Lauren clenched her jaw to keep it from hitting the pavement. For a long moment, she could only stare at Trent’s outstretched hand. Was he serious or playing a cruel joke? The light blue color of his buttoned-up shirt suggested he was telling the truth. Her date was supposed to be wearing blue. But the color was common for this type of shirt. It could just be a coincidence.
Except Mandy had mentioned that Trent knew Karen. What Mandy distinctly hadn’t told her, though, was that Trent had signed up with Military Match, too.
She lifted her gaze to his. “You’re my date?”
Trent dropped his hand and glanced at the sidewalk, going silent for a moment. He’d changed since coming home. He’d always been a man of few words, but that side of him had grown since he’d gotten out of the service. He often drew into himself, as if his mind had wandered. Part of his PTSD, Mandy had told her once.
That wasn’t all that had changed, though. The military crew cut he’d worn for almost forever had grown out. His hair was now long enough to run her fingers through. He also seemed to be keeping a day’s worth of growth on his jaw. Scruff looked good on him. The black leather jacket, however, he’d had since she’d first met him. It was well-worn and soft.
Just as she wondered if she’d have to pull him back from his memories, Trent tucked his hands in his pockets and looked up at her again. “Looks like it. I was told the same thing, to meet my date here. So far you’re the only brunette I see wearing blue.”
What were the odds of that happening?
Her conversation with Mandy came rushing back. “I know a hot military guy who’d be right up your alley…”
The little rat had done it anyway. Mandy had signed her up for this stupid dating service knowing her brother had signed up, too, then played matchmaker.
Lauren folded her arms and diverted her gaze to the building on her right, praying it was too dark for Trent to notice her scorching cheeks. This didn’t get any more embarrassing. “I’m going to kill your sister.”
Trent’s brow furrowed. “What does Mandy have to do with this?”
Lauren dropped her arms. “She’s the reason I’m here. Military Match was her idea. She signed up the three of us, me, her, and Steph, and told me about it afterward. Clearly, she set me up”—she waved a hand in Trent’s direction—“with you.”
Trent studied her for a moment, blue eyes searching. Seconds later, his features sobered. “She couldn’t have.”
If she wasn’t so damned embarrassed, Lauren might have laughed at the irony. She’d have to fill him in. Of course, she could lie her way out of this, but she never ran from a fight. She believed in facing what God set in her path. Mary had taught her that.
Swallowing her pride, she sent up a silent prayer the right words would appear in her mouth, that he wouldn’t laugh in her face or she wouldn’t puke on his shoes.
Heart hammering like a freight train, she forced herself to hold his gaze. “She could have and it looks like she did. She knows I had a huge crush on you in high school.”
She pulled her shoulders back and waited. Yup. If that didn’t seal the deal on her humiliation, she didn’t know what would.
Trent didn’t react at all the way she’d anticipated. He smiled. Damn him. “I know.”
Her stomach rolled with nausea, and Lauren folded her arms. The gesture made her feel stronger at least. Not so much like she wanted to melt into the sidewalk. “Of course you do.”
He let out a quiet laugh. “Sorry, but you weren’t very good at hiding it. I’d look at you and you’d blush to the roots of your hair, then giggle. Lord, you two did a lot of giggling when I was around.”
The heat in her cheeks deepened, until she was sure her whole head had caught fire. God, it didn’t get any better than this. Having powers of invisibility would be fantastic right about now.
Desperate to play it off, Lauren waved a dismissive hand at him, but couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. “It was the military thing. Guys in uniform have always done it for me.”
Apparently not done tormenting her, Trent nudged her arm. “What, you mean it wasn’t my charming personality?”
Lauren met his gaze. Trent’s eyes gleamed with playful impishness, and everything south of the equator liquefied. No way could she let him get away with teasing her, though. After all, she was here to get laid, right? Who better to practice her flirting on than a man she could never have? She and Trent were just friends. No doubt he’d laugh again and they could dismiss the whole notion.
