Chapter Thirty-Five
Gabby
I had no plan after sobbing in Lauren’s arms in the practice room. I didn’t know what to do. I just knew that I needed to do something.
The first thing was to put my stuff away. Then I needed to see Jonathan.
His roommate surprised me by opening the door. After spending so much time at their house without Ben there, part of me forgot he lived there. Or figured he’d just gone ahead and moved in with his girlfriend despite Jonathan’s confidence that that wouldn’t happen until they got engaged or married.
But Ben smiled at me and waved me in, telling me to give him a minute to get his stuff together and then he’d leave Jonathan and I alone to figure things out.
I didn’t have a plan for what to say when I burst into his room, and everything, all the thoughts and feelings that had been running through me since I clicked the link that my brother sent me spilled out of my mouth. And then, to my complete and utter horror, I broke down sobbing again.
When his arms wrapped around me, I felt the fractured pieces of me fitting back together again, like he and he alone could keep me from breaking into a million pieces. Even though his presence in my life, and then that song, was responsible for me ending up that way.
But no matter how much my logical brain tried to convince me to stay away from him, that our relationship is a bad idea, doomed from the start, I can’t stay away from him. Not don’t want to. Can’t. It’s physically impossible. Especially now that I’m here in his arms, in his bed once more.
After showering together—a slow, sensual experience full of touching and kissing—he pulls me back to bed. He spoons behind me, his legs wrapping around mine, his face buried in my hair as he breathes in deep. I snuggle back against him, pressing every part of me against every part of him I can reach. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me too.” He presses another kiss to my shoulder. “I didn’t—“ He breaks off and clears his throat. “I didn’t mean for those videos to do that to you. I just, I mean I wanted you to see them. To know how I feel, how I felt, without you. And I hoped it would make you talk to me at least, maybe open the door to me convincing you that we can work this out somehow. But I never wanted to cause you pain.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I squirm around to face him, laying my hand on his cheek. His stubble is rough on my palm, like it was rough between my legs not too long ago. He turns his face into my hand, his eyes closing like he’s relishing the contact. “I didn’t want to cause you pain either. I thought I was doing the right thing.” I shake my head. “But it isn’t right. It’s too hard. It hurts too much. And I can’t take it anymore.” His eyes open, and they’re deep green today, serious and searching. “If you say we can figure it out, then I believe you. I don’t know how it’ll work, but if you say we can do it, then okay. We’ll do it.”
His arms tighten around me, and he draws me in closer. “I don’t know either,” he whispers. “But we will figure it out. I promise.”
At my nod, he kisses me again. For long minutes, that’s all we do, his tongue tasting all around my mouth, mine finding its way back into his, sliding together, getting reacquainted, our bodies pressed together from chest to ankle the whole time. The longer our kissing goes on, the more aware I become of him hardening against my thigh that’s caught between his legs.
He lets out a groan when I create a little space between our bodies so I can reach down and stroke him. I love the way he reacts to my touch. The way he thrusts into my hand, not holding back anything, his sounds and his movements letting me know how much he enjoys my hand on him.
With a sigh, he rolls onto his back at my urging, his hands never leaving me as I make my way down until I can slide him into my mouth. His moan is everything as my tongue plays over the crown, then I suck him as deep as I can, squeezing and pumping his shaft.
But he doesn’t let me finish him with my mouth. All too soon, one hand wraps around my wrist and the other hooks under my arm. Reluctantly releasing him, I let him drag me up his body until he brings my face to his again. This time I’m the one to reach for a condom, and I break the kiss and sit up, straddling him, his cock nestled against my clit. I roll my hips as I tear open the condom, eliciting another groan from him, his jaw clenching as he arches against me.
“Jesus, Gabby. Stop teasing. I need you.”
With a flirty grin, I slide against him once more before moving back enough to roll the condom on, giving him one more squeeze, getting my name in response on a drawn-out moan. When I line him up and move down, taking him inside me in one slow, sweet slide, we both let out simultaneous sounds of pleasure. His hands climb my torso, settling over my breasts, tweaking my nipples, and I move my hips in reaction.
I never got completely comfortable riding him before. But now I can’t think of anything I’d rather do. The way his hips rise to meet mine, the feel of his hands on my breasts like this, the way he stares at me—like I’m everything—make this the best ever. I thought before was the best, but this, his eyes locked on mine, my name a chant on his lips, the feel of him bucking beneath me, the friction so sweet its almost too much, it’s everything. He’s everything.
“Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Oh, Jonathan,” I pant as my orgasm overtakes me. I shudder and clench, unable to keep moving, but his hands go to my hips and he holds me in place as he pounds into me from below, making it all last forever. Then he slams up hard and fast and stills, grinding me down against him, a long groan ripped from his throat.
His fingers relax their death grip on my hips after he finishes, and he wraps his arms around me again, pulling me down to his chest, kissing me again with him still embedded inside me.
When he ends the kiss, his eyelids flutter open, and his green eyes meet mine again. “I love you, Gabby. That’s the most important thing. The rest is just details. They’ll fall into place.”
I nod, deciding to believe him about the details. “I love you too.” I brush one more kiss over his lips before sliding off to one side, snuggling back into his bed. Where I belong.