6
Violet looked up and let the hot summer sun warm her face, a smile spreading across her lips as she and Lily walked down the sidewalk, headed to the bookstore.
“You know how much I love it here?” she asked Lily.
“Why? It’s so boring.”
“Sometimes,” Violet agreed. “I don’t think I mind boring as much as I thought I would. In fact, I kind of like boring.”
“Is that why you read history books for fun?”
Violet laughed and looked down at Lily. The girl looked a little ragged, but that was to be expected from a nine-year-old after a long summer day. She’d been to camp and had spent part of her afternoon helping clean the truck. She had volunteered, but still, it was work for a kid. Her dark hair was frizzy and sticking out of her ponytail, and her shirt was smeared with dirt.
“I like history,” she reminded Lily. “When we get to the bookstore, we’ll find something you like.”
“I like comics.”
“Me too,” Violet agreed easily. “And I like a good ghost story. You know, the kind that makes you freak out a little when the lights go out. But that’s just me. Oh, and I like books about dogs. I’ve never had a dog myself, but I love stories about dogs.”
“You’ve never had a dog?”
“No. Have you?”
Lily shook her head. “Well, no. But you’re way older than me.”
Violet nodded.
“We’ll look all around and see if there’s something you like. You can read all the comics in the world and still fit in another book or two. Who knows, you might find something you really like.”
A happy jingle sounded when she pulled open the door of the Bay Bookshop.
“Hey Bronte.” Violet waved at the woman that worked in the shop. “Lukas.” She smiled at Bronte’s boyfriend.
“Hey Vi.” Bronte waved. “Who’s your friend?”
“This is Lily. She’s on the hunt for something new.”
Bronte’s eyes lit up. “I just shelved a row of new releases by the window.”
“Thanks.”
Violet steered Lily toward the new stuff and they perused the section for a few minutes. Lily pulled out a few titles that were geared toward kids, but nothing seemed to stick.
“Not finding anything?”
She shook her head. “Maybe I’m just not good at reading.”
Violet’s brow drew down. “You don’t have to be good at reading to like to read. It’s all just practice anyway. I’m a slow reader and it takes me twice as long to read books as it does my sister Ivy.”
“Really?”
“She used to pick on me about it when we were younger.”
“I’m not the best reader in my class,” the girl admitted quietly.
“You don’t have to be the best to love something. You just have to do it the best you can. You could pick up any of these books and find you like it. You just have to take your time and work at your own pace. Believe me, Lily, life will be a lot harder if you spend all your time worrying about how you measure up to other people. You just have to be you and remember that it’s good enough.” Violet reached out and held Lily’s hand. “And reading is my thing. You may find you don’t like it all that much and that’s okay too. Someday, you’ll find your thing and you’ll love that, whatever it is.”
“What if I want to be a chef, like you.”
“I’m not a chef,” Violet reminded her. “I just happen to like cooking. Plus, it gives me an excuse to get messy and who wouldn’t love that?”
Just then Bronte popped her head around a bookcase and held out a book. “This is new too.” She handed it to Lily.
The girl’s eyes lit up as she looked at the cover. “Is that real?”
Violet looked over her shoulder at an elaborate cake on the front of a cookbook. “Cool,” she commented.
“Can we do that?”
“We could try.”
Lily looked up at her, eyes filled with hope and wonder. “Yeah?”
Violet wrapped her arm around the girl’s shoulder as she cracked the book open. “Yeah.”
* * *
Nearly two hours later, Violet and Lily left the bookshop with stars in their eyes and a grocery list a mile long. They’d picked out cakes and tarts to attempt to create, all complicated works of art they’d most likely make a mess of.
But they were going to try and that was the important part.
Lily was excited, ready to try something new and get her hands dirty. It was a step out of the child’s comfort zone of computers and comic books. They’d bond and have fun and to Violet, that was important.
“Do you really think we can make these?”
