Chapter Twenty-Five

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Leah

 

 

 

I fell back into the routine of school easily, going to class and studying and existing in a steady wardrobe of leggings and comfortable t-shirts. Living alone in my apartment took some getting used to, but it was made easier by the fact that so many other students lived in the building. A girl named Kara that I had vaguely known in the years past lived across the hall from me, and she had a platonic male roommate named Kasen. Kara and I started hanging out a bit, and I got the sense she was trying to set me up with Kasen, but that wasn’t going to happen. When she slyly questioned me about my relationship status, I just shrugged and hedged around the answer.

“I’m not really seeing anyone,” I told her. “I’m just concentrating on my classes this year.”

Really, my heart felt trampled and completely unwilling to open itself up again. And I knew, from the way no other guy looked appealing to me, that I still wasn’t over Dom. None of the other guys I met measured up to him. I mean, yeah, he’d hurt me, but he’d also made me feel things no one else ever had. Things I didn’t think I could feel again without him.

I was an idiot. And I knew this was temporary. Logically, I knew I’d get over it, even if it seemed impossible that I ever would. For now, though, it really fucking sucked. And on top of everything else, I hated the way he hadn’t called or texted, and the way I kept hoping he would. I knew he’d gone to his mom’s for the week, but it was Tuesday and he should have been back for work by now. I didn’t even know why I was hoping he’d call, but things just felt so unfinished between us. Maybe he didn’t see it that way, though. Maybe he was finished.

I did get a phone call from someone I wasn’t expecting: Davis. It was weird at first, but then talking on the phone always was. Why couldn’t people just text? It was so much less awkward that way. But I soon found out, hearing a somber tone in his voice I wasn’t used to at all, that he wanted to apologize, and apparently he didn’t want to do it by text.

“I was a complete asshole at the festival, and I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

My first instinct was to tell him it was okay, but I was trying to be more honest and assertive with my feelings. “No. I didn’t. Neither did Audrey. I mean, I know she can be kind of hard to take sometimes, but she didn’t deserve to be talked to like that. She was trying to do something nice.”

“No, you’re right. I know. I know this is no excuse, and I’m not trying to use it as one, but I haven’t been happy in that job for a long time. Don’t repeat this or anything, but I’m actually on meds to handle the stress and anxiety.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised and a little embarrassed that he would share this information with me. “Of course I won’t repeat it. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s good that you got help.”

“Yeah. I know, I’m not ashamed exactly. But I do attribute a lot of the stress to working at Canton. Anyway, all I’m saying is, I might not have been the best choice to go on a three day long job at that point in my life. Obviously I let everything get to me, and I just snapped. And I really am sorry. I’m sorry for how I talked to you, and how I talked to your friend. Most of all I’m sorry for sharing things with you that I had no business sticking my nose into. I feel like shit about it.”

“Don’t be sorry about that. I’m glad you told me. It actually worked out for the best in the end. I appreciate my dad so much more than I ever did, and that’s because of you. And I really think that was your intention in telling me in the first place. You weren’t trying to hurt me or be a dick.”

“No, being a dick just comes naturally.” His voice returned to something more familiar with these words, a light-hearted teasing that I was used to, and I smiled in response. “I am glad it worked out, though. Hopefully you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Have you talked to Dom?”

I took a quick inhale, and my heart jumped in my chest. “No,” was all I said.

And he must have heard something in my voice because he didn’t push it further. “Well, let me know if you need anything. I’m always around.”

“What are you going to do now that you don’t work for my dad?”

“I might actually be working something out where that’s concerned. An old buddy of mine is working for a small private security firm, and they’re opening a new office that he’s going to be in charge of. I’m pretty sure he’s going to hire me on. I think it’d be a better fit for me than working at a big corporation, and I wouldn’t have anyone reporting to me.”

“That’s awesome,” I said, and I meant it. “I really hope that works out for you.”

“Thanks, Leah. Take care.”

In the end I was really glad he called. I felt good about it, like we’d both had a little bit of closure. I put my phone on silent and headed to my next class and for once I stopped checking it every five minutes. Of course, that was when it all happened. Walking back home after my last class of the day, I stopped for a smoothie and idly checked my phone. There were two missed calls and then a succinct text from my dad (Call me ASAP).

And there was a missed call from Dom. I stood there dumbly for a moment, staring at his name on my screen like I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. But it didn’t go away. And there was no voice mail or text. Just that one missed call. I checked the time and it was from over an hour ago. Shit. I was still deciding what to do when the device started vibrating in my hand, and Dominic’s name was still at the top of the screen. He was calling me again. Without hesitation, I swiped to answer.

“Hi,” I said, sounding breathless and a little wary.

“Hey.” How could just the sound of his voice and one short word fill me with such a rush? I gripped the phone like I was worried it would somehow get away, and my breathing felt short and choppy. “Where are you?” he asked.

“Down the street from my apartment. Why?”

“I mean the address. I want to talk to you. Actually, I’ve been wanting to for awhile, but I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”

“You mean you’re going to drive all the way here?”

“I mean I already did,” he said, his voice thickening with wry amusement. “But I don’t know where you live exactly. I’m near the college campus.”

Stunned, all I could ask was, “You’re here?”

“Is that okay? Like I said, I didn’t want to talk over the phone. But I’ll turn around and go back if you don’t want to see me.”

I couldn’t believe he was in town. That he was so close to me, after the last week and a half of silence and distance. “No,” I said faintly. “Walk down Main Street past where the Starbucks and everything is, and take a right on Walnut. There’ll be some old brick apartment buildings on your right. I’ll meet you outside.”

