Secrets and Lies
Ava had been left alone to stare at a hospital meal she didn’t want, especially since she’d been forced to brush her teeth before she’d barely opened her eyes. She loathed nurses who were too efficient and far too cheery early in the morning, like the girl now attending to her needs.
‘How shall we wear our hair today, Ava?’ she chirped.
When she snagged a knot Ava winced. ‘How about we wear it the way we always do, in a bun at the back?’
After a sleepless night in the hospital, unnecessary in her opinion, Ava was in no mood to be patronised. While she would have preferred to get up, wash herself and do her own hair, she still felt a little unsteady on her feet. Last night’s dizzy turn had frightened her, especially as it had followed yesterday’s unsettling series of palpitations.
‘Mum!’ Nina barged into the room. ‘You had me so worried. Tony told me you collapsed.’
The nurse looked at her watch and frowned.
‘A simple faint, darling. I’d been in Tony’s hot tub yesterday, too long and without anything to keep me hydrated. That’s the crux of the matter.’
‘I’m so sorry we fought.’ Nina rested her head on her mother’s bony shoulder.
‘It’s fine – I’m fine.’ As Ava rested a hand on her daughter’s head to stroke her hair she caught the nurse’s eye. ‘Thank you, but my daughter’s here now and she knows how I like my hair. Don’t you, darling?’
‘Yes.’ Nina took the cue, and the hairbrush from the tray table. She sniffed back her tears.
‘Good-oh,’ the nursing aid said on her way out. ‘I’ll check with the discharge nurse as soon as she comes on duty.’
‘Maybe you can try wearing your hair down for now, Mum? I like it.’
‘Enough about my hair! How about you just brush, like the old days?’
Hair-brushing had been a nightly mother-daughter ritual when Nina was young. She would sit cross-legged on the floor between Ava’s knees, her wild red mane fighting back with each stroke. When it was her turn to brush, she’d perch on the back of the sofa. The first time Nina had asked about the bare patch on the back of Ava’s scalp was the first time she’d lied to her daughter. The truth about Lenore dragging her along the hallway by her hair was too awful. That had changed a few weeks ago, in a hospital room like this one, when Ava had had to explain the portrait. She had finally told long-held truths about Lenore. She didn’t want to leave her children wondering about their heritage, as Lenore had her, but now she had to wonder if every time Nina looked at her own red hair and freckled complexion she, too, might wonder who Donald McNally was.
‘Where have you hidden them, Mum?’ Nina had stopped brushing, but remained at Ava’s bedside holding her mother’s hair in one hand, her spare hand ferreting in the bedside drawer. ‘Your hair clips, where are they? If you want your hair up I’ll need them.’
‘Perhaps leave it for a bit, Nina. That was so lovely, you might give it another brush.’
‘Of course I will. I also want us to start having Sunday lunch together.’
‘Do you? That would be fabulous. You look tired, darling.’
‘Road restoration works south of Rocky slowed the trip.’
‘You drove down from Candlebark Creek overnight?’ Ava tutted. ‘I told Tony not to worry you. The last thing I wanted was you travelling that highway at night.’ Ava let her daughter fuss and drag the sheet higher to make a neat fold where it lay on her chest. She itched to get up and sit in a chair but the nurse had insisted she should wait.
‘Don’t blame Tony. I did stop to rest when all those headlights got too much, but I wanted to be here first thing. I stopped for a nano-nap. Besides, I’m getting pretty familiar with that road.’
‘Familiarity breeds complacency. Over-confidence behind the wheel is never a good thing.’ Ava cast a glance out of her window. ‘And the rising sun is as blinding as headlights. You might’ve run into something. What if you’d broken down in the dark?’
‘We weren’t too far behind her.’ A man’s voice silenced them, and as Ava turned towards the door she tried to blink away the sunspots that floated in front of her eyes. ‘I hope you don’t mind more early visitors.’
‘Blair!’ Nina raced over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. ‘I’m so glad to see you, but you didn’t have to come.’
‘Try telling that to the old man.’
John Tate stepped through the doorway and stopped beside his son. ‘Hello, Ava. I did insist on accompanying Blair, who seemed determined to follow Nina once I told him about her visit and about the phone call.’
‘And here we all are!’ She sounded a little sharp and ungracious, but this situation made her feel vulnerable, not something Ava was used to.
‘I brought flowers.’
‘Yes, John, I see that.’ She smiled at the spray of colourful carnations he held. ‘They’re lovely, thank you.’
‘Let me find a vase.’ Nina relieved him of the flowers, despite his stranglehold on the stems. ‘You can help me, Blair, come on.’
‘Do you mind?’ John asked Ava, pointing at the leftover breakfast tray. He picked up the unopened packet of juice. ‘Apple. My favourite. If you’re not planning on drinking it…’
‘Help yourself.’
He was already peeling off the foil lid. ‘You know what they say about an apple a day?’
Ava knew the answer. If only she could think straight. Keeping her cool was taking every scrap of concentration.
He drank it quickly. ‘Much better. Too many hours driving that appallingly narrow national highway has left me quite rattled, although the officious nurse at the desk was the most challenging part of my journey. I do hope you won’t send me away and make me face her again without a rest. I’ll sit for a bit, if you don’t mind.’
‘Oh, so that part of my first visit you do remember.’
‘Ava, I’ve remembered every second of our time together since you knocked on my door. I’m hoping you’ll help me with everything else.’ John pulled a visitor’s seat close and perched on the edge.