The sooner he did, the sooner she’d stop feeling like she’d just told him she was from Mars, and the sooner they could get back the comfortable companionship they’d developed over the last year. Okay, so deep down, it wasn’t what she wanted with him. Not really. Spending time with him often left her feeling caught between a rock and a hard place. Knowing he thought of her as little more than another sister was painful at times, but it was better than nothing.
She let her gaze trail over him. “Nope. Definitely the uniform. You looked pretty hot in yours.”
There, let him chew on that for a while.
Trent tipped his head back and laughed. Despite knowing he laughed at her, the deep, husky sound still lit up her insides, shivering all the way down her spine and straight into her panties. She’d always loved that sound. Trent didn’t laugh often, but when he did, every pair of panties within a two-block radius melted. Hers included.
Before she could do much more than react, Trent grabbed her hand and headed for the Starbucks entrance. “Come on. Let’s go get some coffee. We’re here. Might as well enjoy the evening.”
Too stunned by the feel of his hand in hers, all rough and work-worn and so damned warm, Lauren stumbled after him like a lovesick puppy.
Several minutes later, they sat inside at a small, round table by the front window. A little after six p.m., the sun was dipping below the horizon, darkening the already dreary day. The sidewalk around them teemed with people, coming and going about their evenings.
Across from her, Trent sat back in his seat, his gaze set on her. He’d been studying her for a good minute now but had yet to say anything. She could see the wheels of his mind turning in the way those intense eyes searched hers. It drove her nuts, because she’d kill to know what he thought. She’d admitted to having a crush, but somewhere over the last few minutes, while standing in line and ordering coffee, Trent had retreated into his head. As usual.
Finally, he set his coffee cup on the table. “Can I ask you a question?”
She plunked her chin in her hand. Hell, at this rate, she really would be a virgin until she died. “Oh, yeah, sure. Ask away.”
“Why do you even need a dating service, anyway?”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “Yeah, like I’m the catch of the county. See the men waiting in line behind me?”
Trent blinked at her. “I’m serious. You’re warm, and you have a great sense of humor.”
Lauren laughed. “Trent, that’s what you tell a woman you find ugly. You lie, to spare her feelings, and tell her what a great person she is.”
Trent dropped his gaze to his cup. “You’d be surprised how many men I served with who just wanted a nice girl to come home to.”
She waved a hand at him and sipped at her coffee. “Being nice is highly overrated. I’d rather be drop-dead gorgeous. Like Skylar. Now, there’s a woman with a perfect figure, and she’s forty-two.”
Trent’s twin brother, Will, was engaged to a woman five years older. Skylar was smart, the CFO of the telecommunications company the two worked for. She was a perfect size six, with curves where they were supposed to be. She was sweet as Southern iced tea, but Lauren always felt about as attractive as a light pole next to her.
Trent lifted a brow. “Who says you aren’t drop-dead gorgeous?”
Lauren scoffed. “Oh, I don’t know. Every man currently not beating down my door. Every date I never heard from again.”
His coffee cup paused halfway to his mouth. Trent blinked at her like she glowed toxic green.
Lauren narrowed her gaze at him. Despite the chill in the air, she sweltered beneath her sweater and coat. “And if you tease me, I’m going to beat you over the head with my purse.”
This whole conversation was nudging her insecurities. The geeky virgin nobody seemed to want. The owner of a bakery renowned for its beautiful wedding cakes who had yet to find a love of her own.
His stunned facade finally broke, a grin easing across his face. He sat forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Sorry. I just have a hard time believing that.”
“Oh, believe it. I could ask you the same thing, you know. Why the need for a dating service? Surely you of all people don’t need help in that area.” To cover the sudden flush rising in her cheeks, she winked at him. “SEALs are a hot commodity, according to Mandy and Steph.”
Trent shrugged. “I needed a date for Will and Skylar’s wedding. If I bring a plus one, Mandy won’t try to fix me up, and believe me, she’s looking forward to it. She seems to have taken it upon herself to find me a new wife.” He rolled his eyes, one corner of his mouth hitching.
Lauren laughed. “Well, at least I’m not her only victim.”
Trent chuckled and sipped at his coffee. “Forgive me if I’m not honored to be in the club. The dating service was a friend’s idea. Will is the only one who knows I’m here, which is how I know Mandy didn’t set this up.”
