Posing in the nude had to be the most erotic thing she’d ever done. Also the most nerve-racking. An hour later, Lauren stood naked as the day she was born in the center of Trent’s living room. Her nerves were shot. Every limb shook.
After drying each other off and getting dressed, they’d finished breakfast before making their way to his apartment on the other side of town. Upon arriving at his place, he’d set up his workbench, which sat on the far-right wall of the living room, and laid a flat, three-foot-by-five-foot piece of wood on the surface. Then he’d asked her to undress.
He now studied her with intense scrutiny, as if she were a work of art. She supposed she was to him at this moment, but his gaze seemed to penetrate, made her skin tingle and her stomach do somersaults. Undressing in front of him when they were intimate, distracted by his wandering hands and heady kisses, was one thing. Watching him dissect her bits and parts was another entirely.
She twisted her hands together. “Where do you want me?”
His gaze finally refocused on hers. Those blue eyes searched her face for a moment before he crossed the space between them, hooked her around the waist, and pulled her close.
“Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.” He caressed the back of his fingers along her cheek and inclined his head, indicating behind her. “Lie down on the sofa and get comfortable. I’ve turned the heat up a bit, but if you get cold or you just need a break, let me know, okay?”
She nodded, and he brushed his mouth over hers, then released her and stepped back. She tried to do as he asked, to find a position that made her feel sexy, but all she felt was awkward and way too aware of her every imperfection. “Like this?”
“Relax, doll.” He dropped to his knees beside her and bent his head to her breast, enveloping the puckered tip in the warmth of his mouth.
Pleasure flooded over the surface of her skin and Lauren gasped, arching her back. Seeming to know exactly what she wanted and needed, he cupped her in his palm, massaging and kneading and suckling. In seconds flat, he had her shivering, her thighs spreading, the ache in her core building to unbearable proportions.
What she wanted—needed—was his fingers back between her thighs, stroking and exploring…
She shifted her restless legs over the sofa, tried to arch her hips to make some sort of contact. “Touch me. Please.”
Trent pulled away instead, sat back on his heels and scanned her body.
“Much better.” He tapped her lips with his index finger. “Now don’t move.”
Then he rose to his feet and returned to his workbench.
She sagged into the cushions and playfully glared at his back. “Tease.”
He chuckled and picked up a tool, then twisted at the waist, peering back at her with that intense, focused gaze. “Seriously. Stay just like that. I promise I’ll make it up to you, but I wanted you to relax.”
He was right, though. Damn him. It worked. Her nervousness was gone. Except now she was wet, and her clit throbbed. Well, two could play at that game.
Taking her cues from him, she ran the tips of her fingers around her nipples, idly circling them. His nostrils flared, and Trent drew a deep breath, his gaze glued to her fingers. So she cupped her breasts in her hands and massaged them the way he had. Glancing down his body, Lauren watched a distinctive bulge form behind his zipper.
She hoped he’d come back and finish what he’d started. Instead, Trent cocked his head to the side, studying her as if suddenly seeing her differently. After a moment, he nodded. “Touch yourself.”
Her heartbeat skipped. It took all of two seconds for her to realize what, exactly, he meant. “Surely you aren’t going to carve that.”
He returned to the sofa and dropped to his knees beside her. His gaze traveled her body, his hand following, caressing her curves. Over her belly. Down her hip. Along the front of her left thigh. “You’re beautiful, and your little display there inspired me. Close your eyes. What’s your favorite fantasy?”
Every inch of her tingled in response, her skin coming alive beneath his touch. The answer to his question was too easy. “You. Watching you stroke your cock.”
Oh yeah, she’d said that word on purpose. She’d noted his reaction the last time she’d said it, the surprised, hungry gleam in his eyes. If he planned to torture her, she’d get hers.
He groaned and leaned down, capturing her mouth, a luscious tangle of lips and tongues and softly biting teeth. Just enough to make her want. To make her arch her back, desperate for him to touch her again.
Like last time, though, Trent pulled back. “I had plans to bury my mouth between your thighs when I was done, but all right. Do this for me, and I’ll let you watch again.”
