Chapter 14

Izzie

I’m sitting here in Brady’s guest room and the place seriously looks like a hotel. As soon as I walk in, I feel paralyzed by how extravagant all of it is.

The sheets are plush and brand new. The bed’s a gigantic king size with an expensive, intricate headboard that looks like it costs more than my entire college education. There’s even a massive 84-inch flat screen TV that’s hooked up with an Xbox, a Playstation 4, an Apple TV, and a Roku.

Geez, now he’s just spoiling me. Surely he didn’t buy all this stuff just for me and Liam, right?

Honestly, since arriving here, I’ve been feeling the weirdest mix of emotions. I owe Brady big time for everything he’s doing for Liam.

When Brady said he would roll out the red carpet for us, he certainly delivered on that promise. I’m honestly surprised. I expected a lot less from him.

And it’s not that Brady’s some disgusting guy who would make me and Liam stay in some Playboy mansion full liquor and hookers, but…is it wrong that a part of me did think that?

It’s just so confusing. There’s the Brady that’s right in front of me who’s incredibly nice, generous, and has the most gorgeous eyes that I can simply fall into.

And then there’s the Brady of my memories. The one who ruined my family. The cocky football quarterback who collected girls like trading cards only to break their hearts and then travel across the country to become a flashy, rich jerk.

So which one is the real Brady?

God, I feel so disgusted with myself for feeling this magnetic connection whenever he’s around. Just the way he brushes against me, or the way I notice his muscles subtly formed beneath his shirts.

Why do I notice these things?

And when that spark happens, it’s like my world stops and I can hear my heart beating in my ears as I awkwardly wait for it to stop.

It’s like having an addiction to something I’m deathly allergic to.

And with me being so weird around him, I’m fearful that he’s going to find out about everything. After all, here I am showing off Liam to him.

Geez, am I being really careless here?

Liam looks just like Brady. Same face, same eyes—everything. The only thing they don’t have in common is hair color.

Liam’s hair has always been dark like my sister’s. They even have the same personalities. That’s probably why they’re getting along so well.

Brady doesn’t strike me as someone who likes kids, but he and Liam are like best pals. It’s almost as if Liam is Brady’s ‘mini me.’ They both have that competitive and playful spirit and are both extremely confident.

Crap, is Brady going to find out?

He and Liam are now playing video games together, bonding, and who knows? Maybe Brady will turn to him and the little wheels in his brain will start cranking.

He’ll start to think, this Izzie character sure is strange, and she seems so familiar. Her brother kind of resembles me as well. Wait a minute…

I can see it so clearly now in my head. Although thankfully Brady doesn’t seem like the over-analytical type.

Hopefully he doesn’t put the pieces together, because he absolutely can’t find out.

I know it’s risky being here, allowing Brady to get closer to me and Liam. But once again, I can’t help but feel conflicted.

Even though I don’t want to stay here for a week, when Brady met us outside and took our luggage and humored Liam, I couldn’t help but feel kind of…relieved?

I’ll be honest, I’m still skeptical about Brady. I’ll never forget what the old him did to my sister, but he’s older now. Maybe he’s grown up and changed. Maybe he’s not the monster I’ve been hating and blaming for years.

Maybe I haven’t been fair to him. After all, my sister never told him about the baby. Maybe he would have stayed if he had known.

My sister was so stubborn and naive. She’s gone now, so I guess I don’t have any choice but try to understand and respect the choices she made. But damn was it hard to stand by her through all that; and I know it wasn’t an easy decision for her either.

Because of her sacrifice, Brady is now a big shot football player—I mean, look at this place! This place is a palace. There’s no way he’d be this rich and famous if he stayed in Texas and helped raise Liam.

In a way, it’s all so bittersweet. My family had to fracture in order for Brady to have his success.

And knowing all of that, how can I be sitting here thinking about him like I’m a dumb teenage girl?

Why the hell am I even entertaining such an asinine idea?

Seriously, get it together, Izzie! Start thinking with your head for once.

Because even if Brady wasn’t the dick who killed my sister, dating athletes are completely off limits. I could lose my job, and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Why would I throw that all away just for fucking Brady, the man I’ve despised for years?

The fact that I’m even sitting here having a mental conflict about the whole thing proves how far gone I am. It would all be so much easier if he clearly didn’t like me back.

Although I was a tad rude to him about it, the veggie pizza option was very nice of him; I’m not even sure why I even declined the slice. I was touched, but I think I was afraid of showing any positive emotions toward him.

I don’t want him to get any ideas—especially now that I’m in his house and sleeping in his bed.

I suppose that’s also why I was terrified when he asked me to play foosball. Now that he knows I have a sister, will he put the pieces together? That was really stupid of me to bring her up at all.

He probably thought I was being icy cold and distant on purpose. Little does he know that the truth is so much worse. So, so much worse.

I can’t imagine how he’d react if he ever found out. God, he’d be furious.

Would he take out his anger on Liam?

Oh, please. What am I saying?

He’ll definitely take out his anger on me. After all, it is a pretty messed up thing to keep from someone—which is exactly why he can never find out.

My sister wanted the secret to die with her, and I must maintain her secret—it was her dying wish. I just wish the person who ruined her life looked like a troll and not like Adonis. It would make this whole complex situation a lot easier to navigate.

Ugh, this bed is so soft. I can live here forever.

My mind’s on autopilot as I wonder what Brady’s bed looks like. Is his bed as comfy and perfect as this one? I bet he sleeps right dab in the middle with his rock-hard arms all spread out.

When I touched him on his shoulder a few minutes ago, I could feel every ripple under his shirt. Feeling the warmth of his skin suddenly made me very aware of his body. Just imagining it brings that ringing back to my ears.

And now I feel ashamed of myself again.

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with finding Brady attractive, right? He looks like Hercules; how can anyone not find him to be a total babe—which he is? And from the way he struts about the stadium, I can tell he knows it too.

But that doesn’t mean I have to initiate anything. I can keep my distance from him, and handle the rest of the week as professional as possible. At the end of the day, we’re co-workers.

And yes, we have a deeper history together, but no one has to know about that.

What would my sister think of me messing around with her ex? Liam’s dad? She’d probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

In the meantime, I just have to monitor my feelings the best I can. After all, the body wants what it wants, but I must be stronger than that.

As I sit on his amazing, soft bed, I repeat to myself, Brady’s the dick that killed your sister. Brady’s the dick that killed your sister. Brady’s the dick that killed your sister.

It’s just a little attraction. That’s all. Nothing more.

I plop myself down on his bed with a resounding thump and sigh.

God, this bed is actually heaven.