I asked the doorman to write down the address of the apartment building on the back of one of Eric's business cards, but maybe I should've asked him where to find a mall too. I've been walking for a long time now, but I'm still surrounded by tall apartment buildings, no stores in sight. I should just go back and make a better plan for my next outing. I'm not even sure I want to be spending Eric's money. I wouldn't even consider it, if I had a choice. But I only have a five and some change in my own wallet, and maybe one hundred dollars left in my account. And I need new underwear if nothing else. I washed the panties I'm wearing before I left and dried them the best I could with a hair-dryer I found in my bathroom, but they're still damp. I need a new pair of shoes too. These sandals just won't do. My feet are dirtier than they've ever been from just this short walk.

The streets are so huge and so crowded, that I'm starting to get dizzy. Especially once I realize I'm not even sure which direction Eric's apartment is in.

But I have the address, I'll be fine.

I reach a sort of square, where four huge avenues come together, and across all that is a huge building with mannequins in the window. A mall. Finally! I should find everything I need in there.

A short, wiry old man holds the door open for me, smiling invitingly. I return his greeting and then I'm standing at one end of a huge room that's filled with gleaming counters selling everything from perfumes to watches, make-up and sunglasses. The entire mall in my small town could fit into this room twice over with room to spare. The air is thick with fragrances mixing in the air, the smell so strong my nose is starting to sting. Everything is sparkling to a blinding degree.

A lady bumps into my arm, knocking me sideways. Not because it was a hard bump, but because I have no bearing left.

"Excuse me," she mutters, but the way she's eyeing me up and down makes it clear she's not really sorry. She disappears into the crowd around the counters.

I take a few steps forward but stop again in front of a glass display box housing the most beautiful orchid I've ever seen. It’s otherwise white but splashed with deep wine red splotches, its petals arranged in such an intricate pattern I could stare at it all day and still not see it in its entirety. When I finally stop trying, I notice the other ones. Orchids of every color, shape, and size are on display in this vast room, though only that first one is in a glass box. The rest are in pots, some even hanging in planters from the ceiling. I tried to keep orchids at home, even succeeded for a time, but the dry desert heat always killed them in the end.

I wander from one to the next, forgetting all else as I take in the gorgeous colors and shapes of these majestic flowers, which are nothing but weeds really, yet more beautiful than any other flower, even the ones made for princesses.

My legs are aching by the time I see them all. And I suddenly feel very silly, because I was supposed to be shopping, and I have no idea how much time I just spend looking at flowers.

I'm in a completely different part of the store now, staring at rows upon rows of underwear of all kinds and in a million different colors.

That's exactly what I need. Some underwear. I pick up a pair of pink panties with a lacy waistband. The material can't be cotton, it's too soft for that. I search for the tag to see what it is, and nearly have a heart attack when I see the price. Fifty dollars. But that can't be right. Not for a pair of panties that wouldn't even cover my butt completely. Yet, that's how much they cost. And the next three I check are even more expensive.

A woman not much older than me, wearing a smart dark blue skirt and jacket is suddenly standing next to me. "Can I help you find your size?"

"Ummm, I…I don't…" I have no idea what to even ask her.

"These are lovely," she says, picking up the pair that I just put back. "I have a few myself."

"I was actually looking for something a little more…ummm…" I know my face must be bright red right now.

"Sexier?" she asks, giving me a conspiratory wink. "Follow me."

She strides off, but she couldn't be more wrong. Even though Eric would like something sexier, I'm sure of that.

"I meant cheaper," I call after her, causing more than a few of the other shoppers to stare at me. My cheeks are positively burning. Way to go, Joy. You can make a fool of yourself in any situation. I almost duck behind a hangar to hide, but miraculously manage not to act on that impulse.

"Oh," the clerk says and comes back over to me. "Well, we have a few clearance items left, but not many in your size, I'm afraid. Maybe you should try a different store."

Her tone isn't as friendly anymore, though it’s not quite condescending either. I think she's trying to be helpful.

"Where could I find a store like that around here?"

"There's none around here. But there's one on Thirty-fourth Street. Just take the A subway train downtown and you'll see it right where you exit the station."

"OK, great, thanks." I turn and leave the lingerie department, fighting the urge to run. I've never ridden the subway, have no idea if I'll even be able to find this store she's talking about. Thirty-fourth Street sounds very vague by way of directions, especially since everything is so huge in this city. But I just want to get out of here.

