Chapter Six
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She’d said she’d marry him. Addison had looked him in the eye and said she’d marry him.
So why did he still feel so uncertain?
Maybe it was that despite her assertion, her earlier question still nagged at him.
That’s for the show, right? The whole thing about losing Base Camp? There isn’t really a developer, is there?”
If she’d thought the action on the show wasn’t real, why had she come? Did she simply want the experience of being on television? What other reason could there be?
What about the marriage aspect? She must have thought their weddings were fake, too.
Which meant she hadn’t come here to marry him at all.
So why had she come?
They had finished the cleanup, and now Kai led the way through the little campground as the sky darkened, turning the question over in his mind. She must have had a reason. After all, he was partially using Base Camp as a way to leapfrog over the competition to launch his cooking show. What if she had a similar plan?
A knitting show?
Kai shook his head. That didn’t seem likely.
Although who could account for taste.
“This is me,” Addison said with a little flourish as she stopped in front of one of the tents in the women’s section. He had the feeling she was eager to shake him. He wanted answers, though.
“Addison,” he began.
“How am I supposed to get this outfit off?” she blurted. Kai remembered the way she’d deflected his questions earlier at the creek, and his suspicions grew.
“What do you mean?”
“This… corset,” she leaned in to whisper with a glance at the cameras that had followed them. “You should see the way they tied it on me. I’m stuck.”
“I can help with—” Kai bit off the rest of his words as reason asserted itself. For a moment the idea of undressing Addison had kicked his doubts to the curb. But he needed to be careful. He’d been well on the way to falling for her, thinking his luck had been too good to be true, but that was just it, wasn’t it?
It had been too good to be true, and he needed to learn Addison’s real reason for being here.
“Addison? Do you need help?”
Kai turned to find Riley approaching. To his frustration, she bustled over, making further conversation impossible. “I’ll take it from here, Kai,” she said. “Addison’s had a long day. She probably needs some rest.”
Realizing he’d been dismissed, Kai thought about digging in and waiting until he and Addison were alone again, but relief was plain to see on Addison’s face. She did look tired—and the situation had to be overwhelming.
Maybe he was overthinking this. Maybe she’d come because she was attracted to him and had simply thought this would be a short-term affair. It didn’t have to be anything more sinister than that. If that was the case, maybe he could still persuade her there could be something more between them.
As it was, he could only say, “Good night, Addison.”
“Good night.”
Did she look disappointed for a moment? Had she been hoping he’d stay? Undress her? Kiss her again?
Kai’s blood, cooled by his doubts, heated again. But Addison turned to Riley. “Thanks for helping.”
Kai made his way back the bunkhouse. He’d have to wait to get his answers.
He doubted he’d sleep tonight.
Addison knew Kai had wanted to ask her a lot more questions. He’d looked so shocked when she’d asked him if all of this was real, she now knew for sure it was. She could only imagine what he thought of her. From his perspective the question must have been a doozy. If she hadn’t thought the show was true, why had she come to marry him?
When he’d walked her to her tent, she could see him turning the questions over in his mind, and she’d been grateful Riley had come when she did to prevent any more conversation between them. She had to talk to him about what was happening. But first she needed to figure out what she wanted to do.
She’d told him she’d marry him—which was a total lie. Which meant she needed to tell him she wouldn’t. He really did need to find a wife—or risk losing his home. She couldn’t ruin his chances—and everyone else’s—to secure Westfield for good.
But telling him meant leaving Base Camp, just when she’d gotten here. She wasn’t ready to leave yet. Everything about the place intrigued her, not least Kai Green. She wanted him to kiss her again, she admitted to herself.
She wanted a hell of a lot more than that.
Pushing those uncomfortable thoughts from her mind, she bent to unzip the tent flap, but Riley stopped her.
“Come to my house; it’ll be easier there. Boone’s not around.”
She led the way to one of the tiny houses, and Addison forgot her worries as she stepped inside and gasped.
“Oh, it’s beautiful, Riley.”
