Chapter 8
Drew
It was Saturday night and I hadn't seen Jeanette since Wednesday when she took me riding for the first time. I had tried to make another date with her, either for a horse riding lesson or a bike riding session, but she had declined both, telling me that things were too busy for her to get away. It felt distinctly like I was getting the brush off.
I searched my mind for a reason why. Had I said something to insult her? Had she taken offence to our near kiss? But none of it rang true. I had no idea why she was suddenly avoiding me and I didn't like it.
Tomorrow I was taking Freddie, Will and Dom out on the bikes and I looked forward to some male bonding time. I don't know what male bonding looked like when you had a prince and an earl and the Lord Chancellor as your companions, but at this stage I was willing to try anything in order to get thoughts of Jeanette out of my head. The woman was driving me to distraction.
In an effort to get out of my own headspace, I'd ventured into a local restaurant for dinner and a quiet drink. I had no qualms about dining alone, I quite liked my own company and I enjoyed people watching. At least it would give me something to do other than drive myself crazy thinking about the fickleness of women.
I sat with my back to the door and gave the sommelier the nod after tasting the wine. He filled my glass as I perused the menu. The food looked good and I was impressed with their use of local ingredients. I had developed a bit of a discerning palate after travelling all over the world and dining in the finest restaurants, although I was yet to find anywhere that could make pumpkin soup as good as my mum.
The waiter approached and I gave him my order as the table behind me was seated. I didn't turn around, I had no desire to know who they were. I was close enough to listen to their conversation and I could draw my own conclusions from that. It was a little game I liked to play.
“I thought you would have made a bit more of an effort,” the man said, “Considering the ensemble that you wore the last time we dined.”
“You don't like my dress?”
The familiar voice made me freeze. That feminine voice belonged to Jeanette, I would know it anywhere. But what was she doing here and who was she with?
“The dress is fine, but it is last season and a little on the casual side for this restaurant, don't you think? I expect someone as plain as you are to take more care with your clothes in order to make the most of what little assets you have.”
Was this guy serious? Jeanette was far from plain and I was pretty sure she would look good in a hessian sack.
“You didn't even do anything with your hair. Don't you have a lady’s maid?”
“I have two,” she said meekly, “And they did do my hair and my makeup.”
“Well I see that I shall have to find you new ones once we leave for London. Their skill is nowhere near what it should be in order to be in service to a viscountess. I have a reputation to uphold and I certainly won't put up with my wife being the source of gossip because she doesn't know how to dress in public.”
London? Wife? What in the name of all that is holy was going on? Surely Jeanette wasn't engaged to this guy? And who was he anyway?
“Of course, Lord Cameron,” she said and I couldn't believe the submission in her voice. Who was this stranger with the voice of the woman I was falling for?
And Lord Cameron? That twat that I had seen her having dinner with who looked at me like I was lower than the chewing gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe? Why on earth would she even consider marrying him?
“I'd also like you to get a new wardrobe. Don't you have a stylist in the palace? Maybe you should make use of her before you resign your position. We will be attending more than a few functions while I'm here and I don't want to be embarrassed by your lack of style. We need to make a good impression from the start. Rumours will no doubt travel back to London and I don't want our marriage to get off on the wrong foot.”
I had heard enough. I took the napkin off my lap and laid it carefully on the table. I then stood and took my time buttoning my suit coat before I turned and walked the few steps that would bring me to their table. I looked at Jeanette. She was stunning in an emerald green dress, her hair cascading around her shoulders in big messy curls and her lips a dewy pink.
“Excuse me,” I said, nodding to Lord Cameron before turning a smile on Jeanette. “I was unfortunate enough to overhear your conversation and I had to intervene.”
Lord Cameron spluttered at me, his mouth gaping at the audacity of someone interrupting him. “How dare you—”
“No, mate, how dare you. How dare you insult this stunning creature? You should count yourself lucky that the lady has even consented to you being in her presence. You’re fortunate that she hasn't slapped your face for your rude behaviour. Are you such a style icon that you presume to know what is fashionable? And, mate, are you blind? Lady Jeanette is a rare beauty, a precious gem and you treat her like a piece of costume jewellery. You don't deserve her.”
Jeanette gasped and looked at me with big, round eyes. Lord Cameron turned the colour of an eggplant as he fought to find words to answer my accusations.
