Chapter Twenty-Seven
“It’s been three days,” Melanie said, finally breaking the silence in Jay’s living room.
Tyse only looked at her because he’d obviously run out of things to say about it. Jay hadn’t come home the night he left the hospital. He would only answer one text a day and that consisted of “I’m fine.” She had even called him and left voicemails, but he never called back. She had no idea what to think and it was scaring her.
“Well the funeral is tomorrow morning. I’m betting he’ll be there since he’s one of the pallbearers,” Tyse finally said.
A tear slipped down her face. The news of Beck’s sudden death had shocked her to pieces, but to see the residual effects on Jay was heartbreaking. He was shutting everyone out, but what was worse, no one knew where he was at the moment. Teague had assured her he would find out for himself that Jay was okay, but it didn’t make her feel at ease. It killed her inside that he left the hospital that night without a word to her, but worse, he wouldn’t even call her.
“I can’t take this anymore,” she said. “I’m going to work early.”
“You still want to meet up later?”
“Yeah,” she sighed. Why not? Jay was most likely going to keep ignoring her, and she really needed a swim. She’d taken two days off of work, slept in Jay’s bed each night, and stuck around the house in case he came home. She was going stir crazy, but not only that, she just hated being without him.
She took her time heading to the salon but was still twenty minutes early. Even with Jay’s lack of communication, she sent him another text anyway. It said I miss you, and she never got a response from it. It hurt in a big way, but she had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t about her. He’d lost his best friend and he was shutting everyone out while he grieved.
At the end of the day, she desperately needed a swim. Tyse was already at his grandpa’s house, discussing some kind of project the McCallans were investing in. Melanie had no idea what they talked about sometimes but she knew it had to do with a recording studio. She spoke with Blaire for a few minutes before heading out to the pool. It was a nice evening for a swim, but the dreary feelings she felt made it seem more like a chore than something enjoyable.
“You look lonely,” a voice said.
Melanie rolled her eyes, knowing exactly who it belonged to. And Doyle always said that phrase to her, like he expected she would ask him to join her or something. She always tried to avoid the maintenance man’s nephew, even though he was kind of good looking.
Normally she would politely respond that she was just fine and liked the quiet, but she was feeling a bit irritable tonight. “If I wanted company, I would invite friends to join me. So no, I’m not lonely and quit asking me if I am.”
There wasn’t a response right away and Melanie felt uneasy about that. She chanced a glance Doyle’s way and realized he’d walked closer to the pool where she was swimming.
“Is that right?” he smiled at her smugly. “What if I joined you anyways?”
She eyed him carefully as she swam leisurely on her back toward the other side of the pool. “Then my quiet time would be over and I’d have to leave.”
“You’d leave if I swam with you? Wow, you’re a little bitch aren’t you,” he chuckled sarcastically. “You think you’re a McCallan just because you use their pool? Think again, princess. You’re just another cheap slut trying to get her claws on their money.”
“Sounds like someone wants to find a new job, huh?” Tyse said as he came from the back of the house. Melanie was relieved by his timing, especially because he was in just a pair of swim trunks that showed off his tattoos and physique just perfectly. He was definitely similar to Jay in that aspect, even down to the ear piercings, but he was intimidating in exactly the same way.
Doyle turned around with surprise but glared at him. “And you’re another one,” he laughed. “Thinking you belong here.”
Tyse smiled at him and said, “Last time I checked, my last name is McCallan. And even if it weren’t, you’d still be a classless piece of shit below me for calling a girl a bitch and a cheap slut. So no matter how you look at it, you need to be judging yourself instead of others.”
“Fuck off, asshole. It’s people like you that think you’re better than everyone else. I bet you haven’t worked a day in your life. You’ve probably been living off a hunk of hush money to keep one more bastard McCallan from—”
Tyse clocked him right in the face, knocking Doyle to his ass instantly. It made Melanie jump, and for some reason she quickly climbed out of the pool. Tyse was standing over Doyle but she pulled on his arm to keep him back.
“You don’t know a damn thing about me, so I suggest you shut your stupid mouth,” Tyse told him. “When you’ve been in the trenches of hell, let me know. Okay, princess?”
He took a step back, allowing Doyle to stand up. When he did, he didn’t say anything and just walked away.
Melanie let out a breath of air, glad for the quick ending to the altercation. A few months back—when Jordan had come to the house and made her fall on her arm and break it—Jay was not so forgiving. He’d literally yanked Jordan by the throat and threw him into the yard. They fought until neighbors came over to break it up, and then the cops were called.