The thought made her clit pulse in delicious anticipation. Her hands wandered down her stomach, slipping into her drenched folds. She caressed her aching clit with the tip of a finger, enough to light her body on fire. To tease him. “Let me watch now.”
She hoped he’d cave. She should have known better.
While a bonfire lit in those gorgeous eyes, Trent turned his mouth to her ear, soft lips she knew damn well felt incredible between her thighs teasing her skin as he spoke. “Make yourself come, Lauren. I want to capture that, how fucking beautiful you are when you relax and let yourself go.”
The husky tone of his voice had her body liquefying and melting into the sofa cushions. She couldn’t deny him if she tried. Giving in, she nodded, and he brushed a soft kiss across her mouth.
“Thank you.” He pushed to his feet and returned to his bench.
Lauren closed her eyes and immersed herself in the fantasy. The memory of his hand on his stiff member. How long and beautiful he was. The sounds of his arousal. The scent of it that filled the air. Every image that flooded her mind took her back to that moment, and her fingers flew in a desperate rush for relief over her aroused flesh. Despite that she was naked, heat erupted along her skin. Her breathing increased, her blood roaring in her ears.
When she reached the part of the memory where he’d thrown his head back and growled as he came, her orgasm slammed into her. Her back arched, and she cried out, her hips bucking into her hand as intense pleasure flooded through her.
“Fuck.”
Trent’s quiet curse came seconds before his mouth settled over hers. His kiss was hard and desperate, his tongue restless in her mouth, demanding a response. When she was pliant and willing and lifting off the sofa to get more of him, he released her and leaned back.
Lauren opened her eyes. Trent knelt beside the sofa, his eyes heavy-lidded and burning through her, breaths as harsh and erratic as her own. The silent acknowledgment moved between them, and she nodded. He gripped her hands and tugged her to her feet, moving down the hallway to his bedroom with long determined strides.
He halted at the foot of his bed and gripped her face in his hands, his mouth coming down on hers, hot and hungry. For a brief moment it became all about that luscious tangle of lips and tongues. Lauren wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself as close as she could and rubbing her nipples against his chest for the sweet friction.
Just as suddenly as he’d kissed her, Trent released her. He reached back over his shoulder and yanked off his T-shirt, dropping it to the floor at his feet. She helped him out of his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them, then sinking into a crouch as she pulled them down his legs.
He stepped out of them, leaving them wadded on the floor, and pulled her onto the bed with him. He stared at her as she lay on his chest, eyes full of fire. “Straddle me.”
His hoarse demand sent a wave of heat straight through her. She nodded, braced her hands on his chest, and pushed upright. Thighs on either side of him now, her core settled over the length of his erection as she sat back on his hips.
“Just like this.” His large, warm hands slid up her thighs to cup her ass, his hips rocking beneath her, showing her what he wanted. His thick erection slid along her slippery cleft, nudging her now-super-sensitive clit.
Lauren moaned, her eyes closing. Her thighs trembled as pleasure erupted through her. “Oh God, that’s good.”
Trent swore under his breath, his fingers digging into her hips as he set a hard and fast rhythm. She thrust against him in turn, grinding and sliding along his length. The sounds of their pleasure filled the room. His harsh breathing. The quiet moans she couldn’t have contained if she tried. Their bodies surged together, pushing against each other, desperate for relief from the fire they’d created in each other.
Another orgasm exploded over her, and Lauren gasped, shaking and jerking as the luscious spasms took her. Beneath her Trent stiffened, thrust against her one last time, then held her firmly in place and groaned from deep within his chest.
She collapsed on top of him. Every limb shook, this time from exhaustion and satiation. Their harsh, erratic breathing filled the otherwise silent room, chests heaving as each attempted to drag in much-needed oxygen. Lauren pressed her face into his neck, immersed herself in his scent, and let it wash over her. Trent banded his arms around her back and turned his head, pressing his cheek to hers.
