7
“I don’t want to go back to school,” Lily whined, for the hundredth time, Gabe was sure.
“I know, Lil, but summer’s over and it’s time to go back. It’ll be nice to get back on a regular schedule and see your friends.”
He could hear her eye roll from the kitchen. “I’ve been seeing my friends all summer at camp. Plus, I have Violet.”
Gabe’s brain immediately conjured an image of Violet in his mind that would not be safe to share with his daughter. For two weeks, they’d been sneaking around and stealing time together. He’d taken advantage of his parent’s offerings of sleepovers more than ever before, and had spent that time solely with Violet.
She was not what he thought she was. His initial impression of her, while right, was still also wrong. She was a free spirit and a traveler, but she wasn’t running. Unlike Rachel, she wasn’t always searching for a way out or a coming up with an excuse to leave.
The more they talked and got to know each other, he was sure Violet was searching for the exact opposite. She waxed poetic about her time on the road and her family’s adventures, but when she talked about building a home in her grandmother’s house, she lit up. She had plans for that place and plans for her future in Fortune’s Bay.
Every time they were together, it became easier and easier to see himself and Lily as part of those plans.
He was lucky she accepted his apology. He had a bad habit of acting before thinking and he’d made an ass of himself. He wasn’t too proud to admit he was sorry, no matter how stupid he looked.
And he had looked stupid and she had every right to be angry with him.
When he remembered the look on her face as she’d told him off, a cross between gloriously furious and heartbroken, he kicked himself all over again.
He’d made too many wrong assumptions about her in the beginning, and he swore he wasn’t going to do it again. He’d taken her for nothing more than a pretty face with a wild streak, but she was so much more. She was smart as a whip, her knowledge of history astounding. She retold stories to Lily in a way that not only interested her, but taught her, as well. It was fascinating.
She was fascinating.
More than being someone who wandered through life like he’d originally thought, he got the distinct impression she was searching for a home. Somewhere she belonged.
Maybe he took his life in Fortune’s Bay for granted. The simplicity and solidity of it all. He’d never questioned where he belonged or where his roots were. It had always been his goal to make sure Lily had the same things to fall back on, despite her mother’s absence.
“Do you think Violet will come to my open house this year at school?”
Gabe’s brow furrowed as he looked to his daughter, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Her face was neutral, masking any indication of which way she wanted him to answer.
At nine, she shouldn’t have that skill and his heart ached for her.
“Do you want her to?”
She gave a small nod. “I just know you don’t like her very much.”
Gabe sat heavily on the coffee table and held his arms out to her. She walked to him and stood before him, looking nervous.
“It’s not that I don’t like Violet, Lil. She’s a great friend to you and I really want that for you.”
“Then why are you always mean to her?”
“Because I’m an idiot most of the time and I speak before I think, instead of the other way around.”
She laughed and he was glad she wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t laugh at him.
“But, why do you say those things in the first place?”
Gabe considered tiptoeing around the subject, but knew Lily needed better from him. She needed the truth.
“Because sometimes, when I look at Violet, I see your mom. Sometimes, the things she says or her stories remind me that maybe Violet isn’t going to stay here for a long time, like your mom, and I worry you’ll get hurt. I don’t want that and sometimes, because I’m trying to protect you, I say things I don’t really mean.”
“Like that Violet’s fanciful?”
He shook his head. “No, that’s the truth, but that’s why I snap at her sometimes.”
“But Violet’s my friend.”
He nodded. “I know she is and she’s a great friend for you. I’m just scared for you that you’ll get attached and she’ll go away.”
“Like Mom,” she tacked on.
“Like your mom,” he agreed.
She looked away then, her little throat moving as she swallowed. He could see her working up the courage to ask and he waited as patiently as he could. It was important for her to ask. He understood now that Violet had been right about Lily. She hadn’t stopped wondering about her mother, she’d just stopped talking about it.
“Is she ever coming back for me?”
Her lip wobbled, but she didn’t shed a tear. He wasn’t so sure about himself though so he pulled her in for a hug, hiding his emotions from her.