“I’m sorry about that,” Tyse said, and he truly looked embarrassed.
Yes, Melanie was a bit surprised by his actions at first because he was such a mellow guy most of the time, but she knew he did not like to see women get mistreated like that, even if it was just words. She’d learned that of him the first time they’d even met.
“You don’t need to apologize,” she answered. “He’s a complete creeper and deserved it. Thank you for defending me, though.”
Tyse smiled and then laughed. “A creeper, huh? Sounds like he needs his ass kicked a few times. I’ll beat the creeper right out of him.”
“Good, then I won’t have to worry about him lurking around the pool whenever I’m here.”
“I’m surprised Jay allows that. Doyle obviously doesn’t know you two are together because I seriously doubt he’d be hanging around you if he did.”
“Well Jay has only been here once with me, and I don’t think Doyle was here. But anyways…”
She sighed as she thought about Jay again. Even Tyse used the term “together” when it came to the two of them, but Melanie wasn’t so sure sometimes.
“How quick are your reflexes?”
Tyse raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
Thankful he was only two feet from the edge, Melanie pushed him as hard as she could into the pool. He made a huge splash and Melanie laughed as he surfaced. Before he could make a verbal response other than laughing with her, she jumped into the pool after him.
“A cannonball? Really?” Tyse chuckled.
“Hey, I do them well,” she replied, splashing him in the face.
“Yes. Yes, you do.”
***
“I feel awkward and out of place,” Melanie whispered to Camryn sitting next to her.
“Why? You know Beck and Kyle. And you’re here for Jay.”
Melanie sighed and looked at Jay standing next to the casket with Kyle and four other guys. It was such a depressing environment; sitting in a church she was unfamiliar with and seeing Jay for the first time since he left her in the middle of the night. He looked gorgeous in a black suit and tie, but the somber expression on his face was heartbreaking. He hadn’t even spoken to her, or she to him to respect his space, but all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let go.
“He’ll come around,” Camryn said, seeming to read her thoughts. “Jay keeps to himself when it comes to stuff like this. He’s outspoken in other aspects of his life, but this is not something he wants to deal with.”
“I know,” Melanie barely replied.
She faced forward and watched the pallbearers carefully lift the casket and carry it out the side doors for the hearse. Melanie sat in silence and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. She was sitting between her sister and Tyse; on the other side of Tyse was Kellie, and on the other side of Camryn was Teague.
Jay had not been sitting with them—he’d been in the first row with Kyle and his family—but he hadn’t so much as even looked back at them a single time. Melanie was worried. So worried that she was desperately pondering ideas to help the situation. She knew she couldn’t bring Beck back, but she feared for Jay’s wellbeing more than anything.
When the funeral continued on to the gravesite and Beck was placed in the ground, Melanie held her sister’s hand. The last funeral they’d been at had been for Camryn’s fiancé, Zach, and it was devastating. Camryn could barely keep it together, and it was no wonder Teague had his arm tightly secured around her today. She was reflective and quiet, but although time had passed to help heal the heartbreak, Melanie knew the memories were always there for her sister.
She hoped eventually Jay could heal the same way.
When the crowd gradually dispersed, Melanie was still watching Jay. He was talking with Kyle and then put his hand on his shoulder to give it a pat. Then he walked away, headed for the parking lot, and that’s when Melanie couldn’t hold back any longer. She quickly followed him, calling his name when she got close enough. He was about to get in his car but paused. He didn’t even turn around to look at her and that almost killed her inside. His shoulders literally slumped, like she was the last person on earth he wanted to see.
“Please don’t leave without talking to me,” she told him.
“I don’t have anything to say right now,” he answered quietly, still with his back to her.
She approached the car until she was next to him but he still didn’t look at her. “Jay,” she put her hand on his arm. “Then we don’t have to talk. Are you going home? Can I come with you?”
He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m supposed to go to a family dinner or something with Beck’s family but…”
“I’ll come with you. You don’t have to be alone.”
“You don’t need to be around me, Melanie. I’m not good company and I don’t want to deal with your pity.”
“I do not pity you,” she stated firmly. “I care about you and want to help you through this. You don’t have to do it alone.”
He was staring over the top of the car, obviously trying to avoid eye contact with her. His jaw was set and his gaze was hard, and even though it saddened her to see him like this, it also made her feel desperate.