How long they lay that way, she didn’t know, but neither moved. Lauren couldn’t find the will. A connection spawned between them in that moment she couldn’t deny or ignore. He held her too tightly, and she had no desire to put any distance between them. The longer she lay there, the more the realization settled over her.
“I don’t want to wait.” She murmured the words into his neck but couldn’t bring herself to look at him. If he denied her, she couldn’t bear to see the regret fill his eyes. “If all I have is two more weeks with you like this, I want it all. I want to spend every night making love to you, and I want to wake up beside you every morning. No more slow. No more waiting. If we’re going to continue this, we need to go all out or it needs to end here.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart thudding in painful anticipation of his denial. His excuse. His half-hearted reasons why he needed distance. She was falling in love with him, and she couldn’t do it anymore. If she was losing her heart to him, she wanted all of him in return. When the two weeks were over, she’d let him go.
“Agreed.” He turned his head, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Your place or mine?”
Lauren lifted her head. She hadn’t expected him to say that.
He gave her a gentle smile, his hands caressing her back. “I can’t deny I want the same thing, but the rest of the deal still stands. In two weeks this ends.” His hands stilled on her back, his expression solemn. “I won’t lose you.”
She stroked his cheek, enjoying the soft scrape of his stubble against her fingertips. “Who says you will?”
Her heart swelled and ached at the same time. The thought of going back to being just a friend to him made her sick to her stomach. Beyond a shadow of a doubt it would break her heart. Who’d have thought it? Her first love would be a man she’d known for most of her life. A man she’d have to continue to see.
She’d just have to deal with it, though. She wasn’t stupid enough to think he could love her back. He’d just told her as much.
Neither could she regret spending this time with him. She’d treasure it.
Trent blinked at her for a moment before his expression went carefully impassive. He lay silent. She didn’t have to ask to know he’d drawn into himself, that he likely wouldn’t tell her what he was thinking, and like every other time, it created distance between them. It had never bothered her before, because it had always been about the war. The memories that haunted him. This time it seemed to be a reaction to their conversation. After everything they’d just shared, it became a side of him she couldn’t reach.
He confirmed the thought when he diverted his gaze, his fingers busy stroking her skin. The curve of her ear. Along her jawline.
“I’m bound to disappoint you, Lauren. It’s better for both of us if this stays short-lived. I’m not sure I could handle it if you hated me when this was over.”
She drew a breath and released it. “Going back to being just friends won’t be easy, Trent. I’m not sure I’ll be able to turn all of this off just because you want me to.”
His fingers stilled and his gaze jerked to hers, eyes widened slightly. As if what she’d said hadn’t ever occurred to him. “Would you rather end this now?”
She had to be honest with him here, too. “No. I’m not sorry for this. When I signed up with Military Match, I wanted to lose my virginity to a nice guy. Someone who’d make it something I’d remember with fondness. And that’s you.”
The tension in his body drained, relief washing across his features. His hands caressed her back again, soft, soothing. “I think you’re wrong. We were friends before this. We’ll be friends after. That was the whole idea.”
She sincerely hoped he was right.
“As for where we do this…” She glanced down, tracing her fingers along his bottom lip. “Where would you be more comfortable? My place or yours?”
“Yours. I hate this apartment.” His fingers resumed their torment of her skin, skimming her spine, leaving tingles in his wake. A sudden smile bloomed in his face. “How ’bout we go out tonight?”
She drew her brows together. He’d rarely left his apartment since he’d come home unless it was to go to work. She was pretty sure their first date was his first social outing. “Out where?”
One shoulder hitched, his eyes following his fingers as he reached up to tuck her hair back out of her face. “A bar? Club maybe? I don’t know. Something fun.”
She pursed her lips, worry tightening her stomach. “Can you handle a place like that? It’ll be noisy and crowded…”
He let out a sardonic laugh. “I haven’t a clue. I’ll probably get overwhelmed. But I promised myself when I came home that I’d do everything they couldn’t.” He turned his head, peering across the room in the direction of his closet. “AJ would’ve turned twenty-one this month.”
