Olivia
When Olivia’s mother died, they hadn’t been able to afford to bury her. Olivia remembered being so bitter about the astronomical cost of a cemetery plot, a casket, and services. She’d since chosen to believe that fate had also played a part in that too. Since they’d had no choice but to have their mother cremated and kept the ashes in an urn, they’d been able to take her ashes with them when they moved to California. Olivia had taken solace in that and had actually decided to be happy about it instead of bitter that they hadn’t been able to give her mom a proper burial. Visiting her mom’s grave would’ve been the only reason she’d have to come back. So with her mother’s remains coming with them once she left Dallas, Olivia had vowed she’d never step foot there again. Even before she’d found out anything about Margie and Jay and she missed her friend, Margie had been the one who had made the trip out to San Diego a few times in the last two years. Margie understood why Olivia never wanted to come back.
Now here she was, and, ironically, Margie was the reason why. The day wasn’t even over, and already Olivia had unexpectedly had to do so many other things she’d sworn she never would again: allowing Jay in her life for even a minute more and lying to her brothers about it. Driving by the alleyway where her mother’s body had been found was another one. But even that wasn’t as bad as the one thing she didn’t want to regret but she did: risk losing Lorenzo, who she now knew, without a doubt, was the love of her life. She knew he’d absolutely understand why she had no choice but to fly out to try and save her friend’s life. It was some of the other things she’d been forced to do that she wasn’t so sure he’d understand. But she had faith that she could get him to understand. She had to. Olivia couldn’t even imagine her life without him now, and if he truly loved her as he said he did, he wouldn’t want that either.
Margie was sleeping soundly and would likely be out for a while. Her parents had excused themselves to her father’s office no doubt to discuss Margie. So it was as good a time as any to call Lorenzo and start explaining.
Staring at Margie’s phone, she took one final deep breath before hitting send. It was only ten after four in Dallas, but it was an hour later in North Carolina. Emi had told her about him asking who she’d been with today. Olivia had been staring at the phone for the last ten minutes, knowing he’d be anxious to hear from her and was off now.
She’d been right about him being anxious. It hadn’t even rung one full time when he answered.
“Hey,” she said, already smiling.
“Hey. Hold on. I’m gonna pull over.”
Her heart was already all aflutter from just the sound of his voice.
“You don’t have to,” she said, gripping the phone. “You can call me back when you’re not driving anymore.”
She hadn’t even thought of that. If he just got off training, of course he’d still be driving.
“No, that’s fine. I’d rather not wait. I’ve been waiting all day. Just give me a sec.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
Trying not to put too much thought into his already borderline irritated-sounding comment, she waited quietly. A few minutes later, her heartbeat was nice and accelerated, and he was back on the line. “Alright,” he said. “I didn’t think to try and pair my phone up to this rental, and it’s starting to snow, so I don’t want to take any chances driving while on the phone. But I’m off the road now.”
“Oh,” she said, gulping. “How’s the training going?”
“What?” he asked, and his tone was no longer borderline irritated it was definitely irritated, but he seemed to catch himself. “I mean . . . fine. It’s fine. So what happened? Margie called you this morning?”
“Yes,” she hesitated, especially after she saw Jay pull up in front of Margie’s house on his motorcycle. “It’s such a long story, Lorenzo.”
“I’ve got nothing but time now,” he said quickly. “I’m done with training for today, and nothing else to do out here. So let’s talk.”
She watched as Jay stepped off his bike, pulled something out from inside of his jacket, and headed toward her. “But you said it’s starting to snow. I’d feel better if you were already in your hotel room, safe and warm. I can tell you the whole thing then.”
“I’m less than a block from there, Liv. Don’t worry about that. It’s a light snow. Tell me. What happened?”
Olivia brought her finger to her lips when Jay was close enough then squeezed her eyes shut for a second and began. “I had another missed called from that number I told you about yesterday, the one I thought might be Margie trying to get a hold of me.”
“So it was her?”
“No,” she said, closing her eyes again. “It was Jay calling from his hotel room.”
Silence.
Suddenly feeling panicked, her eyes flew open and she continued quickly. “There was more about Margie he hadn’t told me,” she continued quickly then turned to the door when she heard the latch jiggle.
“Oh, you’re out here,” Mrs. Miller, Margie’s mom said. “I was wondering why the door was open.”
“Hold on please,” she said into the receiver, noting how again Lorenzo said nothing, then turned back to Mrs. Miller and motioned to the phone. “Yes. I came out here to make a phone call.”
Mrs. Miller nodded then turned to Jay with that same disapproving expression she’d watched him with all day. “Did you forget something, Jay?”
“Nope,” he said, putting on the fake indifferent act he’d been putting up even way back when he pretended not to care about Olivia’s family’s disapproval of him. “Just stopped by to see how Margie’s doing and to drop something off for Ollie.”
