Jaxon

Jaxon cranked his music louder.

He didn’t want to think.

He didn’t want to feel.

He just wanted to scream and break things.

The only thing Jaxon could concentrate on from the moment he’d gotten home was getting out of his head. He was so angry he was physically shaking, and no matter how many things he overturned in his bedroom, it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t stop picturing Lucy’s face—kissing her, holding her—and then Alex, pulling her away.

Jaxon overturned another bookshelf and then started on his bed. He tore the covers off and hurled the king size mattress off its frame. He kicked it over and over imagining it was Alex’s face.

No! Not Alex. It was nothing. Jaxon wanted to think about nothing. Everything else hurt too much. He couldn’t let himself think. Because when he did he saw his mother and Lucy and all of the things he wanted but couldn’t have. It was too much.

Jaxon threw himself into his rampage to stop the hurt that was raging through him. He was so busy smashing up his room that he didn’t hear the car pull into his driveway. He didn’t hear the doorbell ring, or the dogs barking, or the soft knocking at his bedroom door. All he heard was the pounding of his own pulse hammering against his eardrums. And nothing or no one could stop it. The only girl who could have, chose someone else. Jaxon was alone. And it was time he got used to it.

Physically drained, Jaxon collapsed onto his sagging mattress. He let his elbows rest on his knees, his hands cradling his pounding head. He stared at the floor for a minute before he closed his eyes and tried to shut it all out. It was useless, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Then, he felt fingers sliding through his hair, timid and gentle. His eyes snapped open and he stared at the floor, afraid to move. That’s when he saw a pair of feet standing between his—one sloppily tied white converse sneaker and one black walking boot.

Jaxon’s eyes slid slowly up Lucy’s legs, traveling the length of her body until he met her face. For one quick moment he wondered if he’d actually lost his mind; that he was imagining her being in his bedroom. But then she spoke and every nerve in his body woke to the sound of her voice. Christ, she owned him.

“Jaxon?” She whispered his name again. “Jaxon, what happened?”

He stood up, suddenly embarrassed at the state she was seeing him in. But then another thought dawned on him and he grabbed her hands, thinking there was no way it could be true. “Lucy, how did you get here?”

“I drove.”

She said it so simply that the hair on the back of his neck stood up. “You drove?”

“Yes! I had to because you left me!”

“Lucy. You drove! That’s huge!”

“Oh my God, I don’t care. That’s not what I came here to talk about, Jaxon.” There was fire in her voice. “Why did you leave tonight when I asked you to wait?”

She was mad! And goddamn if he didn’t love her even more in that moment. She’d been so pissed to find him gone that she’d forgotten to be scared and drove herself to his house! If he wasn’t so freaking terrified about the outcome of her conversation with Alex he would’ve picked her up by now and spun her around in celebration of her major accomplishment.

Instead, Jaxon looked at the floor and the crushing reality he’d been dealing with before she arrived rushed back in.

“Jaxon, answer me,” Lucy demanded. “Why did you leave? I asked you for five minutes. And you couldn’t give that to me . . . after everything? After that kiss?”

“No, I can’t, okay?” Jaxon yelled. “I can’t do it!”

“Why not?” Lucy yelled back with just as much volume.

The last shred of composure Jaxon had been clinging to shattered and he unleashed all the things he wanted to say. “Because!” he roared. “He’s always gonna be asking for another five minutes. And I can’t stand by and watch it. You can’t ask me to, because it kills me, Lucy. Do you understand that? It kills me to see you with him because I want you to be with me!”

“Jaxon . . .” She reached for him but he pulled away.

“No,” he snapped. “You deserve better than Alex. Whether it’s with me or someone else, there’s a better life out there for you. But you gotta take it and it’s gotta be now or he’s just gonna keep dragging you down and I won’t be a part of that.”

“Jaxon, look at me,” Lucy begged. Her voice had gone soft again and she reached for him, but he couldn’t face her—not like this.

He turned away from her because he could feel himself breaking apart and he didn’t want Lucy to see him like that. He’d already lost enough. His dignity was all he had left.

Lucy

Stubborn, obstinate fool! Lucy muttered a string of even less pleasant words in her head as she tried to get Jaxon to just listen to her. But he wouldn’t even look at her. And good Lord did that piss her off.

The boy made her want to scream. He was more than a foot taller than her and she needed to be looking him in the eyes when she told him how she felt. Because this time, she wanted to be absolutely certain he understood.

Lucy glared at Jaxon’s back, stewing over how uncooperative he was being. He was acting like a toddler and his room looked like he’d thrown one hell of a tantrum. She had half a mind to just leave and let him cool off. But the thought vanished almost as quickly as it formed. Lucy knew she was as likely to leave this room as Jaxon was to look at her. This was her mess and she was the only one who could clean it up.

She’d gone through hell and back in the past few months and now that she knew what she wanted she wasn’t backing down. Jaxon was just going to have to deal with it.

