cliff wall that led to the crest of the waterfall. He pointed to the top, at least twenty feet in the air. “We’re going up there.”

I refused to budge. “Uh-uh. No way.”

Bastian’s eyes sparkled at me. Full of so many things. He held out his hand. Waiting for me to take it.

“Take my hand, Sara. Let me teach you how to fly.”

I couldn’t.

I could get hurt.

What if I slipped and fell?

What if I never tried and always wondered what could have been?

Impulsively I took his hand. With careful footing, we made our way to the top of the waterfall. Bastian went slowly, making sure I wouldn’t slip. His hands hot on my hips as I climbed ahead of him. I felt rattled. Too warm. My clothes felt as though they clung to every inch of me and Bastian could see everything.

“You okay?” he shouted from behind me, needing to be loud so I could hear him over the pounding water.

“Yes,” I yelled back. And I was. I really was.

Finally, we made our way to the top. Bastian put his arm around my waist, holding me close. “Look,” he said softly against my ear. I could feel his lips. I should move away.

I didn’t want to.

Standing at the top of the waterfall, I felt as though I could have been at the top of the world. David and Anne seemed so far away.

“Amazing, right?” Bastian pressed so, so close.

I turned to look at him. Our faces only inches apart. I could feel his breath on my mouth. His eyes burned bright. “It is,” I agreed, my voice barely heard above the waterfall.

“Sara…” My name came out as a plea.

As something indescribable.

I was caught up in the moment. I wasn’t thinking.

Only about what it would feel like to kiss him. What his lips would taste like. What his skin would feel like.

It would be so easy. To lean forward. To press my mouth to his.

He wanted me to. I could tell. Even with my zero experience with the opposite sex, I knew Bastian wanted me.

And I wanted him just as much.

It was all so perfect. For once.

Absolutely perfect.

“Let’s jump,” I breathed.

Bastian’s lips quirked upward. “What?” He sounded winded. As though he had just run a mile.

Without thinking, I kissed him.

Not the way I wanted to.

But on his cheek. At the spot where his lips met.

It was the safest place to touch him. Even if I craved so much more.

“You said you’d teach me how to fly, Baz. Come on.” I used his nickname on purpose. He liked it. I could tell.

“Okay then,” he said, holding my hand tightly.

We walked to the edge of the waterfall. It was a straight drop. I knew that the water at the base was deep. You couldn’t see the bottom. It was safe enough.

With Bastian, I wasn’t scared.

We stood there for a moment. Bastian’s thumb ran along the scar on my wrist. I unconsciously stilled. But he didn’t say anything else. There were no more questions.

“On the count of three,” Bastian shouted. “One. Two. Three—”

We jumped.

The world fell away.

There was only me. Only Bastian.

And the incredible feeling of falling with him.

When we hit the water, I held my breath, plunging deep. And still he held my hand.

We broke the surface together, sputtering. It was the most exhilarating feeling I had ever had.

“That was crazy!” Bastian exclaimed. He took my face in both his hands while we treaded water. “Who knew you had that in you, Sara?”

“There’s more to me than you think,” I sassed.

He rubbed my cheek with his thumb. “I have no doubt.”

“Watch out!” we heard David yell, our attention pulled reluctantly from each other.

David stood on the bank, a crazy smile on his face. “Oh no,” Bastian moaned.

We ducked just as he jumped into the river, curling his legs into his chest, creating a huge splash.

“Dick!” Bastian gasped, swimming after his brother. I watched with something like wonder as the two brothers horse-played like kids. David laughed. It was jarring. Shaky and disused, it sounded foreign coming from his mouth.

I swam to the bank of the river where Anne still sat, watching the two men with a dreamy expression.

I trudged out of the water to sit beside my friend. “You’ve ruined that shirt,” she commented, gesturing to the ripped sleeve and mud-stained collar.

I shrugged. “Oh well.”

Anne’s eyes widened. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

I chuckled. “She’s taking the day off.”

Anne put her arm around my shoulders, not caring that I was making her wet too. “Good. It’s been too long.”

David lifted Bastian as though he weighed nothing and threw him into the water. David looked back at the bank. At Anne. He put his hand to his mouth, kissing his palm. Sending it to her.

She beamed.

I felt concern. It could only end badly. She wasn’t allowed to choose who to give her heart to.

I thought of my own boldness. Of kissing Bastian, no matter how chaste. Of holding his hand. Of letting him touch my face.

Neither of us had the right of choice. It wasn’t our fate. Our path.

Anne and I should know better.

I stared harder at my dearest friend. At the affection written there.

I had never seen that expression on her face before. I hadn’t realized I was missing something that had never existed. I wanted that for her.

Happiness.

I allowed myself to feel the fullness in my chest. The way my stomach knotted and clenched when I looked at the man with blue eyes and a smile like the sun. Bastian Scott. With his endless questions and stories. Never contented to accept what he was told, he had to know…

“Hey Sara, check it out!” Bastian hollered, standing on a large rock that jetted out. I shielded my eyes from the sun so I could see him. When he was sure I was watching, he did a cannonball into the waterfall.

I made a show of clapping wildly and whistling through my fingers. Bastian grinned, pleased by my reaction.

Anne rested her head on my shoulder. “You like him.”

I puffed up, embarrassed, denial on my tongue. But I never voiced it. There was no point. Anne had always known me better than I knew myself.

Anne took my hand, lacing our fingers together as we often did. “He likes you too.”

“No, he doesn’t—” I started to say, my cheeks heated. My mouth dry.

“He makes you smile.”

I leaned into her as we held each other up. “David makes you smile,” I observed back.

We were quiet for a while. Letting the weight of it sink in.

“He’ll never allow it,” Anne stated mournfully.

My eyes began to burn. My chest ached. “I know.”

“We can’t have a choice, can we?” Her voice cracked and I knew she was crying but trying not to.

I squeezed her hand. I wished, more than anything, that I could tell her differently.

“Enjoy today, Anne,” I whispered. “Just enjoy today.”

But we both knew it wasn’t enough.