“We can do our best. Worst-case scenario, we can call Marco, the pastry chef at the Fortune’s Grand, and have him help us.”
“Do you think he will?”
“He’s offered to work with me before on some dessert stuff. I think he could be persuaded.”
As they turned the corner of the park, Gabe was striding toward them from the parking lot. The look on his face was thunderous, the exact opposite of the last time she’d seen him when he’d been kissing the life out of her.
“Where have you been?” He was back to scowling at her, his tone harsh and grating.
“Look, Dad,” Lily said, trying to show him the book in her hand, but he ignored her, his laser focus on Violet.
“I’ve been calling you for hours. Where have you been?”
“We went to the bookstore. I didn’t bring my phone,” she admitted.
He rolled his eyes and if anything, his expression grew darker. “Of course, you didn’t. It’s not like you took off with my kid.” He looked down at Lily and the book she was holding out. “That looks cool, honey. Can you show me more at home?”
Lily looked warily between the two of them and nodded. “I guess.”
“Go get in the truck,” he told her.
Violet waved at Lily, her smile giving away nothing. “See you soon.”
The girl trudged to the truck and only when the car door closed did Gabe turn back to look at her. He was practically sneering, his anger so palpable she could feel it rolling against her skin.
She crossed her arms and raised a brow.
“What did I do this time?”
“You were supposed to be here with Lily. You told me you’d be here, but when I came to pick her up, no one’s around.”
“We’re not even late,” she argued.
“That’s not the point,” he growled. “If you think you’re going to take my daughter gallivanting all over town, I’d at least like to know where you’re taking her.”
“Well, first we went to the all-male review they were having at the ladies’ garden club meeting.” She put her hands on her hips and squared off with him. “You should have seen the men, Gabe. Lily and I were just rolling in them.”
“Stop it.”
“Then we went over to the tattoo shop. I wasn’t super into it, but Lily really wanted to go.”
“I said stop.”
“Turns out, I really was into it. I think piercings are my thing, but they’re all under my clothes, you’ll have to use your imagination for that one.”
“Violet.” His lips were pursed and he was glaring daggers at her.
She couldn’t have cared less. His mood swings were not acceptable in her world. He could treat her with the respect she deserved or he could see his way out of her life.
“I agreed to watch your daughter and care for her to the best of my abilities. If you, for some reason, have concerns that my abilities are lacking, I expect you to bring those concerns to me in an adult fashion and not ambush me.”
“I want to know where my daughter is at all times. That’s not too much to ask from a babysitter, is it?”
That’s all she was to him, a babysitter. A pain she hadn’t been expecting lanced through her.
Her eyes shifted to see Lily watching them with concern from the truck, and her heart nearly broke in two.
“You know, Gabe,” Violet said quietly holding up her hands in surrender. “I love your daughter. She talks and I swear I hear my own voice, my own fears being spoken back to me. She’s got big dreams and a huge heart.”
“You think I don’t know that.”
Violet ignored him. “As much as I love her and want to be her friend, it’s not worth the sacrifice of having you in my life.” Her voice wobbled and she steeled herself, determined to get out what she had to say and walk away. “Never has anyone made me feel as small as you do. You do it under the guise of protecting Lily, but you never miss an opportunity to point out every failure you see when you look at me. There’s no love in this world that’s big enough to make me tolerate that. I’ll tell Lily goodbye and after that, don’t come to my truck again.” She spun on her heel and stalked away.
“Violet,” Gabe called.
The words hit her back as she walked to her truck and shut herself inside.
* * *
The banging on her door started at six that night. Violet ignored it as best she could, first by turning up the music and then with her headphones.
She’d peeked out the window to see Gabe’s truck parked at the curb and decided tuning him out was her best option. The look on his face when she’d walked away had surprised her, like he was hurt. Like somehow, he’d been the one that was brokenhearted to walk away, when it had been the other way around. She’d made it home just in time to indulge in a small crying jag and two glasses of wine.
