Chapter 11 – Ki

 

It was nearly dark, and my heart rate spiked as I stormed out the restaurant door. I saw Alexa down a few feet, sitting on a bench, staring off into the distance like a love-sick puppy. My blood boiled and I marched over to her. I poked her shoulder before yelling, “You left me alone!”

Her eyes widened, as if she completely forgot I was with her today. Forgettable, plain, a nobody. That was me.

 “Ki, I’m sorry. I got distracted.”

I stopped in the middle of the street, holding these stupid, beautiful flowers. “They both showed up.”

“Who?”

“If you were there, you’d know.”

“Jesus, Ki. It wasn’t that long.”

“Bullshit,” I hissed, gripping the flowers so hard I thought I might break my skin open.

“Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Prescot saw me!”

“He was there?”

“Yes, and because of these,” I shook the flowers dramatically in the air, “he thought I was on a date.”

She gave me a soft smile and lowered her voice. “Those are your favorites.”

“Blue peonies. Lucas gave them to me.”

“Lucas Hills? He was there also?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my, did they see each other?”

“No. Lucas left, and then Prescot showed up, saw the flowers, took a phone call, and walked off once again like he wasn’t even there.”

“It doesn’t sound that bad.”

“I invited Prescot to join us. And he thought I meant I wanted him to join me and my date! Not you! Because you weren’t there.” I started walking again, squeezing the stupid, beautiful flowers in my hand that I loved. “I want to get home before it gets any darker out.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to catch up with me. “I really like the detective, and I can’t control myself around him.”

“You’ll blow him off in a few weeks, Lex, so I have every right to be pissed off.”

“Ki, that’s not fair.”

“You don’t date either, Lex, you have sex. Sex. That’s it, so excuse me if I don’t believe you when you say you really like the detective.” She was at a loss for words so I continued, “People are following me, Lex!”

“I’m so sorry.”

“What would have happened if one of the guys following me was in the bar? What if someone took me? You weren’t around to notice if I had gone missing. You were the one to throw a big fit about how I was never to be alone. And you left me alone.” I shifted on my feet and started to walk away.

“Ki.” I heard her curse and then heard the click-clack of her heels on the pavement make their way behind me. “Ki, stop please.” I stopped and listened because I was nice like that. “I’m sorry, Ki. I would never intentionally put you in danger. I felt like you were safe because we were in public. I’m so sorry; please, don’t be mad at me.”

I knew I wouldn’t stay mad at her forever, but I ignored her for the rest of the way home. We made it a block before I saw her slow down and I matched her strides. It was a beautiful night, one where there was barely a chill because the heat and humidity of the day were still lingering. Even though they were still there, I would have loved to walk the few blocks home, but I felt bad because Lex was wearing heels, so we took a cab to our apartment. I locked up and made a reminder note to get a quote on a security system. I did have an extra grand lying in my desk drawer, and I really should do something good with it.

I changed into my pajamas, brushed my hair out, and then tossed it back up into a ponytail.

I like you. Lucas’ words echoed in my head.

Why would Lucas like me?

Though we weren’t together long, the one and only person who ever liked me was Brayden, he quickly became my everything. We clicked in a way I never had with anyone before. It was like a storybook romance; he wooed me, took me out and showed me off, he said all the right things. He was so romantic the night he told me he loved me, out in the middle of a field, the stars our only witness as we professed our love for one another. He was funny, so handsome, and patient. Then I got sick. It was one night and I wasn’t there when he obviously needed me to be, and that was the minute I lost him. He picked her, not me. He took my heart and never gave it back. Left me devastated. I felt like a used rag, tossed aside like I was nothing to him. I just couldn’t let him go. I still loved him. Brayden had my heart, and I wasn’t sure how to get it back.

“Your phone keeps ringing,” Alexa said through the bathroom door.

“I don’t care.”

“I answered it.”

I sighed and opened the door. “There better be someone on that phone, or I’m going to be pissed.”

She shoved the phone at me. “It’s Prescot.”

Butterflies exploded in my stomach when I heard his name. His image flashed in front of my eyes, and I smiled. It was almost strange to see him in non-work clothes today, but boy was he able to pull it off. His hair was lightly tousled, like that just-got-out-of-bed look, but sexier. He wore an older looking black T-shirt, and the material looked so soft, I desperately wanted to run my hands over it, and across his chest. I wasn’t able to inspect his tattoos because I was far too busy taking in every aspect of casual Prescot. His jeans looked perfectly worn in, and not the designer worn-in type, but like he had them for years. He still wore his glasses, and a pair of low-top Chuck Taylors.

Casual Prescot was absolutely yummy.

Alexa poked my nose and waved her hand between us at my phone with a grin. I took my phone and covered the microphone. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know. I just answered it, and said I’d get you.”

She walked off, and I counted to ten before I put the phone to my ear. “Prescot.”

“I was rude.”

“It’s fine.”

There was a pause. “I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” I said walking around the kitchen island.

We shared some awkward silence, and I felt bad that I was now being rude and short with him. I was pissed at Alexa, not him, so I broke the silence. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“I didn’t see you leave,” he commented.

I chuckled. “That’s good.”

“Why?”