I smiled at him and bowed to Jeanette before walking away. I could not stay there another minute and listen to the crap coming out of that man’s mouth. I apologised to the maître d’ as I left and walked out into the balmy night without looking back.
“Drew, wait!”
I turned around to see Jeanette following me out of the restaurant, her date nowhere to be found.
“Did you mean everything you said in there?” she asked and then blushed, looking away from me. “I mean—”
“Yes,” I said, “I meant every word. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I don’t understand why you’re with him.”
She bit her lip and wouldn’t look at me.
When she didn’t answer me, I spoke again. “Is it true, what he said? Are you marrying him? Are you moving to London?”
“Yes,” she said, “But—”
“I’m really very sorry to hear that,” I said, turning away.
She grabbed my coat to stop me. “You don’t understand—”
“No, I don’t. Maybe you can explain it to me. Why would you marry someone like that?”
“It’s what my family wants. He’s a viscount…”
She petered off, as if him being a viscount would explain everything, only it didn’t. I still didn’t understand why she would subject herself to someone like him.
“My family expects me to marry a peer,” she tried to explain and then shrugged, “Lord Cameron has offered for me.”
I shook her hold off my suit coat and swore under my breath. “What is this? A throw back to Jane Austen? So what if he has a title, is he a good man? Do you love him?”
“There is more to marriage than love,” she said, but I didn’t think she believed the words herself. They sounded more like something that had been drummed into her from a young age.
“Is there, really? And what is that? What more could there possibly be that is more important than love?”
“Respect, companionship, mutual goals.”
I snorted in disgust. “And you think you’re going to get those things from him? I didn’t hear any respect in the way he spoke to you tonight.”
“He has high standards—”
“That’s a load of crap,” I spat. “He’s an arrogant jerk who looks at you as nothing more than a trophy or an accessory. What is so great about him that you would give up your independence and your job to marry him and move to London to live the life of a pampered socialite?”
“He and my brothers have made an arrangement—”
“They’ve arranged a marriage for you like some bad Victorian revival?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. They have a business arrangement—”
“And you’re part of the deal?”
“No! And stop putting words in my mouth. If you would just shut up for a moment and let me explain, then maybe you would understand.”
A sudden silence fell between us at her outburst. She took a deep breath and I reached out to cup her cheek.
“Where was that woman when he was insulting you? You sat there and let him disparage you without even a word. Where is the Jeanette I know who speaks her mind and buys a hot pink Ducati and wears leather?”
She blushed and stepped out of my reach, breaking our contact. “She is immature and selfish and I am attempting to outgrow her. I know you don’t understand, but I need to do this for my family. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do anything for your family if they asked.”
“I’d draw the line at marrying someone I don’t love,” I replied.
“Well, that’s a luxury I don’t have.”
“That’s rubbish,” I said, frustration and temper rising again.
“I know you don’t understand,” she said reaching out to lay a hand on my arm. Her touch burned, but I didn’t want her to let go. “Please, I don’t want to fight with you but I need you to believe me when I say that I know what I am doing and that this is my choice. I don’t want to lose you as a friend because of this.”
I groaned and closed my eyes, looking to the heavens for inspiration. She was friend-zoning me because of some misguided loyalty to her family. A family who should only want the best for her and should recognise that Lord Cameron was not it.
“Please Drew.” Her voice was quiet and the desperate plea I heard in it broke down my resistance.
“Fine,” I said on a sigh, “But I want you to tell me the moment he starts to mistreat you so that I can come and knock his block off.”
She stepped close and put her arms around me, rising up on her toes to brush a chaste kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you,” she breathed in my ear and I held her close, not willing to let her go back to the moron who waited for her inside.
“I mean it,” I said as she moved out of my arms and away from me, “The very minute he acts like a douchebag, I want to know.”
She smiled at me as she walked away, giving me a little wave over her shoulder. I stood rooted to the spot even after she disappeared from view. Never had a woman had so profound an effect on me and I really didn’t know how to deal with the fallout. She was going to marry someone else and it wasn’t because she was in love with him, but because she was doing what her family wanted. How do you fight that? How do you fight against something that has all the hallmarks of being noble? It was my own selfishness that wanted her not to marry him. Was I any better for wanting to force my will on her than her family was for trying to force theirs?