Gabe was hot, but there was no one on earth she would let belittle her that way, no matter how sexy they looked with a tool belt slung across their hips.
By seven, when he was still there knocking, she stomped her way to the door and flung it open.
“Go away,” she growled.
“I’m sorry,” he told her in greeting.
“Not sorry enough.”
“Violet, I’m an idiot. I am so sorry.”
She was not letting him off the hook with a simple apology. Whatever his issues were with her, or life in general, he didn’t have any right to treat her the way he had.
“Tell it to someone who cares,” she said, swinging the door closed in his face.
She walked away, but turned when it didn’t make the satisfying slamming noise she’d hoped for.
Gabe stood there, looking contrite, with his foot in the doorway.
“Please let me explain,” he begged. “If after that you still want me out, I’ll go.”
She crossed her arms. “Oh, there’s an explanation for why you treat me like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe?”
“There is,” he said, taking a step into the house but waiting just over the threshold. “Let me explain, Violet, and apologize.”
Arms still across her chest, she just raised her brows.
He looked uncomfortable, like whatever he was going to say was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but he bolstered himself up anyway. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his muscles flexing and bulging under his T-shirt.
“I don’t think Lily’s mother ever had any intentions of sticking around. She was just passing through when we hooked up. Then she got pregnant and talked about staying, but only vaguely. We didn’t move in together or even work on being in a relationship. Hell, we were barely friends, but kids change things. At least, Lily did for me. I guess I just assumed Rachel would feel the same.”
“Rachel is Lily’s mother?”
He nodded. It was the first time he’d ever spoken her name to Violet.
“Not too long after Lil was born, she started talking about road trips and vacations. She wanted to go to a music festival out in the middle of some desert.”
“Burning Man?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “But we had a baby.”
“People who have babies don’t stop living their lives, Gabe. They can raise a baby and still do things.”
“She wanted to leave.” He shrugged. “She wanted to leave Lily here with me and take off. She talked about a new adventure every damn day, and not one of them involved Lily. Me, I couldn’t care less that I wasn’t involved, but nothing about her daughter being with her. I didn’t care that we weren’t together, but I wanted her to be there for Lily. I wanted it for Lil, to have a family, even if we weren’t traditional. But Rachel didn’t want a baby. The more work Lily became, the more plans Rachel made to leave.”
“And this has anything do with me, how?”
“You’re an adventurer, Violet. You’re a traveler, always making plans to go here, and do this, or do that. I want Lily to have a stable home life and know where her roots are. It’s hard for me to think about her getting wild ideas and running off, never to be heard from again.”
“So, because I’ve traveled the world and have dreams, I’m clearly the person to lead Lily down the wrong path in life?”
He shook his head, frustrated. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Yes, it is,” she argued. “You think I’m like Rachel and you don’t want me around Lily because I’ll be a bad influence. Got it. You didn’t have to come here to reiterate.”
He took a few steps closer and held her by the shoulders.
“I can’t help how I feel, Violet. I can tell myself you’re different and you’ll stay, but I don’t know that. I can tell myself it doesn’t matter if you go, but it does. You’re good for me, too, but I can’t help worrying. I’ve been burned, but not nearly as bad as Lily has. I need to protect her.”
“From me,” Violet clarified.
“From whatever life throws at her that she needs to be protected from.” He cupped her face, his eyes imploring. “I know you mean well, Vi. I know you love Lily and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that because no matter how much I argue, she needs someone like you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for the things I said today and for making you cry.”
He rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs.
“I am so sorry I made you feel small. I look at you and you’re larger than life, the boldest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever put my hands on. I hate to think I ever made you feel otherwise. You’re a great friend to Lily and she’s right to look up to you. I know I’m in the wrong, it’s just not always something I can get a handle on right away.”
Violet felt her insides cave a little. When he put it that way, she could see his side of the coin. His worry for Lily was always at the forefront, making sure the girl would succeed in the world. She couldn’t imagine being in his or Lily’s position, having been abandoned by someone who was meant to take care of you.