“I don’t know, honey. I know she’s missing out because you’re an awesome kid.” He held her out at arm’s length. “I know if she ever does come back, she has a lot to make up for and a lot of questions to answer.”
She nodded, but didn’t say anything else.
“I know that it won’t be something either of us will forgive very easily, and that’s okay. It’s okay for you to be angry at her for leaving you.”
“Is it okay if I’m not angry?”
Gabe hung his head. She was killing him with her soft, timid questions. As if she didn’t have a right to feel how she did.
“Yeah, baby. It’s alright if you’re not angry. I know I am, but you get to feel however you want.”
“Violet said that, too.”
Gabe narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, Violet said that too?”
“When I asked her if she thought I had to be as angry as you about my mom being gone, she said I get to feel any which way I do, and that’s okay. Like you said.”
“You talked about your mom with Violet?”
“Just a little.”
“When was this?”
“Last week when we went to the beach.”
Funny, Violet hadn’t said a word to him about it when they’d been naked in bed just the night before. He immediately wondered if there was a reason she was talking to Lily about something so personal. What did she have to gain from it?
“You know you can always talk to me, right?”
“I know,” she said as she wrapped her skinny arms around his neck. “But sometimes, it’s easier to talk to Violet. We’re two peas in a pod, she said.”
Gabe tried to keep his blood pressure from spiking.
“I know you’re friends, Lil, but try to guard your heart a little. Violet doesn’t exactly have a reputation for staying in one place too long. I don’t want you to get too attached or get your hopes up, only to have her leave.”
“Violet’s not leaving,” she argued. “She got a book about dogs last week.”
He wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything and said as much. “And that means what?”
“She’s never had a dog before because she was always moving. She got a book about them so she could learn how to take care of one. Then she’ll get one and then she’ll stay.”
He wasn’t about to argue with her, but that kind of convoluted logic wasn’t exactly inspiring.
“Just remember I’m always here for you and I always will be.”
“Do you think Violet will come to the open house?”
“I think if Violet’s around, she’d love to go.”
The only question was, would she still be in Fortune’s Bay.
Somehow, in one conversation, Gabe had officially talked himself in a circle and was right back where he started.
* * *
The end of summer had blown by in weeks’ worth of heat waves and ice cream. Violet removed the last of the perishables from the Batten Down the Hashes truck and put them in a cooler.
Unfortunately, her refrigeration unit had crapped out and needed a complete overhaul. The repair company estimated it would take at least two weeks to get back up and running. It wasn’t ideal, but that’s what she got for buying a used truck.
Not that she could have afforded a new one.
The timing wasn’t all bad. With Lily going back to school, her babysitting days were up. Not to mention, her parents were sailing in for a last-minute visit. It almost seemed like fate that her truck would go out of service, allowing her to have the time to spend with them.
She headed into the house to start a new task, lost in thought.
Their visit would, however, probably keep Gabe out of her bed and that was a crying shame. While he tended to be brusque and often rude in real life, behind the closed door of the bedroom, with his clothes off, he was a sweet-talker. He whispered in her ear. He gave her sensual massages. He fed her like she was a queen and he was her slave.
She rather liked that idea, but when she’d mentioned it, he’d scowled. It had been worth a try.
Gabe was a puzzle she had yet to figure out, though she was giving it her best shot. Yes, he broke just about every rule of etiquette out there. He was quick to anger and snap at people. He was suspicious and, on top of that, he could be quiet and that made her nervous sometimes.
He was also generous. Not just with his skills as a contractor, but with his time. He never rushed her, never made her feel like she was taking too long to do something. He talked her through all the decisions she made with her house and even if he disagreed with her, helped her anyway.
He was a paradox she hadn’t quite figured out.
That was half the fun, she figured.
There was a downside to the thing she had going on with Gabe, and that was she had fallen in love with the oaf.
Oh sure, she hadn’t meant to. He was, after all, everything she wasn’t looking for in a man. Someone who didn’t understand her wanderlust or want to. He didn’t have any intention of ever leaving Fortune’s Bay, his roots deep and firm.
The things she’d always thought she wanted in her future—adventure and exploration—didn’t seem to make sense anymore.
