Jaxon

Why the hell Jaxon agreed to go back to the hospital he had no idea. Well okay, he had some idea, but he didn’t like it. Conner may have thought spending time with Lucy would help, but she got past Jaxon’s defenses way too easily as it was. Spending more time with her didn’t seem like such a good idea now that he’d slept on it.

Jaxon was surprised he’d slept like the dead when he’d finally gotten home from the hospital. Usually he didn’t sleep well, tossing and turning as he relived his mother’s accident. The nightmares seemed worse than normal lately. He’d read somewhere that PTSD sufferers often reported their episodes escalading around the anniversary of the trigger event. That seemed to be the case with Jaxon and that’s why he was so surprised he’d actually slept after what he’d just gone through with Lucy.

Jaxon had been diagnosed with PTSD about six months ago. His brother had noticed the signs right after their mother’s accident, but it wasn’t until they moved in with Uncle Steven that Jaxon agreed to get help. He could no longer deny that he couldn’t handle things on his own.

His uncle set Jaxon up with a therapist, where he learned skills to help him deal with the flashbacks from the accident. Jaxon was also forced to talk about the trauma repeatedly with his therapist until the memories no longer triggered Jaxon’s feelings of anxiety. At first, Jaxon had hated going to the therapist. He didn’t want to be labeled as a head case. It made him feel weak. But after a while, he realized that PTSD was pretty common after undergoing a traumatic event. And once he accepted that and really threw himself into his therapy sessions, things started to get better.

One of the best things to come out of it was that Jaxon could drive a car again without having a panic attack. It gave him a bit of freedom back and each little piece of himself he regained brought him closer to healing. The emotional toll was still what Jaxon struggled with the most. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve to heal and move on with his life. It felt somehow unfair. Why did he survive the accident when his mother didn’t? Who decided his life was more valuable than hers?

Thoughts like that weighed him down with guilt. He felt like he should be doing more with his life. He hated that sometimes he couldn’t focus or didn’t feel motivated. He also hated that he’d quit basketball. But most of the time he just felt numb and that was perhaps the worst feeling of all.

But as Jaxon pulled into the parking lot of the hospital Sunday morning, he felt a prickle of hope at the prospect of seeing Lucy again. He wasn’t sure whether it was just because he’d forged a bond with her during their ordeal or if it was something more. Either way, Jaxon felt he owed it to himself to find out. Because at this point, any sort of feeling was better than the numbness and guilt that threatened to drown him on a daily basis.

As Jaxon walked toward the hospital he found himself wondering if Brooke would be there. He was glad Lucy had such a fiercely protective friend in her life. He was already starting to feel a bit protective over Lucy himself. He’d first realized it when he’d gotten into the cab to go home last night. A strange feeling of unease settled over him as he watched the hospital fade away in the cab’s rearview mirror—he didn’t want to leave her.

Jaxon tried telling himself it was probably normal. Anyone who saved her life would feel that way. Especially since she didn’t have parents around to look out for her. But then he’d reminded himself that Lucy had Brooke. The girl was like a guard dog—a Rainbow Brite version, but still. She’d grilled Jaxon like she worked for 60 Minutes the other day. And she certainly spoke her mind. She’d called Conner Sergeant Sexy! The thought made Jaxon smirk as he passed through the hospital’s automatic doors.

Conner had collected a lot of nicknames over the years, but Sergeant Sexy was a new one. Points for originality. Jaxon toyed with whether or not to share the nickname with his brother. Conner would certainly take it as a compliment no matter how Brooke had meant it. And Conner did not need his head getting any bigger. Jaxon decided maybe he’d keep it to himself for a bit. Besides, he hadn’t seen Conner since the hospital yesterday and when he did see him, Jaxon wanted to focus on the details of the case, not compliments that added to the revolving door that was his older brother’s love life.

Lucy

Today was not a good day. Lucy hardly got any sleep thanks to the nursing staff that came in during all hours of the night to check her blood pressure and temperature. The only good thing about waking up every two hours was that it allowed her to keep her pain to a minimum by pressing her pain pump. However, the lack of sleep left Lucy crankier than ever. Plus, Lucy had gotten her first glimpse of herself today and it wasn’t pretty.

She’d been helped out of bed, fitted for crutches and shown how to use them. Afterward she had to demonstrate that she wasn’t totally helpless by crutching around her hospital room, which was extremely humiliating since she was still in her see-through gown and her nurse was a man. Lucy was certain her face would’ve been bright red if it weren’t for the deep purpled bruises covering her cheeks. At least bruises are good for something!

During Lucy’s second crutch excursion, which was with a female nurse this time—thank heavens—Lucy made it to the bathroom, where she gingerly washed her face while balancing on one foot. She patted her face dry and pulled her hair into a ponytail since it was a complete knotted mess. Big mistake!

Without her mop of tangled auburn hair framing her face, the damage was more evident. Lucy’s left cheekbone was swollen with small cuts slashing through the middle. Small white butterfly bandages held them closed, practically glowing against the deep purple bruising that extended from her temple to jaw. There was another butterfly bandage above her left eyebrow with more bruising peeking out beneath it. Good Lord, she was a mess.

