My body acted on instinct, throwing itself to the side. The metal thing hit the spot where I’d been a mere moment ago, spun, and launched itself at me again. Shit, it was fast. But I was no slowpoke. K was already launching an armor-piercing bolt. It hit its mark but glanced off the creature who was scuttling toward me like I was the center of gravity. The door back into the bar was behind it. No escape that way.

Fuck this shit. I turned and ran, metal at my back, the horrific clicks and clanks a promise of a neat slice and dice if it caught up to me, and no way was I being anyone’s shish kebab. The mouth of the alley loomed. If I could get around the building, I could call for help.

And then the clanks stopped. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end just before the thing slammed into my back, taking me down. The vise-like grip it had instituted in the old lady’s attic was back. Skull-crushing pressure ground the side of my face into gravel. Fuck. This. Shit. Hot, molten rage surged up my throat and exploded from my lips in a sonic blast that picked up the bins lined against the wall and flung them down the alley. How? What the heck? The creature’s grip loosened for a moment, and hope warred with shock at the godawful racket that had just shot out of my mouth, and then the grip was back, tighter than ever, followed by a whirring sound.

A familiar roar battered my eardrums and then the weight on my back was gone. I rolled, kicking out just in case, eyes taking in the scene. Metal was crushed to the wall by a huge, fucked-off hound, but in the next instant, the metal thing expanded. It wrapped itself around the hound and then smashed it into the ground.

“No!” I grabbed a dagger from the sheath on my thigh, knowing damn well it would do nothing but needing to try anyway. The hound let out an awful whimper, and my dagger did nothing but scrape off the metal creature’s hide.

“Motherfucker, it has someone!” a male voice exclaimed.

“Blast the bitch,” a sultry female voice commanded.

Something whooshed over my head and then a ball of blue flame hit the metal thing. Wait, not flame, electricity. The machine shuddered, and then released the hound. Another blast, but this time the spider creature was too fast; it leapt out of the way and up onto the roof.

The hound didn’t move. My knees met the pavement. “Hey, please be okay. Please.” No visible wounds, but he was out cold. Shit.

A shadow fell over me. Two cloaked figures toting the kind of weaponry I’d only ever seen on a sci-fi show.

“He’ll be fine. It was just an extraction,” the woman said.

The guy was too busy scanning the rooftop. “Hon, we need to jet.”

The woman, Hon, was busy studying me. “You’re okay? Did it probe you?”

Probe me? “What? No.”

“Okay, good.”

“Get on with it, Hon,” the male urged.

The woman grabbed my face. “You didn’t see anything. You were attacked by an unknown assailant and everything’s a blur. Your companion was knocked out. You want to get him home safely.” Her voice sliced through me, settling deep in my mind.

I blinked and stared up at the stars. What the fuck? Everything had happened so fast it had been a blur, and the hound ... Oh, shit. The poor hound. I had to get him home. Tay. I needed Tay and Azren.

Leaving the hound, I ran back toward the rear exit, flung it open, and shouted at the top of my lungs, “Tay, Mack, I need you!”

The hound didn’t even stir. Shit. Fucking shit. What if it was dead? No, it was still breathing. Good.

The door slammed open and Taylem and Mack came barreling out. They ground to a halt at the sight of me hovering over a monstrous hound.

Tay held up his hands. “Wila, just step away from it slowly.”

They didn’t know about my mystery savior. “No, you don’t understand. He saved my life. He’s not dangerous. Just help me get him home, and I’ll explain everything. I promise.”

Tay gave me a skeptical look, but then he was striding over. Mack hesitated a moment then followed.

“We can use the truck,” Tay said.

I glanced back at the exit. “Where’s Azren?”

Mack smirked. “Why don’t you go see for yourself? We’ll load up the hound.”

I headed back into the bar to the sound of booty-shaking music and loud, rowdy hoots. A crowd had gathered, and being short was so not conducive right now. The bar was to my left. There was nothing to do but hop up and do a sweep, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

“Your friend likes this song,” Fergus slurred from behind the bar.

Azren had the floor, or table as the case may be, and the attention of every red-blooded neph female in the room as he showed off some serious snake-hip moves.

Oh, man. Shit, he looked hot. “Hey! Shakira, get your ass over here.”

Azren looked up at the sound of my voice, his green eyes aglow.

“We’re leaving.” I jumped off the bar, and this time the crowd parted to let me through, the males probably eager to see the back of the showboating intruder on the table.

