The pattern of Skylar’s blanket burned into her eyes. They burned, period, because it had been so long since she’d blinked. She’d been lost in thought, picking at the black-and-white contrast of the Native American pattern, tracing each triangle and curve with the tip of her finger. She’d lain in her room for what seemed like forever, yet nothing felt concrete. Like she was just wasting away and unsure of how to handle the situation.
How could this big a decision be left on her shoulders? Why did she have to forgive them for something that should have never happened? The universe sure had a plan for her, and it seemed like it was rife with pain and suffering. Skylar sighed, turning onto her back to look at the ceiling, and grabbed her phone from next to her.
“Hello?” The familiar voice chirped into the phone, surrounded by the sound of voices in the background. Skylar closed her eyes against the tears and relief.
“Reggie, it’s Sky.”
“Sky! Oh, my God!” Reggie squealed, and Skylar let out a laugh at the excitement in her best friend’s voice. Her human friend, who lived a simple life free of Shifter problems. “You bitch! It’s been almost a month!”
“I know,” Skylar groaned into the phone. “I’m sorry. Things have been a little crazy.”
“Hold on a second, guys. I got a phone call,” Reggie said away from the phone. “Where are you at?” she whispered, the noise behind her getting quieter. Sunday evening, and Reggie was probably visiting family.
Skylar sighed. “You know I can’t tell you that.”
Reggie clicked her tongue. It was an annoying habit of hers when she was disappointed, like an old grandma scolding a child. But she didn’t say anything about it, and that was a relief. “Your dad came to my house.”
Skylar shot up in bed, shoving her hair back from her face. “What? When?” Jon wasn’t even supposed to know about Reggie. Somebody in the pack must have squealed on who she hung out with from school.
“Not long after you disappeared. I didn’t even know you’d left, so I obviously couldn’t tell him anything.” Reggie’s voice sounded flat with disappointment. Of course she was mad Skylar didn’t tell her, but Skylar hadn’t really known either.
“Did he…do anything?” Reggie was a human. A stubborn, strong-willed, and mouthy human who probably snapped at Jon the minute he said who he was. She could imagine how her Alpha would have reacted to such a rude female. Reggie didn’t know what they were, but she knew about Jon’s beatings.
“No.” Reggie sighed into the phone, and Skylar could hear the quiet smack of her gum. “He was pretty fucking pissed, Sky. What did you do to him before you left?”
“Just stole his secret stash of money,” Skylar said, relief allowing her to lean back against the pillows. At least he hadn’t done anything to her. Reggie laughed, letting out a small snort at the end that caused Skylar to smile.
“Listen, hon. He was a man ready to wrestle with the wolves, if ya know what I’m sayin’. You sure you’re far enough away from us?”
“God, I hope so, Reggie.” Skylar looked at the ceiling, trying to shove the tears that threatened to spill back down where they belonged. “I couldn’t do it anymore. Not with Emery. I’m so sorry.”
“I know, sweetie. Well, when you think it’s all clear, you’ll tell me where you’re at?”
“Of course. I miss you, Reg.”
“Miss you too, hon,” Reggie said quietly. Silence followed, but Skylar wasn’t ready to hang up. Reggie was her only real friend, someone who only knew the Skylar who wasn’t a Shifter. To Reggie, Skylar was just a girl who lived a hard life with an evil father. But at this moment all Skylar wanted to do was pour her heart out. To tell her about her sister’s murder, to be comforted by someone who wasn’t as new to her as Cat.
A short knock sounded at the door before it swung open. Jamie’s head peeked around it, his green eyes swimming with apology. “Can I come in?”
Skylar closed her eyes against his image. She wanted to talk to him, but at the same time didn’t. A man she’d shared her bed with, multiple times, and who had just crushed her world. But after Cat’s story and knowing the truth behind it, Skylar’s heart couldn’t deny the man who desperately sought her out.
“Oooh! I hear a guy!” Reggie shouted in her ear. Skylar winced, having forgotten about the other person on the line.
“Reg, I gotta go.”
“You bitch! You better tell me—” Reggie protested, and Skylar held the phone away from her ear.
“Love you!” Skylar shouted, hitting the red button with her finger, effectively shutting off what she knew was coming. An angry rant from a girl who could go on for hours.
Skylar nodded at Jamie and patted the bed next to her. “Come on in, Jamie.”
