Julian cut the engine of his car when we pulled up in front of the Caraway Inn. I stared at the house, looking for any indication of what was happening behind its closed doors. Everything appeared calm. Normal. As though there wasn’t a newly transitioned vampire somewhere within its walls.

It was funny how looks could be so damn deceiving, especially in the supernatural world.

Benji had been here the entire time. Ridley had wanted him close. Besides, with the Montevallos helping to find their brother and the rotations the pack were placed on, Benji being at the Caraways’ had seemed like the best idea. At least someone would always be with him.

“Are you ready for this? I know you and Benji were close. I can sense how anxiety-ridden you are right now,” Julian said.

I was over the whole empathic thing. It was becoming a privacy issue at this point between him and Eli always knowing what I was feeling.

“We are close. Not were. He survived and is alive. Sort of,” I said.

“Right. Sorry.”

“And, yeah. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” I gripped the passenger door handle and popped it open.

My lungs pulled in a deep, greedy breath. After I exhaled, I slipped out of Julian’s car.

Regardless of what I saw once I stepped inside the house, I knew I had to remain calm. Freaking out wasn’t going to make the situation any better. I needed to be calm for Ridley too. As hard as it might be for me to see the new Benji, I knew it had to be ten times harder for her.

I wondered how she was handling everything. She’d been the one who agreed to allow Benji to be turned. I knew all about the level of guilt that came with a decision like that. I knew about the worries that crept into your mind and took over. I’d been there. My situation had turned out okay, and I hoped Ridley’s did too.

My palms grew clammy as Julian and I neared the house. Before either of us reached the first step to the porch, the front door opened. Rowena Caraway peeked out. Her eyes seemed glazed over and wild-looking. Her hair was a mess, and her face was free of makeup. It was the first time I’d ever witnessed her look so rumpled.

The night at the Pendergrass farm came flooding back. She’d looked distraught then, but it had been because of her concern for Ridley. What I saw on her face now wasn’t concern or worry—it was fear.

Was she afraid of Benji? Was he freaking out in regards to what he’d become? I imagined he was, but was he being violent?

My throat grew dry. If Rowena looked this bad, then how was Ridley doing?

My feet faltered. Did I want to step inside the house? Did I want to see a completely different version of my friend? Was I strong enough to pretend it didn’t faze me if that was the case?

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Rowena whispered. Her voice quivered when she spoke. It amped up my anxiety tenfold. Whatever was happening with Benji couldn’t be good.

“Where is he?” Julian asked. His tone was low like hers, but it was firm and in control.

Rowena stepped out onto the porch and closed the front door behind her. Her arms folded over her chest.

“In the attic. I’m glad we placed him there because when he woke he went into a blind rage.” She blinked rapidly as though fighting against the memory or quite possibly tears. It was hard to tell. “He seemed to be reliving the moment he was attacked by Roman. I didn’t know if we would be able to calm him down. Thankfully, I’d placed a cloak up from Jasper Ward to keep my guests from hearing noises in the attic. That being said, I’m not sure how much longer my crystals will stand up against his strength. He wants out of that room, but I’m afraid he’ll hurt someone if he escapes.”

My heartbeat grew sluggish as her words replayed in my mind. I couldn’t begin to imagine how scared Benji was when he woke thinking he was still back at the farm with Roman tearing into his throat.

“Is Ridley okay?” I asked.

Rowena shook her head. “No. I tried talking to her, but I can tell she doesn’t hear a word. Seeing him so hysterical caused her to shut down.”

An ache for her built in my chest.

“Where is she? Can I talk to her?” I stepped forward.

“She’s just inside the door.” Rowena motioned for me to head inside the house.

“Take me to the attic. Let me talk to Benji,” Julian insisted. “Maybe I’ll be able to calm him.”

“How do you plan to do that?” Rowena asked. I continued up the porch steps and slipped past her.

When I cracked the front door open, Ridley was perched on the bottom step of the staircase leading to the second floor. Her eyes were unfocused and her face pale. She looked like a hot mess. My heart bled for her.

“Hey,” I said, but she didn’t seem to hear me. “You okay?” The words came from my mouth automatically, even though it was clear from one look at her she wasn’t okay. She was far from it, actually.

I crept to her. She didn’t move.

