Chapter 10
Hank
In Cincinnati, I pull off the interstate. According to the GPS, there’s a Motel 6 up ahead. It’s been nine hours of straight driving, and my ass is tired. With what Edwina told me about her past, however, I have a feeling I won’t be sleeping peacefully.
Angel’s been through a lot of shit during her time on Earth. Every bit of it unfair. My beast wants to protect her while making everything right for her. Edwina deserves it. I don’t think the female has had a day of peace since she was born. Growing up in slavery and surviving the aftermath was bad enough. Life didn’t get any easier once she was turned. She’s endured so much ridicule even as a vampire.
Thankfully, the motel room is clean and the bed not too lumpy. I slip off my shoes and am tempted to lie back, but Edwina’s too quiet. Like I said, sleep won’t happen if I don’t ease her worries.
“Come here, Angel.” I stand, spreading my arms, and wait for her to step into my embrace. She doesn’t take long. I rub my hands over her chilly back. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I don’t like talking about my past. It brings up memories I’ve tried hard to forget,” she mutters. “Memories that have haunted me for years. Once they surface, I have a hard time forgetting ‘em.”
Her tearful voice goes straight to my heart. I tighten my arms around her. “You’re not alone, Angel. Let me shoulder your pain. I can take whatever you give me.”
Edwina buries her face in my chest and sobs. I won’t do anything to discourage her crying. Maybe her tears will be the cleansing she desperately needs.
After a few minutes, her muffled voice asks, “Hank, can ya be with a monster?”
Hell, constant questioning is something my species doesn’t handle well. We’re beasts ready to deal with any shit you throw our way. But thanks to humans, vampires have earned a reputation for monstrous behavior. For the most part, it’s undeserved. It would be like calling every human a murderer simply because they kill animals for food. Some are and some aren’t. It’s the same thing with vampires.
“Angel, you’re nobody’s “monster.”
“Yes, I am.” She steps away from me and sits on the bed. “After Alexander turned me, I went back to the plantation…” Edwina drops her head. “I had to wait until nightfall. Back then, I knew nothing of charms and spells to allow me to venture out during the day. As a human, it took me days to get away from the Devereaux Plantation but as a vampire, I was back there in a flash.”
“The first person I ran across was the old overseer, Jenkins, who said, ‘Well, if it ain’t one of my old niggas.’ I immediately responded with, ‘I’ve never been a nigga or belonged to ya.’
“The aged man limped toward me. My blood boiled, like hot lava, as I regarded him. He’d been drinking, and the stink of whiskey reached my nose and turned my stomach. A toothless smile spread across his pock-mocked face.
‘Ya lose sumpin’, gal?” he asked and his hand went to his belt. ‘Maybe I can help ya find it?’
“I took a step back and told him to keep his distance or I wouldn’t be accountable for my actions.
“He cackled and continued his approach. The harshness of his voice grated my nerves and pushed me to the edge. In an instant, I was at Jenkins side, my hand wrapped around his scrawny neck, stopping the overseer in his tracks. Wide, rheumy eyes greeted me. He didn’t notice my other hand moving over his collarbone. A gruesome snap, like a dry twig breaking in the night, sent Jenkins’s head flopping forward.”
“You didn’t drink from him?” I ask, sitting beside her.
“The mix of stale alcohol, tobacco, and sweat was too much. Even now, the thought of sinking my teeth into his flesh turns my stomach.”
“Besides, there was a more worthy kill inside the big house. Gliding to the front door, I found my grandmammy on the porch. She rocked in a chair and didn’t seem surprised to see me. The woman barely acknowledged me, focused on her knitting.
‘I was wondering when you’d come back to us,’ Grandmammy said without making eye contact, ‘We don’t do handouts to niggas though.’
“Hearing her call me nigga made my jaw clench. How did such a hateful woman give birth to my papa—a man so kind he lost his life trying to defend Mama? I told her I wanted nothing from her and asked where he was.
‘Gerard is in his drawing room, but you need to stay away from him.’ She tried to go on, but I cut the woman down before she finished the sentence. My grandmammy’s blood dripped down my chin and onto my green silk dress. I relished every drop. It was my first feeding, but it wouldn’t be the last that night.”