She sighed. All she could be at this point was honest. What the hell did she have to lose? Her humiliation was already complete. “I chose that particular service because the woman who runs it has a good reputation for the kind of clients she accepts.”
Trent nodded. “Karen makes sure her clients are all decent people. Yeah. That’s why I used it as well. Even though it’s a more serious dating site, not one of those apps for casual hookups, I’m not ready for a full-out relationship. Wendy…kind of took it out of me.”
The mention of his ex-wife had the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head. Funny how her growing crush on him had the ugly feelings cropping up. She’d never felt this way back when they were married. Now she couldn’t deny she was jealous of all the things Wendy had had with him. Had and given up. Lauren dropped her gaze, muttering half to herself.
“Wendy was a bitch.” When Trent laughed, she flashed him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but she was.”
Trent held up his hands and laughed again. “You won’t get any arguments out of me. That’s another reason why I used this particular service. I have far too much shit going on in my head right now. With my PTSD, I can barely take care of myself, so I’m not looking for something serious, which is what I told Karen.”
His casual mention of his disorder had her mind shifting gears. Trent had come a long way in the last year, but he still tended to avoid crowds and public places. Which was why it surprised her he was here at all.
She reached out to touch him, needing to offer something, but thought better of it and pulled back, curling both hands around her cup. “Still have trouble, huh?”
One shoulder hitched in half-hearted fashion. He sat back in his chair and shifted his gaze to something behind her. “It comes and goes. I don’t sleep much.”
His gaze took on a faraway look, his eyes going glassy and unfocused, an expression she’d long since learned to recognize. Trent often got lost in his memories of the war. Was he lost now? Or just remembering? Recalling what his mother had told her about his disorder and how to gently pull him out it, she drummed her fingers on the table. “How’s your leg?”
He’d broken the femur of his right leg in two places when an IED went off. They’d pieced him together with plates and screws, his mother had told her. She recalled months of physical therapy. To this day, he walked with a slight limp.
Trent’s gaze returned to her. He blinked; then recognition dawned in his eyes. He reached beneath the table, and experience told her he was rubbing his right thigh. He did it often, though she’d never been certain whether it was a habit or because his leg still hurt.
“It aches when it rains. I’m looking forward to summer and a little dry weather for a change.” A sudden grin broke across his face, and he pointed a finger at her. “You don’t get off the hook that easily, you know. You never answered my question. Why use a dating service?”
She shrugged. “I want to lose my virginity before I’m too old to enjoy sex, and I’m kind of picky. I’d rather my first time be with a nice guy and not the selfish pricks I’ve managed to find. Mandy and Steph think I’m nuts, but….”
She let her words trail off as Trent froze in front of her. Like she’d told him she was from freaking Mars, he stared at her wide-eyed. “You’re a virgin? At twenty-seven?”
Lauren rolled her eyes. Out of everything she’d told him, of course he’d focus on that. As if it were the most absurd idea he’d ever heard. Hell, it probably was.
She hiked her chin a notch, determined not to give in to the urge to shrink back and blush. Steph wouldn’t. So tonight she’d pretend to be a little more like Steph. “I wasn’t supposed to be after tonight.”
He studied her for a long moment. Then his brows rose practically into his hairline. As if he’d suddenly gotten her none-too-subtle hint. “Wait a minute…Were you planning to seduce your date tonight?”
Another statement spoken like he couldn’t believe it was even possible.
Deciding to grab the proverbial bull by the horns, she held his gaze. It didn’t make her feel any less like she glowed toxic green, but she felt stronger at least. More fortified. “Right out of his uniform.”
Tension moved over Trent. He jerked his head to the right, looking down the street, and mumbled something under his breath. She didn’t quite catch what it had been, but it sounded an awful lot like, “Lucky son of a bitch.”
Every inch of her tingled with sudden awareness. While some part of her brain told her to leave this conversation alone, the part of her that secretly crushed on him refused to let it go. Tonight was supposed to be about stepping outside her comfort zone. If she wanted to get laid, she’d have to learn to do this. Right?
So she stared at his profile, drew a deep breath, and sent up a silent prayer. “Excuse me?”