“I’ll explain what’s happened to him. Focus on what he’s feeling,” Julian said. He and Rowena stepped inside. “He’s most likely confused and scared. He needs to understand what he is now. What he’s feeling and why. While he might be awake, that doesn’t mean he’s completed the transition. He has to feed first. Did you give him the bags of blood I had Ivette bring over?”

“I did. I left them in the room with him,” Rowena said.

“Good. Has he tried one yet? The scent should have called to him.”

“I’m not sure.”

“He hates me,” Ridley whispered.

I placed a hand on hers. “He doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t understand what’s happened. Like Julian said, he’s confused.”

“No.” Her eyes lifted to mine. Guilt and pain radiated from her. “He hates me. You didn’t see the way he looked at me. I swear he wanted to kill me, Mina.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“He’s not himself right now,” Julian insisted. He crossed to where Ridley and I sat on the bottom step. I watched as he knelt down in front of her. “When a vampire first wakes, they’re disoriented, distraught, and plagued by the memories of their death, especially if it was brought on by a traumatic event. It plays on repeat, making them think they’re reliving it. They wake in fight or flight mode. Combine that with heightened senses and an insatiable hunger for blood, and it makes for the perfect cocktail of rage.”

My stomach flip-flopped. That sounded awful. I hated that Benji was going through it.

“So when I say he doesn’t hate you, I mean it. He just needs time,” Julian said. “He needs to be told what’s happened to him and to decompress. Think you can give him a little time for those things to happen?”

Ridley adjusted her glasses. “Yeah.”

Julian patted her on the knee before standing. “I should head upstairs and see what I can do to help calm him down and get the Benji you know and love back.” His attention shifted to Rowena. “Care to take me to the attic?”

“Absolutely. Right this way.”

Ridley and I moved aside so the two of them could ascend the stairs. We didn’t follow. Instead, we remained at the base of the stairs. Neither of us spoke. I listened for noises coming from the attic, but the cloak Rowena got from the Ward witches must have been working well because I heard nothing. In fact, the entire inn was eerily quiet. Weren’t there guests staying here? Rowena had said she feared one of them would be hurt if Benji escaped her crystal barrier. Did that mean she’d sent them elsewhere?

“Do you want some tea?” Ridley surprised me by asking.

“Uh, sure.”

She headed to the kitchen and I followed.

The last time I’d been in her kitchen, Eli was telling Rowena his dad had been killed and warned her of the message left on his arm. Now I was here while my friend learned he’d died and then transitioned into a vampire.

Would I ever sit in this kitchen with good news lifting me up instead of bad news pressing me down?

I watched as Ridley went about making us both tea. Once she was finished, she passed me a mug and sat on the barstool beside me. She took a sip and fixed her eyes on me.

“Do you think what Julian said is true?” she asked.

“Which part?”

“The part about Benji being back to his normal self after he’s completed the transition and been told what happened.”

I tucked my hair behind my ear. “I think so. I mean, it makes sense.”

While I didn’t want to give her false hope, I didn’t want to cut what little hope she had to shreds either. I had to be careful with my words.

“Yeah, it does.” Her gaze dipped to her tea. She took another sip and shifted around on her stool. “I want to see what’s happening upstairs.”

“Are you sure?” Wouldn’t it be best if we waited for Julian or Rowena to come down and tell us how things were going? That way she didn’t have to see it firsthand again, in case things weren’t going well.

Ignorance was bliss after all, right?

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Ridley nodded. She set her mug on the counter. “Hopefully Julian has been able to get through to him. Maybe he understands why I did what I did and accepts it. I know it’s a long shot, but I’m hopeful.”

I understood where she was coming from. It was how I hoped Eli felt about my decision when I’d told Julian to give him his blood to heal him.

“Benji will understand.” My words held conviction within them because I believed them wholeheartedly. Once Benji was back to his normal self, he would understand why she’d done it. However, who knew how long it would take him to get back to normal? Ridley released a breath and I placed a hand on her shoulder. “He would have done the same for you if the situation were reversed.”

No truer words had ever been spoken. Benji loved Ridley. He’d do anything in his power to save her life, even risk turning her into a vampire without her consent. I knew this. And, Ridley needed to as well.

“Thank you.” She flashed me a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too.” I was. I’d have to thank Eli again for pushing me to be there for her. “Come on, let’s head upstairs and make sure that boyfriend of yours is all right.”

Ridley inhaled a deep breath before slipping off her stool. “Okay.”