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A SEAL's Honor by JM Stewart (3)

Marcus stood on the sidewalk, staring into the small bakery, unable to make himself go inside. He’d officially become a stalker. Following Mandy here was pathetic.

Inside Lauren’s Chocolates and Pastries, fluorescent lights made the shop glow against the dark night, lending the place a warmth that made him want to go inside. The small store sat on the corner in a strip mall a few blocks from Pike Place Market. Trent stood behind the counter with Lauren, his hands in his pockets. Across the counter, Mandy leaned a hip against the glass surface. The three looked cozy, like they were having a chat over coffee.

Marcus swallowed a groan. He should turn around and go home. If he went in there, Trent would know something was up between him and Mandy, and he had no desire to explain it. He only wanted to clear the air with her, but he couldn’t deny that the thoughts playing through his mind had very little to do with talking. No, they had everything to do with discovering how fast he could get her naked.

She could’ve bowled him over with a feather when she’d pulled her mask off earlier. His chest had filled with a mixture of elation and dread. Since the afternoon she’d walked into the motorcycle repair shop he co-owned with Gabe, Mandy had become a craving he couldn’t shake. More than a year had passed since he’d come to realize she was Trent’s kid sister, but time hadn’t curbed his hunger for her in the least. Rather, every time the gang got together and he had to see her, be near her, it only increased.

How many nights had he lain in bed, cock in his hand, easing the ache she’d created simply by laughing? He wanted things with her that weren’t his to want. That kiss four months ago had been perfunctory, little more than a peck, but oh how he ached to learn more. Like the flavor of her breath. Or the erotic slide of her tongue against his. Thanks to their dance tonight, he now knew the light in her eyes when she looked at him and the way her small, supple body felt moving against his.

Now he had to go inside that building and face her brother.

He couldn’t leave, either. Not without at least attempting to explain his reaction. The dejection in her eyes when she’d walked away from him five minutes ago had guilt eating at his stomach. He wasn’t good with words. Never had been. And all his fumbling had done was hurt her. So he might not be able to act on his feelings for her, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if he didn’t at least clear the air. At the very least, she deserved to know she’d assumed all the wrong things.

With a resigned sigh, Marcus pushed into the shop and halted inside the doorway. All three heads turned in his direction and every inch of his body tensed as he waited for reactions. Mandy’s eyes widened. Trent had the nerve to grin at him. Great. Mandy had clearly told them who her date tonight was.

Marcus forced himself to focus on Mandy. “It had to be this place, huh?”

Mandy shrugged. “My best friend owns this shop. I got all dressed up for a date that didn’t pan out. Figured somebody might want to have a drink with me.” She straightened away from the counter and folded her arms. Her eyes narrowed. “Stalking me now, Marcus?”

The mistrust and hurt in her voice made his shoulders slump. If that didn’t confirm his suspicions, he didn’t know what would. He had hurt her, and she was pissed at him. Rightly so.

He darted a glance at Trent, who stood watching the two of them with a curiosity that made his gut clench. There was no easy way about this. Any move he made now would clue Trent in that something had happened between them. If Mandy hadn’t told him herself.

Marcus dragged a hand over the back of his neck. Hell. He might as well get it over with, because he wasn’t backing out now.

He released the door and strode farther into the shop with a casualness he didn’t feel. “I wouldn’t have to stalk you if you’d stop storming off. I wasn’t finished.”

Mandy closed her mouth, a very becoming pink suffusing her cheeks. Trent let out an amused snort, but at a glare from Mandy, swiped a hand across his mouth and turned his head, taking a sudden interest in the back wall.

Marcus crossed the space between them and took her hand. “You’re coming with me.”

When he pivoted and strode back toward the entrance, she didn’t offer a protest, which was good, because he wouldn’t accept one.

“Just remember, Denali,” Trent called to him as he reached the entrance again, his voice full of amusement. “I know where you live.”

Unable to face his friend, Marcus kept going. He was breaking a rule, goddammit.