“You killed your grandfather.” It’s not a question. It’s not a judgment either.
“Yes, along with anyone who tried to stop me. Before I killed the bastard, I compelled him to sign over his accounts to me. He also provided documents giving me the rights to the Creole cottage I lived in, proof that I was in his service, and a letter stating that all his properties were to convert to me upon his death. After I drained his sorry ass, I forged the signature of the notary who signed my plaçage papers.”
Damn.
Never in a million years would I have guessed Edwina could be so ruthless, but her grandparents and the overseer deserved their fate. Reaching out, I hug the female to me. “Angel, you did what you had to do. I’m glad you took what should have been yours to begin with.”
Edwina glances up, red tears shining in her eyes. “What do ya mean?”
“Your grandparents never acknowledged you as family. Your grandfather should have gladly made you an heir without you compelling him. Doesn’t make you a monster though. In my eyes, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
She drops her gaze and says, “I’m no longer human.”
“You were once. I don’t give a fuck about labels. Don’t you realize that?” Hell, if I was concerned with designations, I would have never married Sheila. Although we’re both cats, my family tends to stick with their type and not hook up with jaguars. My father used to tell me jaguars were untrustworthy. After the fiasco of my marriage, maybe I should have worried about classifications when I met Sheila. Might have saved me some grief.
Edwina nods and pats my chest. “Ya should get some sleep.”
“Lie down with me,” I urge.
“No. I should—”
She doesn’t get a chance to resist. I inch upward on the bed, pulling her with me. “I want you beside me. It’ll help me sleep.”
“Fine,” she says softly and rests her head on my chest.
I exhale deeply. Somehow, I’ve got to get this female to understand her own worth. Edwina’s physical proof of the damage done by the slave trade. She acts like someone who’s been beaten down all her life. I’m grateful she shared this part of herself with me though. It helps me understand so much more about her.
Her past is probably why she never went public with Cash. Ridicule and shame are her constant companions. Announcing her relationship with the incubus would have earned her overwhelming scorn from Council and a majority of the Falls Creek supernaturals. I got a taste of it at the Red Room, but that backlash was mild. Nobody cares about a black cat prowling around town with a creature of the dark. Over time, residents might have forgotten about us.
I push the disparaging thoughts from my mind and let sleep take over.
Hours later, I wake up. The sun is setting, and Edwina’s side of the bed is empty. I roll over and find her in a chair near the window. The TV is on, but the sound is muted. She’s sipping from a tall, plastic cup.
“Angel?”
“Stop worrying, Hank. I’m fine,” she says flatly. “Ya need some food, and then we should go.”
Sliding out of bed, I crawl closer. On my knees, I place a hand on her thigh. “How could I not worry about you? Angel, you’ve been through so damned much.”
She looks down her nose at me. “I don’t need ya pity.”
“It’s not pity.” I choose my next words carefully. “All I want to do is knock down the wall you’ve built around yourself. The one hiding your heart.”
“My heart is just fine.” There’s an iciness to her voice. “ I don’t have a wall up.”
That’s where she’s wrong. Edwina let it down when she fell for that jackass incubus. Once I pointed out how grieving over him was destroying her, she reconstructed the wall. Brick by brick it went back up. Now I’ve got to tear the fucking thing down again. What Edwina doesn’t need, though, is my dwelling on it, so I’ll let it rest. For now.
“It’ll take another day to get to New Orleans. Maybe we can drive straight through?” My eyes lift toward hers. “Do you have your charm?”
“Yes. Let me drive at night though. When the sun comes up, I’ll use my charm. The windows in ya car are heavily tinted. I’ll be fine.”
I rise to my feet, return to the bed, and put on my shoes. “There’s a diner down the road. I’ll see if I can get a steak or something. Be back in a bit.”
“Take ya time. I’m going nowhere.” Edwina lowers her head and stares into her cup.
After Edwina’s story, the crisp night air is appreciated. As I walk toward the diner, I deliver a mental warning to any lurking spirits from her past. If we cross paths, you answer to me. Nobody hurts this female ever again.