Gabe made sense.
The sound he made when she pulled a laugh from him, even when he was in a bad mood. The way he liked to pull her to sit between his thighs when they watched a movie on the couch. How he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the back of her neck before he stole out of bed in the night before rushing home.
The way he loved his daughter and made her his whole world. When it came to Lily, he was a total softy. His eyes got all melty and warm when he talked about her, like the mere mention of her softened all his hard edges.
It was one of the sexiest things about him.
Lily made sense.
Thinking of her constant questions about life and the world around her brought a smile to Violet’s face as she lugged a box out of the house and onto the front walk. Lily never left a question unsaid, even if it was hard to ask. Even if it was pulled from the depths, she was courageous enough to ask.
They’d had a bonding moment on the beach just the week before where Lily had posed some hard questions about how she was supposed to feel about her mother. Violet marveled at the grit the girl had, knowing how hard it was to face those kinds of fears.
Hell, Violet was facing them with far less grace and dignity than a nine-year-old. Instead of pulling on her big-girl panties and telling Gabe how she felt, she let the moment slip by every time.
It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell him and just get it over with, but something kept holding her back.
She could take a lesson or two from Lily.
Her ultimate fear was not that Gabe wouldn’t love her back. Maybe he wasn’t there yet, but their chemistry was off the charts and what they had was far more than a physical connection. They laughed and joked often. He touched her hand when he spoke, his eyes bright with interest. She watched him as he worked on her house, helping her create her dream home, without asking for anything in return.
Certainly, she benefited more from their arrangement of her spending time with Lily, than he did doing the hard labor of rehabbing the house.
No, it was far more than physical. In just a few weeks, her life revolved around them and she didn’t mind a bit. She liked being a part of something. She imagined them to be planets, all working in conjunction and revolving around each other. To her, it was the most natural and beautiful thing to fall into.
Ultimately, her fear was that Gabe would never really see her as reliable. He was always second-guessing the things she told him, checking on things she had told him were fine. He was always watching, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He’d been burned, she knew, but she wondered if he’d ever give her a real chance.
She wondered if he’d ever give anyone a chance.
She dragged another box onto the front walk and went back in for another. Her parents were heading down to the Caribbean after their visit in Fortune’s Bay to see her sister Ivy. A recent hurricane had done significant damage to the island Ivy was living on. When Violet heard about the devastation and looked around at all the things in her grandmother’s house, things she didn’t need, she’d immediately started boxing them up to donate.
When all was said and done, there were nearly ten large boxes all filled with household items anyone could use. It wasn’t much, but she felt good about it.
She stood and looked back into the house, still filled with things. She’d never seen a great need for things in her life. Her parents had made it a point to not need things. There had to be more to give, she thought, looking into the house.
If she could just fill up a few more boxes, she could give more to people who really needed it.
* * *
Two hours later, Gabe pulled up to Violet’s and found her flushed and sweaty, surrounded by what looked like a yard sale on her front walk.
“Hey!” she greeted with a smile as she leaned in on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek.
His brow furrowed as he took in the scene. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here in the middle of the day?” she asked. “Thought you guys were rushing to get that attic job done.”
“We are,” he said, confusion carving deep lines in his forehead. “What are you doing?”
“Just cleaning some stuff out.”
He spied the brand-new coffee pot she’d bought the week before poking out of a box. Violet quickly closed the box with some packing tape and pushed it forward with her foot.
Far be it from him to jump to conclusions, but she looked like she was packing. Immediately, he felt himself bristle with annoyance which only stirred the question that had been on his mind since Lily brought it up.
“Have you been talking to Lily about her mother?”
Violet’s head snapped up from the box she was taping. He’d expected her to look at least a little guilty, but instead she looked confused.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “Why? Was I not supposed to?”
“It just seems awfully personal.”
She stood slowly then, sizing him up in a way that made him vaguely uncomfortable.
“What did I do now?” she asked, her voice annoyed. “Yesterday you came here and had me naked before we left the dining room and now you’re sneering at me. What did I do to piss you off now?”