On my front steps, I nervously sipped my smoothie until there was nothing left. And not even five minutes later he was there, looking gorgeous and out of place amongst a neighborhood of sloppy college kids. He wore a black t-shirt that showed off his thick muscles, and a pair of dark wash jeans that molded nicely around his legs. He had dark sunglasses on, but he removed them as soon as he came up to me so I could see his eyes.

My heart pounded. It all felt like overload, like I was going to burst open and spill everywhere. I wanted to hug him because I’d missed him. I wanted to hit him because he’d hurt me. I wanted to tell him everything that had happened since I’d last seen him, every little detail. I didn’t even know where to start.

“Hi.” Okay, I guess I would start there.

A smile almost formed at the corner of his mouth, for a split second. “Hey. Have you talked to your dad?”

“When? Not today. He called but I haven’t called him back yet.”

“I got fired,” he told me with no more preamble, and my eyes popped open wide. “Or, technically, I might have quit. I’m still not sure. HR is supposed to call me tomorrow.”

“Why?” I practically yelled this at him, and got a strange look from a girl who was walking past me on her way up the steps to the entrance. That’s when I remembered we were still outside, and this was obviously a conversation that needed privacy. “Wait. Let’s go inside.”

He followed me up to my fourth floor apartment, which was still kind of bare and unadorned, but at least it now had furniture. Setting my bag down and closing the door behind us, I gestured for him to sit.

“Tell me everything,” I said.

“Well, for starters, I turned down the promotion.”

My mouth dropped open. “Dom. Why would you do that?”

“You know I didn’t feel right about it.”

I didn’t know whether to be angry that he’d given up such an opportunity, or impressed that he was such an honest person. I think I was a little of both.

“And I talked to your dad.”

For a second I could only blink in surprise. Then, “What?! Why? What about?”

“About us.” His eyes didn’t move from mine, and his expression remained somber. I felt a fluttering in my chest, and I had to steel myself against it.

“There’s no…us.”

“About the previous us, then. I didn’t give him details, but I let him know things had developed between us and that’s why I wasn’t taking the promotion.”

“And then he fired you?”

“Let’s just say I had to be escorted out of the building.”

I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, my God. I’ll talk to him. That’s probably why he called today. I’ll fix this, Dom.”

“No,” he said, and my face came up again. “That’s not why I came. And I can’t go back there. I don’t think I even want to. Ever since I got that job I’ve thrown everything I had into it, until it became the most important thing. Honestly, it changed me, and I can’t say I really like the person I was becoming.”

Without even thinking, I said, “I liked you.”

His lips lifted slightly. “I was different around you. More like myself. And, for the record, I liked you too.”

“Not enough, though.” I said this with a shrug, like it was no big deal, but I couldn’t hide the sadness in my voice.

His jaw clenched, and he reached out like he was going to touch me somehow, but then his hand retracted. “Yes, enough. More than enough. That’s why I’m here. You caught me so off guard when you were at my place, and I know I acted like an asshole. All I can say is I’m sorry. To be honest, it freaked me the fuck out. Not just what you said, but the fact that I have the same feelings for you, and I had no idea what to do with that. What you said was true. It wasn’t about the job, or your father. Not really. It was about me being a cynical asshole and not having faith in your feelings, and not having faith in myself to be worthy of them.”

“Dom…” I didn’t even know what to say. My heart was so full it felt like it would burst, and there was a lump in my throat that made it hard to speak. “You’re worth it. You’re worth everything. You’re capable of so much and you don’t even know.”

“I’m getting there,” he said. “And I want you to know I do have faith in you. I was stupid not to. You’re the most real, down to earth person I’ve ever known. There’s absolutely no bullshit with you and I love that. I want to be like that. So, here it is. I want you in my life. I know I fucked it up and I’ll understand completely if you can’t look past that. I know this is the worst possible timing. You’re still in school, and I’m unemployed. Plus, your dad pretty much hates my guts, so there’s that. But if you want to take the chance with me, I want to take the chance with you.”

“So you’re saying you want to be together? In a relationship?”

Without hesitation, he said, “Yes. That’s what I’m saying. I want to be with you. I want you to be my girl, my partner in life and crazy adventures, my everything…”

I didn’t even have to think about it. My heart might as well have been holding a big flashing sign that said YES. I wanted to take the chance. I wanted him. Catching him with both hands, stopping his words, I leaned forward and caught his mouth, loving the way he immediately responded with no hesitation or apparent surprise. After just a taste of what I wanted to explore fully, I pulled back and said, “I am your girl. I think I have been since that morning I woke up handcuffed to you.”

He huffed a laugh, even though his eyes were still dark from the heat of our brief kiss. “It was the handcuffs, huh? I knew it.”

Climbing into his lap, I wrapped both arms around him and pressed my body into his. “Nope. Just you. If anyone else had tried that stunt, it wouldn’t have ended well. But somehow, even then, I felt safe with you.”

His arms had locked around me tight, too, bunched with muscles that I wanted to lick. “I always want to make you feel like that. Safe with me.”

His words held more meaning than one, and I wanted to give that back to him. “You’re safe with me, too, Dom. I know things are a little uncertain right now, but we’ll figure it out together. I’m in. Fully. One hundred percent. Are you?”

With a groan, he pulled me into him and kissed me. “Yes,” he said against my mouth. “Fully. One hundred percent. You’re mine.”

And as he kissed me and held me like his life depended on never letting me go, my heart felt full and ready to take on the world. I was strong on my own, but with him I was stronger. With him, I was finally free.