Her heart clenched for the grief he clearly hadn’t let go of yet. She stroked her fingers over his chest, offering him what she hoped was a pleasant smile. “Then we should go have a drink in his honor.”
His gaze returned to her, warmth and something that looked a lot like relief shining in his eyes. “Exactly. I’m hoping you being there will help.”
She brushed her mouth over his. “I shall do my best to keep you distracted, then.”
* * *
As it turned out, Lauren kept her promise. They ended up in a jazz club. The place hosted a local live band every night, and you could order food and drinks while you watched them play. Okay, so he preferred eighties hard rock, but while the place was full, the space didn’t give him the sensation of being closed in. The music wasn’t thundering through his head or setting off a flashback, but was mellow and soothing.
Seated in a booth at the back of the club, Trent was nursing a beer. Lauren had chosen some fruity, icy mix. Being here amazed him. He hadn’t been in a bar since before he’d come home. Or hell, a restaurant for that matter. Normally, he couldn’t handle crowded, noisy spaces. Tonight, though, Lauren’s presence beside him soothed whatever raw nerves he might have had.
She turned to smile at him, a soft, self-pleased light in her eyes. “You’re enjoying yourself.”
“I actually am.” So much so he couldn’t wait to get her home. When he’d agree to their new arrangement, he’d had all kinds of lofty plans. He’d make her wait until tomorrow night, and he’d do it right. Take his time. Seduce her with wine and dinner. Hell, she deserved it. And more.
Now? Now he ached to feel her supple skin against his. To bury himself inside of her and make her a part of him. She was right. If all they had was another two weeks, he wanted as much of her as he could get. He wanted to make love to her until they were exhausted and spent. Then fall asleep wrapped around her. Since their conversation earlier, he couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said. He’d pondered continuing what they had only to come to the same conclusion. The thought of losing her still scared the crap out of him. Eventually he’d push her beyond her tolerance. He’d fail her, the way he had AJ and Cooper and, hell, even Wendy. And then she’d hate him.
He ought to be letting her go. Let her find someone else who could give her everything he couldn’t. Continuing even for the next two weeks was selfish and he damn well knew it. But he couldn’t make himself end it.
He wanted this time with her. Memories to take with him when it ended, to keep him warm in the dark loneliness of night. But he had no desire to wait until tomorrow to make love to her.
He blindly groped for her hand, threading their fingers once he found it, and leaned his mouth beside her ear so she’d hear him over the music, and because he meant the words only for her. He prayed she understood. “Tonight.”
She nodded, shivering against his side. Her eyes drooped to half-mast, burning through him. She shifted their combined hands, sliding hers over his thigh beneath the table and inching upward. In two seconds flat, he was hard, his cock swelling and thickening behind his zipper.
He halted the movement of her hand before she managed to reach her destination, and shook his head, then turned back to the band. She made him feel…human. Normal. She’d taken him places he didn’t think he could have gotten to on his own. And he wanted to hold on to it for just a while longer.
They spent the next hour sipping drinks and sharing a basket of fries. Needing the physical connection, he kept hold of one of her hands, idly stroking the delicate inner skin of her wrist. Her awareness of him prickled in the air between them, creating a delicious but relaxed tension.
When the band took a small break, Lauren leaned toward him, her warm breath whispering over his cheek. “Time to go home.”
The husky tone of her voice had his cock swelling to life all over again. He nodded, because he couldn’t have refused if he tried.
She stood, pulling him up with her, and he took a moment to drop a tip for the waitress on the table before letting Lauren pull him outside. They’d agreed before leaving to take a cab home. Waiting on the cool, darkened Seattle street, he stood behind her, arms wrapped around her. She leaned her head back on his shoulder, but her hands were restless, sliding up and down his thighs.
The cab ride itself had to be the most torturous drive he’d ever endured and seemed to take forever. They rode in unbearable silence, the tension prickling in the air between them. Antsy with anticipation, he couldn’t keep his knee from bouncing. His erection pressed painfully against his zipper, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it because they weren’t alone.
