The world was a really big place, and we could only move so fast without being able to change horses, the way the dance troupes did. So it still took five whole days before we were even close to my next guardian, although we were lucky in that we only encountered a few monsters in between. I could hardly believe it, but I was starting to get used to seeing a monster or two on the road. The Monster Cleaver lived up to its name, again and again.

One day, four monsters came slinking and limping out of the brush. Even the limping ones were fast. I clutched Wretch, who was twisting and growing in my arms, scratching me up.

“Calm down!” I snapped, watching Forrest try to manage four monsters at once. One went down quickly even as another crawled toward the horse. This monster was low-slung, with a crooked tail, slithering on its belly almost like a snake. The horse edged back, snuffling. I couldn’t do much about the horse because I was too busy trying to contain Wretch.

“Forrest!” I screamed as the monster came too close.

He took care of the second monster and lunged, striking the monster dead, while another one leapt onto his back. I screamed again. That was how monsters could overwhelm a man, getting him from behind. Forrest struggled, trying to shake it off. He reached back and the monster snapped at his hand, scratching him, but Forrest pulled out a dagger from his boot and jabbed that at the beast, stabbing it inside the mouth. From there, the monster let go and Forrest dispatched it easily.

It took me forever to stop shaking after that.

The good thing about my next guardian was, I could sense him, and he seemed to be getting closer to us as we drew closer to him. Sir Forrest suspected our paths would cross up ahead in the city of Empero.

The bad thing was, as we got closer to Empero, we started passing people on the road more often. Mostly soldiers. We hadn’t seen anyone from the Black Army itself—they were the most elite group—but Sir Forrest tensed whenever anyone appeared in the distance.

We would pass them. Forrest would nod.

“Seen any monsters?” he would say.

Sometimes they would say no. Other times yes, and I would be more anxious than before. “That’s very risky, escorting a lady alone,” the soldiers would tell him, without fail.

Forrest would shrug. Sometimes one escort was all a person could afford. They would wish us luck and move on.

Between a high-strung cat and a high-strung man, I took it upon myself to be the chill member of the party. This was no easy act, because our accommodations usually left a lot to be desired. Some of the safe houses were pretty grungy. The cots were creaky and the rooms were cold and we had to subsist on beans and porridge, plus whatever vegetables I could scrounge up. I was used to a lot more luxury. I got a pretty nice bonus of gilden from being a Strawberry Girl, and at home I had a feather bed.

Plus, I read the whole book from cover to cover, facing up to my future duties, and…holy sacred stones.

Basically, my whole body was a vessel of potent magical power I could give to my guardians. The book suggested I should take it slow at first, just one or two guys at a time—you know, like that was no big deal. Supposedly as I gained more practice with that, I would be able to grant them all sorts of special powers so that eventually, the five of us could defend the gate against an entire army. Culminating in the Grand Quintet.

The Grand-fucking-Quintet.

Like, literally.

I was supposed to be able to join with all four guardians at once. I wouldn’t have even know how to do it if the book hadn’t provided me a helpful visual. Each sigil corresponded to each guardian’s “channel”. So basically, my body was covered in magical marks that told my guardians where to stick it. And it said the expenditure of my power would be so great after this ultimate joining that I probably wouldn’t be able to get out of bed for a week afterward.

I felt like I was really getting the lousy end of the deal here.

Being pledged to Sir Forrest for the rest of my life? I thought I could handle that. The more I considered it, the more it sounded kind of nice. In the short term, he was as fine a man as I’d seen, so lucky me. In the long term, his walls would come down and we’d live happily ever after, right?

But I wasn’t so sure about having three more guardians. That was a lot of man for one girl to manage. And how would they all get along? Sir Forrest didn’t strike me as a real “go team!” kind of guy, and I had this sense that the third guardian was about a hundred times more intense, and the first guardian wasn’t much for trusting strangers. I guess it was a good thing the second guardian had the closest proximity, but it made me pretty nervous that I sensed he was in some kind of danger. What if he died before we reached him? Then I would never be able to come into my full powers.

Supposing this all did work out (and that seemed unlikely to me), my only job was going to basically be some kind of magical whore to four guys that I expected would all hate each other. I didn’t get to do any of the cool stuff myself.

Sir Forrest caught me scowling over the pages in front of the fire at the safe house just before we reached Empero.