His gaze darted in her direction. He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted in his seat. “I said I find it hard to believe that you’d need to try so hard to have sex. If I were your date tonight, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”
Her heart thumped a hopeful beat. Surely he hadn’t admitted he was attracted to her?
God help her. She had to know. “You are my date tonight, and that’s a non-answer. What if I told you I’m glad I ended up with you tonight? What if I made you that offer? What would you do then?”
Maybe it was the wrong thing to say to him, but hell, if she was going for broke, she might as well put it all out there. Maybe he’d do something really crazy and admit he was attracted to her, too. Or take her up on her indecent offer.
Trent turned his head, looking off down the busy street. “That’s flattering, doll, but I’d have to turn you down.”
When her heart sank into her toes she realized she’d spent the last few moments hoping. Seeing the impassive expression on his face made her chest hurt. Clearly she really was just a friend to him. The woman no man seemed to want. To hear it from him, of all people, only made it sting more. Maybe it was a stupid schoolgirl’s crush, but it still stabbed at her heart to see the rejection on his face.
“Thanks for the coffee. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” Too embarrassed to stay any longer, she pushed away from the table, wobbling her way toward the light on the corner. What a complete and utter disaster. Maybe she was better off as a virgin. No man to let her down at the end of the night.
Behind her, Trent let out a quiet curse, but Lauren ignored the sound and kept walking as fast as she could on what felt like stilts. When she was halfway down the sidewalk, he darted in front of her, forcing her to stop. She made to sidestep around him, but he caught her arm and ducked down to look her in the eye. “What did you want me to say to that? You’re my sister’s best friend. Not to mention I’m ten years older than you.”
She forced herself to hold his gaze, but her insides wobbled. “Nothing. Stupid me.” Brows furrowed, she glanced down at his hand, glaring at his grip on her right arm. “Do you mind letting go of me?”
Trent let go of her arm and instead tucked both hands in his jacket pockets. He gave a slow shake of his head, remorse rising in his eyes. “I came home a year and a half ago with my head full of sand and feeling sorry for myself. Out of all the family and friends who barged into my life and insisted on helping me, you were the only one who didn’t make me feel like a fucking invalid. You fed me, cleaned my messy-ass apartment, and sat with me, most of the time despite the fact that I told you, more than once, to get the hell out. And you didn’t ask for a damn thing.”
He lifted a hand, his gaze following as his fingers slipped through the ends of her hair, which had fallen over her shoulder. He was quiet for a moment, something melancholic and intense written in the lines of his face.
“I think you’re an amazing woman, Lauren, and I think those guys who didn’t want you were asshats. Don’t let anybody tell you that you aren’t beautiful. But I just can’t risk hurting Mandy’s best friend.” He dropped his arms to his sides and straightened his shoulders. “I’m honored you thought of me, though.”
Lauren rolled her eyes, because if she didn’t at least pretend flippancy, she’d cry. She’d been rejected a lot in her life. Her mother had always been too busy with the men she dated. In school, she’d been that tall, awkward girl most guys tended to overlook. Since Mary’s death, she’d been on so many failed dates she was starting to wonder if something was wrong with her. But this had to be one of her most humiliating moments. For the first time in her life, she’d put herself out there, stepped beyond her comfort zone.
Only to remember why she didn’t.
A rejection from him stung more than the others. Maybe he’d always been a fantasy, something she secretly hoped for but knew would never really happen. But it had been her fantasy, and she’d cherished the “what if.” And he’d just shattered it to dust by reminding her that he thought of her as little more than another sister. Reality unfortunately was a cold dose of ice water in the face.
“I’m just going to go.” She sidestepped around him and stalked down the street. She wasn’t sticking around to watch the whole date implode. Her already nonexistent self-esteem couldn’t take the beating.
She bent down, yanking off the stilettos one by one and hooked them on one hand, then hurried down the cool, rain-dampened sidewalk to where she’d parked her car down the block. Trent didn’t follow this time, and Lauren refused to look back. Never again. Men could go hang as far as she was concerned. Maybe she’d be a virgin until she died, but damn the lot of them.