“Wila, come dance. My hips don’t lie,” Azren slurred.

“Oh, man. You are so shit-faced right now.” I grabbed his wrist and tugged him. “We have to go. Now. I was just attacked outside and the—”

The smile vanished and his eyes narrowed, the inebriation lifting a little. He jumped off the table and grabbed my shoulders. “Where are the assailants?” He staggered toward the door.

“Whoa.” I ducked under his arm to brace him. “What are you gonna do, dance them to death? Let’s just get you home and sober, then we can talk.”

“You were attacked.”

“Yes.”

“And I was dancing.”

“A-huh.”

“On the table.”

“That’s right. Don’t worry, big guy. I’ll run it all by you tomorrow morning, over and over.”

The alarms, linked to the Arcana wards Noir had set up after the rogue Shedim attack, blared to life as Tay and Mack carried the hound through the French doors leading into the lounge. Shitfuck.

Noir materialized in the foyer, complete with bed head and dressed only in pajama bottoms. I caught a quick glimpse of his bare torso, tan against the cream bottoms he was wearing, before Azren’s staggering weight claimed my attention again. Noir’s mouth pressed in a firm line at the sight of us, and electricity flared to life at his fingertips.

I waved a dismissive hand. “It’s okay. It’s the hound, it saved my life again ... I think.”

He made an intricate motion with his hands to deactivate the screeching siren as I lugged Azren across the room and out of the way of the boys, who were maneuvering the hound around the dining room table. “Put him in there. I just need to get Azren upstairs.”

Azren groaned. “I think I need to vomit.”

Noir opened his mouth with a question in his eyes.

“Don’t ask.” I headed up the stairs, and the poor Shedim did the best he could to help me help him.

“Your ale is toxic.” He groaned.

“Uh-huh.”

“I am never inebriated.”

“Right.”

“The earth spins.”

“That’s right, big guy. Almost there.”

We entered his room, and he pushed away from me and stumbled into the bathroom.

“What’s wrong with him?” Trevor asked from the doorway.

The sounds of Azren retching filtered through the bathroom door.

“Um. Azren isn’t feeling too well.”

“I didn’t realize Shedim could get sick.”

“Yeah, well, it turns out that they can if they drink too much killer honey ale and then dance on the tables.”

Trevor’s eyes grew round. “Please, tell me you got pictures.”

I gave him my best stern look. “What do you take me for?” I pulled my phone from my pocket, face breaking into a grin. “Of course I bloody did.”

“You, Wila Bastion, are a legend. Let me see.”

The retching had stopped. “Shit. Go. I’ll find you in a bit.”

Trevor slipped away as the bathroom door opened with a creak and a pale, shaky Azren emerged. He staggered across the room and fell face first onto the bed.

“Azren? Are you all right?”

A low groan that sounded very much like kill me.

“Sorry, did you say, these hips don’t lie.”

“Fuck you.”

For someone who hated the word fuck, he’d sure been using it a lot lately. I’d totally rubbed off on him. Snort-chuckling to myself, I headed out the door humming the soundtrack he’d been dancing to. Something shifted at the back of my mind, a strange feeling of urgency, the kind you got when you knew there was something important you were about to say or do but it had flown the coop in your head. It was fleeting but disturbing, and then I was bounding down the stairs to the lounge where Tay and Mack had laid the hound.

The hound was still unconscious, but someone had found a blanket and laid it over the beast.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Gilbert said softly from beside me.

“Yeah, neither have I. But he saved my life several times now.”

Noir was crouched by the creature, fingers hovering over its fur, eyes closed. He stopped and sat back on his haunches.

“No internal injuries that I can detect, but there’s a puncture wound just here.” He pointed at the back of the hound’s neck. He pulled himself up and smoothed down his slacks. “What happened?”

I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know. I went outside for a breath of fresh air and then something came at me. It was a blur ... I think ... there was something holding me to the ground.” Colors and images surged up in my mind. Memory. But then a sharp pain lanced through my head, cutting them off. “Shit.” I gripped my head.

Noir was across the room in an instant, his lean hands on my shoulders. “Wila, what’s wrong.”

“Every time I try and remember it hurts.” I let go of the swirling images and the pain subsided.

Noir’s lips were pressed together, his eyes glittering dangerously. “I think someone’s blocked your memory.”

“Blocked? What? No. I’d remem—okay, that was dumb.”

He cracked a smile. “I may be able to help.”