“Talking, Lawson. That’s all we’re doing.” He gave an exasperated shake of his head and pulled open the door, sending the chime dinging again. “And possibly coffee, because God knows, I need some sort of kick to deal with her.”

Trent chuckled. “Trust me, man. Whiskey’s better.”

Mandy jerked her gaze to Trent, eyes narrowed. “Hey.”

Trent laughed and held up his hands. Marcus ignored them both and pulled Mandy outside, moving down the street at a full stride. As soon as they hit the sidewalk, the muscles in his shoulders tightened and his gut knotted. He was now alone with her. With only his conscience to keep him on the straight and narrow.

God help them both.

Halfway down the street, she tugged on his hand. “Marcus, I’m wearing four-inch heels. Would you slow down?”

He halted mid-stride, drew a deep breath in an attempt to calm his jangling nerves, and forced himself to face her. A full momentum going, Mandy stumbled into him, ending up in his arms when his hands shot out to steady her. For a moment neither one moved. She settled her warm palms on his pecs and stared at him, eyes wide and this side of stunned. He didn’t know if he even remembered to breathe. This was, what, the third time tonight she’d ended up plastered against him? He had no desire to let go. Exactly why he should.

“I’m sorry.” He narrowed his gaze on her, as if somehow she were to blame for the fact that he couldn’t resist her. “You make me crazy.”

Hell, he couldn’t think straight around her period. She made his cock ache. God, he’d kill for a single weekend with her, simply to satiate his lust for her. That was why he always avoided her whenever the gang got together. He flat out didn’t trust himself.

Who was he kidding? He didn’t trust himself now, either, because the trouble was, were she anybody else, he wouldn’t hesitate to scratch that itch.

What he expected from her he couldn’t be certain, but amusement glinted in her eyes. “Ditto.”

“I’m trying to find a more secluded spot.” He glanced over her head at the street behind her. The sidewalk was full of people all moving toward their destinations. Two shops down, a giggly threesome of girls entered a jewelry shop. A small crowd waited on a corner for the light to change. A block away, the Starbucks sidewalk café was full. Where in all of this would he ever find a private spot to chat?

“For what?”

The suspicion in her tone made him look at her. She stared at him, brow furrowed, surprise in her gaze.

He frowned. “Don’t look at me like that. If I were to make love to you, it most certainly would not be in public.”

Shit. He shouldn’t have said that. Now the blasted images were parading through his skull like an erotic slide show. Her soft body pressed against his. Skin on skin. He could almost hear the cry she’d let out when she came…

As if she could read his thoughts, heat flared in her eyes. “Actually, sex in public can be pretty hot.”

Those words from her perfect little bow-shaped mouth had his imagination running on overtime. All too easily he could envision her, skirt hiked above her waist, back pressed against the brick building, riled up by the possibility of getting caught. His cock tightened, thickening against his zipper.

He dragged a hand through his hair. Jesus. She really would be the death of him. He’d die of sexual frustration, from lack of oxygen to the brain.

Spotting an alley between two buildings, he tightened his hold on her hand and pulled her into it. Once out of sight of most passersby, he pressed her back against the building. “This will have to do, because I don’t trust myself with you anywhere we could actually be alone.”

The corners of her mouth twitched, but her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “Again, you wouldn’t hear me complaining.”

He braced his hands on the brick beside her head, because if he put them on her, it was all over. He’d silence her sassy little mouth by possessing it, and then God help them both, because he didn’t think he could stop there. “I hadn’t intended to follow you, but I hurt you again with what I said, and that doesn’t sit well with me. Since clearly I’m not making my point well enough, I’m going to try this one more time.”

Mandy blinked, eyes heavy-lidded and burning through him. “I’m listening.”

Despite his best intentions, the warm breaths puffing against his mouth had him caving like a starving man in a sandwich shop. He leaned down, hovering over the soft temptation of her. “It isn’t a matter of whether or not I’m attracted to you.”

Mandy sagged back against the wall and rolled her eyes. “You’re beating around the bush, Marcus. Trying to tell me something but not actually saying the words. Just say what you mean.”

God, what was it about the sound of his name on her lips? He wanted to hear her moan it, preferably in the throes of an orgasm he’d given her.

