I sent out a silent prayer to the goddess of the moon as we climbed the stairs, asking that Benji be okay. My heart hammered against my chest, and even my wolf seemed out of sorts from the worry flickering through me.

Ridley’s feet faltered at the top of the steps. Neither Julian nor Benji were in our line of sight, but Rowena was. She stood, leaning against the frame of the attic door. Her body blocked our view inside. Maybe that was a good thing. Ridley seemed to need another second to prepare and so did I.

Rowena glanced over her shoulder at us. Her eyes fell to Ridley and remained. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Ridley said. “Is Benji okay now?”

“I think he will be. He’s not as crazed as when he first woke. Julian has explained some things to him.”

The tension squeezing at my muscles loosened. Maybe this meant the old Benji wasn’t too far away.

“Can I see him, or would it be better if I waited until he’s adjusted more?” Ridley asked.

Julian appeared behind Rowena. He said something, but his words were eaten by the cloak. At the confusion on our faces, he took a step forward and entered the landing with us.

“Sorry, I forgot about the cloak for a moment. I said he’s asking for you.” Julian nodded to Ridley. “I’ve explained everything to him. He’s aware of what happened at the Pendergrass farm and what he is now. While he’s still shaken, I was able to get him to drink a bag of blood.”

“Does that mean his transition is complete now?” I asked.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean he’s stable yet. Things look and sound different to him. His senses are hypersensitive right now.”

Basically, he wasn’t in control yet is what Julian was saying and to be careful. At least that’s what I gathered.

“Is he upset with me?” Ridley asked.

Julian shook his head. “He understands why you did it. I explained the state he was in after my brother attacked him and reiterated that he would have died otherwise.”

“Okay, good.”

“Like I said, he wants to see you. Think you’ll be able to handle it?” Julian asked.

Ridley nodded and then followed him into the attic, stepping over Rowena’s crystals. I leaned against the doorframe opposite Rowena and glanced at the crystals lining the floor there. They were made of various colors, sizes, and textures. While I had no idea what each was called or what they stood for, I did know they were there for protection.

Movement in the depths of the attic captured my attention. I glanced up and spotted Benji for the first time. His lips were moving. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I didn’t need to. It was clear from the look on his face it was something about him being excited to see Ridley.

What they had together hadn’t been broken because of Benji stepping into the supernatural world; it had only been bent into something new.

This made me happy.

I skimmed Benji, looking for any differences in him. The blood that had coated his mouth and neck from back at the Pendergrass farm had been cleaned away. He wore a gray T-shirt and a pair of crisp dark-washed jeans that looked brand new. His bottom lip was free of dip and he looked happy.

But, there was an unfamiliar air about him.

It was to be expected considering the change he’d gone through, but it still had me staring. He looked physically the same, but I could sense the vampire in him. It was strange.

Ridley inched toward him. I could see his face but not hers. The muscles in his body and face seemed to relax at the sight of her. Ridley said something, and he shook with laughter.

I moved to step into the room, but Rowena placed a hand on my arm.

“Give them a little more time,” she said.

I nodded and remained where I was. When Ridley was a few feet away from Benji something in his expression changed. The glimmer of excitement in his eyes dulled and the muscles of his face grew tense again. My wolf noticed it as well and went on high alert.

“Stop!” The word fell from my mouth as unease crept along my spine, sending the fine hairs across my body standing on end. “Ridley, stop!”

She didn’t stop because she couldn’t hear me.

“What? What is it?” Rowena asked. Panic hung in her words.

Couldn’t she see what I did? The change in Benji’s demeanor? How tense he suddenly was?

“Benji,” I said. “He’s going to attack.”

I stepped over the crystals and into the room. My eyes never moved from Benji. Darkness had clouded his eyes, and any trace of love or compassion for Ridley had melted away.

He was like a hunter watching its prey.

“Ridley,” I whispered.

She froze. I knew it was because she’d caught on to the change in his features.

What happened next happened so fast I was barely able to process it.

Benji lunged at Ridley with his fangs exposed and an expression of pure evil reflected in his eyes. Julian grabbed hold of him, hindering him from reaching her. He struggled against Julian’s hold, but Julian was able to shove Benji into a nearby chair and restrain him. Rowena rushed into the room behind me, tripping over one of her crystals and knocking it out of place. I watched as it rolled across the hardwood floor of the attic.

“You don’t want to do that, Benji. You don’t want to hurt her,” Julian insisted, snapping my attention back to Benji. Julian’s hands were still on him, securing him in place. “You have to fight what you’re feeling. Know that you’re stronger than your hunger. Believe it. And breathe. Breathe through this moment while trying to think of something else. That’s the only tip I can give for holding on to who you are. You have to learn to fight against the hunger if you want to remain you.”

I moved to Ridley. Instinctively I pulled her behind me, creating more distance between her and Benji. My wolf growled and snapped at him. She was confused as to who to protect—Ridley or Benji from himself.

“It’s not workin’,” Benji said. His voice was caught somewhere between a plea and a raw form of desperation I’d never heard from him before. “All I can smell is their blood. All I can hear is their hearts poundin’. And, I’m so hungry.”

When his eyes lifted to mine, I no longer saw my friend. Instead, I saw a monster. He bucked against Julian, and I forced Ridley to take a step back, positioning us closer to the door.

“Focus on me,” Julian insisted. “Look at me. Don’t focus on anything else. Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do this. You can take back control.”

Benji’s breath shook as it pushed past his lips—past his fangs. His eyes were dark still, reminding me of every other vampire I’d ever seen lost to bloodlust. It was unsettling.