“I told you not to read it,” he said. “It’s better to focus on one step at a time and not consider the breadth of your duties. First, we find your guardians. If we can’t manage that, the rest is moot.”

“‘The breadth of my duties’?” I said. “My duties are stupid and embarrassing. I don’t really do anything. I have all this power, apparently, but all I get to do is give it to you. When I was in the troupe, I was the star.”

The corners of his mouth briefly quirked into a smile. “You are still the star, if anyone is. But you’re a priestess now. Not a performer. No one’s going to watch. Thank the gods for that. If we make it to the end of this road, the people will revere you.”

I opened it to a picture of four men lifting their hands to create a tornado that was sweeping up a pack of monsters. “I want to do that. Not this.” I turned to the next page, which was the “Trine of Endurance”—a cock in the ass and a cock in the mouth. Endurance indeed. More like the Trine of Sucks-to-Be-Me. “I’m never doing this.”

“I would never force you,” he said. “But I didn’t write the book either. I don’t know why you’re complaining to me.”

“I don’t have anyone else to complain to. Plus, you could say something a little more reassuring.”

“Like what?” he snapped, putting down his sword and sharpening stone. “Do you think I like the idea of all this? It would be one thing if you were mine alone, but I am a loner. I’m not thrilled that I have to share you. To be honest—” He stopped.

“What? Be honest. Please.”

“As I’ve waited out these years, I’ve sometimes wished the other three guardians would have died in the meantime.” He shook his head. “It’s a terrible thought. I don’t mean it. And I know I can’t handle this alone. But I can’t help my mind traveling to dark places, once in a while.”

I warmed, scooting closer to him on the log bench. “Forrest…”

“No.” He held up a glove at me. “Don’t give me those eyes.”

“Which eyes?”

“The soft ones. I’m a shitty guardian.”

“Oh, come on. You aren’t. You’ve been protecting me, and I’m still alive.” I tried to unsoften my eyes. “I like that you don’t really want to share me with anyone else. Of course, like anyone, I imagined I’d get married someday. We’d court slowly, with plenty of romantic gestures along the way, and then I’d say my vows to him and pledge myself to him alone, and he’d say the same thing to me. Instead, the other night the sigil was overcoming me and making me want to be with you when we don't even know each other, and I have to be with four people, and I don’t get to choose at all…” I swallowed. I realized I was more upset about all this than I wanted to admit. My dreams of what love should look like had been shattered.

“I imagined the same thing you did,” he said, almost curtly. “But this is what we’ve got. It’s about more than us.”

“I know.” I looked down.

He got back to sharpening the sword. I gazed into the fire, watching the embers pop and the heat glow different colors, as I listened to the steady sound of blade against stone. Wretch settled into my lap.

“Priestesses can’t get pregnant,” I said, flipping through the pages that told me everything my future held. The bearers of the sigils—the guardians—will not produce a child, so intercourse may be freely undertaken without having to manage pregnancy. The priestess must not be distracted by earthly responsibility. “So I’ll never have a family either. Everything’s been decided for me. My life’s work, my home, my partners, and—that too.”

“I know,” he said again, more rough than before.

I spread my hands, a small surrender. The book was like a third member of the conversation, one we couldn’t argue against. “You wanted kids too, huh?” I said.

He jabbed the fire with a stick, stirring the ashes.

“Phoebe,” Forrest said, after a moment. “You know, I think I might have tried to court you even if I hadn’t been waiting for your powers to awaken.”

“Really?” I was genuinely surprised.

“Sure, I mean—you know more of the world than most girls. And you balance me out with your flippant nature.”

“Well, I don’t know about flip—”

“And you’re not ugly,” he said.

“Oh please, I bet that’s what you tell all the girls, Mr. Sweet Talker,” I said drily.

He looked at me quietly for a moment, until I felt silly for making a joke, because it was plain that he thought I was actually beautiful, but he had trouble saying so for some reason.

“Okay, enough of the gushy stuff,” I said, getting embarrassed. “I know it makes you uncomfortable. We can talk knight stuff now. So, how about that sharp sword, huh? Looking good. Looking really shiny. Pointy, too.”

He laughed low, the sound making my stomach twist with desire. “Nice try. But how about this? In Empero, I’ll get you a blade of your own. If this is to be our fate, we should fight for it. We should make it our own.”