She met his gaze and saw the familiar glint in his eyes. ‘I gather you’re finding something about this situation amusing?’
‘I’m trying to.’ He rested a hand on hers. ‘Seeing you sitting up and still alive makes me happy, but I suspect you’ve always made me smile.’
‘You do?’
The grin wavered. ‘Thanks to your daughter I’m beginning to understand some of the crazy thoughts I’ve been having since you turned up on my doorstep.’ He shifted onto one hip to dig something from a back trouser pocket. ‘I wonder if you can explain this note.’ Without looking at the writing, Ava recognised the paper bordered with tiny pastel cupcakes. She saw the torn edge, remembered ripping the page from her notebook, the one she always carried to scribble recipe ideas or shopping lists. ‘I only know it is not written by my wife,’ he added.
‘How do you know that?’
‘I read it. My wife never loved me like this.’
‘John, your timing is not ideal. Could this not have waited until I was at home?’
‘We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think? I’m here and not going anywhere until we’ve talked. Unless that officious nurse discovers that my son and I slipped the net.’ He chuckled. ‘One thing I do remember about hospitals all those years ago was waking up and not seeing anything familiar. I wanted to be here when you woke up. I wanted you to see a familiar face. Mine.’ John’s hand squeezed hers. ‘So, no more waiting. You and I need to talk.’
‘Seems my son isn’t the only child struggling with the simple concept of don’t tell.’
‘I’m glad Nina came to me. There’ve been enough secrets. Time to unlock the truth and I believe you hold the key to the years I lost.’
The one thing Ava had dreamed of and dreaded in equal measure was happening in front of her. ‘It was all so long ago, too long, John, too late.’
‘I knew as soon as I saw you standing on Ivy-May’s doorstep. You looked at me in a way that… Well, I put what I felt down to déjà vu. Then, inside the house, you talked about miracles and Fate. So, if you won’t talk about us, let’s talk about Fate. You’d be doing me a favour by spending time with me.’
‘How, John?’
‘While my past is a bit of a blur, what’s clear to me is that I’m remembering. I’m recalling things from the past that make no sense because there’s no Katie in any of them – only you. I’m seeing glimpses of my life, but I need help interpreting them and putting things into context. If there’s any chance of me recovering my lost years I need you, Ava. Will you help me remember? Can you do that for me?’
‘If you do something for me first, John.’
‘Anything,’ he said.
Ava reached for the nurse’s buzzer. She had to get out of this place. Hospitals reminded her that she was sick. ‘How long does it take to arrange discharge papers? Get me out of here, John.’
*
Nina fell into a chair as she and Blair passed through the waiting room.
He dropped next to her and draped a comforting arm across her back as she bent to put her head between her knees. ‘Hey, are you okay? What do you need? I’ll get it for you.’
‘A bucket.’
‘You mean for the flowers?’ He tugged the bunch of carnations currently being crushed on her lap. ‘These are beyond water.’
‘I think I’m going to be sick, Blair.’
‘Oh, ah, that sort of bucket. Right, hold tight.’
He was back quickly, shoving the plastic hospital-issue sick bag under Nina’s nose. ‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’
‘What did your dad say on the trip down?’
‘Bugger-all, except for a whole lot of muttering. He’d managed to put away a few glasses of wine on top of a whisky or two before we left, which meant several stops along the way. Then he fell asleep. I gather he and Mum had a set-to, but aside from that, not much else he said made sense – not to me at any rate. I gather it will to you. I didn’t even know you were at Ivy-May last night.’
‘I’m so sorry, Blair, I was going to come to you first. I wanted to clear up this Conrad business. I never lied to you.’
‘That was one thing Dad did say on the way down and it made sense. He filled me on the Conrad situation, the one I’d been too stubborn to hear from you after the cyclone, when you’d wanted to explain. Then we talked about my ex-wife.’
‘Oh?’
‘He knew I was thinking about asking Veronica for a DNA test to find out if Tyson’s really mine.’
‘And what did he say about that?’
‘He asked me why I needed to know and if the result of the DNA test would make any difference to the way I feel about Tyson. At the time I’d thought his response a bit odd, but he’s been acting a bit weird since Ava’s arrival in town. Then he said, “DNA doesn’t make a man a father. Love does. Even when a son is all grown up, he’s still a son.”’
‘I really like your dad. Wish he was mine.’
‘Ah, well, I’m kind of glad he’s not.’ Blair nudged her. ‘So, are you going to fill in the blanks for me?’
‘You do have some catching up to do, but this isn’t the right time.’
‘Of course, Nina, I’m sorry. You have your mum to worry about. I’m being selfish.’
‘No, Blair. Mum gave Tony and me a scare, all right, but she’s back to her old self, in case you didn’t notice.’ Nina was so busy trying to imagine her mother and John right now that she could hardly figure out where to start the story. Instead she showed Blair the photograph of the portrait on her phone. ‘I’ll give the summary version. Your dad will have to do the rest. Deal?’
‘Any information is better than none. I hate secrets, and lies are worse.’
‘I get that, but it’s not my secret. I can tell you it was your dad’s portrait of Mum that started all this…’ She told the story quickly, concluding, ‘So, right now, Mum is probably telling John it’s too late for them and that she’ll never allow herself to be a burden to anyone. John will no doubt argue back, but he won’t win.’
‘You don’t know my dad.’
‘You don’t know Ava.’