Lauren seemed to enjoy his torture. One glance at her had him swallowing a groan. Mischief and amusement danced in those gorgeous eyes, mixing with a heat that only added fuel to the blaze in his belly. “Restless?”
The minx.
He rolled his eyes, but damned if he could stop his smile all the same. “You’re enjoying my torture far too much, doll.”
She squeezed his thigh. “Going out was your idea.”
He shot her a sideways glare, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to take that hand burning through his jeans and curl it around him just to ease the ache. “So it was.”
Twenty minutes later, the cab finally stopped in front of her house. Lauren released his knee and climbed from the car. Trent took a moment to pull his wallet from his back pocket. He got out two twenties and tossed them at the driver, but didn’t wait for change.
By the time he’d jogged up the front walk and made it onto the porch, Lauren had the front door unlocked and was pushing it open. Striding up behind her, he grabbed her around the waist, sweeping her inside and shoving the door closed with his foot.
She squealed, then let out a giggle that made his heart pound with a giddy sense of euphoria. He was already shaking, his desire so keen he wasn’t sure he’d actually make it to the sex.
Fuck. It had been too damn long since he’d felt this…free. And it was all her fault.
He yanked her against him and sealed his mouth over hers. Her happy giggling became a quiet moan that set his blood on fire. Lauren plastered her lithe body against his, pushing her breasts into his chest, and reached down. When she popped the button free on his jeans, he groaned into her mouth.
The energy between them exploded. Piece by piece, clothing got ripped off and tossed aside, littering the floor as they made their way to the bedroom. He lost his shirt on their way past the sofa. She lost her bra outside the hallway bathroom. His jeans made it all the way to the bedroom doorway before she sank to her knees and yanked them down.
Once over the threshold to the room, she released his mouth and backed away enough to peel her panties off—a lovely red satin pair. After stepping out of them, she pressed along his length and claimed his mouth again. She was beautiful like this, sure of herself, taking what she wanted. Just that much, the luscious slide of her warm, satiny skin against his, nearly made him lose what little control he had.
It didn’t help that her hands were doing exactly what his were—roaming. Over his chest. Down his abdomen. She slipped them beneath the waistband of his shorts, pushing them down his thighs. The fabric barely hit the floor before she was wrapping herself around him again.
Another groan ripped out of him. God, she felt good. Her taut nipples rubbed his chest with her every subtle movement. Her hands were warm, her skin smooth and creamy. His aching erection became caught against the softness of her belly. It was all he could do not to grab her waist and rub himself all over her, for the glorious freedom of his cock sliding against her warm, satiny skin.
He needed to be inside her more, though, and tumbled her to the bed, settling himself over her. Her quiet demand this afternoon had cracked his shell. He needed this. To feel her body beneath him and to bury himself so damn deep inside her he might never see the light of day again.
What he needed the most…was to be a part of her and, in turn, to make her a part of him. The intensity of that need scared the living shit out of him, but he couldn’t deny it either.
All sense of play faded as he settled between her thighs. Lauren stared up at him, her body trembling beneath him, big brown eyes liquid and tender. He stroked the hair back off her face, enjoying the simplicity of its softness sifting through his fingers. He needed to take this slow. Lauren was a virgin, and if he sank deep, he’d hurt her.
She slid her hands up his back, thighs bending to cradle his hips. “You’re shaking.”
“Because I need you.” He brushed a kiss across her mouth and moved off her long enough to retrieve the condom from his pants pocket. After putting it on, he settled himself over her again. His nerves got the best of him then. His stomach twisted. “There’s no easy way about this, doll.”
“Then don’t think about it.” Lauren claimed his mouth, slid her hands down his back to his cup his ass, and arched against him. He slid home in one slick, deliciously slow thrust, her body wrapping around him like a warm, wet glove.
Lauren winced and squeezed her eyes shut, trembling beneath him for all the wrong reasons. A sick sensation rolled through his stomach. Fuck he hated this. Sex wasn’t supposed to cause pain. Damn it.
“I’m sorry. I promise it’ll get better from here on out.” Desperate to make up for hurting her, he rained kisses over her cheeks, her nose, her mouth. “Open your eyes, doll. Look at me.”