I nodded. “Go for it. If someone’s fucked with my brain, then I want to know so I can hunt them down and kick their arse.”

He placed his hands on either side of my head.

“Wait,” Tay said. “Could this hurt her?”

The pressure of Noir’s fingers eased a little. “It could if I push, but I’m simply going to probe and—”

Synapses fired in my brain. “Wait, what did you say?”

Noir blinked down at me. “I said I wasn’t going to push.”

“No, after that.”

“That I was simply going to probe?”

“Yes! Probe, that word—” Another shooting pain, this time behind my eyes. “Oh, fuck this shit. Noir, sort this out.”

Noir gently cupped my head and closed his eyes. A tingle spread across my scalp, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention, and then someone stabbed a dagger into my head.

My scream was a primal, visceral, involuntary thing.

Noir’s hands slipped away, and Tay’s booming voice cut through the pain. Large hands gripped me, lifting me off my feet, cradling me to a wide, muscular chest. Tay. It was Tay. But the pain was a live thing burrowing into my fucking cerebral cortex like a worm, a hungry worm eating at my brain matter.

Sirens blared.

No. Not sirens. Screams.

My screams.

“What did you fucking do?” Tay demanded.

“Nothing. I didn’t do anything.” Noir’s tone was higher than usual, dripping with panic.

Colors filled my mind’s eye, voices, shapes, smells, and the memory I’d lost surged to the surface.

The pain shut off as if someone had flipped a switch.

I opened my eyes to Tay’s frown.

“Wila. Oh thank fuck.” He cradled me closer.

I gripped his shirt. “I remember.”

Missy Honour’s voice was a low hum emanating from the radio on the kitchen counter. Did that woman ever sleep? Gilbert had made some tea, decaf due to the late hour, but so far, mine sat untouched. Noir sat opposite me at the table, Mack leaned up against the door jamb, and Tay was propped up against the counter by the radio. Gilbert was close by; I could sense him, but not precisely pinpoint his location.

“And you’re sure this was the same thing that attacked you in the attic?” Noir asked. He studied me carefully, probably looking for signs of brain damage. I resisted the urge to pull a funny face and slur. Not appropriate.

I fingered the handle of my teacup. “I’m positive. It was the same thing.”

“These two operatives must be working for The Collective. They may be part of this elite team,” Noir mused.

It made sense. “And these metal things must be the threat that The Collective were talking about.”

“Which means they have no idea about the Lost,” Noir added.

Mack looked from Noir to me as if watching a tennis match.

Tay ran a hand over his face. “Can someone please fill me in on what the fuck is going on?”

He spoke evenly, without any real force. But Tay never needed to raise his voice to be heard. He had the kind of presence that demanded attention and respect. He was the gentle giant that could morph into a killing machine if those he loved were threatened.

Noir, succinctly, did the honors, filling Tay in on what we’d been dealing with the past three weeks.

When he finished, Tay pinched the bridge of his nose. “And you didn’t think to tell Mack and me about this?” He was addressing me in his angry voice.

I blinked at him in surprise. “When have I ever dragged you into one of my cases?”

His nostrils flared, a sure sign he was about to lose his shit. Mack pursed his lips, widened his eyes, and shook his head at me—a warning to tread carefully.

Fuck. “Look, you have your own shit to deal with. I didn’t want to burden you.”

“But you didn’t have a problem calling in the Arcana.” He glanced at Noir. “No offense.”

Oh, man. He was pissed and yet still polite. How could I not love him? “Noir happened to be there when I needed him.” It wasn’t meant as a slight, but as soon as the words were out, that’s exactly what they sounded like. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Tay pushed off the counter so his huge frame towered over me. “This isn’t about you and your claim on this situation as a case, this is about the safety of the neph in Southside—something that we could have helped ensure if you’d brought us into the loop.”

“We believed the elite team were—”

“I know what you believed,” Tay cut in. “But you were wrong, and several neph are dead because of it. Neph that could have been saved if you’d come to us for extra boots on the ground.”

My stomach quivered. Tay was never mad at me. This was new and uncomfortable, and fuck, I hated it. My neck heated in shame, because of course he was right. We should have enlisted help sooner. I’d been stubborn, confident that we’d keep things under control until The Collective stepped in.

“Hindsight is a bitch,” Mack said. “Wila did what she had to with the information she had at the time, Tay.”

Sweet Mack, always the peacemaker, but Tay wasn’t buying it. His tense jaw and the dark flash of his eyes were all a process of controlling his temper. He was probably counting to ten in his head.

