VEE

I don't remember coming home.

I only remember my mind blanking and shutting down, leaving me in a darkness I retreated into and hid.

Why am I not stronger than this? I'm the Fifth.

I know the answer. I'm weak because I'm human. I need to leave the old Vee and her reactions to my new world behind. But how?

The familiar scent of the house and the four guys around rouses me. Relief rushes in when I open my eyes; thank God, I'm away from the awful place filled with blood and fear.

Heath's concerned face comes into focus in front of me. I had a hazy dream about him undressing me.

I am half-naked. Not a dream.

What happened to me? Why do I have memory gaps?

"Shit, I didn't die did I?" I croak out.

He chuckles. "No, but I undressed you. We thought you'd catch your death if you stayed in those wet clothes."

I reach out and touch his face. "I thought I already caught Death?"

He returns a wry smile. "Glad you’ve kept your sense of humour. I hope it’s okay I did? I asked first."

The worry on his face amuses me. "It's not the first time you've undressed me, Heath. Besides, I'd rather be warm than stuck in wet clothes."

His mouth tips into a smile. "Okay. Good."

He shifts around so he’s beside me on the bed, and I snuggle into his chest. He places an arm around me; Heath smells of the comfort he's always ready to offer me. I feel strongly about all the guys, but as Heath and I spend more time together physically, we build a closer physical bond. Heath's tenderness contrasts strongly with what happened with Xander last night.

My cheeks heat at the memory.

I need to talk to Xander about the situation.

"How long have I slept?"

"Just a few hours. Joss and Xander brought you home, and then Xander went straight out to check on Seth's house. Xander's confused and not in a great mood." Heath rests his head on mine. "He explained everything that happened, what you saw. That's fucked up."

"You don't need to tell me that," I say in a hoarse voice.

Heath hugs me tighter. "I feel pretty shit that I didn't stop the pair snatching you from outside the warehouse."

"All good. I can look after myself." I squeeze his fingers. But can I? My breakdown has thrown serious doubt over my ability. What must they think of me? "Besides, we found Seth. Well, he found me."

"And now we've lost him again," says Heath. "He wasn’t around.”

"What happens next?" I ask.

"We find Seth. We find who's behind the deaths, and we get on top of this. We always win in the end." Heath’s firm voice and strong confidence reassures me—a little. His tone changes, and he pushes my face up, fingers beneath my chin. "How are you, Vee?”

The deep concern in his green eyes swells my heart. "I'm okay, Heath."

"I'm glad you can't lie." He runs his finger across my cheek. "I know this shit is tough for you, but I promise we'll do everything we can to stop anybody else dying."

"But can you?"

"Sometimes we take a while to get to the bottom of things, but we always do." He places a soft kiss on my lips. "We've got this. But I'm worried about you," he continues and strokes my hand. "Xander tried to hide how he felt when they brought you home, but I know him. He was totally freaked out."

I press myself into the warmth and safety of Heath's arms. "I don't know what happened. I think everything became too much."

Heath's next words are muffled by his lips in my hair, but strike at the heart of my fears. "I'm worried you're more human than we realised."

"I lived as one for years, involved in everyday life without knowing who I was. I'm more connected to human emotions and the world than you four are, Heath. You always knew. You guys always kept a distance."

"I guess." He shifts away and rests his head against the wall.

"What? You want to say something. Go on."

"Maybe you should stop trying to hold onto that human side as tightly. I think it's clouding your judgement over Seth too."

I tense at his name. "And how do I let go of my human?"

"By making your relationship with us all more complete."

"I already have," I protest. "I've given everything to my relationship with each of you."

Heath screws his face up. "Yes, but only with two of us."

"Two of you?" His expression answers my question. "Oh. Are you suggesting I need to have sex with you all?”

Heath falls silent. His words surprise me because I swore he wanted the human Vee to remind him he could be human too.

"I don't know, Vee. We're not sure what it takes to make you wholly like us, but what happened when we connected—that must mean something. I feel more bonded to you now. Not physically, but deeper inside myself. Does that make sense? Do you feel that deeper bond with Ewan too?"

"Ewan?” Oh. He thinks I had sex with Ewan? He doesn't know about Xander and me?

"No?" he asks.

I take Heath's hand and squeeze. "I'm tired. I've had a shit few days. Can we talk about something else?”

Heath places his thumb beneath my chin and pushes my face upwards so his lips meet mine. We kiss in a way becoming familiar, Heath’s gentleness and understanding pouring from his lips and soothing me.

The door clicks closed and I turn my head. Joss stands in the doorway with a mug in his hand, and an expression I rarely see. This isn't jovial Joss, and I sense worry in his aura.

"Don't tell me, you brought a cup of tea to fix me," I say.

