Chapter 10

Damien opened his eyes, he hadn’t realize he’d fallen asleep. Had it been a few minutes, or hours?

He couldn’t tell. The white noise provided by the waterfall, and the post sex mellowness brought both of them to slumber.

“Zoe,” he whispered to her, “we have to go now.”

She produced a complaining noise, slowly placing her hand on his mouth.

“Let’s stay here forever,” she mumbled.

Damien smiled, I wish we could, he thought. Then called her again, “Zoooooe.” She sat up, rubbing her eyes, trying to focus.

She looked at the waterfall, and sighed.

“I’m just dying to go back into the water,” she said.

“You sure? It’s probably cold by now.”

Zoe looked at him, almost rolling her eyes.

“It’s a joke, dummy,” she laughed.

“Hey, I’m still drowsy,” he said, making a noise as he stood up, stretching his big arms and lean body, “besides, that sex was too great, I think my mind still hasn’t come back from exploding.”

He gave her his hand, she took it and stood up beside him.

“Isn’t it too dark out there? Is it dangerous?” she asked.

Damien was rolling the blanket and putting it back on its container box.

“There’s a full moon tonight, you shouldn’t have a problem finding your way.”

He walked to her and kissed her forehead, “I’m going out first and will guide you, just in case, okay?”

She smiled and nodded.

“You ready?” he asked.

She took a deep sigh and followed him out.

Damien knew that the best way to deal with a problem was to straight up face it. The waterfall wasn’t going away and even if it was cold, there was no avoiding it. He pulled himself up to the edge of the water and then jumped ahead. He might have still been a little groggy before, but now, emerging from the cold water, he was completely awake, swimming in place waiting for her. And he waited... and waited.

“Zoe! The waterfall’s not going anywhere, you have to jump!”

“I’m just gathering strength!”

“You have to stop thinking and jump! I promise the bed on my cabin will be much cozier than here.”

“Okay, okay I’m doing it... I’m doing—!” she screamed as she jumped ahead and sank into the water.

“Oh my, oh my, oh my! It’s cooooold!” she said, her eyes fully open, finding him in the dim moonlight, “let’s go!”

He laughed, “all right, captain, let’s move.”

They swam back to the picnic area, Zoe shaking as she pulled herself out of the water.

“You know how when you come out of the pool it’s always colder than when you were inside?” she said.

Damien looked at her inquisitively, “yes.”

“Well this is not the case, it’s actually warmer out here in the open than in the water.”

He laughed and hugged her, giving her some of his warmth. His bear side never let him truly exposed to the elements, not even in human form, but he could see her shaking and wanted to do what he could.

“This is much better,” Zoe said, under him.

“You can use this while your clothes dry,” he said, handing her the picnic blanket.

“Thank you,” she said, drying herself with it, then wearing it over her shoulders like a cape, trying to get warm.

She held Damien’s hand as they walked beneath the trail beneath the trees—the only place where moonlight was completely blocked— and in the distance, Damien’s truck waited.

***

“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Zoe said as he opened the truck’s door for her.

“The pleasure was all mine,” he said faking a British accent. He got in on his side and off they went, back home.

“I never thought I’d meet someone like you when I left Detroit,” she said.

“That’s a good thing, right?” he joked and she smiled

“Well, it depends.”

“Really? On what?”

“On what happens now,” she said grinning. But then fell silent.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just a joke,” she said, placing her hand on his leg, “I know this won’t last, don’t worry.”

Mate! Now! his bear roared inside.

“I’ll just enjoy whatever this is for as long it lasts, let’s pretend I can stay here forever.”

He didn’t immediately respond. Yes, he had met her just a day or two ago, but— but she’s right. This won’t last, nothing good ever does.

“Is that what you want?” he caught himself asking.

She looked at him and held his hand. “I don’t know what I want. I know I wanted to flee the city and go to Portland... it took me a long time to finally gather the strength to do it.”

“Why did you want to leave? Was it so bad?”

“Detroit is Detroit.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning it’s a good place, I guess, but it wasn’t for me. My future was crumbling there and I couldn’t stay.”

“What about your family?”

“What family?”

“You don’t have anyone?”

“I had an abusive father who turned to the bottle as soon as he was let go of his job, who hit my mother and blamed her for everything: from not picking up his beer cans, to his inability to find a job, to me being a dumb accountant who couldn’t lend him enough money.”

His gut tightened, he thought she was a pillar of strength and here she was, vulnerable. Completely exposing her soul to him, letting him see her, really see her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, I’m sorry I asked, I didn’t know”

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay, I made my peace with all that. I just had to leave.”

“Is your mom okay? Do you need help?”

“My mom is dead, Damien. One day my father left and didn’t come back. It felt good, but we always had that lingering fear of seeing him again, drunk at the door, screaming for something. But he didn’t. After a few months we realized we were free. My mom started to smile again, she started to focus on other things, you could see she was relieved.”

Damien smiled.

“Then one day I come back and she can’t walk, ‘what happened?!’ I asked her, and she tells me her legs are numb. Some weeks later we find out she has ALS.”

The road ahead was dark, in the distance, clouds gathered and lightning flashed. Zoe’s eyes watered as she remembered.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this,” she said, “It was a great evening and I’m ruining it with all this baggage.”