Her eyes landed on a pile of textbooks on the floor that somehow escaped his wrath. Lucy quickly gathered them up in her arms and stacked them on the floor in front of him. She could feel him watching her but she didn’t stop.

Lucy took a deep breath and stepped up onto the teetering pile of books. Jaxon immediately put his hands on her waist to steady her—just like she knew he would.

The man was a hero to a fault. She knew he’d never risk letting her fall. And now that she had Jaxon’s attention, she pulled herself up to her full height and kissed him.

When she pulled back just enough to look at him she saw emotion so intense swirling in his sapphire eyes that she almost couldn’t speak. She was the fool. How had she ever given up five minutes with this boy to talk to someone like Alex?

Lucy knew one thing for certain—she would never make that mistake again.

Jaxon

Jaxon was mesmerized. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening. Lucy had kissed him. And it hadn’t felt like a goodbye kiss. His heart was about to pound out of his chest and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes. God, those eyes. He’d never seen anything like them in all his life. The way the rings of brown and gold and green perfectly mixed together. It drew him in like a moth to a flame. He continued to stare into her eyes, searching for any sign that this wasn’t the end.

Lucy moved her slender hands up his neck, holding his cheeks firmly on either side. “Jaxon, I came here because I need to tell you something and I need you to listen.”

He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to, but he wasn’t ready to hear this, not if it was goodbye. “Not yet,” he whispered, his voice tight with emotion as he pressed his lips against hers one more time.

Jaxon kissed her with all the love he had left inside. He willed it to push out of him. If he couldn’t have her, he needed to get rid of how she made him feel, so he emptied all his love into that kiss. And as he did so, Jaxon felt some of the darkness and loss and chaos that always clouded his mind go with it. He knew he could never truly make it go away. And he knew kissing Lucy like this was stupid and desperate, but she was the only thing that ever made all of his hurt feel smaller, better . . . He just wanted to hold on to that for one more second.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

He pulled back in shock.

“What?”

“Jaxon, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I love you. I want to be with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes!”

She laughed and it was the best sound he’d ever heard.

“Oh thank God!” Jaxon reached up to cup Lucy’s cheek, pulling her lips back to his. “Because I love you too,” he murmured against her mouth and then he claimed her with a kiss that stole away every last broken part of him.

Kissing Lucy made Jaxon feel like he was filling with light—like it was pouring out of him in all the cracked and shattered parts that had refused to heal over the years. Lucy rebuilt him. The glow of her love stitched him whole.

He kissed her slowly, deeply, never wanting it to end. And she kissed him right back. The way she felt in his arms eclipsed any doubts he’d had earlier. They were right back where they were meant to be. Jaxon lifted Lucy off the stack of books and into his arms, holding her to him with the reverence of holding an angel. Because that’s truly what she was—his angel, disguised in the body of a tiny warrior.

This girl had battled past all his demons, through his walls and his armor, right to the very marrow of him. And when he let her in, she wasn’t afraid of what she saw. She loved him despite his flaws and nothing had ever felt better.

Jaxon settled onto his overturned mattress and pulled Lucy into his lap. “What made you change your mind about us?” he asked.

“You did.”

“Me?”

“You made me see that I deserve happiness. And you made me want to find it with you.” She lightly pressed her lips to his. “And I didn’t change my mind about us. It was already made up. I just needed to find the courage to admit that. And today in the pool . . . in your arms . . . I found it. We just got interrupted before I could say everything I wanted to.”

Jaxon pressed his forehead to Lucy’s and gently shook his head. “Let’s never get interrupted again.”

“Deal.”

Lucy

The night rolled by in a wave of kissing that gave way to passion and desire beyond Lucy’s wildest dreams. Jaxon held her with such care that her body almost hurt. She ached for him—for his touch, his gentle caresses and his enticing kisses.

Every time his fingers explored a new part of her body a flame ignited, spreading through her with the heat of a wildfire. She never wanted to it to stop. She wanted to give all herself to him. She wanted to be fully his. She wanted him to erase those that had come before him and make it so she would never imagine wanting anyone after him.

Sensing her need, Jaxon pulled back, his eyes hauntingly beautiful in the moonlight. “Lucy, not like this.”

She traced teasing kisses across his collarbone and he groaned low in his throat. Good Lord, she loved being the reason he made that sound. “Why do you always say that?” she asked.

“Because I want everything to be special for you.” He kissed her head. “You deserve nothing less than perfection.”

Lucy looked up at him. “Jaxon, being with you is the most perfect thing I can imagine.”

“Me too. But too many people have been a part of tonight. When we go there, I want it to be just for us. I want to look back on that first moment and not be able to remember anything but each other.

Well, shit. When he put it that way, she couldn’t argue. Lucy smiled up at Jaxon and kissed his cheek, settling against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. She shivered when he slipped a hand into her long hair.

“Do you want me to take you home?” he asked, his lips against her head.

She shook her head and then gazed up at him. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

A slow smile spread across Jaxon’s face, dazzling Lucy to near breathless proportions. “You can stay with me always.”