Talking. They were only supposed to be talking. But nothing he’d said so far had come out the way he’d intended. He was fumbling, damn it. So he latched on to the first idea to flit through his mind: stop talking and show her.

He leaned into her and rocked his throbbing erection into the softness of her belly. “That clear enough for you?”

Mandy let out a quiet gasp, her fingers curling into his chest, and Marcus gritted his teeth. She felt so fucking good, soft in all the right places. He ached to rub his engorged cock over every inch of her warm skin. Christ. If he ever had the pleasure of her sweet body beneath him, his first time with her would no doubt be hard and fast and over in minutes. He’d probably blow his top the moment he slid into her.

“Make no mistake about it, angel.” Unable to resist touching her, he tucked a curl behind her ear. She had naturally curly hair, thick and coarse, but surprisingly soft, like the rest of her. God how he wanted to burrow his fingers into it. “It’s all I can do to not think about you. Ending up with you tonight wasn’t a disappointment, but more of a holy shit moment.”

One dark brow rose, but amusement glinted in her eyes. “Holy shit? That’s not exactly flattering.”

He let out a miserable laugh and dragged a hand through his hair. Could he screw this up any more? “You really don’t get it.”

Mandy’s cheeks flushed. “You’re my tenth date. I’ve made quite a lot of friends through Military Match. Every single man was truly a nice guy, but there was no chemistry with any of them. I’ve started to wonder if it’s me.”

Idiots. They were all idiots.

His fingers curled against the brick with the irritation sliding along his spine. Since the night she’d kissed him, every single guy he heard about her dating had gotten the same reaction. The idea of seeing her with one of them filled him with the burning desire to deck the jerk, toss her over his shoulder, and carry her back to his cave.

He leaned down, touching his nose to hers, so there would be no mistaking his meaning this time. “Any man who can’t see what a phenomenal woman you are doesn’t deserve you.” He forced himself to straighten before he did something he’d really regret. Like possess her mouth. Simply to make her forget everyone but him. To satiate the hunger burning a path through his blood. “The thing is, angel, I’m still way too old for you.”

“Again, not a problem for me.” Mandy mumbled the words under her breath, but loud enough he caught them. When he narrowed his gaze on her, she rolled her eyes. “Shutting up.”

The corners of his mouth twitched. God she had fire, and damned if it wasn’t the sexiest thing about her.

He skimmed his fingertips along the curve of her collarbone and swallowed a groan. Another touch he shouldn’t have allowed but couldn’t resist. She had the most incredible skin, so warm and smooth. Like butter beneath his fingers. What he wouldn’t give to wrap himself up in it.

He pulled his hand back. Focus, damn it.

He drew a breath and tried again. “You go clubbing on a regular basis. You grab life by its ears. I’d bore the hell out of you.”

Mandy let out a harsh laugh. “I sincerely doubt that.”  

She really hadn’t a clue. They were night and day and he wasn’t anything she needed.

“Once upon a time, I was you. Out drinking and partying until all hours of the night. Waking up with a hangover. These days, my life is a whole lot simpler. I enjoy the small things. My dog greeting me at the door at the end of a long day. Dinner on Sundays with Gram. And yes, occasionally, the company of a woman. I like sex slow and I choose my companions carefully.”

Hell, he was rationalizing at this point. The truth was, any other time, he’d want a woman exactly like her, someone who could hold her own. She saw her tomboy tendencies as something negative, but that was sexy to him. But he also needed someone who’d be okay with his life choices.

“Relationships aren’t my thing, angel. I don’t believe in love, and I have no desire to get married.”

The whole notion left a bad taste in his mouth. His parents had gotten married right out of high school because his mother had gotten pregnant. His father had been an angry, bitter man, resenting his and Ava’s presences. Not long after his seventh birthday his father ran off with a prostitute, of all things. His mother drank to escape, and then one day, when he was around ten, she dropped him and Ava off with their grandmother and never looked back.

