Saint-Tropez had been exactly what Robert thought he needed. From the moment he met Jade at Club Infinity, he was never once sober. It was alcohol and pot and the occasional ecstasy. They fucked in the penthouse, in the plane, in the limo from the airport, in the hotel. When Jade got tired, she had model friends she invited to the hotel suite, and they took care of Robert while she watched.
They had parties in the suite that lasted the whole night and well into the next day when the crowd pulled out swimsuits and jumped in the private pool twenty floors up on the balcony off their suite. They went to parties in mansions owned by famous writers and the children of dictators. The life just kept moving—Robert did not need to think at all, and that was exactly what he needed. Unthinking movement in a drink- and drug-filled daze. His ordinary life, as it was.
A week passed and then another, and still he saw no reason to leave. The weather was good. Jade canceled her job for Fashion Week in Paris. She’d do it next year, she told her agent losing her mind on the other end of the phone. She hung up on her and went back to sucking Robert’s cock.
By the third week, Jade’s agent physically came to Saint-Tropez and collected her. She was led out of the suite, and Robert waved her goodbye. He would need to find another Jade, he thought. But he was quite up to it. Instead he fell asleep.
Robert slept for two days, and when he woke up, feeling horrible as would be expected, he couldn’t believe that he was back to all of this again. To this life he knew he did not want. He was disappointed in himself. He knew if his parents were still alive, they would have been disappointed in him too.
He took two days to recover enough to know he needed to get back to Chicago. He needed to get back to Chicago and to Debra. Debra would know what to do. Debra always knew how to help; he just needed to ask the right questions. He needed to explain everything to her. Debra would help him sort out his problem, he knew it.
***
“SIR, HAPPY TO SEE YOU have returned. I hope you enjoyed Saint-Tropez,” Debra said when she met him at the penthouse in Chicago.
“Not really,” Robert said. “Once I got there, I couldn’t quite remember why I was there.”
“Oh... yes...” She took his suitcase.
“I need your help, Debra,” Robert said.
“Of course, sir. What can I do for you?”
Debra had been his parents’ PA for the ten years before they died. She was devoted to Robert’s parents, and she was equally devoted to him. She had known him since he was just a young teenage boy. At the time, Debra always wore her hair down and Robert thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He once told her he intended to marry her, though she was twenty some years older than him.
She laughed and said, “Don’t worry about all that just yet. The right woman will come along for you and you’ll know it. You’re going to be an important man; you need to work on learning how to be someone just like your parents. Someone people can respect and admire. For now, you work on that, and everything else will sort itself out.”
It sounded so easy when she said it all those years ago. He had thought he had lots of time to learn everything he needed from his parents, but unfortunately he hadn’t. After the crash, Debra tried to guide him, but he would not listen, and she would never step beyond her role as an employee. She cared about him quite a bit, likely even loved him, but she could not force him to do what was right unless he asked for her help.
So when he asked that the plane be prepared for a trip to Saint-Tropez, Debra made sure it was prepared. She made sure that the hotel suite was booked and paid for. She made sure the fridges there were well stocked. She had his bags packed and his passport ready. She was so efficient, it appeared that she was not even there. But she was, and it seemed to Robert as if she always had been there. Somewhere flying across the Atlantic, he’d had an epiphany. Debra was the most important person in his life—how had he never realized that? Without her, his life would have been a complete wreck. Despite his active work toward disorder, she maintained his life in an orderly fashion. If she could do that, he suspected she could do nearly anything.
“Debra, there’s this woman I need you to find...” Robert started.
“Do you mean Ms. Davidson?”
Robert was surprised. “Yes... Kim Davidson.”
“I’ll get on it, sir.” Debra turned to leave.
“No, wait. I... I want you to understand something.” He went to the window seat and indicated that Debra should sit down too. “You see, she’s very special. I’m lost, more lost than ever since I met her. This, all of this, this penthouse, the trips, the partying, my entire life nearly, seems so meaningless. Kim is different, she’s special. And I need her in my life, I know that now more than ever. But she’s afraid of me, afraid of this life I have. She’s afraid it might swallow her whole. But I can’t let that happen. I love her too much. We must find her, and we need to figure out a way to get her to see, to get her to understand, that I truly love her and that we belong together.”
“I understand, sir.” Debra smiled knowingly.
“We need to find her, but if she knows it’s me she’ll just disappear again. We need a better plan. And we must include her mother and her son. I want to get to know them too; I want her to see that I want the whole thing. I want her and her family to be part of me, to be my family and me to be part of theirs. I love her, Debra, I really, really love her, and it has got to work this time.”
Debra patted his hand resting on the cushion. “I know, Robert. Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of it.”
She left the penthouse, and Robert knew she would. Debra would find Kim and bring her to him, and they would find a way to make their life together work. She had to be successful; Robert had no other options now.