Chapter Eighteen
A blood-curdling scream ripped from my lungs and twisted me inside out. I grabbed at my sweater until my hands touched bare skin. My fingers curled into my flesh, where a phantom sting pulsed like rhythmic blasts of dynamite. I pulled my hands away, expecting to see blood, but through the blur of unshed tears, I saw nothing. They were clean.
“God, Abby.” James shook my shoulders and forced me to meet his gaze, but my stomach lurched and I bent forward, pressing my palms against my knees.
A shattered gasp made staccato sounds echo between the buildings before drops of crimson blood splattered the ground from my nose.
“It’s okay. You’re here, you’re safe.” James rubbed my back and whispered in my ear.
But I stared at those drops of blood and knew his words wouldn’t be true much longer. Roselli would come tomorrow, and if he didn’t kill me, I knew my drift would. Either way, I was dead.
“Take this,” Evelyn said dangling a handkerchief from her fingertips.
“Thank you.” I pressed the cloth to my face and watched as Evelyn’s face scrunched with worry.
“I’m not sure what all just happened, but from the looks ‘a it, it’s not good. If I could give ya any advice, it’d be ta disappear. Go far away from the likes ‘a my cousin. Forget about that diamond.”
I pulled the fabric from my face and stared at the bloodstained cloth. At the corner there was an initial embroidered. I turned the fabric and ran my thumb over the letter B.
“My mother gave me that afore she died.” Evelyn was staring at the embroidered letter. “Told me it was my father’s, but I think she just wanted to give me somethin’ ta hold on to. That man didn’t have an ounce a class, and that handkerchief—well, I think it’s too fine ta ever have been his.”
My thumb ran over the dense stitching. “I feel bad for ruining it.”
“Don’t. I don’t have a need for it.”
She reached for my shoulder and gave me a squeeze before turning away.
“Abby,” James’s voice was at my ear, soft like a caress. His arms enveloped me, and I buried my face in his chest, pressing myself as close to him as I could.
“You scared me,” he said. His words were rough and hoarse. “I’ve never heard a scream like that.”
With my ear pressed against him, I felt his words vibrate against my cheek, and when he fell silent, I concentrated on the steady sound of his beating heart.
I came back. Mack had said I wouldn’t. He’d said if I witnessed my death, I’d die. Yet, here I stood in James’s arms, in the alley where it began. I squeezed my eyes closed, and my drift, in all its grisly detail, came flooding back. I could see the bloodstain swelling on the bodice of my dress. I could see my hands dripping with it. I heard a scream—Colin’s scream. It was an awful sound, born of pain. Of suffering. Of the worst kind of despair.
Colin.
I’d taken a bullet for him. I’d died to protect him. Regardless of his lies. Regardless of his betrayal. Colin had found a place to reside inside my heart, and therein lay the conflict. How had I done what I did for Colin, yet remained silent when James faced the same fate?
James ran his hand through the ends of my hair and down the length of my back. “Please, talk to me.”
I sucked in a steadying breath. “You need to take me home.”
There was a gnawing ache inside my chest. With every breath it grew and expanded against my bones. I rolled my shoulders and rubbed a hand across my stomach. I still expected to feel the warm slick of blood but felt only the wool of my sweater.
James frowned. “Should I be worried?”
I tried to hold his gaze, but fell short. The truth was, I didn’t know. “I’ll be fine.”
“But you’re not.” His hands gestured up and down my body.
The look in his eyes was one that saw through me and made me wish I was invisible, or else a better liar. I cringed and walked toward the street, but he was next to me in two steps, dragging me to a stop.
“You saw it, didn’t you?” His eyes were a penetrating shade of black. “Tell me,” he said when I didn’t answer. He dug a frustrated hand through his hair before facing me. “You remember what McCormack said, didn’t you? About what would happen if you saw yourself die?”
The wind whipped through the alley, chilling my skin and stinging my eyes. “Of course I remember.” I crossed my arms protectively over my chest. The air around me was colder than before, but whether that was because of a drop in temperature or the result of my drift, I didn’t know. “How could I forget? I’m a ticking time bomb. You don’t suppose I think about that every second of every day?”
“You could’ve died. You could’ve died, and I wouldn’t have been able to save you.”
“You think I can stop this? Do you think I have any control at all where my drift is concerned? Because I have news—I don’t. I can’t predict when it will come on, and once I’m there I can’t force myself out.” I jammed a finger into my chest and listened as my words sank into my own ears. Phantom tendrils of fear snaked around, up, and through me, and I shivered with them.
“I’m sorry,” James said. “I know you can’t control it. I just…” He rubbed his hands together and crossed his arms. “I want to help you, and I can’t—not while you drift. It’s driving me crazy. The last time I felt like this…” His words fell away and his eyes turned sad.
I threw up my hands and let them drop to my sides. “Maybe I’m not meant to be saved.” The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back. “Maybe this time, it’s my turn to save you.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.” James took a step toward me and bent slightly to better look me in the eye. His brow wrinkled with ferocity.