She was right. Just the day before he’d come by to help with the house and they hadn’t made it past the dining room table before he’d taken her right on top of the damn thing. She’d been so alive, laughing at his urgency as he filled her, pressing her back against the hard surface until she screamed her release.
“You know,” she said, her voice quiet. “You’ve got a lot going on Gabe, and I appreciate that. I want to fight for you. I want to tell you I’m the girl for you and that we could make this thing work between us. But, I’m just not sure that’s true. One day, I’m just what you need and you treat me like I actually matter, and the next, I’m the most disgusting thing you’ve ever come across.”
“You do matter,” He insisted. “But I’ve got Lily to look out for—”
“That’s a load of crap and you use it like a crutch. It’s old, Gabe. Man up and admit that you’ve got issues, just like the rest of us. Why don’t you just tell me what’s bothering you instead of coming over here with some kind of accusation in your eyes, but not on your lips. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”
“Lily wants you to come to her goddamn open house at school, like you’re some kind of permanent fixture in her life, and here you are, packing up to leave.”
Her face froze and he felt a small victory, like he’d finally caught her in a lie, but it still stung. Here she was surrounded by boxes of belongings, packing up her life, and she hadn’t bothered to say a word about it. No big going-away parties like she’d promised, no word about anything.
“This was exactly what I warned her about,” he continued. “That you didn’t know how to settle down somewhere, that it just wasn’t you. But you insisted and now she loves you, and thinks you’re a part of her life. How do you think she’ll take it when she finds out you’re gone?”
“The only thing in this world that would keep me from Lily, is you,” she told him through clenched teeth. “I told you before and I meant every word, I won’t allow you to make me feel like this. I’ve never lied to you and I’d sure as hell never lie to Lily. You want to see every move I make as my one foot out the door, that’s on you.”
“I have to protect—”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that story,” she interrupted him as she took a step back and away. “But the bottom line is, you’re just trying to protect yourself. Here I am, wondering how I’m going to clue you in to the fact that I love your big dumb ass and you stop by, ready to stomp me down.”
“You—”
“You, despite being everything I want when the doors are closed, never fail to let me down in real life, when it matters the most. You’re the first in line to pick apart my failures and make sure I know just what I always do wrong.”
She was furious and in her anger, flushed and absolutely lovely. It broke his heart nearly as much as it fueled his own anger. She was standing in the middle of the evidence of her departure and still expected him to look away. She declared her love for him and planned on walking out the door anyway.
“Violet, you’re literally packing your things in front of me. You’re getting ready to leave and you want me to be happy you’re going?” His voice was rising and it was work to keep himself from grabbing her and shaking her.
“So, without asking me a thing, you already know what’s going on here?” She shrugged and shook her head. “You know what they say about assumptions, Gabe?”
“I can’t do this,” he told her, running a hand down his face.
“I agree. You definitely can’t.” Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was glaring at him. It brought him right back to where they started, her on the food truck and him giving her the cold shoulder.
He hated it.
“I think you should go,” she told him, her voice firm.
He agreed. “The only thing I ever asked of you, Violet, was to tell me if you planned on leaving. I’m only trying to protect Lily.”
“So you said.”
“She needs stability in her life. Someone that’s going to stick by her and be loyal.”
Her head snapped back as if he’d struck her. “And that’s not me, I suppose, is it?” The words choked out of throat.
Gabe held out his hands to encompass the boxes. “No. It doesn’t seem like it is.”
She nodded. “You’ve made your point, Gabe.”
“You’re a good person, Violet. You’re kind and smart—”
“Just not loyal enough for you.”
When she said it like that, it didn’t make sense. He knew Violet and she was loyal. Not just that, she was thoughtful and kindhearted. Why would she do something like pack up and leave without saying anything?
“Prove me wrong, Vi,” he begged. “Tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice low. “You made your mind up about me the minute we met and that opinion obviously hasn’t changed. I have no intention of defending every move I make.”
“Please, Violet.”
She shrugged, not saying a word.
“Well,” he whispered. “I guess that’s that.”
“Guess so,” she replied.
Then she turned on her heel and went inside, the door closing behind her with a near-silent click.