She gripped his arm hard, forcing him to look at her. “Stop shutting me out!”
“Stop pushing your own agenda on me!” he retorted, pulling his arm from her grasp. “Everyone fucking wants something from me. I can’t give it, okay? Do you understand that? I have nothing to give you!”
His anger hurt, but Melanie tried not to focus on it. “I want nothing from you, Jay. I’m telling you that I’m here for whatever you need. Just tell me what I can do for you and if it’s within my power, I’ll do it. I’ll do it because I love you. Do you hear me? I swear to you, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He stared at her for several long seconds. Something in his eyes told her he was affected somehow, but she knew it wasn’t enough. When he said nothing further and opened his car door, Melanie just stepped away. She let him leave. Despite everything that she felt for him, she just had to let him go.
When she could no longer see his car, she sat on the curb in utter defeat. Her entire family was nearby—Camryn, Teague, Kellie, and Tyse—and she knew they’d witnessed Jay’s refusal. It was Kellie that came over first, and she sat down next to her just as it started to sprinkle rain.
“He lives inside his own head,” Kellie finally spoke softly. “He’s always been that way. I can’t say he’s a complete hardass, but pretty close. He’s the type you never want to piss off unless he’s fighting a battle on your side.”
“I didn’t mean to piss him off,” Melanie replied. Good lord, did she have to be reminded?
“I’m not saying you pissed him off,” Kellie chuckled. “He’s already pissed off. I’m just saying he’s in his own head, trying to sort everything himself. And what he can’t fix, he just can’t understand.”
“I get it,” Melanie relented. “He’s not going to let me in. I just thought I’d try.”
“You’re in more than you know, Mel. And even though that makes me a very happy sister, you gotta give him some space. I’ve known him my whole life, obviously, and he still doesn’t open up to me. I love you, but I’m going to be blunt, okay? You may have softened a few parts of him, but he’s not going to change entirely for you. He’s still Jay, and he’s still a tough soul to figure out, and he’s still going to frustrate you repeatedly. There is no one-hundred-percent happy life with him.”
“There isn’t one-hundred-percent happy with anyone, and I’m not looking for easy with Jay. I already know that it won’t be a cinch. Why is everyone so hell bent on reminding me of that? Why can’t you guys have a little more faith in him than that?”
“Faith in him?” Kellie asked, turning to face her. “I believe in my brother more than anyone. Don’t tell me I don’t have faith in him. But my hope for him is that he achieves what he wants, not what anyone else wants. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but like I said earlier… He’s not going to change entirely for you. I’m not saying I know what he wants besides his own shop—hell, I don’t even know if it is what he still wants—but don’t get upset if that’s on his list ahead of your name.”
Melanie already knew that, and maybe that’s why this was so tough. She’d tried so hard to let Jay do his own thing and make his own choices, but when they started to get closer, it was difficult not to dream about what she could have with him. Maybe she really was being selfish in the matter and needed to back the hell off. She loved Jay with her entire heart, but maybe that’s why she needed to give him some distance.
“You’re right,” she answered quietly as she stood. She brushed off her skirt and added, “I never intended to make his life more difficult.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Kellie stood.
“Well I certainly don’t need to be lectured on his personality. I already know everything you’ve told me. I’m saying I agree with you because you’re right. He gave me an inch and I wanted a mile. I can’t do that with him, I know that.”
“Melanie, I don’t want you upset with me. I’m worried about my brother, but I’m trying to make sure you’re okay too and it’s…it’s not working. I can’t fucking solve everyone’s problems—”
“I’m not asking you to. Look, I appreciate everyone’s concern for me when it comes to Jay. I get it, okay? No one wants to see us on the outs—it would be really awkward for all of you, so I understand the warnings—but I’m a big girl and can deal with this just fine. I’m going to give him space if that’s what he needs, but I’m not doing that by disappearing entirely. At least not right away.”
“No, don’t think that way,” Kellie sighed.
“Well if I’m not what he needs or wants in his life, I’m not going to force myself into it. That’s just a fact. But I gotta get going,” she said, changing the subject. She couldn’t bear to talk about this any longer. “There’s a special little poochie I have an appointment to see.”
“A what?”
“A dog,” Melanie smiled. “I’ll call you later and fill you in.”
“Um, okay,” Kellie replied as she gave her a hug goodbye.
Melanie waved at Camryn, Teague, and Tyse as she headed for her car. She went quickly, just to avoid another conversation like the one with Kellie....