He sidestepped into the room, his body taking up the rest of the tiny space. He left the door open and eyed the spot next to her on the bed awkwardly. He cleared his throat, tucking his hands into his pockets. God, that simple move was already melting her heart. Jamie was confident, always. Except for right then, standing in front of her like a child who broke his mother’s favorite picture frame. But this was so much more than an object that could be glued together. He opened his mouth several times before his eyebrows screwed together and he looked her in the eyes. Uncertainty, pain, and longing alternated rapidly on his face, reaching out to her already fragile heart.
“Cat already told me what happened,” Skylar said for him, breaking the silence.
He nodded and looked at his feet. “Yeah, she wouldn’t let me come first. Said she needed to tell you.”
Well, that shocked her. She had figured Jamie couldn’t handle it, ran away at the first sign of trouble. But Cat had made him stay. Probably for the best, too, because Skylar wasn’t so sure she would have listened to anything Jamie had to say in that moment. He was too close. Every word would only cut the wounds deeper. The betrayal and devastation would have burst from her, instead of maintaining the low simmer it had been since Cat had visited. It was a loud hum in her mind instead of a raging inferno.
“So, why are you here, Jamie?”
He looked up at her again and blinked slowly before he took a step forward. He moved with purpose, bringing his hands forward in front of him, palms up.
“I needed to talk to you about Lia.”
The name made her wince. Skylar rubbed her eyes. They felt like sandpaper had been glued underneath her eyelids, and each rub only brought on more tears. “Jamie, you really don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do,” he interrupted, sitting on the edge of the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, then rested his chin on his knuckles, leaning over. “Please? Let me say it.”
She didn’t want to hear anymore about Lia. She didn’t want the connection constantly shoved in her face, looking into the eyes she had seen filled with pleasure now filled with pain and regret. But she nodded because it was the right thing to do. Because he needed to get it off his chest, and in a way she needed to know what his point of view on it was.
“Lia was a good friend,” he began, his voice heavy and gruff. “Maybe not at the end, and not when she was being annoying over Killian, but overall, she was a good person. I wasn’t there when it happened. I was home with Mia. But I can tell you this.” He reached one hand over, hesitating near Skylar’s. When she didn’t pull away, he gripped her fingers. Like she would run if he didn’t hold on for dear life. “Killian wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t have to. He’s not cruel or unforgiving. I know you think that maybe we’re like your other pack—that we just murder at the first step out of line. But that’s not what this was. You need to know that her betrayal, her death, hurt us. Deeply.”
How did he do that? Look at her and know exactly how she was feeling, what she was thinking? What she needed to hear? The words washed over her soul, soothing the burn. He brushed a hand across her cheek, catching a tear with his thumb. He watched her, and she knew what he wanted her to say. Truthfully, she probably couldn’t have left. Even when she hated him, she loved him. She had tried denying it, brushing it off as affection, but now, looking at him in her weak state, she knew. She loved Jamie even as the crippling reality of her sister’s death threatened to destroy her. How fucked up was that?
“Thank you for telling me.”
He smiled, the corners of his lips shaking as he continued to stare. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice laced with agony.
She shook her head even as the dam broke. The sobs tore through her like a serrated knife. God, she was so done with crying, but it felt like as soon as she started she couldn’t stop. He pulled her close, dragging her halfway across the bed into his embrace. He smelled amazing, and she snuggled into his shoulder, taking in his comfort. The comfort she had really needed.
“Please tell me you’re staying.” His breath puffed against her hair with the words.
“For now,” she said, though she knew that if they could, they would stay forever. As long as it meant Jamie held her, kissed her, and gave her the hope to keep going.
* * * *
When Skylar walked out of the room with Jamie, she wasn’t surprised by Killian’s presence in her living room. He sat on her couch, his hands clenched beneath his chin, staring off in deep thought. His hair fell in a mess around his face, a sad evidence of the stress he’d gone through after the training incident.
In a way, Skylar felt horrible. He hadn’t asked for the trouble Skylar and Emery brought with them. If he’d never taken them in, he wouldn’t have a teenager with a hair-trigger wolf or the constant reminder of a time he’d rather not remember. Yet when she saw the Alpha, all she could picture was her sister’s blood on his hands.
“Killian,” Jamie said from next to her, his voice loud in the silent apartment. Emery’s door remained shut; it was completely silent on the other side of it.
Killian glanced their way and nodded in acknowledgment but remained sitting.
Jamie’s fingers trailed down Skylar’s spine, coming to a rest on her lower back. His palm flattened and nudged her toward the couch. Her heart thrummed, rich with pain from the fresh gash she’d received just moments before. Her vision darkened around the edges, narrowing in on the figure sitting on the couch.