Jeanette
“You were gone a long time,” Lord Cameron said as I took my seat.
“He needed a lot of convincing,” I replied.
“Uncouth colonial. It’s just like those convicts to think they can interfere where they are not wanted.”
I kept my own thoughts to myself, although the words burned in my throat. I so wanted to unleash on him and tell him that he was the distasteful one, the one who had his head so far up his… well, somewhere unpleasant anyway, that he couldn’t see straight. Lord Cameron was so completely absorbed in himself that it would take a miracle and probably a lobotomy to get him to notice another human being. And I was the idiot who was committing my life to him.
I sighed and picked up my glass to sip my wine. I hadn’t been lying when I told Drew I knew what I was doing and that it was my decision. How could I deny my mother’s dying wish? Surely living as a viscountess wouldn’t be so bad. I could live in the country while Lord Cameron looked after the estate affairs in the city. I would only really have to bear his company infrequently. Yes, I would have to have children, but women had been doing that for centuries with men they despised. Besides, perhaps I might grow to like him. I wouldn’t dare hope for love, but maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had first thought. Maybe all this posturing was for my benefit or for the benefit of my mother and brothers. Maybe he thought that the more arrogant he seemed, the more respect he would get. I really didn’t know the man at all and to be honest I hadn’t really tried to get to know him. That was my fault entirely. I had gone into the whole thing with a bad attitude, which in turn could have influenced his behaviour.
“So tell me about your home in London,” I said.
“I have a townhouse in Belgrave Square—”
My mind wandered as he droned on. I couldn’t believe Drew had actually stood up for me like that. No one had ever defended me. If anything, others were more than willing to jump on board and give me their rather derogatory opinions of me. Drew was the first person to see me differently. I didn’t think for a minute that he really believed I was stunning or beautiful or any of those other words he had used to describe me. I knew I was plain and that I had no real redeeming features, but to hear him defend me anyway was somewhat of a revelation.
I wished things were different. I wished that I was free to choose the person I would spend the rest of my life with. I knew that if I really couldn’t go through with marrying Lord Cameron that my brothers would make other arrangements, but Mother had her heart set on me gaining a title. Would it be such a hardship?
If I could choose my own husband, Drew would have to be up there with the top three, probably even number one. None of my previous boyfriends had ever had the nerve to stand up for me against anyone. I somehow knew that if my brothers were to make disparaging remarks about me, Drew wouldn’t be afraid to step in there too. There was something so… comforting about having someone defend you. Okay, maybe comforting was completely the wrong word, but I couldn’t think of a better one. Either way it made me feel safe and cared for, like I had more value than as just an incubator for the next generation. I couldn’t imagine how women in times gone past had any sort of self-esteem, not when they were completely stripped of their humanity in some cases. And I suppose it wasn’t just in old times that it happened. Every day girls were being demoralised because of their sex and made to feel less than. Only a couple of months ago Priscilla had found out that her father had sold her when she was a child so that he could get out of debt. Who did that?
My own situation was nothing like that. I was walking into this marriage with my eyes open and of my own free will. No, I was not in love with Lord Cameron, but I would make it work. That’s what I did. I was always making the best of a bad situation, it was what made me so good at my job. I knew how to reframe the narrative, I knew how to spin the story. It would be the same with this marriage. Lord Cameron may be gaining a Stepford wife, but I would be getting something out of the union too. I was getting security and stability, a roof over my head and a life that some people only dreamed of. I would be part of the London peers, which was nothing to sneeze at or complain about. And I would become a viscountess, a lady in my own right. Isn’t that what I’d always wanted?
“It sounds lovely,” I said when Lord Cameron finished speaking, and it did. A townhouse on Belgrave Square where the elite of London had lived for more than a century? Who could ask for more? Lord Cameron might be high maintenance, but he wasn’t ugly to look at or cruel. He was just a little too self-absorbed and far too worried about what other people thought. These things I could live with, wasn’t my mother just like that? I had survived living with her for most of my life and that meant I could survive living with Lord Cameron. And who knew what might happen when we were behind closed doors. Perhaps underneath all that social veneer was a heart of gold.
“I’m really glad that you’ve decided to see things my way,” Lord Cameron said. “I know that it is for the best, for both of us.”
I smiled winningly at him and then dropped my eyes to the food on my plate, no longer hungry. Why didn’t I believe him?