She’d seen its interior on the show, but it was better in person. All done up in wood, handcrafted to be one-of-a-kind, the small house had an organic feel, like it had grown out of the ground rather than been built. Large windows lined the southern walls, and Addison figured they’d flood the house with light during the day. Riley moved to pull the drapes.
“Stand here and I’ll get you undone,” Riley said when she was finished.
Addison did so, still entranced by the house as Riley helped her out of her gown.
“These things can be a nuisance,” Riley went on. “But they are awfully pretty.”
“I love this dress. I can’t wait for the ones Alice is bringing—”
Addison broke off, realizing she wouldn’t be getting any more dresses. Not if she confessed to Kai she had to leave.
She was unprepared for the disappointment that coursed through her. She’d never have a tiny house, would she? Her life would seem so plain after this trip. Coming to Base Camp was about the most exciting thing she’d done in years. When she went to New York she tended to be a bystander to Felicity’s life. She went to Felicity’s parties, shopped where Felicity wanted to go. Hung out with Felicity’s friends.
Here, she was taking center stage. It was a new feeling. A heady one—
But that’s why she was doing this, wasn’t it? So she could return to New York, take possession of Felicity’s penthouse and create the exciting life she’d always wanted?
“You’ll be amazed at how wonderful they’ll be,” Riley said. “When Alice makes a dress just for you, it’s magical.”
Magical.
Addison had always wanted a magical life, but if she left the show and went back to New York early, she’d lose any chance she had for that. She wouldn’t get the penthouse, would have to scrounge around for a new job—
And she wouldn’t have Kai…
“Everything okay?” Riley asked, stepping back so Addison could awkwardly pull her gown up and over her head. Riley got to work on the ties of her corset. “I know it’s really overwhelming here at first. But you’ll get used to it. Besides, there’s Kai. He makes it worth it, doesn’t he?”
“Yes,” Addison said slowly and glanced over her shoulder. “But do you think… he likes me?” She still couldn’t believe that could be true. If he didn’t care for her, it would be so much easier to leave.
Riley chuckled softly. “Oh, he likes you. That’s plain to see,” she said.
Addison turned this surprising statement over in her mind. “You really think so?”
“You know what I’ve realized since I’ve been here?” Riley asked as Addison peeled off her corset and set it aside, dressed only in her shift now.
“What?”
“We make love so complicated, but it’s not. It’s actually simple. It’s just a feeling in your gut, and you either have it or not. It can take time to grow, of course, but usually it’s right there at the start, too, even if you don’t want to acknowledge it. So, don’t think; just ask your gut. Do you want Kai? Deep down? You don’t have to tell me the answer.” She smiled. “You can borrow my robe to wear back to your tent or to the bathrooms. Alice will provide one for you when she brings you the rest of your things.” When Addison was wrapped in the light garment, still wearing her shift and underthings, too, Riley escorted her to the door. “Give yourself time before you make any decisions about Kai and Base Camp,” she advised. “Do what your gut tells you, not your head.”
“Okay.” Addison hurried back to her tent, clothing in hand, swapped them for her toiletries bag, made a quick trip to the bunkhouse bathroom and soon was back zipped inside. When she’d folded her things as best she could, she slipped into her sleeping bag. The mat was thin, and the sleeping bag was warm but not nearly as comfortable as the bed she’d sold. She wondered if she’d sleep tonight.
She lay on her back, stared up at the nylon tent ceiling and thought about Riley’s question.
Okay, gut, she asked herself silently. Answer truthfully, putting all reason and caution aside. Is there any way I’d go through with this marriage?
She didn’t get an immediate answer; her mind was swamped with too many potential problems. What role could she play here? Sous chef? How did she feel about country living? Extreme country living. She was a city girl through and through.
Would she…?
This was ridiculous. Of course she couldn’t marry Kai. He was a stranger. A man with aspirations that didn’t match her own.
A stab of disappointment had her rolling to one side. She curled up in her sleeping bag and forced herself to stay with the feeling. What is it, gut? she asked. Do I want Kai?
Her body responded immediately to this far simpler question with an intensity that made the answer impossible to refute.