The idea of getting married turned his stomach. It meant someday having kids, and he had no desire to risk scarring another human being. Hell, he already knew he wouldn’t be any good at it. Ava’s bipolar disorder had meant he’d had to take care of her, often as if she were a wayward teenager, and in the end, he’d failed her. Six months into his last deployment, Ava took her own life. Her death had only proven what he already knew.

“I’m not somebody to be relied on.” He stroked his thumb across Mandy’s chin, allowed himself a moment to get lost in the softness of her skin. “If I keep my relationships light, then nobody gets hurt.”

Mandy’s gaze searched his face, as if she were trying to figure him out somehow. “And yet men have. SEALs are teams. You rely on each other.”

He grunted his acknowledgment. She had him there. Being a SEAL was the one thing he’d done well. Hell, he’d thrived as a SEAL. The challenge and teamwork. But even there, he’d lost friends. Too damn many of them. And like Ava’s, every death hung on his soul.

Confusion filled Mandy’s eyes. “So why use a dating service, then? What did you hope to get out of it?”

“Because I’m human. I get lonely, too, and a one-night stand just doesn’t do it for me anymore.” He released a heavy breath. “What I need is someone I can see for a while. Someone my grandmother will like.”

“Wait…” Mandy cocked her head sideways. “You sought out a dating service to make your grandmother happy?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. Yeah, okay, so it sounded as pathetic as he’d assumed.

He stared out into the street beyond, watching the passing cars. “My grandmother’s the reason I am who I am, that I ended up where I did and not in a jail cell. I was a rotten teenager. Rebellious. Cocky. I’d gotten in with the wrong crowd and Gram yanked me out by my ear. She saved my damn life. Last year, she came down with pneumonia. Since then, she’s been laying on the guilt trip, telling me how much she wants great-grandbabies and wishes I’d settle down. The way I see it, the only thing that will make her happy is if she thinks I’m attached.”

“You want something temporary.”

He made a sound of agreement from the back of his throat. “I need someone I can bring to Sunday dinners, who’ll pretend to be my girlfriend but won’t expect anything from me. I need Gram to know I’m fine, and she won’t stop worrying unless she sees me with someone.”

Mandy’s intense gaze burned into him, but he couldn’t force himself to look at her. He had no desire to know what played in her eyes. Instead, he idly watched the car lights flicker over the buildings they passed.

“And if I offered to be that someone?”

He jerked his gaze to hers. Had he heard her right? “Why would you do that?”

“Because I think it’s sweet that you want to. Not very many men would go through so much trouble for their grandmothers.” She shrugged and laid a tentative hand against his chest. “It means you have a heart in here. That’s sexy in my book.”

He glanced down to where her small hand lay against his chest. Three layers of clothing separated them: his dress shirt, the T-shirt underneath, and a thick suit jacket. He ached to strip it all off just to feel those soft hands on his skin. For the simple pleasure of feeling her body against his again.

Mandy drew a shuddering breath. She slid her hands around his rib cage and up his back and leaned into him. Damned if he could stop his arms from coming around her in turn, or keep himself from leaning down and brushing his lips across hers. Holy Christ, she had the softest mouth.

Mandy pulled back first. Eyes still heavy-lidded and burning through him, she stepped out of his embrace and walked backward toward the street. “I’ll play the part of your loving significant other, have Sunday dinners with your grandmother, whatever it is you need. But I want one thing.”

He shouldn’t ask the question seated on the tip of his tongue, but something in his gut demanded the answer. “What’s that?”

“Nights with you. Think about it.” She winked at him, then pivoted and strode out onto the sidewalk, disappearing around the corner of the building a few pounding heartbeats later.

Marcus could only stand and stare. Just like that, with a few simple words, she’d brought all his fantasies of her screaming to the forefront of his thoughts. Temptation stared him in the face, and the effort it took not to follow her, not to drag her back into the alley, press her against this damn building and hike that skirt up around her waist, had his body a mass of tension. His shoulders ached. His hands fisted at his sides. His blood roared in his ears. Son of a bitch. She had to go and lay that offer on the table. Right then, he couldn’t think of one damn good reason why he shouldn’t take her up on it.

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