An hour later, we’re back on the road with Edwina driving. It took her a bit to figure out the clutch, but you wouldn’t know it at the moment. Angel drives like she’s been doing this for years. I realize that’s a faulty assessment. Edwina doesn’t even own a car. She’s had no need for one.
Her melodic voice interrupts the overwhelming silence. “Tell me something about ya.”
Only fair.
“What do you want to know?”
Edwina tilts her head to one side. So much time goes by I think she’s forgotten the question. I’m tempted to say something when she asks, “Do ya always change in private?”
“Pretty much. Not too many have seen my beast come out. Of course, my family has and…Sheila.” And now my demon is riding shotgun.
“But why?” Edwina glances at me. “I want to see it.”
My brow furrows. “Why would you want to see me in pain?”
“It’s not about the pain. I’ve seen my share of shifters. The process always amazes me.” A grin stretches across Edwina’s face. “It’s a sight to behold. Such beauty hiding beneath ya skin.”
Beauty amid the pain?
I never thought of it like that. All I’ve ever considered, when it came to changing, was the pain. Gut-wrenching, bone-twisting pain. “That so-called beauty doesn’t compare to you, Angel.”
“Please.” She huffs. “I’m far from beautiful.”
Listening to Edwina tear herself down breaks my heart. It’s becoming obvious she only kept company with the incubus because he didn’t do feelings. Their tenuous relationship kept her from sharing hers. It was a symbiotic, fucked-up arrangement. That shit ain’t flying with me though.
My beast may be a predator, but he feels shit. My emotions run the full gambit—happy, pissed off, contented—and I don’t deny them for anyone. Something tells me if given the chance, if her wings hadn’t been clipped so early in life, Edwina would soar. She would have been the queen she was meant to be. If I have anything to do with it, I’m going to help her grow new wings. Help her to fly as high as she can and then some more.
What if she flies away?
It’s a chance I’m willing to take. She’s worth it.
And there it is. The whole reason why she’s by my side. I care about her. A lot. It’s time she knew.
“Pull over, Edwina,” I demand.
“Why?”
“Please.” If I don’t do this now, I’ll wuss out. It’s something I’m good at.
As soon as the car is on the shoulder, I jump out and run around to the driver’s side. Edwina gasps when I jerk the door open. Grabbing her hand, I help her out. A car speeds by us. Once it passes, I walk her to the side of the road.
“Hank, ya scaring me,” she says cautiously.
“No need to be,” I say gently before putting my hands around her waist, lifting her up, and placing her on the hood.
Her eyebrows knit together. “What are ya doing?”
“I need you to understand me.” Staring into her eyes, I clear my throat. “You, Edwina Marie Devereaux, are a creature of beauty.”
She shakes her head and tries to look away.
I grasp her chin and hold her gaze. Damn. Her beauty astounds me.
“Hear me out. You were a beautiful human, and now you’re a phenomenal supernatural. Angel, you’re stronger than you realize. Only a survivor could’ve done what you’ve done. You claimed your inheritance and then went after the asshole who turned you. Those are the actions of a bad-ass hunter.”
“No, Hank. I’m—”
“Angel,” I continue not letting her finish her thought. “You have a habit of giving your heart to the wrong types. I’m talking about Lucas and Cash, but that shit stops right now.”
“Hank—”
“I’m not done.” I take her hand in mine. “Before you ask, I’m with you not because I pity you. Angel, you’re everything to me. I wish you could see what I see.”
“What’s that?” Caution rings through her words.
“A female worth fighting for. A female whose soft side threatens her well-being each and every day. Someone my beast wants to love, protect, and cherish.”
“Love?” Edwina regards me with squinty eyes.
“Yes…love.” If I’m honest with myself, I’m falling for this female. Hard. But I need her to embrace her strength. It’s the only way we’ll work. Otherwise, my dark side will see her weakness, and eventually, it will prey upon her. I’ll walk away before I let that happen though.
“Hank, no one’s ever cared for me.” Edwina’s chin trembles. “Other than my parents.”
I inch forward and cup her face in my hands. “Well, that’s the past. I care for you, and anyone who threatens what we’re building will answer to me.”