“I see,” Mrs. Miller said, pursing her lips. “Well, we won’t know anything until tomorrow when she gets in to see her physician, and right now she’s sleeping. Aside from Ollie, I don’t want anyone else entering her room and disturbing her.”
“Fair enough,” Jay said. “I’ll just wait out here then until Ollie’s off the phone so I can talk to her.”
Lorenzo chose that moment to break his silence. “Jay’s back in Dallas too, Ollie?”
“Yes,” she whispered, wondering if this day could get any more nightmarish.
“Did you go there with him?”
“Yes,” she said, willing Margie’s mom to just go back inside so she could speak freely.
Mrs. Miller had stood at the door for a few more seconds before making a show of opening the wooden door all the way. Then she turned to Olivia, her brow slightly arched.
“I’ll be right in here if you need me.”
Clearly Mrs. Miller didn’t like or trust Jay, and she was making a point of leaving the door wide open so she could keep an eye on him. She’d likely stay within hearing range too. There was no way she could tell Lorenzo everything now.
“Have you been with him all day, Liv?” That cold tone Olivia hated to hear was as ominous as ever. “Is he the reason why you left so suddenly? Because he told you, you should?”
“No, I came because Margie needed me.” Olivia looked up and addressed Jay. “I’m gonna be on the phone for a while.”
“Take your time,” he said, strutting back toward his bike.
Olivia didn’t have time to argue with Jay. She needed to talk Lorenzo down. She hated how in such a short time of knowing him already they’d had enough intense moments she could sense this getting ugly fast if she didn’t explain quickly.
Walking away to the furthest end of the porch and away from the front door, she lowered her voice significantly and brought her hand over her mouth and the receiver.
“There’s a lot I can’t tell you right now.” She lowered her voice even more. “Margie’s parents don’t know everything. She doesn’t want them to.”
“Then tell me about you and Jay. Why’s he still there? I’m assuming he had plenty of time to explain himself to you today and on the plane ride there. Did he get to tell you all the bullshit he said he wanted to last night? Has he convinced you to let him back in his life?”
“First of all,” she started, surprised by the conviction in her own voice. Lorenzo had spit out every single one of his words. He sounded ready to explode, but she managed to remain calm. “I got my ticket last minute. Our seats weren’t even together,” she explained, thankful for that part. “Second, I told you I’m only here for Margie. She wants me to be there when she goes to her doctor tomorrow. But after that, I leave. So I’ll be home before you even get back. You already know I want nothing to do with him ever again.”
“Yet he convinced you to drop everything and leave with him. You were with him all day, Olivia, and now he’s there again, waiting for you get off the phone. What the fuck does he want?”
“I don’t know,” she said, knowing that was a half-truth. “But listen to me, baby—”
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped suddenly, sounding even colder than she’d ever heard him. “Margie’s asleep and it’s still early. So what are you gonna do when you get off the phone with me? Go hang out with him?”
Just then Jay started up his motorcycle loudly. She pressed the phone against her ear and cupped her hand over her other one. Jay revved the engine even louder then rode away, and Olivia waited until the obnoxiously loud sound of his engine was far enough.
“He just left,” she told Lorenzo. “But even if he hadn’t—”
“He rides a motorcycle?” Lorenzo asked incredibly, sounding even angrier.
He did. An expensive Harley he paid for with his dirty money. But she’d just leave that part out.
“Yes.”
“Did you ride with him today?”
Her eyes opened wide, and suddenly she knew why he sounded so much angrier, and her stomach plummeted.
“Did you, Liv?” he asked even louder but didn’t bother giving her a moment to respond this time when he continued. “Did you ride around with your arms and legs wrapped around your ex-boyfriend all day?”
The louder but still cold tone he was speaking in now was so unlike him, even in all the times she’d heard him angry or tense, and it choked her up. It sounded too damn much like the times Jay had been a total asshole to her in the past.
“Not all day,” she whispered.
She heard him scoff. “That asshole may’ve left, Olivia, but I can guarantee you he’ll be back. You know what? Go do some more riding around with Jay. In fact, don’t worry about hurrying home on my account. You can just stay in Texas with your fucking little boyfriend as long as you want because you don’t have one in California anymore.”
As worked up as she’d heard him getting, it was still such an unexpected blow. Olivia hadn’t even had a chance to recover enough to respond before he hung up. She stood there for a moment completely stunned as she felt the warm tears fill her eyes and the intense pain in both her throat and her heart. Finally, she let out a gasp and fumbled with the phone, calling him back, but it went straight to voicemail. Her shattering heart held out hope maybe that was because he was calling her back at the same time.
“Call back,” her trembling lips whispered as she stared at the lifeless phone.