“Why?” I asked. Once I’d had the thought, once I’d spoken the words, fears that I didn’t even know I possessed pressed forward to strangle me. “I mean, what if my death is inevitable? My mother died.” I clenched my fingers together. “What if that’s just how it ends for people like me.”
“Your mother committed suicide.” James was frank and stern.
“Does the method really matter? The drift drove her to do it. What’s the difference?”
“Choice,” James breathed with fire. “Your mother chose to end her life to escape her drift. But you and me? We’re going to find a way to stop it before anything can happen to you.”
“We can’t. If I go back again, I don’t think I’ll return. And without seeing the end, without knowing where the diamond is, I can’t stop it.” My throat swelled until my airway was small and tight. “The drift isn’t going to stop. And being with you… You should go. Somewhere far away from me. Somewhere Roselli won’t find you.”
“You’re insane if you think I’m leaving you.” He stepped closer, toe-to-toe, and forced me to look up at him. That familiar buzz of heat radiated between us. His hands gripped my shoulders, and I shut my eyes, breathing him in. “There’s nothing you could say or do that will keep me away from you. I love you.”
Everything around, near, inside and out of me stilled. The very air ceased to move as his words melted over me. I wanted to lean into him, to feel his lips against my own, to taste his words, but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right.
I pulled free and stepped back.
“What’re you doing?” James asked, his hands falling from my body.
“Saving your life. Roselli is coming for us. He knows what I can do, so he won’t hurt me, but he’ll hurt you to get what he wants from me.”
“You’re wrong, Abby.” He took a step and I retreated. When my back hit the brick wall, I stepped away from him, slow and cautious.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m going to die. I’ve seen it. I won’t let you die, too. Not because of me. Not when I can protect you from it.” Roselli’s promise rang in my ears.
His chest swelled with a deep inhale. “I told you a long time ago that I’d do anything to protect the ones I love. I’ve never wavered on that. I’ve never looked at what you and I were up against and had a second thought, because when I’m with you, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
He lifted his arm, reaching for me, but as much as I wanted this—as much as I wanted us—could I risk his life?
Just before he touched my hand, I pulled away. “I’ve already seen you die once. I can’t see it again. I won’t.”
James’s hand crunched into a fist. “Are you even listening to me?” He gestured around us. “I don’t care what happened here a century ago. I care what’s going to happen. I care about what’s going to shape this life, our life, our future.” He reddened with frustration and looked away.
We stood silent, but the raging thoughts trampling through James’s head were almost loud enough to hear. I sucked in a breath to speak. Twice. But nothing came.
He turned to me, but instead of talking, he pulled his sweater up to reveal his chest.
“What’re you doing?” My eyes roved over the scars that rippled his skin, but it was the mark just above his heart that had me staring. A century-old scar that changed both of our lives forever.
“James—”
“Look at it. It’s the past. What happened to you in 1922? It happened to me, too.”
“I know it did, but—” I pointed to his birthmark and James’s eyes softened. He grabbed my hand and placed it against his chest, staring into my eyes.
“You’re afraid of an end that’s already happened, but this is a different life. A different chance. We choose how this ends.” He placed his hand behind my neck and dropped his forehead to meet mine. “I love you,” he whispered and pulled away just enough that I could see his face.
“I love you, too.”
He nodded once and took my mouth in a kiss. Like he had nearly a century ago, he pressed my back to the rough exterior brick, and I felt his body mold against mine. His cheek, rough with unshaven hair, dragged across mine and to my ear. “We need to go.” He gripped my hand in his as we made our way to the car. “We need to find that diamond.”
The rain let down just before we made it to the car, the chill making our steps fast and hurried. I slammed my door and raked my hands through my now-sopping hair.
“Evelyn said the house was on Havensent Street. Does that mean anything to you?” he asked as he pulled out of the parking spot. I stared out the window and chewed the inside of my cheek.
“I know where it is.”
“All right,” James said. “Where to?”
“Houston. I’ll direct you once we’re inside the city.”
The drive was slower than either of us would’ve liked, but with the near blinding rain, there wasn’t much we could do. Nearly an hour and a half later, we pulled onto Havensent Street, and James slowed.
“Does any of this look familiar to you? She said the house had white siding, but that was a hundred years ago. We will be lucky if it’s here at all.” He mumbled the last more to himself.
“Just keep going. It’s up there on the right. Do you see it?” I stared at the house and wondered how I couldn’t have known. It’d been in front of me this entire time, hiding in plain sight.
James parked the car. “Are you ready?” he asked.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He held my hand as we approached the door, and I knocked without hesitation. Within moments the deadbolt turned, and the door opened. The man who answered stood in a worn pair of jogging pants and had a smile ready.
“What’re you doing here?” he asked, opening the door wide to allow us inside.
I looked at James and then back at my father. “Hi, Daddy.”