Devin

Oblivion, that is what I need. Darkness, is what I crave now. I can still feel her life within my grasp, her pulse beneath my palm. I wanted to rip her throat out. She took what I needed from me and I hate her for it, and yet she lives.

I don’t understand why I am walking away. This need in me to kill is strong and yet my legs move as though my head has no control over them. My fist curls and I punch the stone wall. Bones break. I hear the loud snap, but the pain doesn’t register. Nothing does, nothing apart from her eyes and that strange voice inside my head. The one I know is there, but which I cannot hear.

I let out another loud roar. Killing the woman who tasted of violets is not enough to appease this darkness which rages within my chest. There is only one place now that can do that. The chambers and the desperate, hollow prisoners within.

I am the Queen’s Dark Knight. I am her Punisher.

That is what I know, that is what calls to me now. Not the indistinct voice inside my head.

I stop, leaning against the damp wall. Breathing has become difficult suddenly. I remember the strength of her gaze, the courage of her words. What was her name again?

“So why don’t you?” She had said those words without fear, without any concern for her life. How I’d wanted to kill her. And yet… those eyes. I can’t seem to get them out of my thoughts. A memory feathers against my mind. Something bright, familiar. The darkness parts a little for it. I see a rose wrapped around an arm…

“Devin. You’re needed.”

I push off the wall, bringing myself back into the present. The image of the rose fades from my mind. It is Abanthe, one of the other Punishers. He’s a wicked bastard. Like me, he thrives on the thrill of holding someone’s life in his hands, and yet that thought seems sickening suddenly.

“What is it?” I snap, not in the mood for chitchat or these alien feelings that seem determined to fuck me over.

“We have a new prisoner. A boy. Sebastian is his name. The Queen caught him sneaking into her apartments.”

“Wasn’t he her plaything?”

“Yes, but he is out of favour now. He has become obsessed with her. She wants him punished. I would’ve obliged, but the wolf-shifter is quite the challenge. I will return to him later. I must feed first.”

“Fine. Which cell is the boy in?”

“Two doors along from the wolf, cowering like a baby,” Abanthe sneers. “The boy is not one of us. All underlings are the same. Pathetic, weak-willed. None of them have any spirit…”

I ignore the rest of his tirade and make my way to the cell. As I move down the corridor where the cells are lined up side by side, I let the sound of the prisoners’ screams wash over me, fuelling the darkness that resides in my chest. Stopping at the cell that holds the wolf-shifter, I peer through the small barred opening on the door. Inside I can see Ether leaning over the battered body of the prisoner. If Abanthe does not return soon, then his job will be done. Ether brings death quicker than anyone I know. A few cells along is where the boy is being kept.

Pushing open the door, I see Sebastian snivelling in the corner.

“Well, if it isn’t Queen Adrielle’s plaything,” I say slowly, mustering up as much malice as possible. Normally it isn’t so difficult. I am not myself.

He looks up at me with wide, scared eyes. For the briefest of moments, I feel sorry for him, that silent presence in my head making itself known. I slam the door to the cell shut, pushing away any feelings of sympathy as I do.

I am the Queen’s Dark Knight. I am her Punisher.

“I hear Queen Adrielle has tired of you?”

“I don’t understand, she loves me.”

I stare incredulously at the shaking wretch of a boy. “Loves you? The Queen loves nobody.”

“No! That’s not true, she told me she did. She chose me. I am special to her.”

I throw my head back and roar with laughter. “You were a means to an end. Her plaything. The Queen chooses her lovers carefully, granted. Though it is not because of love. Never because of that. There would’ve been a reason. What does it matter now, she has replaced you. You are nothing to her.”

Sebastian stands from his crouched position, the chains around his wrist and ankles keeping him from escaping. He is tall, and well-built for a young underling. He glares at me, a sudden defiance appearing. “I don’t believe it. She loved me.”

“Is that why you snuck into her apartments? Were you hoping she’d take you back? Tell me, what did you find when you got there?”

Sebastian curls his fists, his face grim.

“Another lover, I take it?”

“Screw you,” he says, slamming his fists into the wall.

“You are here because she has no use for you anymore. I am here because you are to be punished. We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. Either way, we are not here to be friends.”

I am the Queen’s Dark Knight, I am her Punisher.

Sebastian looks at me long and hard. His eyes are brimming with tears, not because he is afraid of me but because it is apparent now the Queen never loved him at all.

“Do your worst. I’d rather die than live my life without her.”

“You’re going to wish you never said that,” I say, before rushing over and punching the boy square on the face. His head whips back from the force. I hear his nose snap. He does not cower, plead for mercy, or fight back as I rain down blows on him. He takes every punch, every kick. Even though he is born of the curse and can regenerate, he is still unable to heal as fast as I am able to injure.

Yet, still he takes it all. Bloody and bruised, he remains fearless. This underling is not weak or pathetic as Abanthe had suggested. This boy is determined, courageous… he reminds me of someone.

I pick up the long blade that is kept in the corner of the cell and raise it above me, ready to remove his head. He stares at me, bloody, bruised and unrecognisable. I don’t know whether it is his willingness to die for the one he loves, or the look of utter desolation on his face, but something stops me from doing what I must. Perhaps it is the echo of that voice in my head, the voice I am drawn to but cannot hear, but suddenly this is the last place I want to be.

All I see is the woman with the dark eyes, and as the blade clatters to the floor, I find myself running back to her.