Lucy turned her head from left to right and back again. The right side of her face was unmarked. Maybe if she only looked at that side she could pretend this whole thing never happened. Lucy sighed looking down at her broken leg. Fat chance. Already having seen the worst of her injuries, Lucy took a deep breath and pulled off her gown to examine the rest of her damages.

Despite her ribs being sore, the rest of her didn’t look too bad. A few scrapes on her arms and some tender bruises from the seatbelt and airbags, but all in all she knew she was extremely lucky to be alive. If Jaxon hadn’t shown up . . . Lucy didn’t even want to finish the thought. Yesterday she’d still been in shock and mildly depressed, but today she felt extremely grateful that Jaxon had been there.

Lucy swapped out her worn gown for a fresh one and hobbled back out to her bed. The nurse was waiting to help her back in it. Once she was settled, poked and prodded the nurse left and Lucy flipped on the television. She wished she had her cell phone, but it was in her purse, which was left in her Jeep, meaning it most likely resembled an extra crispy marshmallow right now.

She sighed and glanced at the clock, wondering what time Jaxon would show up—if he came at all.

Jaxon

Jaxon knocked on the open door to Lucy’s hospital room, but he could see she was sleeping. Her eyes were closed and the television was on. He hesitated in the doorway for a minute, but then decided to go in. He set the two cups of coffee he’d picked up at the café on the tray next to Lucy’s bed and settled into a chair. He glanced up at the television, noting it was on the Animal Planet channel. A group of penguins were zipping through the water looking like they didn’t have a care in the world.

Briefly, Jaxon found himself wondering if that’s what Lucy felt like when she was swimming. Maybe she was onto something. The penguins did look awfully happy and free gliding through the water. Jaxon lost himself in the show until a nurse came in. She smiled at him and he stood up.

“You’re fine, sweetie,” the nurse said. “I’m just going to check your girlfriend’s vitals real quick, you don’t have to leave.”

“Oh, she’s not my girlfriend,” Jaxon said quickly.

“Alex?” Lucy murmured sleepily.

Jaxon watched as her eyes fluttered open. Recognition sparked and a huge smile slid across Lucy’s bruised face. Goddamn, she was beautiful when she smiled like that.

“Jaxon! You came.”

He couldn’t help but smile back. “I said I would.” It seemed like the poor girl was used to being let down. He could see why. Her parents weren’t around and her boyfriend was a complete tool. “I brought coffee too.”

The nurse frowned at Jaxon while she was wrapping a blood pressure cuff around Lucy’s slender arm. “I hope that’s decaf.”

“Yep,” Jaxon replied throwing the nurse the grin he’d seen Conner use to get away with murder. The nurse smiled back and finished taking Lucy’s stats. When she was gone, Jaxon handed Lucy the coffee. “It’s not decaf,” he whispered.

Lucy grinned and took a sip. “Oh my God, you brought real coffee this time! You really are my hero.”

Jaxon shook his head. “This is real coffee,” he said holding up his cup of black unaltered brew. “That fru-fru shit you drink is basically liquid candy.”

“Whatever, it’s delicious and you’re still my hero.”

Jaxon decided it was no use arguing and he found he was glad it was just the two of them in the room for a change. Too glad. Being around Lucy made Jaxon’s heart beat funny. He teetered between giddiness and fear every time she smiled at him. He needed to stick to business. The car accident was the only reason he was here.

“So, think of any new details from the accident?” he asked.

Lucy frowned. “No. They don’t give me much time to myself around here and I didn’t really get much sleep.”

“That’s probably a good thing.”

“Really? Why?”

Shit! He did it again. Jaxon was about to divulge that sleep was the one thing he avoided like the plague after his accident, but Lucy didn’t know about that yet. He needed to cover up his mistake. “I don’t know. I guess I figured you’d just end up reliving the accident if you fell asleep.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But maybe that’d be a good thing.”

“How?”

“Maybe I’d remember some detail stuck in my subconscious or something.”

“Sounds like you watch a lot of Criminal Minds,” he teased.

Lucy laughed. “Well, Brooke does. I guess I’ve absorbed a thing or two.”

“What’s her deal?”

“Brooke?”

“Yeah.”

“She doesn’t have a deal. Besides, I thought you said you liked her?”

“I do. But she was coming at me yesterday.”

Lucy laughed. “She’s just protective and she doesn’t have a filter. Plus, she thought you were trying to fool her into thinking you were a doctor. Brooke really hates frauds.”

“I’m not a fraud!”

“You were wearing scrubs.”

“Because I ruined my clothes saving you.”

Lucy laughed and the sound filled the room making Jaxon’s heart pick up speed again. Not good.

“We’re getting off topic,” Jaxon said. “We’re supposed to be talking about the accident.

“We are. We’re talking about how it messed up all your clothes. And by the way, you’re not the only one who ended up with ruined clothes. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you trying to get me out of my pants.”

Jaxon choked on the sip of coffee he’d been drinking. He sputtered and coughed trying to clear his windpipe. “I wasn’t trying to get you outta your pants,” he said when he could finally breathe.

“I should hope not,” a male voice interrupted.

Jaxon and Lucy both turned to see Alex standing in the doorway.