“It’s still not workin’.” His hands came to cradle his head, and his body trembled with pent-up energy as he tried to win against the internal demon he battled. “Their heartbeats are magnified. All I can hear is blood rushin’ through their veins. It’s like it’s callin’ to me. Beggin’ me to taste it,” Benji snarled.

A gut-wrenching growl of frustration spurred from somewhere deep inside of him, and I took another step back, forcing Ridley to do the same. The closer to the door we were, the better.

Benji pressed his thumbs to his fangs. “Why won’t these things go away? They hurt so frickin’ bad!” Another yell of frustration spurred from him.

A lump formed in my throat. I hated seeing him this way. Guilt reared its ugly head inside of me as I thought of how I’d helped twist his fate and led him here. If I’d told him to stay in the field the day I came to him for an object of Ridley’s for Arturo’s spell maybe he wouldn’t be fighting against a hunger so strong it had him wanting to drain us.

“They will retract,” Julian insisted. His voice calm and assertive. “When you relax. You’ll learn to control them. You’ll learn to control it all. I’ll teach you. I promise. Watch me right now. Look.”

From my viewpoint, I could see both of their profiles. I watched as Julian showed Benji how easily he could tap into his bloodlust as well, causing his fangs to descend and his eyes to darken. I held my breath as Julian began breathing deep. My wolf’s fur bristled, and she quickened her pacing. She wanted me to get out of the attic. Two vampires lost to bloodlust was one too many for her, friend or not.

After a few breaths, the color of Julian’s eyes returned to their usual color and his fangs retracted.

“See,” he insisted once he’d gained control over himself. “All you have to do is breathe and focus. That’s how you stay in control. It’s like a muscle. After you’ve worked it long enough, it becomes easier to do. Just like anything else, it takes time.”

Benji let out a slow breath and closed his eyes. Minutes ticked away. Before long, his fangs retracted, and when he opened his eyes again, they were no longer black. My wolf stopped pacing. She still watched him closely though.

“I’m so sorry if I scared you,” Benji whispered. His words were directed to Ridley. “I didn’t mean to. I’m just not sure how to keep hold of who I am yet or who I was. There’s this other thing inside me tryin’ to get out and take over. And, it’s powerful, babe.”

“I’m sorry.” Ridley stepped around me and walked to Benji. Her movements were slow, careful, and hesitant. I could see sadness pooling in Benji’s eyes because of it. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him, that much was clear, but he didn’t seem to blame her for it either. “I shouldn’t have made this decision without you. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t lose you. The thought of you not being here scared me more than you hating me for having you turned.”

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I understand what you did and why you did it. Julian explained everythin’ to me. I know I was knockin’ on death’s door.” He paused and smoothed a hand through his hair. “You don’t have to apologize. If anything, I should be thankin’ you. You saved me, Ridley.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t save you. That’s not what this is.” She gestured to him. “I would never consider being turned into a vampire and going through what you have as being saved.”

Goose bumps prickled across my skin. Suddenly, it felt like I was imposing on a private conversation.

“Do I repulse you?” Benji asked.

My heart stilled. There was so much emotion wrapped in those four words.

Ridley didn’t hesitate in answering him. “No.”

I’d expected her to step forward, to touch him or show some sign of comfort to help better prove her words, but she didn’t. Instead, she remained where she was, which I was thankful for. Benji, even though he seemed all sweet right now, was still a loose cannon.

“Okay. So, would you consider datin’ one, then?” Benji asked. “A vampire, I mean. Even though I’m not alive or whatever.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean it like that,” Ridley insisted. She took another step forward. The hesitation that had been present in her movements before disappeared. When she reached him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug.

I held my breath and zeroed in on Benji’s face, searching for any shift in his features that might signify he was about to attack again. Nothing stood out at first, but then pain seemed to contort his facial features, and I swore I saw darkness creeping into the color of his eyes.

He was losing control. Again.

I stepped forward, but Julian held a hand out to stop me. My wolf urged me to ignore him and get to Ridley, but I pushed her away. I didn’t want to hurt Benji, but if he harmed Ridley, I knew I’d have no issue. While they were both my friends, my relationship with her had grown stronger than my relationship with him over the last few months.

A loud breath pushed past Benji’s lips as he squeezed Ridley against him. He opened his eyes. I expected to see darkness clouding the color but was surprised to find they were normal.

He’d gained control of himself. He’d done it.

“Okay.” Benji carefully gripped Ridley’s wrists and placed distance between them. “I think I’m startin’ to get the hang of this. It’s still tough, though. Can we keep some distance between us for right now? I don’t want to hurt you. Ever.”

Ridley took a few steps back. “Yeah, sure. Sorry.”

“Stop apologizin’ already. You have nothin’ to apologize for. I’ve already told you that,” Benji insisted.

“Right. So, what now?” Ridley asked not only Benji, but Julian and the rest of us as well.

“I’m still starved. I wasted half that bag,” Benji said. He nodded toward a bag of blood on the floor I’d missed before. “Could I get more?”

My stomach twisted at the sight of blood sprayed across the floor from it. Apparently, he hadn’t enjoyed his first taste.

I didn’t blame him. It had to take a little getting used to.

“I can make a call. I’ll have one of my sisters bring a few bags over so we can get your hunger sedated,” Julian insisted. “Then you should be able to leave the inn just fine.”

“Where will I—?”

Benji didn’t finish what he was saying. Instead, his head tipped to the side as he inhaled deeply. I noticed his eyes grow dark. His fangs descended next. Seconds later, he bolted from the attic in a blur.

The crystal Rowena had stumbled over was never replaced, which meant there was nothing keeping Benji confined to the attic.

“Shit,” Julian snapped. He darted after him.

Ridley ran out the door. “Benji!”

Once I stepped into the hall, I knew exactly what had garnered Benji’s attention.

The scent of blood. Lots of blood.