Everything she’d ever imagined about Kai flooded her mind, her dreams made far more vivid by the details she’d gathered while spending a day with him. She’d been daydreaming about the man ever since she’d begun to watch Base Camp. She’d envisioned what it would be like to be with him. Pictured Kai’s hands on her bare skin, his mouth on hers, his body poised between her thighs. She’d pictured him entering her…
Addison lurched up onto her elbow. Hello. Where had that… lust… come from? They’d only kissed.
And that kiss had made her weak in the knees.
Yeah, she wanted him.
You came here to win the penthouse—not to marry a Navy SEAL chef, she told herself.
But her body didn’t care. It wanted Kai. Needed him.
Thought marrying him was a brilliant idea.
She lay down again, unwilling to succumb to such insanity. Maybe the real problem was the fact she’d been trying to win the penthouse at all. Maybe this was fate’s sick way of showing her how presumptuous that was for someone like her. She wasn’t the penthouse kind; she was a worker bee, not a queen.
Maybe she was supposed to get to New York under her own steam. Maybe she should forget about owning and resign herself to renting for the rest of her life. Find some little studio apartment she could afford. Find a new job and just keep working—
She’d have to commit to that plan, though. Be realistic about it in a way she hadn’t been being about the penthouse. She’d never have been able to stay there long-term, after all. Why get used to luxury only to give it up again?
What would a realistic life in New York City look like? Who would be her friends there? What kind of neighborhood could she afford to live in? Would she even like it with Felicity gone?
She turned over again.
She could stay here.
Alone in her tent, the cold air creeping in until she tugged the sleeping bag up around her shoulders, Addison let herself think about that possibility seriously. If she stayed here and married Kai, what would she be saying yes to?
A community.
Shared work.
Fresh air.
Interesting people.
Kai.
Did she need a penthouse?
She sat up. Of course she needed a penthouse. It had been her dream for years—ever since Felicity had gotten one. She loved being high up. The view. The windows. The star treatment from everyone. And she wanted the kind of business a person who lived in a penthouse would have. Celebrity clients. Red carpet parties.
But when she pictured herself striving for that—whether from a penthouse or a shoebox apartment—while Felicity and Evan lived in Europe, the vision seemed… empty. She’d always pictured life in New York with Felicity nearby. She’d wanted to re-create the fun they’d had as kids when pageants weren’t involved.
Without Felicity—and Evan—she’d have to start all over if she moved to the city, and she wondered how it would feel to rattle around in a huge penthouse all by herself. Even if living there was free, she’d be on a shoestring budget, trying to start a business, scrounging for clients who didn’t care she had no experience—
Was that any better than living in Hartford?
Suddenly unmoored, Addison found herself clutching the bedclothes.
And picturing Kai again.
No matter what the future held, she wanted to spend more time with him.
I don’t have to make any decisions tonight, she decided firmly. She needed more time—more information.
One week, she told herself. She’d already left her life behind to take this challenge that Felicity had imposed on her. She’d keep saying yes for one more week. She’d let the universe do what it wanted with her. But at the end of that week, she’d use logic, foresight and her usual practical mindset to make up her mind what to do next.
Which probably meant she’d say no to Kai, no to Base Camp.
And no to New York City.
Kai’s questions had kept him awake long into the night, and when Addison turned up in the kitchen early the next morning, she didn’t look like she’d fared much better, but she was brisk and cheerful as she entered the room, and when she asked how she could help, he didn’t turn her away.
Maybe he was overthinking this. She’d asked about scripts and she was right; many reality television shows did run that way. She might have been concerned about winging her way through the filming. It was reasonable.
She’d said she’d marry him, he told himself again. He should be content with that.
But he was anything but content.
The day had dawned bright, one of those blue-sky fall days with a nip in the air that was bracing rather than uncomfortable. Kai pulled out his notebook, flipped it open and showed her the recipe for a breakfast hash he’d long ago memorized how to make. He knew later he’d need to meet with Angus and figure out what else they needed to do to bolster their dwindling supplies. He’d make sure Addison was somewhere else. He couldn’t trust her with this secret.
And that killed him, because he wanted to. He wondered what ideas Addison would have about the predicament they found themselves in. She wasn’t a gardener, he reminded himself, but she was creative. You never knew.