It takes me awhile to find the subway, longer still to find the A train in the stuffy, humid, smelly underground tunnels. Why anyone would want to travel like this is beyond me, but a whole lotta people do. As in, there are more people down here in the subway station than I've ever seen in one place, except maybe during a parade back home.

The train rattles and shakes, the lights flickering on and off. We stop twice before I realize I'm probably on the wrong one, since the street numbers are going up instead of down. The doors just closed on 125th Street, so the next one should be 134th, I figure out after studying the blue line over the doors. But the train is picking up speed, going faster and faster. A station comes into view, but we're not stopping. My heart's fluttering in my chest. That a big man, wearing a pair of very dirty blue jeans, sitting a few seats down from me, is staring at me with a lewd look in his eyes isn't helping.

I actually breathe a sigh of relief as the train finally begins to slow down, and lunge for the door as soon as it opens. I'm on 145th Street now. Whatever that means. I'm such a dumb idiot for getting on the wrong train and not realizing it sooner.

The station I'm in is tiny compared to the one where I got on. It's also darker and much smellier. I follow the few people that got off too up a narrow set of stairs, and then I'm outside, the bright sunshine blinding me.

"Are you lost, girl?" The man who was eyeing me on the train is standing in front of me. I didn't even notice him get off the train.

"Ummm, no," I lie. A car passes at breakneck speed, causing a yellowed newspaper page to flutter up from the gutter and wrap itself around my calf. The streets here are much dirtier and narrower than the ones I walked down this morning. The people are not dressed as nicely either.

"You sure? You look lost to me," the man won't let up. "Come with me, I'll show you the way."

He adjusts his cock in his pants as he says it, barking a harsh laugh. Fear is paralyzing me, even though my whole mind is screaming at me to run. Somehow I manage to convince my body to do just that. But I have no idea where I should be going, where I am, whether I'll even ever get out of this place alive.

I look for a store, a restaurant, anything, as I run. But all the buildings with signs over them have the windows boarded up.

"Where's the hurry, girl? Stay a while!" the man yells after me, and I hear him huffing as he follows.

He's only a few paces behind me, and I can't run any faster. I scream as he grabs my arm and pulls me toward him. Somehow I manage to wriggle free. I run down the street as fast as I can, faster than I've ever run. Heads are turning, and people are shouting after me, but I can't hear a single word.

Finally, I spot a convenience store on the far corner and it seems to be open. I run faster, afraid to look back to see if the man is still following me.

"Please, do you have a phone I can use?" I yell at the lady behind the counter as I rush through the door.

I must look like a total mess, but she just stares at me coolly, her mouth slightly open revealing several gaps between her teeth.

"Please, it's an emergency!"

She reaches under the counter and pulls out a mobile phone. "But make it quick."

I drop Eric's business card twice before I finally manage to dial the number.

"Hello, how may I help you?" a woman on the other line asks.

"I need to speak to Eric Worthington, please."

"He's in a meeting. Can I take a message?"

"Please, it's urgent. This is Joy Carvallas, I'm lost."

I sound so desperate even the lady behind the counter is staring at me with pity in her eyes.

"Please," I repeat, since the woman has now fallen silent.

"Alright, I'll put you through to his mobile."

"Thank you," I say, but the phone is already ringing again.

"Yes?" Eric's voice finally comes on, brimming with annoyance.

"It's me, Joy, I'm lost. I took the wrong train and now I don't know where I am, and this guy is following me, and he wants to take me somewhere, and he's right outside the door and I'm afraid to go out again—"

"Slow down. Where are you?"

"I don't know, some store on—"

"Lola's Deli," the lady behind the counter says. "On Convent and 147th."

I repeat that to Eric, hoping it means more to him than it does to me.

"What the fuck are you doing there?" Eric asks. "Alright, just stay there, I'll send someone to pick you up. And try not to get killed."

He hangs up right after, and I'm shaking. What did he mean? Get killed?

"All done now?" the lady asks, stretching out her hand to take the mobile phone back. I return it automatically. "You can wait here with me where it's safe."

She lets out the most jarring laugh I've ever heard, and I start shaking even harder.

"Get a soda," she says in a kinder voice. "You need some sugar in you for the shock."

I do as she says, but then drink it too fast, the bubbles scratching my throat so hard I start coughing. The lady just shakes her head.

"How much do I owe you?" I manage to say between coughs.

"It's on me."

Time seems to be moving very slowly, but at least the man who followed me here is gone. I think.

"Eric!" I yell as he enters the store, trip and almost fall as I run to him.

"You OK?" he asks, frowning at me before pulling me into a hug. And I am now that his arms are around me, and he's leading me out of the store to his car.