“Tay?” I reached for his hand, and the fact that he allowed me to take it unknotted the tangle of emotions in my chest.

Mack caught my eye. “Promise us that if there are any more incidents, you’ll call us.” The words his brother wasn’t capable of uttering just then.

I nodded. “I promise. But I think we’re over it. There’ve been no weird sightings.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re not still out there,” Mack said solemnly.

“We should do a sweep of the district to be sure,” Tay added. “Tomorrow evening. We can split up into pairs. I have some walkies we can use to keep in touch.”

Mack grinned. “Tay’s wanted to play commando for ages.”

Tay shot his twin a lethal look.

Mack stuck out his tongue.

“I have an event, but I can make my apologies,” Noir said. “I’ll be here.”

I clapped my hands together. “Well, now that’s all sorted, you can all get the fuck out of my house.”

Mack snorted. “Ever the hostess.”

“I’m knackered.”

“What about the hound?” Noir asked.

“He stays. I’m not just dumping him.”

“No,” Noir said. “But we can’t just trust that he won’t hurt you. We know nothing about this creature.”

I placed my hands on my hips. “Aside from the fact it saved my life four times now. He stays.”

Noir sighed. “I could put some warding on the lounge to trap it in there.”

“No. You’ll just piss it off,” Tay said. “If he saved Wila’s life repeatedly, I doubt he’ll end it now, but I’d like to stay, just in case.”

Was it a good idea to be almost alone with Tay with our emotions so raw and the attraction still burning? Probably not. But turning him down would be like taking the first step toward the possibility that we couldn’t be just friends. And that wasn’t something either of us wanted.

I squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Tay. You can take the spare room on my floor.”

Tay’s shoulders relaxed. Had he been worrying about the same stuff? Had he thought I’d turn him down?

“In that case, I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Noir said. He looked from Tay to me with a tight smile.

“Me too,” Mack said. He fist-bumped Tay and then headed out of the kitchen. Noir made to follow, but I snagged his elbow.

“Hey, can I get a quick word.” I shot Tay an apologetic smile. “I’ll be with you in a second.”

“I’ll check on your newest house guest.” Tay exited the kitchen, leaving me alone with the semi-clothed Noir.

Noir stood with his arms loosely at his sides. His toned torso was more athletic than bulky and his PJ bottoms hung low on his hips, exposing the tantalizing V leading down to his man goods. Eyes up, Wila. His sharp, inquisitive features seemed softer in the buttery overhead lights of the kitchen, giving him an unguarded look.

God, why did I have to be the bearer of crappy news?

“I met your daughter today.” Okay, blunt, but heck, what was the point in beating around the bush?

He tensed. “You did?”

“Yes, and I’m pretty certain she knows you’re her dad.”

He slow-blinked. “Explain.”

I filled him in on the bullying, my smack down on it, and then Amber’s parting words and the conspiratorial look in her eyes.

He puffed out his cheeks and blew out a breath. “I didn’t realize I was causing her distress. And you think she knows. Dammit. What do I do?”

“If there really is no way for you to claim her, then you need to cut ties. You’re putting her in danger. If she tells anyone who she is, then she’s as good as dead.”

He nodded. “If I stop going to see her, she’ll believe that she was mistaken.”

“Possibly. It’s your only option.”

His mouth turned down, and he ran a hand roughly over his face. “I wanted to know her. I needed to just be there.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.

Okay, so I had plenty of other stuff on my overflowing plate, but … “Look, I can check in on her once in a while, if you’d like. Drop you a report?”

He looked up in surprise. “You’d do that for me?”

The incredulous look on his face made my chest ache with guilt for any reluctance I’d just felt. “We’re friends, right? And that’s what friends do.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Yes, Miss Bastion, we are, and they do. Thank you.” He reached out to brush a tendril of hair off my cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I trailed him into the hallway. “Hey, don’t you think you should start calling me Wila, now that we’re friends?”

“Why rock the status quo?” He gripped the door handle and then vanished.

Well, at least he was abiding by the leave-by-the-door rule. Trevor trotted down the stairs, nose twitching.

“Hey, Trevor.”

“Um, Wila. Why can I smell dog?”

“Have you bathed recently?”

If he could have arched a brow, he probably would have. “Wila, what aren’t you telling me?”

I winced. “Look, don’t freak out, but remember that hound I told you about? The one that saved my life?”

He sniffed again. “No. Oh, no you didn’t.”