When it didn’t ring, she tried again, but again it went to this voicemail. Feeling the tears stream down her face, she brushed them away with her fingers, but it was hopeless. They were endless now.
“This didn’t just happen.” She sniffed as her trembling fingers pathetically redialed his number again.
Refusing to accept the painful reality that, yes, this really just happened, Lorenzo had just broken up with her, her mind raced. Who else could she call? No one. Even if she did get a hold of Rosie so she could beg her to plead with Lorenzo to answer his phone—to hear her out—Rosie wouldn’t be able to get to him either, not if his phone was turned off.
Even her initial knee jerk reaction of thinking she could just apologize to Margie because she had to jump on a plane ASAP was squashed when she realized it’d do her no good to race back home. Lorenzo wouldn’t be answering her calls regardless of where she was calling from, and he’d still be gone for days.
The pain of that truth was excruciating. As much as she didn’t want to compare this to all the times Jay had made her feel like such an insignificant part of his life, it was hard not to. With the way she felt about Lorenzo, she knew in her heart of hearts, even if she found out he’d had dinner with an ex or spent an entire day with one, she’d be more than willing to hear him out. She could never just dump him as he so easily did to her.
How could he?
Even in the heat of the moment, she knew she’d never have it in her to say those words to him: that she’d so quickly and effortlessly made the decision that she was done with him. Suddenly she was overwhelmed, feeling unworthy of Lorenzo. She was ashamed because she knew now that despite how easy it was for Lorenzo to just discard her she was still willing to beg his forgiveness if she had to.
Olivia had never once begged Jay, but she had taken him back so many times after he’d done her wrong. That wasn’t any better than begging. Where the hell was her dignity? She kept saying she wasn’t that girl anymore, and yet here she was desperately hitting redial and praying the call wouldn’t go straight to voicemail, hoping that maybe it had been just a heat of the moment reaction and he’d answer and tell her he couldn’t live without her. But he never did.
She didn’t even realize she was crying so hard or that she’d sat down on the porch bench until Jay sat down next to her. The sound of her anguish had been so deafening it’d drowned everything else out, including Jay’s motorcycle. As loud as it was, she hadn’t heard him return.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
Flinching noticeably, she moved away from him. “I am not your baby,” she said through her teeth.
“Okay,” he said in a calming voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“I can’t be talking to you about this, Jay.” She huffed then sniffed, using her sleeves to wipe her nose and the tears that continued to pour from her eyes as she struggled to regain some composure.
“This is about your boyfriend, isn’t it?” he asked, but she wouldn’t even look at him. “He’s pissed you’re here? With me?”
Seeing that she was obviously not going to talk to him about it, Jay motioned to the plastic bag in his hand. He pulled a small box out and began to open it.
“I got you a temp phone so you won’t have to travel phoneless.”
He pulled out the small phone. There was nothing fancy about it. “It’s not a touch screen or anything,” he said with a small smile as he handed it to her. “But I figured it’s good enough for the next couple days until you get home and can reactivate yours. You have a hundred bucks of talk time on it and unlimited texting. That should get you home. But I take it you’re probably not going to be doing too much talking on it now.”
She glanced up at him and saw the smirk he didn’t bother to hide. “This is funny to you?” she asked as the anger bubbled inside her. “You must be loving this, aren’t you!”
“I’m not,’ he said defensively.
“I bet you just love knowing that, once again, you’ve not only managed to weasel your way back into my life but you got exactly what you wanted: to break us up.”
“Hey! If he’s gonna be an idiot about it—”
“Shut up!” she said, standing up and suddenly furious. “You know nothing about him. If you did, you’d be begging to be half the man he is.”
“Ha!” Jay scoffed, standing up too, the dark ominous glare in his eyes so different from Lorenzo’s—scarier. “That asshole—”
“Shut up!” she said, pushing her fists against his chest. “You’re the asshole! You’re the one who treated me like shit all those years. You!” She pushed him again. “You’re the sick bastard who—”
The front door being pushed open suddenly and loudly made them both turn to see Mrs. Miller staring at them sternly. “Jay, I think you need to leave,” she said.
Jay turned back to Olivia, staring at her for a moment as if he expected her to come to his defense. She lifted her chin, taking a deep breath.
“Take your phone with you,” Olivia said, swiping the tears away from her eyes, angry with herself that she’d lost it.
“No, you keep the phone,” he said, starting toward the stairs without it, then stopped. “Ollie, please, I just need to talk to you one last time.”
Olivia shook her head adamantly. “No,” she whispered.
“This could be the last time I ever talk to you.” His eyes pleaded. “Please give me just five minutes. There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for over a year.”
With the dull ache still strangling her heart, she glanced at Mrs. Miller, whose brow rose in disapproval, then turned back to Jay.
“Please?” he said again.