Addison bent over the book, looking at the recipe he’d written in it, the notes all around it in his neat block printing and the tiny sketches he’d made in the margins: potatoes, a grater and other ingredients and tools used to make the dish.
“This is so… cool,” she said. She flipped a page or two. “There must be hundreds of recipes in here!”
“At least three hundred,” he admitted. He felt a little strange about her leafing through the book, like someone was looking through his diary—which he’d never kept, for the record.
“All these notes. Why are there all these different sets of cooking times?”
“Conventional oven, convection oven, solar oven on a sunny day, solar oven on a cloudy day.”
“Do solar ovens work on cloudy days?” she looked up, all curiosity.
“Not all that well,” he admitted.
“And the rest of this stuff. How to find the ingredients locally… notes about growing things… this is a treasure trove. Do you have a backup copy? Please tell me you have a backup copy,” she said sternly.
“Nope.” He’d never thought about a backup copy. “This is the only one.”
“It should be under lock and key,” she exclaimed.
He couldn’t help the pride that welled up in his chest. He forgot all his troubles for a moment. She got it. He wasn’t sure anyone else except maybe Boone understood the scope of his work. Kai took a moment to look at her again.
Hell, she was beautiful. Dressed in the same Regency gown she’d worn the day before, she was neat and trim, sweet but sexy.
Delicious.
“You should publish this,” she went on, back to leafing through it again.
He scoffed. “No one would be interested. But I’m trying for a cooking show.” Kai snapped his mouth shut. Why on earth had he told her that? He didn’t know if he could trust her yet. “No one else knows,” he said quickly. “Except Renata.” So far no one had noticed the extra crews filming him, or if they had they must have thought it was because he was the next to be married.
She nodded solemnly. “I won’t spill the beans,” she promised. “You’ll be a shoe-in for that, though. You’re an amazing cook, and you know how to explain things. Plus, you’re hot; women will love the show. And you’re a SEAL, so men will get into it, too.”
He was hot? Kai hadn’t heard anything she said after that. Addison thought he was hot?
Desire stirred in him. He thought she was pretty hot, too. Despite his doubts, he itched to touch her.
“Kai, this is all so amazing,” she went on. “How will you make it happen?”
“I’m already in touch with a producer. I’m waiting to hear back from him about cutting a pilot.” He couldn’t help himself. “Do you really think it will be a success?”
She beamed at him. “Yes.”
Over the next two days, Addison threw herself into the goings-on at Base Camp. If she was taking one week out of her usual life, she’d decided it was all or nothing. She’d never get this chance again. When she left the show early she’d need to restore her career back in Connecticut—or find a way to move to New York on her own without going broke. She’d have to work, work, work… just like she’d been doing. She had to make the most of her time here. When Alice delivered her new outfits, the burgundy dress was everything she’d dreamed of. Addison put it on and felt like she’d stepped into a fairy tale.
First off, she’d decided she wanted to know everything about Kai—and everyone else at Base Camp. If she had to leave in a week, she wanted a lifetime of memories from the experience.
She’d decided to start with the women, who were about to contend with a large party of guests. She sat in on several meetings and soon got the lay of the land at the bed-and-breakfast. There were a number of activities the women did with all their guests, starting with fittings for their very own Regency clothing. Alice Reed took care of that, having premade gowns ready to alter quickly to fit the guests, like the one Addison was wearing now. Next it was carriage rides, Regency dance lessons, watercolor painting lessons and lavish meals. Once she got a feel for the basic itineraries, it was easy to see where she could help. She used every spare minute she had to relieve the other women of preparation and cleaning duties so they had more time for their personal pursuits.
For her part, Addison loved every part of it. Alice brought her more clothing, and even cleaning was fun in her still new Regency work dresses as she got to know every corner of the beautiful manor. Preparing for the guests’ arrival had been even better. Nothing made her happier than company.