“You couldn’t ruin our date if you tried,” he said, his hand on hers, “I know it’s hard, don’t feel bad for remembering. You helped her, you were with her.”

“I don’t feel bad, I promise I don’t... it’s just... she never got a break you know?” her voice was breaking, but no tears streamed down her face, she was holding them in. “Sometimes I wish I could go back and kill that man and set her free, I know it’s wrong but I wish, I—,” her voice trailed, her right hand wiping her tears before they came down.

“She was the one who told me, she knew me, knew what was best for me. She told me to leave, find a better place, move on, ‘look forward’ she told me... and here I am, moving on to Portland.”

“Your mom would be proud, Zoe.”

“I know. I know she knew I loved her. I want to make her proud,” she said, and he held her hand tighter.

The rest of the drive back home was silent. Zoe fell asleep, the truck’s engine singing a faint lullaby. Her fingers intertwined with his, her head on his shoulder. Her scent filled him, that faint tangy orange, mixed with water and mud and leaves and everything. Nature had embraced her too, and the scent was lovely.

His bear called inside him, its fury somewhat dampened now that he had given himself to her. Mate he purred.

His animal felt stronger than ever, its call more focused, it never wanted a mate, just like he never did. The bear knows things you don’t, was a common shifter saying.

And he understood what his feral side told him.

She was different from every other woman he’d met. She was brave, she faced her fears, she’d endured the worst and came out stronger than before. But she was fragile at the same time. He had never met someone so interesting. He took pride in being able to read most people fairly quickly. Everybody had their quirks and their stories, but most people were straightforward, if not in speech, in manners and intent.

Mate her, his bear growled, his fury coming back for a second. No, he replied. I can’t just make her change her life for me, I’m not that selfish. She said so, she just wants to enjoy this while it lasts, I won’t stand on her way to happiness.

He felt his bear swell up inside, roaring. And could taste the bitterness of accepting what he just had. Fate! No running! his bear roared. But he had to let her go, to let go of his destiny if that would make her happy.

His stomach tightened.

He just called her his destiny.

This was going to be hard.

***

Next morning, Damien got out of the bed softly, letting her sleep. He took a shower and got dressed. He liked the morning routine, when everything was quiet and the sun hadn’t fully climbed up in the horizon.

He tiptoed around the room, not even opening the curtains. Yesterday was a mix of emotions, he got a glimpse of her vulnerability and her strength, and what she had to endure before she got this far.

She was sleeping naked, her beautiful breast half exposed through the sheets, and he felt his cock go hard. He imagined himself in another life, where they’d be together, he’d protect her, give her anything she wanted. They’d probably have sex before work. And after work. And during lunch hour. And maybe a quickie in the middle of the night. He laughed, that’d be something.

He composed himself, he couldn’t think of that, he had to make breakfast. He leaned in to kiss her and stopped, his eyes widening, his heart beat starting to accelerate. He felt a sudden void in his stomach as he focused his eyes on her arms.

He sneaked towards the curtains and opened them an inch or two, some light pouring in from outside, then checked her again and gasped.

The stings. The god damned shadow Rot was back. He remembered the day before, she was okay, he would’ve noticed if something like this happened, it was impossible to miss. Each sting was as black as death, threatening to take her.

Enzo would have to see her again. The Shadowlands stung her, meaning she’d have to leave. But first he’d have to check the area. Something was wrong. Maybe the rot was not completely gone. He couldn’t risk exposing her to it again. He had to make sure she was fine.

And then she’d have to leave the mountain as soon as possible.

***

Zoe opened her eyes, reached out to her side for Damien but he wasn’t there. She sat on the bed and looked around. The curtain was closed, just a ray of light passing through, the sun already high in the sky. She cleared her throat, “Damien?” she said out loud. No one answered.

Uhm... this is weird, she thought, Damien didn’t even say good bye, he just left.

She walked around the cabin, his clothes were laying on the room’s floor. The bathroom’s light was still on, and below, there was no evidence of breakfast.

He got out in a hurry. Her heart started beating faster. Yesterday he makes breakfast for me, today he goes out without a word? She started to worry. Did I seem to clingy? Too emotional?

She got out to the backyard, everything was as usual. The morning air was coldish, but it didn’t matter. She clicked her tongue and went back in. I shouldn’t have told him about my mom, he must think I’m too much baggage. But then she stopped.

“No,” she said out loud. What I told him is who I am, I won’t hide, and I wasn’t asking for pity.

She went back to the bedroom, started gathering her belongings. I told him I could be here forever. She rolled her eyes, “Gosh!” I didn’t mean it like that, now he probably thinks I will, just barging into his life, not caring.

“I shouldn’t have said that. Damn, everything was going perfect and you just had to ruin it,” she said out loud. As usual, things turn to shit when they start to get better.

She’d felt a kind of happiness she hadn’t felt before. She felt free to love and be loved without judgment or rules. He was inspiring, he made her feel things she didn’t think existed. But you can’t depend on anyone, Zoe. You don’t need anyone to be happy, you don’t need anyone to complete you. You have to be happy on your own,” she thought as she zipped shut her backpack and went outside.