Killian let out a long, slow breath. His back hunched over, and he shook his head. He looked defeated, upset, ashamed. Some sort of emotion that an Alpha should never have, at least not in front of his packmates.
“I don’t know what to say to you, Skylar.” His voice sounded rough, thick, garbled, covered by the hands in front of his face.
Jamie and Skylar both paused in front of him. Jamie’s hand carefully rubbed her back, trying to relax her stiff spine. She didn’t really know what to say to him either. She could shout insults, cry, scream, something. But instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and chose to take the silent route.
He turned to face her more fully, and the protection of his hair and hands slipped away. His expression had her resisting the urge to gasp in surprise. His eyes were narrowed but swam with a mixture of anger and sadness. His eyebrows lowered, creating a large crease in the middle of his forehead. He unclasped his hands, only to clench them together again.
“I can’t—I won’t—apologize for killing her, Skylar,” he continued. “Lia tried to kill Cat, the woman I love…my mate.”
Skylar nodded and swallowed the tears clogging her throat. “I know. Cat told me. You were doing what any other person would have done.”
Killian’s body sagged with relief. She couldn’t blame him for protecting his pack. But Lia was family to her; she hadn’t seen the evil side, hadn’t seen the utter betrayal. So it still stung like a bitch. The Alpha slowly stood until he faced Skylar. He gripped her shoulders with both of his excessively large hands.
“What I can apologize for is that she was your sister. I’m sorry that you have to feel that pain, that Emery does too.” He sighed and released her, his hands hanging limp at his sides. “It’s just kind of a fucked-up situation overall.”
Skylar’s laugh was anything but funny. It echoed in the room, carrying the sadness and pain in its rough edges even after it was over. A fucked-up situation? That was the understatement of the century. Hanging in place of her laugh was a heavy and stifling silence. They had nothing more to say. Skylar couldn’t fully come to terms with the death of her sister, and Killian wasn’t going to regret it. It was a stalemate.
Killian must have realized it because he cleared his throat and backed away. “About Emery…”
Skylar’s back straightened even further at the mention of her sister’s name. She looked quickly at Jamie, but his expression gave nothing away. All he did was nod at her, silently telling her to keep listening. His hand at her back continued to stroke, his form of comfort in front of his Alpha. He couldn’t do much more, and Skylar understood. But the fear of rejection and being turned away from the pack burned like acid in her throat.
“She would never have done that on purpose, Killian.” Skylar wanted to beg him to understand, but her pride wouldn’t let her stoop so low.
“I know. But it doesn’t change the fact that she did.” Golden eyes stared into hers with determination. “She’ll need to start training with me. I know she has school, and I won’t get in the way of that unless she becomes dangerous. But from what I can tell, you are her trigger. She needs to learn to control her wolf under pressure and anxiety.”
Skylar zoned out, her blood buzzing in her ears. They weren’t making her leave. It hadn’t even been an hour since she’d been about ready to run away, but the thought of them banishing her had left a burned taste in her mouth. The words coming out of Killian’s mouth were not the ones she’d thought were coming. You’re a liability. We can’t have you here. You’re a danger to the pack.
“You’re not making us leave,” she whispered, her voice sounding muffled in her ears, barely reaching past the buzzing.
Killian’s mouth stopped moving, and his head tilted back in shock. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Of course not. We don’t abandon our family.”
The words shot straight to her heart, an arrow piercing the cold steel wall that barricaded her from feeling for the pack. She bit her lip, willing the tears to not fall.
“She’ll be there. Name a time after school or on the weekends, and she’ll come.”
Killian looked at Jamie as if he held some answer to Skylar’s reaction. She probably seemed unstable, screaming and yelling one minute, close to crying the next. But that was exactly how she felt. She wanted to stay, to have a hope with these people, but at the same time seeing them reminded her that her sister was dead. That she would never see Lia laugh again.
Warm fingers laced with hers, and she looked up at Jamie. His lips curved into a small smile, and his eyes shone with contentment. Was it because she was staying? Because she was willing to work things out with the pack, even knowing what had happened?
Killian moved toward the stairs. “Have her come over on Wednesday after school. I’ll be at my house, and we’ll figure it out, Skylar.” He faced her one more time. “I’m going to try not to hurt her. But I might need to put her under a lot of stress and pressure. Cat will be there to help, though, so she’ll be in good hands. I promise.”
With a quick nod toward Jamie, Killian walked down the stairs. It wasn’t until the door shut behind him that Skylar turned against Jamie’s chest and let herself breathe. Relief and sadness simultaneously coursed through her.
They could stay. And to them, that meant everything.