Her family may have been unorthodox, but they were loyal and loving.
“I can’t say I’m going to live in Fortune’s Bay forever,” she told him. “I don’t think that makes me bad company for Lily, but that isn’t my call.”
“You’re not—”
“But you don’t get to throw it in my face anymore. I’m not Rachel. If I ever leave, you can bet your ass there’ll be a lot of long goodbyes and going-away parties. I like to fly by the seat of my pants, but I also appreciate the connections I make with people along the way.”
While she didn’t have any plans to leave Fortune’s Bay, she hadn’t made any moves to make it her forever home, either.
Maybe Gabe was right. Maybe Lily wouldn’t benefit from loving another grown woman, only to have her leave.
Without warning, Gabe pressed his lips against hers, sealing her to him.
Violet hesitated, still unsure of where they stood, but ultimately wrapped him in her arms, throwing herself into his kiss.
Cocooned by him, she felt safe and cherished. The way he kissed her, as if she was everything, came out of nowhere. It was different from the last time they’d locked lips. This time, instead of heated passion or fun, there was longing. That was the ache she felt in her chest when he talked about her leaving or Lily being left alone.
Violet longed to be part of them. She wanted to be the one Lily came to. She wanted to walk Lily to school and make Gabe lunches.
She was growing roots somewhere. The concept was so foreign, she almost felt panicked, but the second the thought entered her head, Gabe swept her into his arms.
There was no question where he was taking her and she made no argument, the dance they’d been doing for months inevitably coming to a head.
When Gabe kicked the bedroom door closed behind him and towered over her on the bed, she smiled up at him.
“No going back on me now, bro,” she whispered.
He latched onto one of her feet and yanked her closer, her hips meeting his. The look in his eye was feral.
“I’m not your damn bro,” he growled.
Violet couldn’t help it. She laughed, reaching her arms out for him. He lowered himself on top of her.
“We can argue about it later,” she whispered.
“I look forward to it.”
* * *
Two hours later, Violet was sitting cross-legged on her bed in nothing but Gabe’s T-shirt. He was propped up on some pillows, an arm thrown carelessly above his head as he watched her eat.
He had a definite model pose going on and she wasn’t about to knock it. The man had a body worth a thousand sonnets and she was feeling like just the person to write them.
“If you could just stay like that and not ever move, I’d be okay with that.”
He raised a brow. “You liked the way I moved not too long ago.”
“Well, you can move to do that but afterward, you have to go back there.” She waved a hand at him.
The blanket was slung over his hips hiding his lower body from her view. She sent him a challenging smirk and inched the covers down until his entire body was exposed. His expression didn’t change and he lay there with no shame, totally naked.
“Like this,” she said.
“You want me to be naked in your bed all the time?” he clarified.
“That’s a start,” she said, leaning over to pop a grape in his mouth. “Not talking would be next on my list.”
“You love to talk.”
“I love to talk,” she agreed. “You, on the other hand, yell and say stupid crap. You should be quiet.”
“I said I was sorry,” he told her, brows drawn.
“You’ll have to say it a lot more if you think I’m going to believe you.”
“You must believe me a little. You just let me—”
“I know what I did,” she argued, interrupting him. “I had a weak moment.”
“Was it my cute smile?”
“No,” she lied.
He leaned forward and snagged her hand, pulling her to straddle him.
“I can think of a few other ways to show you how sorry I am.”
She pretended to consider. “You could try, but there’s no guarantee. I could be upset for a while. And you can’t smooth everything out with sex.”
“Not everything,” he agreed. “But maybe some of it.”
In a quick move, he stripped the shirt off over her head and took her lips in a kiss.
“I’ll try something else. Let me know if this works.”
He laid down flat and arranged her so she was straddling his face. Violet looked up at the ceiling, her face heating.
“Oh, my,” she whispered.