She knew many women dreaded housework, but she’d always taken to it. Cleaning stood for more than wiping away dirt to her. It stood for a feeling that a guest got when he or she walked into your home. It stood for her intentions toward her company; her intentions toward her own life. When she spiffed up a room she felt she was opening herself up to possibilities. Creating magic. Setting a stage. The guests had arrived last night, and Addison was doing everything she could to help.
When she could, she worked on the costume ball, too, determined no one else would suffer for her sins. She refused to let herself think about the fact she wouldn’t be there to experience it. She’d already realized one thing all the women at Westfield had in common was their determination to come through for each other in a pinch. If she left before the dance—no, when she left, Addison corrected herself—Riley or Avery or someone would step in and make sure it came off just fine.
First came the invitations. Addison wasn’t going to add any expenses to the women’s budget, so she went to town with the Russells and bought invitation blanks on a lovely, heavy paper, paid for them herself and, after creating a guest list with Riley’s help, used calligraphy to address them by hand.
She was pleased with the results. Calligraphy was another of her talents—and hobbies. She didn’t get to use it enough. The handwriting made the invitations seem more old-fashioned, too. In line with a costume ball held at a Regency B and B.
She’d talked to Felicity, who apparently didn’t even remember Addison’s call the night she’d been drinking. Addison decided to keep her concerns to herself. Instead of telling her again that everything on the show was real, she asked for Felicity’s help for the props she needed to make the ball a success. “You owe me,” she said. “It’s your turn to say yes.”
Her sister had, willingly.
Knowing that Felicity had the decorations well in hand, Addison turned to the question of music, and Maud Russell helped her there, too. She’d heard all about the ball from Alice, and she begged Addison to leave the music to her. “We know such wonderful musicians. We’ll take care of everything.”
Addison accepted gladly, wondering why Alice should go to such trouble when she was the one who’d imposed the ball on Addison to begin with. Maybe she felt guilty. Rightly so, Addison thought, although she couldn’t stay angry with Alice. The ball was going to be fantastic.
It killed her she wouldn’t be there to enjoy it.
Once more cautioning herself to stay in the moment, a mantra she’d always derided but now was her lifeline, Addison focused next on food and drink, but it turned out Maud was all over that, as well. “My cook, Mrs. Wood, will be happy to consult with you.”
“Mrs. Wood is a dream,” Riley told her when Addison questioned this arrangement. “Just let her run with it unless you have specifics in mind.”
“Who does the shopping?” Addison asked her.
“No one. The food magically appears. I’m serious,” Riley said when Addison laughed. “The Russells end up underwriting so much of our parties it’s awful. But you can’t stop them. Believe me; I’ve tried. They’re like, gazillionaires. I have no idea where they got their money, but they spend like there’s no tomorrow.”
When Mrs. Wood, a sweet, industrious woman, got in touch with her, Addison had several requests, but she quickly realized the other woman knew far better than she how to prepare for a ball.
“You aren’t upset, are you?” Addison asked Kai later that night. They had fallen into a pattern of taking a walk after their work was done. They talked over their day, Addison carefully steering the conversation away from any discussion of the future. Sometimes they kissed. Kai never pushed things further than that; after all, they were being filmed. “You’re the chef here. Maybe you want to be in charge?”
“Hell, no. I mean, if I was in the kitchen, I wouldn’t get to have any fun. I want to dance with you.”
“You do?” Addison was surprised. She hadn’t thought Kai would enjoy that, but when Kai took her hand and pulled her close, she let him. He swung her around in a waltz. He was light on his feet, masterful at guiding her.
“Yeah, I do.” And he kissed her. “We’d better figure out our costumes. We need to match, right?”
“I guess,” she said, flustered when he backed away. She wouldn’t be here to wear a costume. “I… uh… don’t know what I want to be,” she said to cover her confusion.
“How about I be Anthony and you can be Cleopatra. A toga is pretty simple.”
Addison immediately saw the possibilities, but she shut down her enthusiasm. She wouldn’t be attending the ball, she reminded herself. “Yes,” she said softly, suddenly wishing things were different. “But we’ll get Alice involved. No bedsheets.” No sense embarrassing Kai, even if she wouldn’t be there to see him.
“I don’t actually have any bedsheets—all I’ve got is a sleeping bag.”