I winced. “Yeah, I kinda did.”

Trevor shot up the stairs again, his body quivering. “Where is it? Where?”

“Calm down. It’s in the lounge, and it’s out cold. It won’t hurt you.” At least I didn’t think it would. “On second thought, maybe stay on the second floor until I have a chance to assess the situation fully.”

His tiny body shook, whether in indignation or fear, I wasn’t too sure. “This is our home. It’s meant to be safe, dammit.”

Guilt rocked my stomach. “I’m sorry. I promise if there’s any sign of him being dangerous, I’ll get rid of him. You know I’d never let anything hurt you, right? Not if I can help it.” I climbed the steps and crouched by him. “We’re family, Trev.”

He lifted his pointy chin, his left eye twitched, and he sniffed. “That’s low, Bastion, using the F word. Seriously.” He turned his back on me and stalked up the stairs.

“Wila?” Tay called. “Someone’s waking up.”

Shit. I ran toward the lounge, coming to a halt in the doorway. Tay had wisely backed up too, putting himself between me and the hound. I caught a glimpse of its head around Tay’s enormous bicep. The gleam of amber eyes as it swung its nose our way had my feet rooted to the spot, and then a low growl teased goosebumps to life across my skin. It backed up and then fell into a crouch.

No, it wouldn’t attack. It had saved me. What was it doing? Shit. It was probably confused, scared. And all it could see was Taylem.

“Tay, you need to move. It needs to see me.”

“Like fuck.”

“Fucking hell, Tay, move!” I shoved, but the guy was a tank. “Dammit, Tay, trust me. It needs to know I’m okay, that this is a safe place. It needs to see me.”

The hound’s growl intensified into a threatening rumble, and with a curse, Tay stepped aside.

I slipped in front of him and held up my hands. “Hey. Hi. It’s me, the neph you saved. Remember me?”

Its glowing eyes fixed on me, and his upper lip, which was curled in a snarl, dropped back over its teeth.

“Yeah. That’s right. You saved my arse, and you got knocked out, but it’s all good now. I brought you home with me. You can stay if you like.”

A low rumble.

“Or not.” I pointed to the French doors we’d used to get him into the house. “I can open those for you if you want to leave.”

The hound studied me for a long beat, and then its huge body relaxed and unknotted. It dropped to the ground, laid its head on its front paws, and closed its eyes.

Okay, stay it was. I tapped Tay’s elbow and then backed out of the room before sliding the doors shut and leaning back against them.

“I guess it wants to stay.”

Tay studied me from beneath dark brows. “He. It’s a he, and I’m not leaving you with him. Not yet.”

I cracked a smile. “Wasn’t expecting you to, big guy. But don’t whine and moan that the bed’s too small.”

Tay snorted. “I can handle a single bed.”

“Oh, the bed is a queen, but I know how you like to spread out.” His eyes darkened, and shit, could I fit any more feet in my mouth? “Forget I said that.”

He sighed. “Not that easy, Wil.”

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea—him staying over, under the same roof with just a wall between us. My thoughts must have etched themselves across my face, because he gripped my shoulders, pulled me close, and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Time, Wila. Time. You said it—once I find my mate, things will go back to normal.”

My gut twisted at his words, and for a moment, there was no breath in my lungs. Thank goodness he was already turning away. Thank goodness he didn’t see the pain.

Fire licks at my back, tearing my flesh, spilling my blood. But not a sound passes my lips. My body will not flinch. I am immutable, unchangeable. I am her rock.

“Good, Azren. Good. I do believe you are ready.”

The shackles fall away. It is time to do my liege’s bidding. To serve her in any way she wishes.

“Come, my most favored.”

Gray stone and a damp chill. Weak light and the clank of chains, and then my first victim is revealed. Blood rushes through my veins at the sight of his perfect face.

He raises his chin and glares defiantly at my liege. “Hello, Mother. What fine torture do you have in store for me today?”

The whip is in my hand, and I wait for her command. It comes as a regal inclination of the head, and I feel it in my bones. I pull back my arm and swing.

My eyes snapped open on the crack of the whip, and the empty pink room welcomed me back from the fucked-up nightmare. Seriously? Could I not get a break? And what had that been? Why had my brain even come up with that shit? Was it because Azren had attacked Valance outside my bathroom? Probably.

Okay. Deep breath. “Okay, Mr. Sandman. Quit messing about and give me something good, and if you can’t deliver, then just piss off.”