She did as he asked, but instead of tenderness or need, her eyes searched his in apprehension.
So as he moved slowly within her, he leaned on an elbow, using one hand to caress any part of her he could reach. Down her side and over her hip. Her breast and nipple. All the while watching her eyes and hoping his touches would slowly ease her anxiety.
“Touch me.” He brushed a tender kiss across her mouth. “Forget the pain and touch me.”
Her eyes searched his, still full of too much nervousness, body still a little too stiff beneath him. “Where?”
“Wherever you want.” He sipped at her mouth, determined to make that fear—because that’s exactly what it was—leave her eyes. “Nothing’s changed. It’s still just me. Focus on me.”
She nodded, her hands finally beginning to move over him. Up his back to his shoulders. Back down to cup his ass. The more she touched, the more she relaxed beneath him.
“That’s it.” Every muscle in his body tensed with the effort it took to go slow. She was so hot and so fucking tight. If he moved any quicker, he wouldn’t last. He reached down and pulled one leg over his hip, changing the angle and easing in deeper. “Move with me.”
Lauren nodded and rolled her hips, thrusting against him. Her pelvis glided against his, and she moaned, this one full of pleasure. Her eyes rolled back and closed. “Oh, that’s nice.”
He let out a breathless laugh. His ego wanted “phenomenal” and “unbelievable” and “sex God,” but that one small sound was a salve on his soul. The knots in his shoulders finally unraveled. That sound meant she’d begun to enjoy herself.
So he bent his head to her neck, suckling any part of her he could reach. “Want to know what you feel like for me?”
He rocked against her, pushing in deeper, and she moaned again, this one tortured and full of sweet agony. “Y-yes.”
“Hot. You’re hot, doll. And so fucking tight.” Another thrust as they rocked against each other pulled a deep groan out of him. A ripple of pleasure moved through him, and his control slipped another notch. “You feel incredible.”
Slowly but surely she relaxed, no longer nervous but rising to meet him with an ever-increasing tempo. With every thrust, she urged him on with soft moans of “Oh God” and “Sooo good.”
“Fuck.” He dropped his head into the crook of her shoulder, losing himself in…her. Her soft scent, her body beneath him, around him. Her pleasure was the ultimate turn-on. Every sigh and moan only ramped up the need burning through him like wildfire. Like he was a kid all over again, with no ability to control himself.
No. If he was going, he was taking her with him.
He rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him, and pushed her legs flat. Then he slid his hands to her ass, gripping her tight, and thrust up into her, showing her what he wanted. This position would be better for her.
“Circles, doll.” He lifted his head, nipped, licked, and kissed her neck, her shoulders, her jaw. “Roll your hips. Grind against me.”
He showed her a few times what he meant, causing her clit to rub his pelvis and him to slide inside her in slow, delicious increments. She went limp on top of him, dropped her forehead onto his shoulder, and moaned into his throat.
He turned his head, murmuring into her hair, “Let it go. Come with me, Lauren. Come with me.”
The moan she let out next sounded torn from deep within her and filled his whole being until there was nothing but her. With every thrust, she rolled her hips, panting and mewling into his throat, and with every one, he pushed deeper, moving faster. The need to somehow fuse with her pounded around inside his chest.
She let out a quiet, indrawn gasp, and her hips gained a jerky rhythm, her inner muscles clamping around him with the start of her orgasm. Trent lost his hold on what little self-control he’d ever had and came, blinding and hot. All he could do was hold on to her as she took his careful world and spun it beyond his imagination.
When the spasms ended, Lauren dropped onto his chest, body limp, breathing as jagged as his. She slid her hands beneath him, hugging him hard, and pressed her face into his neck.
“Don’t let go.” Her voice came as a bare murmur into his throat, filled with a vulnerability that pulled at the deepest part of him. “Please don’t let go. Not yet.”
“I won’t.” Trent wrapped his arms around her in turn and hugged her just as hard, his chest aching. How the hell could he ever let her go after this?