My words prompt the smile he's missing.

"Is Xander back?" asks Heath.

"Not yet. He called to say there's no sign of anybody at Seth's. They didn't find many personal documents. A few bills mostly addressed to Casey. No computers either. They did find Nova Pharm payslips, so at least we know they both definitely worked there. He's heading back, and we can decide what to do next."

Joss sits on the opposite side of the bed to Heath and strokes my hair. Joss did this before, when the reaction to the scene in the hall poured out as the rain poured on my head. If Joss hadn't taken some of my anguish into himself, the screaming inside my mind would've filled the hall. His ability to absorb my extreme reactions and emotions pulled me away from the Vee who experiences them too harshly.

He can starve others of emotions; can he starve mine?

I prop myself up in bed and take the mug, cradling the welcome warmth in my hands. Both guys shuffle either side on the bed next to me, and the protectiveness I normally hate shrouds me. Where we touch, I sense their affection, which wipes away the remains of this morning's horrors.

Are they as aware as I am that I'm almost naked beneath this blanket?

It's a bloody good thing we didn't encounter a situation where I used my powers this morning. If my usual response had been triggered, the stirring arousal and suggestive thoughts drifting into my mind wouldn't stay contained.

I glance at Joss, and the smile he fights tells me he's aware what I'm thinking, even if Heath isn't.

Instead, I hold onto the other emotion running through my mind right now

Anger at my weakness.

Heath’s right. The old, human Vee needs to go.

* * *

The files with burnt corners rest on the table, alongside singed papers and the photos Xander collected from the wall. The guys are as quiet as the day we found the body at the house. Are they staying calm for me? Treading around my feelings because I suffered? I don't want to see the photographs. I hardly knew Casey, but thanks to the images, my two worlds finally collided and my mind exploded.

Xander explains to me that he ran through yesterday's and this morning's events with Heath and Ewan while I rested. I nod, annoyed with how dismissive he is. Xander obviously hasn't told them everything.

How far are they with figuring out the information in front of them? Avoiding looking at the images, I pick up a readable sheet.

"We have to consider why only one of the pair is in these photos," says Xander in a low voice as he taps one. "We don't know whether Seth was attacked or walked away."

Heath's eyes widen as Xander decides not to mince words.

"You think Seth did this, don't you?" I ask. "That he killed all those people?"

"We have to consider it's a possibility," says Joss quietly. "We can't rule anything out."

I don't know Seth, but I bristle at their instant conclusion. "I think Seth will get in touch."

Heath gestures at the folders. "Seth owned all the files, and knows what all this is about. He holds the key to something, whether it's leading us to murders or explaining what he's been doing."

"That's the problem," says Xander. "He's a mystery, and we don't know his motives."

"I expect his current motive is to stay alive," I reply.

Ewan looks at me. "I don't understand what the delay is. Vee's correct, we find the guy. He said he would come back for Vee. One way or another, he will."

"If someone's playing games with us, Seth will appear eventually," says Joss.

Alive or dead?

Xander takes another image and studies it. "Joss told you we drew a blank at Seth and Casey's house. I want to head back to the hall next. We didn't have enough time to look over the place earlier."

I don't miss the undertone. Because Vee freaked out and had to be taken home.

"Do you really think Seth will return to where his friend was murdered? I don't. He thought you were responsible for the deaths. I imagine he'll hide from anywhere you might find him."

"Okay, if it wasn't him, Seth must've seen who attacked him and Casey. He knows we're not the people who murdered his friends."

"So we need to help Seth when we do find him," I protest.

Silence.

Have they made their minds up about Seth already?

"Whether he's involved with Casey's death, or is about to become the next victim, we need to find him. The longer we wait, the more likely we never will."

"Which is exactly what I'm suggesting, Vee," growls Xander. "Let me plan where to go. We have done this kind of thing before. I know what I'm doing."

I look to Ewan. "CCTV footage from near the hall?"

He shakes his head. "Someone's erased or hidden it."

"Of course," I mutter.

Xander sweeps the papers into a file. "I'll take Heath and we'll check out the hall, maybe hang around and see if anybody appears."

"I want to go too," I announce.

Xander closes his eyes and inhales sharply. "I don't think that's a good idea after what happened earlier, is it?"

I squeeze my hands together beneath the table. "That's the reason I need to go back."

"What if you freak out again?"

The green eyes that looked into mine with darkened passion last night are filled with doubt. Is he worried about me, or his investigation?

"I won't. Besides, if we do find Seth I'd like to be there."

"Heath?" Xander asks.

Heath blows air into his cheeks. "I think if Vee wants to go, she should. The more exposure she has to this shit, the sooner she'll assimilate."

Assimilate.

I chew my lip and wait for Xander's response. He's outvoted.