Closing my eyes, I drifted back into slumber.

Body slick with the perspiration that comes with delicious exertion, breath trapped in my throat and exploding in tiny gasps of pleasure, hands—rough, calloused hands—kneading my flesh, parting my thighs. Ready, I was ready for him, razor-sharp teeth grazing my earlobe. Azren, yes. Oh, God. Yes.

“Wila, I love you, you know that.” Tay’s voice was a delicious vibration against my collarbone. My mind rebelled in confusion. What? What was happening?

Baby blue eyes peered down at me. “Checkmate, Miss Bastion.”

Whoa! I surged from sleep, battling the inert duvet with a ninja kick and a karate chop. All silent. No hot men in my bedroom. Clothes on. Nothing fucking going on whatsoever.

I slumped back against the pillows. “Brain, you are seriously one messed-up cortex, you know that?”

The clock blinked 4:30 a.m.

There’d be no more sleep for me tonight.

The basement light flickered, causing me to grip the flashlight tighter. The light flared steady once more and my grip relaxed. Dropping the flashlight on my lap, I picked the teacup up off the tiny side table I’d brought down a few weeks ago. I slumped back in the chair and took a sip of the strong concoction.

“The thought of Tay with someone else makes my teeth ache, and Azren is driving me crazy … I just can’t get a handle on that guy. One minute he’s all business and the next he’s belly dancing on the fucking table. And Valance ... I don’t know, but I think he’s hiding something. Noir’s the only one that isn’t taking up precious brain energy right now. And now the whole fucked-up mess is playing in my head when I sleep.” I tapped the rim of my teacup and stared at the door, waiting for the voice.

“You know what this is, right?” the voice asked, his tone smooth like velvet.

The knots in my shoulders eased a fraction. “Do you think I’d be procrastinating if I did?”

A low chuckle. “Sexual repression.”

“Huh?”

“The only way to solve it is to fuck them all,” he said casually.

Wait, had I just heard him right.

“Yes, you heard me right. Just fuck them and get it over with. You know you want to. Your dreams are your subconscious sending you a message.” There was a sly edge to the voice now, needling and smarmy. “Wila, you need this.”

“No. I don’t want to. And you need to get your brain out of the gutter.”

Another soft chuckle. “You want Tay to give up his troll for you. Despite what you said to him, you want him to drop the knell and be yours. You want to tear down Noir’s perfect gentleman facade and unleash the sexual beast you know is tied up in chains within. You want to taste the danger hovering on Azren’s lips, feel the graze of his razor-sharp teeth, and you want to be burned by Valance’s Dragon Tear-soaked breath. You want him to draw you in so far that you become one.”

“Bullshit. Valance tried to eat me.”

“You wanted the prince before he began to feed from you. You want it all, and that’s what scares you.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” My hand shook, and I set the cup down.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about, and now you’re ready to hear it.” His tone was no longer playful. It was edged with an anger I couldn’t comprehend. “You’re not against giving your heart away. You’re against being trapped in a monogamous relationship.”

His words stabbed at a hidden part of me, the part that I’d locked away a long time ago. “Shut up.” But there was no conviction in the demand.

“You’re afraid of wanting more, of wanting everything. Of wanting it all, because hey, that would just be greedy, selfish even, and that isn’t the image of you that you like to see. But now ask yourself why? Why fight your basic instinct? Is it worth the internal torment? Just think if you accept your flaws, if you accept your dark desires, we could be free.”

“Instincts aren’t always right.” Dammit, why did I sound so unconvinced?

“That’s a lie and you know it. You know what you want. You’re just afraid to break the conventions of the only society you know. But, Wila, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Maybe this society isn’t for you. At least you have the freedom to decide, to forge a path.” The fire had bled from his tone, and now he just sounded resigned, and ... sad.

My stomach tightened in response to the sorrow in his tone, and my feet took a step toward the metal door before I could catch them. What was I doing? He was locked up for a reason, a reason he wouldn’t share with me, probably because it was so horrific.

“You’re insane, you know that? And you have no idea what I need, so zip it.” I headed for the stairs.

“Yes, maybe I am. And yet you come to me time and time again. Ask yourself why you come down here? It’s because you need me,” he called in a singsong voice. “You need me to say the things you can’t. To think the things you refuse to think.”

A shiver ran up my spine because he was right. He was so fucking right. But like hell I was going to admit it.

“And I think you need to get a life. Oh, wait, you can’t.” I slammed the door shut with a smug smile.