“Eh, Alexa and I had a tiff.”

“Oh.”

“We’re fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“I heard that!” Alexa yelled from her room, and I smiled.

“What can I do for you, Prescot?”

“I called to apologize.”

“I was at dinner with Alexa.”

Another pause. “Good.”

“I wasn’t on a date.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.”

He was right, it wouldn’t have. Someone like him couldn’t like someone like me. Plus, he was still married. So why the hell did he call to apologize? Like he said, it didn’t matter.

“Can I be blunt again?” he asked.

“Stop asking, Prescot, just be blunt. Say what you want to say. I won’t be upset.”

Another pause.

He was always thinking about what he wanted to say. I liked that he didn’t blurt anything out without thinking about it first. He was careful with the words he used, like he wanted to say the right thing, all the time. A quality I wished more people would have, and not underestimate the power behind their words.

“I saw the flowers and assumed you were on a date.”

“I knew that.”

“You did?”

“I’m not stupid.”

“Never said you were.”

“Now it’s my time to be blunt,” I paused to see if he’d say something and he didn’t. “Why did the thought of me being on a date bother you?”

I waited and went to the couch while he collected his thoughts. Hanging up on him was probably the best thing to do. Rejection sucked, but I had to know if he liked me. Even if it was just as friends. A girl could always use more friends, I thought sarcastically.

“I get it, Prescot. You don’t have to answer.”

“Ki.”

One word.

My answer.

“I gotta go.” I hung up before he could say the words I hated to hear and put my phone on silent. All my life, I was never the one. I was never the one to get a second glance when I walked through the door. I was never the one who got invited to the parties or sleepovers. I was never the one people wanted to hang with, not even when I was in theater. People barely noticed me.

I knew Alexa had come out of her room and she went straight to the kitchen. “Wine?”

Putting my chin on the side of the couch, I nodded yes.

“If he wasn’t married . . . ”

“He’s getting a divorce,” I stated.

“How much do you like him?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe it’s just the idea of someone like him, liking someone like me.”

“Knock it off with that crap. You’re a catch, Ki, always have been.”

“No, not true,” I reminded her of my braces.

“It’s very true.”

I sat up and she handed me my wine. I took a drink, waited for her to get comfortable, and started again, “He didn’t pick me.”

“Technically, he’s still married.”

“Brayden.”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “We always come back to Brayden.”

“I still love him, Alexa.” I felt my heart skip a beat and my eyes filled with tears. “I love him so much, and we were good together. I didn’t know that he was seeing someone else, so when I got sick, and he took her to that wedding instead of me, it was over. Something about that night made him choose her over me.”

“It’s not your fault you were sick.”

“I could have suffered through it.”

“It’s also not your fault that he was seeing the both of you, Ki.”

“I don’t know how to get it back.”

“Get what back?”

“My heart. I still love him. I dream about him once a week. I wonder what our life would be like if I had gone to that wedding with him. I should have gone with him regardless of how I was feeling. He would have picked me, Alexa. I would have been the one if I had gone to that wedding instead of her. It’s my biggest regret.”

She shoved her wine glass at me and stood. Raising her hand in the air, she said, “See this shit up here? That’s the pedestal you put Brayden on. He’s still on this fucking pedestal, Ki, and you need to kick him off. He doesn’t belong up there. You don’t,” she waved her other hand much lower, “belong down here. You didn’t make yourself sick. You didn’t make him date the two of you, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve you.”

“Lex.”

“Stop the shit, Ki. It might have felt like love, but honestly, I don’t think it was. You’re living in the past for some man who didn’t want you.”

“Well then.” I tipped my glass back and took a large swig.

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, Ki; just honest. Open yourself up to the possibility that someone like Prescot or Lucas could love you.” She sat back down, and I handed her wine glass back. “I know he’s the first and only person you’ve been with, and I think that’s why you’re hung up on him. Take him off that damn pedestal and put yourself on it.” I thought about her words, and she was right, well, maybe about most of it. “You need someone to love you, Ki. Truly love you, not just with words, but with actions. Then you’ll realize that you don’t love him anymore.”

We both took a drink of wine, and I wondered if my feelings for Brayden were real or just lingering because I hadn’t allowed myself to move on. I’ve not had one date since him.

Not one single date.

I mean, I could date Josh, but I didn’t have the right kind of feelings for him.

Prescot, on the other hand, I could date him. I was attracted to him. I liked the way he looked at me. I liked the way he said my name. His dimple. So hot.

Lucas looked at me the same way, and he admitted he liked me. Prescot, not too much.

“Lucas did give me flowers.”

She smiled. “How weird is that?”

“Very. He knows way too much about me but won’t tell me why.”

“It’s sweet that he’s protecting you though.”

“Protecting me from what though? It doesn’t make any sense. My parents live far away, and we haven’t talked in years. I don’t have extended family that I’m close with. I have you, Lex, that’s it.”

“I love that you have me, Ki, but maybe something’s changed?”

“But what? What could be going on that someone like Lucas, a man that hides in the shadows, would be protecting me from?”

 “We’ll figure it out.”

I was done thinking about my life for the night. “Yes, but first, let’s finish this bottle of wine.”